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By
Amy @ Planned Parenthood
|
Jan. 28, 2011, 5:16 p.m.
Is it painful for girls to have sex for the first time??
Some girls experience pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse. They may have so much hymenal tissue that stretching it open during first intercourse may cause pain and bleeding. Girls with a lot of hymenal tissue can prepare for first intercourse by slowly stretching the tissue with their fingers.
People define “sex” in different ways. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as “sexually motivated behavior.” This sounds right to us. But not everyone agrees with the dictionary or with us. People all have their own definitions of what “sex” and “having sex” means.
For many people, “having sex” means engaging in a range of intimate, physical behaviors by yourself or with another person or persons that can often (but not always) involve the genitals. For some people it’s only penis-in-vagina intercourse. For some people it’s only penis-in-anus intercourse. For some people it’s genital rubbing without intercourse. For some people it includes oral / genital contact. For some it includes masturbation. The possibilities are many. For most experts (like Merriam-Webster and us) it includes all the above.
Anal sex can hurt if partners do not take certain steps. The anus does not usually produce enough lubrication for comfortable anal sex, so it’s important to use an artificial water-based lubricant — like K-Y jelly or Astroglide — for anal sex. (Using an oil-based lubricant, like Vaseline, can damage latex condoms.) Lubricants can make vaginal intercourse more comfortable as well.
It’s also important to stop doing it if anything hurts and communicate with your partner about how you feel — sex that’s painful or uncomfortable should not continue.
However you define it, being sexual with another person — whether that means kissing, touching, or intercourse — involves a lot of responsibility. It’s very important to protect yourself against pregnancy and STDs . And you need to make decisions about protection before you engage in vaginal, anal, or oral sex
Learn more about sex and virginity .
Tags:
sex ,
virginity
Planned Parenthood delivers vital reproductive health care, sex education, and information to millions of people worldwide.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc. is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit under EIN 13-1644147. Donations are tax-deductible to the fullest extent allowable under the law.
© 2021 Planned Parenthood Federation of America Inc.
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My First Queer Kiss Wasn't That Amazing
"It was a major landmark in exploring my sexuality."
No one ever forgets the thrilling, nerve-racking, butterfly-inducing feeling of a first kiss. Seventeen.com talked to 10 girls about their first experiences kissing girls. Some were in the process of exploring their sexuality, some had already figured it out, and some were just goofing around — all scenarios that are totally normal. From playing house as kids to dance floor make-outs to spin-the-bottle dares, these stories are too cute.
"I had a boyfriend briefly in high school, but the first girl I kissed was someone I met at college orientation. It was a day or two after our first date, and we had gone to hang out in her room. It was pretty apparent that we were both interested in the other person. She asked if she could kiss me, and obviously I said yes. We kissed for a couple seconds but broke apart right before her roommate's entire family walked in. That kiss was a major landmark in exploring my sexuality — it was a confirmation that this was right for me. I realized that I enjoyed it so much more than I had enjoyed kissing a guy. I identify as a lesbian now (and have been in a relationship with that girl since August!)." — Kylie, 19
"I had been questioning my sexuality for a while, and last year, at a party in my dorm, I locked eyes with this girl I had been friends with since middle school. We had flirted slightly on occasion but nothing serious. She came up to me and just kissed me. I was surprised at first, so I stiffened. I was nervous because I had only been kissed two other times, and the first was awful. I was also afraid of confirming my thought that I liked girls. But then I melted into it and we ended up making out on the floor. It was awesome. Afterward, I felt more comfortable with my sexuality: I'm bisexual heteroromantic. I like girls and boys but I only want to pursue boys romantically." — Samantha, 19
"My friend group and I were at a gay nightclub on their 18+ night. I met a girl who introduced herself to me, danced nearby me and sometimes with me, and started a conversation. I couldn't tell if she was into me or just really friendly. When I leaned in at the end of the night to give her a kiss, I got cold feet and just hugged her. But then outside, I saw her again and told her I wanted to kiss her, but I was too nervous. We said goodbye for a second time. Five minutes later, she ran after me and kissed me. I told her it was my first kiss. She was honored and said she wanted to try it again. At this point, her friends and my friends were laughing and filming us, so we ran around the corner and tried to kiss again. It was still so awkward. Finally, she told me to stand still with my eyes closed and my mouth slightly open and we kissed one final time — my actual first kiss after so many attempts! " — Kelly, 18
"When I was 12, my best friend had already had her first kiss and I hadn't, so she suggested we make out so I could 'learn how to do it for the future.' I remember being pretty nervous. I wasn't sure I would know what to do. Afterward, I was just relieved to have survived. We did kiss again — a couple of times — but never ended up dating. Looking back, I probably should have known I was gay, but I didn't end up coming out until later on. There's no 'right' way to discover your sexuality. You don't have to have it all figured out. If it takes time, then so be it." — Michelle, 18
"When I was 15, my best friend just asked if she could kiss me. I was shocked and didn't really kiss back because I didn't know what to do. We flirted and made out for the next few months, and then we wound up dating for a year. I had never considered that I was anything but straight before her, but dating her definitely made realize that I'm bisexual." — Julia, 18
"When I was 15, I was pretty sure I was into women, but I wanted an experience to know for sure. I wound up kissing a girl during a game of Spin the Bottle. The kiss ended up being really bad and I got super upset. I was like, 'Does this mean I'm straight?' Even though I was pretty sure I wasn't straight. Now, I say I'm queer — I don't feel like there's a label that fits exactly how I identify, and my identity has certainly changed over the years." — Alex, 19
"I had kissed boys before because that's what my friends did, but I always had thoughts about girls that I kept hidden. Then, one girl caught my attention. We were friends until she told me she had feelings for me. She told me not to be scared — to just like who you like and that's it. She kissed me when we were hanging out by the water at sunset and I felt so free, so accepted, so giddy. I couldn't get the smile off my face. We were together for about three months (never officially) and wound up great friends due to the distance. Now, I don't label my sexuality. I'm a girl who at the time liked a girl. I'm a girl who can also like a boy. I like people and if there is a person who interests me and cares for me then that's all that matters." — Zoe, 20
"I spent New Year's Eve at my friend's party. After the guys had left, one of the girls said that she wondered if she was a good kisser. My friend decided she wanted to find out if she was, too. One thing led to another, and after that we all took turns kissing each other and then giving one another feedback. It was only strange for my first kiss. After that it just felt perfectly normal." – Chloe, 15
"My first kiss with a girl was when I was in seventh grade at my 13th birthday party. It was actually my first kiss, but I don't count it. We were playing Spin the Bottle and I ended up kissing about every girl there. It made me question my sexuality, but at that age a lot of girls question it. I dated a few girls, but never did anything with them, not even kiss them. It's funny, I've kissed more girls now that I identify as straight than I did when I was curious." — Ansley, 19
"I've known I'm a lesbian since birth. I was eight years old when I had my first kiss. Every time my friend and I hung out, we'd play house and be 'husband and wife' and kiss — and it was something I always looked forward to . It was cute and there was no pressure." — Brianna, 21
Hannah Orenstein is the assistant features editor at Seventeen.com. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram !
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/ask-experts/is-it-painful-for-girls-to-have-sex-for-the-first-time
https://www.seventeen.com/love/a45599/girls-get-real-about-their-first-kisses-with-girls/
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Small Girls First
