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You may be familiar with the term ‘bondage’ and other acts that belong to the BDSM lifestyle , and you may well love the idea of practicing some of these erotic acts.
But finding a play partner, or being with someone who is as open-minded and intrigued as you are, may be difficult.
Fear not, as you can actually enjoy a session of bondage solo . That is, self-bondage. And while this kind of practice can prove to be more difficult, it is something that can be enjoyed… at your own risk.
In actuality, the level of difficulty makes it somewhat more appealing for some.
This is the act of using restraints on oneself in an erotic and sexual context. It’s a practice that requires well-mastered techniques as the more restricted one becomes, the more they will need a reliable release mechanism.
This is mostly because they do not have anyone to help them should they find themselves… in a bind. And, all jokes aside, some forms of self- bondage – such as auto erotic asphyxiation – can (and have) lead to death.
This self-bondage entails being able to escape restraints immediately and at any time. It means that the keys or tools needed to loosen or free the restraints is within reach, and is a way for one to simply experience the feeling of being restraint without added obstacles.
A more dangerous type of self-bondag e, strict self-bondage is when the means to escape is not available, and there is a release mechanism in place that is self-activating after a period of time. This type of self-bondage creates a bigger sense of helplessness.
A release mechanism is something that’s used to free someone who is in bondage . It pertains to strict self-bondage and is a tool that’s activated after a certain amount of time.
There are several kinds of release mechanisms, the most popular being:
Using an ice cube means placing a key in water and then freezing it. Once the ice cube has melted, the person has access to the key to free him or herself.
An ice lock can be used whereby the key and the lock have been frozen together, making escape possible only once both have melted.
This release mechanism is about either mastering the ability to figure out the code for release, or having the means and mobility to enter the designated combination.
This is when a water-soluble substance is used to block parts of the lock. Once the substance has been dissolved, the person is able to use the key and lock to free themselves.
There are also various kinds of emergency release mechanisms which may come with a few unpleasant side effects. These include:
A backup key can be stored in some form of liquid, like paint or oil, and when the barrel or container is spilled, the key will become available.
This is to create an undesirable drink or putting urine in a cup and having to drink the contents in order to have access to the key.
This is to arrange for someone you trust to visit you at a certain time to help in case of emergency. Or, a mobile phone can be placed somewhere accessible and one can make a phone call for help, if need be.
Of course there are more than 8 different kinds of material that can be used during self-bondage, but these are the most popular.
Rope can be used as a body harness, or used to tie certain body parts. For some, the feeling of rope against their skin is blissful, but can definitely cause injuries to the skin and body if not used correctly.
Chains are used as a weight and also favourable for those who enjoy the sound that it makes. Chains are more difficult to get through than rope.
Plastic wrap creates the inability to breathe, which will cause sweating and suffocation. If done in layers, it can prove to be extremely difficult to remove.
A favourite is duct tape, and is used not only to create a restraint but also causes the skin to tighten, which then gives off a feeling of pain for those who seek it.
Handcuffs are easy to find, and for metal lovers, create a nice feeling against the skin. The risk of using handcuffs is the possible cutting off of circulation.
Leather looks great but can be an expensive choice when it comes to using it as a restraint.
Latex is a less intimidating form of restriction, but gives one a feeling of tightness, like wearing a latex bodysuit .
Rubber, like latex, is used in a similar fashion. It’s a more durable material but more expensive than latex.
And when it comes to self-bondage techniques, we recommend you doing your own research as not to condone any dangerous activities. Remember that this kind of BDSM practice comes with a big slew of life-threatening risks, and if you’re interested in trying it, do so with absolute caution, precision, and safety.
Helena is a sex-positive freelance copywriter in her early 30’s from Cape Town, South Africa. She’s travelled and lived in various countries in Asia and Europe for almost a decade, and continues to live her dream — traveling the world independently as a copywriter. Having written for various companies and magazines within the industry, she has extensive knowledge in the field of sexual health, the escort industry, and sex toy marketing.
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Home Kink Solo Kink: BDSM and Masturbation

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Today, I want to talk to you about solo kink, specifically BDSM and masturbation. It is National Masturbation Month, after all, in case you’re stopping by the blog for the first time today and have missed the common thread in all my posts. The fact is, not everyone into kink is in a partnered relationship, and even those of you who are, might not be partnered with someone kinky.
