Snakes In Pussies

Snakes In Pussies
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On Saturday night April 30, 2017, Ms. Burton was resting at 1:00 am in her condo. She heard a noise coming from the kitchen but ignored it as there are usually noises coming from that location around 1:00. So, Ms. Burton continued resting. About 2:00, she felt something crawl into her bed, but she ignored it as she had always heard noise around 2am coming from that location. Ms.Burton later felt something go in her from behind and had awaken screaming! “It is a big snake!” she said. Ms. Burton did not call the police because she realized it was a familiar creature. She actually begin to embrace the big snake in passionate love making. After, Ms. Burton washed up and headed to the kitchen. She then realized what the noise at 1:00am was. It her husband eating lasagna, before he crawled into bed at 2:00am to give her his big snake!

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Ashley Oerman
Lifestyle Director
Ashley Oerman is the lifestyle director at Cosmopolitan, covering fitness, health, food, cocktails, and home.

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An E.R. doctor and nurse share the craziest things they've extracted from humans' nether regions.
Every so often, crazy stories about the objects found in people’s butts, vaginas, and other human holes make the news. (Remember the woman who forgot she had a sex toy in her vagina for 10 years ?) As it turns out, these too-ridiculous-to-be-true incidents actually happen a lot more frequently than you might think. We asked an emergency room doctor and nurse about the weirdest stuff they’ve taken out of people. You'll never think of orifices the same way again.

Phallic Food
One patient care manager and a former emergency room nurse in Chicago has seen women who have used frozen hot dogs and bananas as makeshift sex toys on multiple occasions. The thing is, as these foods thaw, little pieces of them break off and get stuck in the women's vaginas.

A Cell Phone
One lady somehow lost her partner's smart phone in her vagina when she and her partner were fooling around, says the nurse. Though the details about how the phone ended up there are a bit fuzzy, the doctors got it out and returned it to the woman, who said she needed to give it back to her man.

Dildos
“It's always the dildos,” says the nurse. He estimates that these cases make their way into the emergency room where he works at least once a month.

A Glass Soda Bottle
When a bottle is inserted into a rectum, it can cause suction, and it won’t come out easily, says Darria Gillespie, M.D., an assistant professor in the department of emergency medicine at Emory University School of Medicine. Unfortunately, one of Gillespie's patients learned this the hard way.

Hairspray
The nurse says a woman with an aerosol can of hairspray in her vagina once showed up while he was working.

A Remote Control
Another woman had a TV remote control lodged in her vagina, says Gillespie. No word on whether she was able to change the channel via kegel.

A Vibrator
Yikes: When this guy went into surgery, the vibrator was still buzzing away in his anus, says the nurse.

Paper Towels
One woman had a wad of paper towels up inside of her for about two weeks before it was extracted in the emergency room, says the nurse.

A woman found out why her beloved pet snake had been acting strangely in a story that has been going viral on Facebook.
A woman who slept with her pet snake every night noticed the animal had stopped eating recently, and took it to the vet to find out the cause of her pet's change in behavior, according to a post from Boredom Therapy. The snake, a large python, would sleep in bed with her, curling around her body.
When the snake's owner took it to the vet, the doctor revealed a shocking piece of information. The snake's appetite hadn't gone away, in fact, the vet said, it was preparing its stomach for a big meal that it had been getting ready to eat -- the woman.
Thanks to the vet, the story goes, the woman narrowly avoided becoming her python's next meal. In another version of the story online, the snake was cuddling with the woman because it was measuring itself compared to its owner's body, to check if it was large enough to swallow her whole, and a different version concludes with the vet telling the woman to have the snake euthanized.
Debunking site Snopes has listed the story as false, and examined the origins of the urban legend. The site speculates that the story may have been partly inspired by a 2008 news story from Australia involving a snake that swallowed a pet dog. The family reportedly looked on in horror as their Chihuahua was swallowed whole by a 16-foot-long python.
According to the news report, the snake had been stalking the family's dog for some time, and in the weeks before the attack, the body of the family's cat was found looking like something had attempted to swallow it. A week before the Chihuahua was attacked, the family's pet guinea pig had been eaten by a smaller python.
Pythons, Snopes said, do not measure their prey before going after their meals. In addition, experienced owners of large snakes know it is common for them to go without food for relatively long periods, so it wouldn't be a reason for the owner to take the animal to the vet.

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