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Soft Blow Job
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We have nothing against blow jobs (assuming he’s also lavishing your lady parts with plenty of attention), but sometimes they just take so damn long. “After a couple of minutes of active bobbing, your jaw can start to ache,” says Sasha Kaplan, founder of Blow by Blow , which offers blow job workshop parties based in San Diego and Los Angeles. “You’ll want to speed things along for your own comfort.” Word.
Lucky for us, Kaplan shared her cache of jaw-dropping tricks that are not only guaranteed to bring men to their knees, but also slash the average suck sesh in half.
Take these tips for a spin, and he’ll hit O-Town in five minutes flat (hopefully).
Before you head south of the border, spend ample time on foreplay to make sure he’s plenty thirsty. “If he’s limp, you’ll have to take him from zero to 100, which is lot more work,” says Kaplan. Make out, stroke him with your hands, grind against his bod—whatever it takes to give his joystick a jolt.
Not only is tea bagging one of those fantasy moves that will get him hot AF, but it’s also a sure fire strategy to cut down your time spent giving head. “His testicles are very sensitive but don’t get a lot of pampering,” says Kaplan. “Many women are unaware of the extent to which focusing on them increases his arousal, and it just takes a couple of minutes,” she says. Plus, they’re easier on your jaw and feel smaller in your mouth than his peen.
Caress his cojones with your hands as you’re getting into position, and then start to lick all around the sack. Next, gently pop one of his nuggets into your mouth, suck it, and roll it around your tongue . “Start with a medium amount of pressure, and read his body language to determine if he wants a firmer or lighter touch,” says Kaplan.
If tongue-twisting his family jewels isn't your, ahem, cup of tea, jump him post-shower, when he’s super fresh, or use your hands to play with his boys during oral. Hint: Pressing them in closer to his body will definitely move things along, says Kaplan.
To ensure a smooth sensation, don’t skimp on the saliva, sister. “Any roughness or bumps will slow down his progress,” says Kaplan. “You want to emulate the soft wetness of intercourse.” Guzzling a glass of water beforehand helps.
Wrap your index finger, middle finger, and thumb around his shaft, and glide up and down, in tandem with your lips. “A hand-mouth combo allows you to cover more surface area,” says Kaplan. Your hands also let you add a little flair to increase arousal . Swivel them around his shaft like you’re revving a motorcycle, or give him a squeeze.
Getting handsy also serves another purpose: If you need to come up for air, keeping your hand in motion maintains your groove while your mouth takes five. “Momentum is really important,” says Kaplan. “If you stop for just one second, you could potentially lose the orgasm that was building.” Now that would seriously suck .
Imagine you just scored tix to a sold-out Bey show, or your boss told you she wants to give you a raise because you’re slaying it. Can’t even? Channel that excitement into oral action. “He will be more turned on if you’re into it,” says Kaplan.
Push him down on the bed instead of waiting for the ask—simply initiating an oral sesh will send the message you want him. As long as it feels natural to you, moaning or dirty talk (“you feel so huge in my mouth”) will also convey enthusiasm.
Another way to amp yourself up is to focus on your sexual power. The fact that your lusty skills bring him to his knees is pretty freakin’ awesome. (And hey, if you simply can't muster any enthusiasm, just skip it.) 
Hold a vibe against his perineum (a.k.a. taint), and gently massage him while you’re south of the border. “This is the outer wall of the prostate gland, or male G-spot, and giving it attention will bring him to orgasm more quickly,” says Kaplan. (Check out these fun sex toys from the Women's Health Boutique .)
Since the sensation can be intense, close your hand around the toy before placing it behind or under his sack. Another option: Press it against the outside of your cheek as you’re bobbing. Trust: If there were an Olympic event for reaching O-Town, he’d be crossing the finish line in first place.
The head of the penis is a nerve ending hot zone, so giving it love will fast forward his orgasm. “Underneath the tip is a narrow seam called the frenulum, which is where the nerves meet,” says Kaplan. “Swirl your tongue around it, or move your tongue back and forth across it like a windshield wiper.” He’ll go, well, nuts.

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Putting a penis in one's mouth is not as simple an endeavor as one might assume it is. Learning how to give a blowjob is a complicated process that can be a source of anxiety, fear, and unexpectedly deep soul searching. While the person being fellated might not be aware, the person on the other end is being bombarded with a lot of blowjob-related mind garbage. But no one ever talks about these little nagging things that have to do with giving head. It's difficult enough to bring up blowjobs around the water cooler or at a dinner party, so getting into the dirty little details can be tough. Obviously, not so for me, since I'm broaching them right now.
Generally, conversations about blowjobs center around who can deep throat, how easy/difficult it is to get a penis in your mouth hole, and whether or not you should kiss after completion. But there are far more mundane factors at play, and all of them far more important than these racier questions. I don't know why we don't talk more about the minutiae of giving head. What I do know is that there are certain things I can guarantee most women are thinking when we go down on someone. Such universal thoughts deserve to be shared and commiserated over. Here are six things about blowjobs that no one ever talks about, but which I'm forcing you to listen to me talk about right now:
Blowjobs are scary - not because of what happens to you when you're giving them, but what you might inadvertently do to the person you're giving them to. For instance: suddenly, reflexively biting down for some reason. There are a lot of things I'd like to go through life never having experienced. Orally castrating someone is certainly one of them.
