Small Dick Guy

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Small Dick Guy
My husband has a small penis. There, I've said it. We have an active sex life, and he is really good with his hands, so he thinks that as long as he's giving me orgasms his size doesn't matter — but it's starting to. For me, orgasms aren't everything. Sometimes it's difficult to feel him, and I like a sensation of fullness. I don't know how to tell him this for fear of crushing him. 
For the love of God, don't tell him! No, no, no, there's no reason to bring that up.
We're gonna work this out, but you have to promise not to criticize your husband's meager member. I mean ever. If you think the thing works poorly now, imagine what it would do if the words "difficult to feel you" were to ever tumble carelessly from your mouth. 
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that if you're comfortable talking orgasms and, er, fullness with a stranger and thousands of readers, you're no staunch traditionalist, so... Have you considered trying toys in the boudoir? Tell your fella you're fantasizing about spicing things up, and ask him to join you in purchasing some pleasure-prompting playthings. Choose a mix of girthy gadgets for yourself and glovey gizmos for him, too (hey, you have to assume it's difficult for him to feel you, too). Add in some feathered, flavored, or fur-lined fun to throw him off the "you have a small penis" scent.
Fullness you can buy. But a man that you love, who is manually dexterous and makes a regular point of pleasuring you? That's no small thing.
My brother moved across the country 30 years ago and, through some luck and a lowering of ethical standards, ended up as a multi-millionaire. Separately, my mother had been abusive to me and my family over the years, and it got so bad that I couldn't bring myself to see her anymore. So she finally moved to live near my brother, and now claims to be broke. She refused to co-sign for my daughter's college loan for one of the most expensive schools in the country, and sent her a high-school graduation gift almost a year late because she supposedly didn't have any money. My wife and I are barely scraping by. We have never experienced so much stress in our lives working endless hours to pay for my daughter's school. I received an email from my brother telling me my mother broke her hip because a guy ran into her with his car. I replied that maybe she should sue him to get some money since she was too broke to send a card to my daughter. My brother said he and his wife would like to visit my wife and I. I didn't respond and don't plan on seeing any of them ever again in my life, and do not plan to attend my mother's funeral. What do you think?
What do I think? I think you're an angry, confused dude who isn't qualified to be be doling out "ethical" and "abusive" labels from on high. 
Few would fault you for ejecting an abusive mother from your life. But you've also lost the right to expect anything from her in return (and why would you want it?).
Working hard to send your daughter to a pricey school doesn't make you a martyr. In fact, it makes you exactly like your brother: a guy who made a financial choice that others in his family feel no obligation to support. 
Re-read your response to your mother's injury and see if it doesn't strike you as astoundingly petty. Since living far away from your family and plotting never to see them again doesn't seem to be making you any less resentful, try a different tack. Do you know what feels better than lugging around an ugly grudge for your family's failings? Being the person you wish they were.
Earn your income with integrity. Shake the sofa cushions for loose change to buy your mother a get-well card — and send it before the year is up. Then let your brother come visit and see if you can connect over your common history, rather than your disparate bank accounts.
When you see your family as dollar signs, you're all the poorer for it.
Send me your dilemmas via email: ToughLove@TheWeek.com . And follow me on Twitter: @ToughLoveAdvice .
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Enrique Iglesias recently boasted about having a tiny...well, you know. Oddly, he's not the first big star to brag about a little package
When Enrique Iglesias boasted about having a tiny...well, you know...it kind of actually impressed us. (Refreshingly honest, right?) But he's not the first. From Shia LaBoeuf to Howard Stern, here are more big stars who cop to having less than huge packages.
His father may have crooned about all the girls he loved before, but Enrique Iglesias has a more modest approach. During an interview on Australian TV years ago, the 41-year-old singer delivered a humble brag for the ages when he claimed, "I have the smallest penis in the world." He wasn't joking. (In 2005, Iglesias gave an interview to the Houston Press in which he made a similar boast: "The next product I'm gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it's really embarrassing for people—you know, from experience.") As if that weren't honest enough, Iglesias told the astonished Aussie audience, "I don't even last eight minutes now."
For years, Howard Stern has made fun of his own member, famously declaring he was "hung like a pimple." In a 1994 Rolling Stone cover story , the magazine asked Stern about his surprising honesty: "I think I might as well be up front about it," he replied. "No guy will ever admit to having a small penis. I just went on the record. I might be one of the smallest guys in the world." Stern also revealed that at one point he'd wanted his book Private Parts to be titled Penis "because I thought if it went onto The New York Times' best-seller list, it would be `Howard Stern's Penis. ' And they'd have to write `Howard Stern's Penis is No. 1.'"