Without getting into my personal history of BDSM – which I will do soon, I promise – I can share that for most of my life, I was either not partnered or not partnered with someone kinky. This meant that my only explorations with kink were done solo. For many of you, this may also be your experience, and it doesn’t have to mean you can’t enjoy kink on your own or with an internet friend.
First off, let’s be clear: there are things you can’t do alone. You can’t set up inescapable bondage. You can’t surprise yourself. But other than that, well, there’s a lot of stuff you can do on your own if you’re kinky and you want to play. My content is designed for subs, because that’s my inclination.
Self-bondage is one of those things that can be great when done safely, and when done wrong, ends up with an embarrassing news story that ruins your online reputation or worse. There are a lot of really hot self-bondage stories online, many of which are not at all safe to attempt.
Safety first when doing self-bondage. The simplest, safest method is to not tie your hands at all, but bind other parts of your body: legs, breasts, genitals. You could also bind one hand but leave the other free. Using cuffs with dogbone clips that you can reach is an alternative to rope, giving you the feeling of restraint without the actual restrictions. Whatever you do, make sure you can get out of it, even with numb fingers. Keep scissors handy, just in case. Don’t get elaborate.
If you must get elaborate, there are ice locks and other devices to ensure your timed restraint. These give me the heebie-jeebies, personally: hot in fantasy, but what if the house catches fire? Okay, your ice lock would probably melt faster, but… still. Come on. Seems too risky for me. If you are practicing any kind of elaborate self-bondage, have a friend who knows to call if you haven’t texted in an hour or so. If you don’t want to reveal your kinky secrets to your friends, then don’t get so elaborate with your bondage, or make up a cover story. Whatever.
The psychological effects of bondage are as strong as the physical, so look for ways to heighten the experience without compromising safety. Restrain your other limbs more strictly. Blindfold yourself, if this won’t hinder your ability to release yourself. There are plenty of scenarios and instructions online, but please, safety first.
Self-bondage and breath play do not mix, ever. Honestly, in my opinion, solo breath play should never be practiced by anyone.
There are a number of blogs running tease and challenge instructions for kinksters.
PleasureTorture is one of my favorites. There are a number of audio teases giving instructions, and it feels almost like you’ve got a Dom right there telling you what to do.
Sadistic-Games offers up 30 Days of Sadism (and then 31 Days of Sadism, if you want more) which are some fun challenges. By fun, I mean fun for a blog named Sadistic Games. SG, as I refer to him, is a pretty awesome guy with a hot, hot blog, and his challenges are fantastic.
FemSubDenial has a whole link to female masturbation instructions that you might enjoy. He reblogs my porn blog sometimes, so we’re cool.
As you can tell, I’m a big fan of Tumblr porn, and these are just three lovely ones.
Cyber Sex! Just typing it feels like the late 90s to me. Or the early naughties. Whatever. Cyber sex is any kind of online video or text-based sex play with a real person via the magic of the internet. It’s fun! I wrote a whole post about Kik sexting to share my experiences.
You can find people for play through groups on Fetlife, if you’re so inclined. Please note that I said groups on Fetlife, not random people you message and ask to sext with you. Use the Kik groups. There are people looking for play. Find them.
As always, be safe on the internet, folks! Be careful of who you show your face and identifying marks to, because there’s always a chance it’ll end up elsewhere on the internet, and like glitter, the internet is forever.
There are other kinky things you can do on your own.
Kink is fun with a partner, but it’s also fun solo. Set yourself challenges, blog about your experiences, or just cultivate some really naughty fantasies. You are, after all, in control of your sexual destiny.
Yesterday, we learned that 46% of respondents watch or read porn when masturbating at least some of the time, and 38% do it all the time.
Might I recommend some erotic romance novels ?
This #MasturbationMonth poll thanks to @badassestbarbie !
Given a choice, do you prefer partner sex or masturbation?
— Elia Winters (@EliaWinters) May 25, 2016
I have now fallen down a rabbit hole of links, I’m not sure if I want to thank you or curse you!
[…] from bottoms, including but not limited to the bottoms they actually play with. Why? Because, while solo BDSM also exists, BDSM is generally thought of as a partnered activity (or a team activity, if you play […]
Thanks for sharing this informative and interesting blog post.
Thank you for this. I’m a strong feminist who has an equally strong sub desire and no clue how to get going. I’m older and not physically attractive so am not really looking for a partner, as much as I’d love a man who wants to sexually dominate me. I’ll be checking out these links!
Wow. Your post is not only amazing but also have some wonderful and interesting concepts. Thanks for sharing.
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