I envy anyone who can give a blowjob and retain sexy thoughts in their brain. For most of us, we're just trying not to choke on the chunk of our own hair that keeps slipping into our mouths. We're also thinking about the sweat smell of balls, making eye contact, the giant drip of our own spit smeared across our face, not biting down, etc.
Again, I have much envy for the sucker who has no gag reflex. Because for everyone else, when a penis hits the back of your throat, its all we can do to stop from vomiting. Add "vomiting on someone's penis" to the list of things I would like to go through life without ever doing. It doesn't exactly scream "sexy" - unless you're one of those fetishists I once saw on Jerry Springer (I'm aware that a Jerry Springer reference reveals my age, and I don't even care).
Look, I don't want to brag but, like, I work out. Even still, there's no workout quite like kneeling with no hands for support (one's on the shaft, the other's on the balls) while angling your face downward and bobbing your head up and down. There's no amount of yoga that will prepare your core for the exercise of giving head. It's a full-body experience that requires poise, concentration, balance, and abs and thighs of steel.
No matter how many blowjobs you've given, nothing can prepare you for giving your first one to a new person. Every penis is unique, and no two blowjobs are the same. The same can be said for all sex acts, but there's something particularly intimate about having someone's penis in your mouth. The whole experience can be quite discombobulating, what with all the balls you have to juggle (pun intended) with a new person.
It doesn't matter whether you're an established spitter or swallower, or how many times you've had a man cum in your mouth. There's always an intense anxiety when you feel him come close to orgasm. What is going to happen? Even though you know, you're still scared. For instance, every time it comes to that point, I start worrying that so much semen is going to squirt out so hard and fast that I will choke on it. This has literally never happened to me. But as soon as a guy starts clenching, I fill with fear. Even the most seasoned fellator has anxiety when it comes to finishing the job. Snap decisions have to be made, fast and in the heat of the moment, which can lead to embarrassing situations, like naked runs to the bathroom to spit up.
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud page.
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We know you broads think any blow job is a good blow job. That guys are just happy you're there, putting the dick in your mouth.
But if that were the case, we'd get blow jobs from other dudes who have the equipment and know what feels good and what doesn't.
Some broad recently wrote an article about five kissing mistakes that guys make , which seems to insinuate only men do certain shitty things when they kiss and women don't when, in fact, a bad kisser is a bad kisser regardless of gender.
The blow job, however, is another story. When it comes to kissing, men and women both have lips and therefore most of us know how to use them. But women don't have dicks, so it's not uncommon to find one who thinks she's gnawing on a corn cob instead of handling a delicate instrument of pleasure.
In worst case scenarios, there will be a jerk, a shriek of pain or a swift palm strike to the side of your head if you're really a hack. In less extreme instances, you'll just be deemed unsatisfactory as a sexual partner, your number will be lost and you'll be forgotten about.
So, consider this our public service announcement.
The biggest mistake a woman can make and will immediately get her added to the do not call list is being too toothy. Any contact of the teeth with the penis is unacceptable. The worst is when you scrape your teeth up and down the shaft.
Open your damn mouth wide enough to keep your teeth out of the equation. We know it isn't comfortable or normal, but you'll get used to it. When you do, you'll learn that you'll be able to make friends and influence people much better than before.
Just in case you weren't aware, there's a whole cock there. It's more than just the tip. Yeah, OK, that's the most sensitive part and we know the whole thing looks intimidating, but you have try to get more than just the head in your mouth.
Get down the shaft and even work the balls into the mix and you'll have a happy man. You know that porn flick you've seen where the guy is ramming the chick's head up and down on his dick and she's gagging? That's because she probably wasn't taking it all in, and he simply took matters into his own hands.
Yeah, it's true. Blow jobs are about sucking cock. While there's absolutely no reason you should confuse it with a hand job and stop using your mouth, there's no reason you should only be using your oral orifice to get the job done.
If we just wanted to feel the inside of a wet hole we could have shoved our dicks in a pail of worms or an apple pie, like in that movie we all saw. Not only will your hands save you from having to constantly deep throat the shaft, but it's key to a well-rounded blow job.
So stroke that shaft and cup those balls!
I honestly haven't come across one of these in a while. That is, women who think it's OK to spit after they take a load in their mouth. They're out there, though. Some will spit it back on you, others will spit it on the floor, and others will run to the bathroom and spit it out.
It's an unbelievable turn-off to witness you spit out our seed as though it's sour milk rather than show us how much you like the taste our own come. It's already in your damn mouth, so just swallow it! Nothing makes a guy want to kiss you less and call you a cab faster than a broad who can't handle a load.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ladies, if you're going to spit don't you DARE dribble it all over him. It's one thing not to swallow, but to cover himself with what he'd rather see all over your face is insulting. Suck it up.]
Some guys like a finger up their asses. It's definitely not the worst thing when performed at the right time in the right fashion – and with some prior warning. What is the worst thing is when you suddenly find a dry finger – WHAM! – jammed up the butt mid-BJ.
I know most women can relate to this because some idiot has surely tried to randomly jam a dick or thumb up their asses, too. So they should know it doesn't feel good when the tables are turned!
These operations are delicate. They require finesse, not force. They also require lubrication of some sort. I know it's a lot to ask, but if you want to get into that area, have a little common sense.
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