He's friends with a guy named Wee Man, but Jackass star Johnny Knoxville also claims to be one. "I have a penis like an egg in a nest," he told Rolling Stone in 2001. "It looks like a light switch. Seriously." But even little ones can have big problems. In 2010, Knoxville confessed to Vanity Fair about the injuries he's sustained doing his various Jackass stunts. "I broke my penis about three years ago trying to back-flip a motorcycle," he admitted. "So that didn't help its appearance—although it's pretty cute."
After divorcing Tom Arnold in 1994, Roseanne Barr went on Saturday Night Live and revealed that her ex had a three-inch penis. Fortunately, Arnold had a good sense of humor about it and delivered the perfect comeback—"What's small?" he asked. "Hell, even a 747 looks small if it lands in the Grand Canyon." Several years later, he made peace with the incident in his memoir, How I Lost Five Pounds in Six Years : "My penis is fine," Arnold wrote. "Maybe because I undersell it. If someone expects petite and gets medium, they're impressed."
While discussing how he lost his virginity in a 2009 interview with Playboy , Shia LaBeouf overshared about being underwhelming. "I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie," he told the magazine. "It put her at a weird angle, where I couldn't get in correctly. I'm not extremely well-endowed...and clearly this wasn't the move."
During an appearance on Inside the Actor's Studio , the British comedian spoke pretty frankly about his endowment: 'I don't want to go into it but I'm not built, its average, I'm 5 foot 8 it's in proportion, don't worry about it." He then continued, "I'd look weird with a foot long knob wouldn't I? It'd be ridiculous, also I'd faint if I got an erection as all the blood would be in there. It's fine, it's fine, really it's average."
One more for good measure: Ever since it was removed during an autopsy in 1821, Napoleon Bonaparte's penis has been the stuff of legend. And not for the right reasons. When the French emperor's tiny scepter went on display in a New York exhibition in 1927, Time magazine reported that it resembled a "shriveled eel." According to Tom Perrottet, author of Napoleon's Privates , it was eventually purchased by John Lattimer, a New Jersey doctor who collected odd relics, but he never displayed it. After Lattimer's death, his daughters finally showed Perrottet the puny prize. "It was kind of an amazing thing to behold," he told NPR in 2008. "There it was: Napoleon's penis sitting on cotton wool, very beautifully laid out, and it was very small, very shriveled, about an inch and a half long. It was like a little baby's finger."

I don’t have exact percentages, but a large number of the male population suffers from the tragic Small Penis Syndrome (SPS for short.) Here are a few ways to tell (without actually having to witness his tiny penis.)
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This side effect pretty much encompasses the entire list, but can be spotted through a few simple behaviors. Men who have tiny penises normally over compensate by attempting to own expensive things. For example, a man driving a Ferrari probably has a really small dick. By driving a fancy car, a man is pretty much saying, “HEY! Focus on the car, NOT my small penis! PLEASE!” If a man feels the need to wave his money in your face, then he is more than likely the owner of an undersized package. A man with a normal penis knows that once the time comes for you to see see his penis, it will not be a disappointment, and he will not need other tactics such as bribery to keep you around.
Being from the South, I unfortunately witness this display of small penisry on a daily basis. Other than the fact that men who drive jacked up trucks are more than likely huge douche bags who still believe women belong in the kitchen, they are definitely suffering from small penis syndrome. This category of men is probably suffering the most, actually. As I like to say, “the bigger the lift, the smaller the dick.” A man’s penis also grows smaller with every inch of camouflage that lines his interior and/or ignorant stickers that refer to the truck they are stuck on. These men usually exert their frustrations with their small penis by revving their engine for no reason. A man with a small penis lets his vehicle serve as his penis. If you need further explanation regarding this topic you can refer to any country song, ever.
Is he jealous when it comes to other men? Or your friends? Or your family? Or your pet? Seriously, I have witnessed my friends’ boyfriends get mad at them about spending time with their family and friends when, apparently, they should have been fondling his tiny dick. Unexplained jealousy and rage are a telltale signs of a small penis, and you should avoid a man with this behavior at all cost. Being the man attached to a small penis is an insecure role; he probably imagines your need for a real penis, and gets very self-conscious in thinking that you’re always out trying to find one. 24/7. Unless you’re at home, with him, or in his truck or Ferrari.
Men who spend more time grooming themselves than you need to be tattooed with “small penis.” Seriously, if a guy is trying really hard to amp up his game in the looks department, it usually means that you’ll be disappointed when you search for an erection but find a troll of a penis. Signs of this symptom include: tanning, hair gel; tedious/ridiculous gym schedule; any type of silk garment; tight, flared jeans (really any clothing that can be described as “too tight”); and shaving his arms/legs/back in an attempt to resemble a seal. I’m all for manscaping, but unless you’re Michael Phelps and need to eliminate hair in order to gain those extra seconds to glide through the water, you should have arm/leg hair. The inverse of this is refusing to perform any type of grooming because their excessive man hair is the only thing that keeps them feeling adequate. Gross amounts of hair do not make me feel impressed by your manhood; rather, I feel like I’m spooning a bear.
Men who refuse to relate to anything feminine are probably doing so because their micropenis leaves them feeling like less of a man than it should. Being overly grossed out by periods, denouncing chick flicks, claiming that females cannot be funny, and refusing to do “womanly” activities are a few side effects of this symptom. Your man isn’t a “manly man” just because he hates chick flicks; in fact, he’s probably less of a man than the boyfriend that readily admits to enjoying things that his significant other enjoys (and having sex with them with a real penis.) Nothing solidifies a man’s comfort in his own skin like partaking in anything, whether it’s “feminine” or not. Just because you help with household chores, enjoy watching Girls or even help decorate the house, doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man.
Men with small penises usually house lots of pent-up frustration (due to the fact that they have small penises), and get annoyed by any and everything. A man that has more drama than an episode of The OC can easily be diagnosed with small penis syndrome. If a man is constantly having drama with his friends, or bitching to you about the stresses of his everyday life (I know, babe, playing X-Box and going to class is super stressful…) then he is more than likely a victim of an undergrown penis. A stable man with a good penis doesn’t have to worry about the petty drama that life brings; after all, he has a great penis, damnit! (We all know that’s what the male psyche boils down to.)
Some of the men who have the most sex suffer from small penis syndrome. These men try to spin the story in their favor and claim that they have so much sex because they’re game is undeniable; however, most of the time when men only have consecutive one night stands, it’s because the your partner was left unsatisfied by their teeny pene. Most of the “players” that I’ve hooked up with have the smallest penises, and the guys whom they usually mock tend to out-perform them 100% in the bedroom. Sorry, bro, that “freak” in the band has a way bigger penis than you, and deep down, you know this. So go ahead and tell the world that you’re infamous for never calling girls back or being with a different person every night, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter because… small penis.
There are some professions/miscellaneous things that require you to have a small penis. Here’s a brief list: owning a Mustang, being obsessed with your fraternity (TFM, BRO!), being mean to animals to assert your dominance, refusing to drink light beer or admit that anything but angus beef steak is your favorite food, thinking copious amounts of drugs and/or alcohol will magically grow your penis, doing steroids (apparently this has a literal effect on the size of your penis), thinking (and telling people) that you could ever be Don Draper (or really any of the men on Mad Men ), and finally, carrying a weapon at all times because if all else fails, your tiny penis is never going to protect you from harm.
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14 Brave Women Reveal Why They Like Small Penises SO Much Better
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By Sloane Solomon — Written on Jan 31, 2017
When it comes to a guy's size , we might be quick to claim that "bigger is better." Despite this commonly known statement, the size of a man's penis doesn't always determine if and how he'll pleasure a sexual partner.
But before you go judging a guy on his size, remember it's not always the size of the boat — it's the motion of the ocean.
In fact, it is really the opinion of the woman herself on what she likes and doesn't like. There are women who actually PREFER smaller penises . Yes, it's true! 
There are many reasons why some women believe that smaller penises are better. Here are some women who reveal why size doesn't always matter .
1. He works harder to make sure you're satisfied.
"I like small penises because the overcompensation for them works in my favor every time."
"I honestly like small penises. Like they don't hurt as much and you don't gag anywhere near as often."
"I'm a petite female and I prefer smaller penises because large ones are uncomfortable for me. It takes too long for them to start feeling good."
"I love small penises because they're easier to work with. I only pretend to like big ones around my friends."
"I prefer smaller penises simply because I want to stay tight. No one wants to see someone who's stretched out."
6. Small penises are better looking. 
"I think small penises are way sexier than bigger ones and I'm not afraid to admit it."
"I think small penises are cute and people shouldn't be ashamed."
"I prefer guys with small penises. Big ones are just uncomfortable."
9. Because too big a size makes you feel all types of wrong. 
"Big penises disgust me and make me feel weird. I prefer a small penis every day."
10. Some women just find them adorable. 
"I secretly prefer smaller penises because they look cute. I've never told that to a guy because I don't want to increase his ego."
11. You can't judge it all on looks. 
"Larger penises are ok to look at but in terms of guys I want to sleep with, I prefer men with small penises."
12. The sex can be just as good with smaller sizes. 
"I'm a woman who likes small penises because they can satisfy me just like the big ones."
"I like guys with smaller penises because they're easier to give blowjobs."
14. It depends more on the man than the size of his penis. 
"I actually prefer men with smaller penises. They have to know how to use it though. When done properly, sex is an art."
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