Slut Shout
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Slut Shout
The Four Levels of Slut Sleeping around carries an unfair double standard, but sluttiness does have levels.
by Nathan DeGraaf | June 21, 2006
Points in Case is a daily literary humor publication featuring enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices, since 1999.
Main: Man, she’s a whore?
Nathan: How can you say that? She never got paid.
Main: I stand corrected. She’s a slut.
I think it’s unfair that women are often considered sluts for sleeping around. Women say that this perception of them propagates a double standard because men are never considered sluts for rampant sexual activity. (Although, if that were truly the case, then why do so many women I know call me a slut?) And recently, because I just dumped a girl who cheated on me, I have been pondering exactly what it is that makes a girl a slut .
Now, when I get to pondering, well, sometimes I just have to get out a pen and write down my thoughts. This was one of those times. You see, there are many different kinds of sluts, and there is not one hard and fast rule that simply defines a woman as a slut. But there are (at least) four levels of slut.
“Sadly, the Cheating Slut is really what most men mean when they say ‘slut' or ‘whore.' The first two levels are just people being people.”
This woman is not technically, by definition, a slut. She is the woman who gets stereotyped as a slut simply because she likes to fuck around. This woman typically has no boyfriend (or a boyfriend who doesn’t care that she fucks other men) and simply goes out looking to get laid. She doesn’t feel that she should have to settle down, and she thinks it’s unfair that other women degrade her for this. She is right. She is also one of the reasons I get up in the morning.
Of the last four women I’ve slept with, three fall into this category because (as far as I know), they were not cheating on anyone, were not lying about who they fucked, and were not asking for anything more than sex. Women love sex, too; they should not be blamed for seeking it. Stereotypes hurt everyone. Ironically enough, usually other women hate this girl because she can fuck who she wants, while men bare her no ill will. She is, after all, simply doing what she likes. And men, for the most part, respect that.
Unlike the whores that make up the second level of slut.
Much like the Sexually Liberated Woman, this slut has no boyfriend. She does however, and for whatever reason, feel she needs to lead men on. She fucks several different men at one time while tricking the men she fucks into thinking that they are pursuing a relationship. Which is to say that every one of the suckers she fucks happens to think that they’re the slut’s soon-to-be boyfriend. She also loves seeing men fight over her, which may be (at least in part) the motivation for her leading these poor bastards on.
The main thing that separates her from the Level 1 Slut is that she is not honest with the men in her life because she derives pleasure from wrapping suckers around her little finger. The women representing this level of slut usually leave me alone. I’m not sure why, but I’m pretty sure the Garden Variety Slut has a radar for suckers, and because I am not one, I hardly have to deal with these bitches.
I can’t say the same for the sluts in levels 3 and 4.
Cheating Sluts come in three different categories. There are those who simply cheat on a boyfriend they’ve had for a few months and then tell him (no big deal); those who cheat on a guy they’ve dated for a few months, never tell him, and force him to find out from his friends (a slightly bigger deal because these sluts lack honesty); and then there are the worst kind—the sluts who fuck around on a man they’ve been with for years and never tell him about it.
The first girl I fucked after the breakup belonged in last category. The bitch was engaged. She fucked me late in the afternoon and left early in the evening because her man would soon be arriving from work. To her fiancée, I say, “I hope your parents are proud of you for preparing to marry a 21-year-old waitress with no education. Oh, and by the way, I’ve never met a girl who had a tell for her female ejaculation before. I mean, her leg quivers like an epileptic in mid seizure and then she squirts. That’s kind of weird. And yes, I like her body, too.”
Sadly, the Cheating Slut is really what most men mean when they say “slut” or “whore.” The first two levels are just people being people, not people being disloyal bitches. What separates this level of slut from the fourth and final level of slut, is, quite simply, the motivation for cheating.
Fortunately for me, I live in a college community where finding a man with his own car, no roommates and a steady income is like hitting the jackpot for most girls. Unfortunately for me, this means I often get hit on by the Money Grubbing Slut.
The saddest thing about the Money Grubbing Slut is that she really does like (or even love) her boyfriend. She simply expects more from her man in terms of monetary consideration. She doesn’t make her own money and can’t live off her boyfriend’s petty McDonald’s wages, so she seeks out men who will take her to nice places and buy her shiny objects. This is the worst kind of whore because she’s pissing on love and respect all in the name of a few dollars.
I love promising this girl I will take her some place nice, then fucking her and ordering a pizza, explaining to her that I’m broke. After this, I can usually count the seconds until she leaves, feeling used. Then I double check my wallet; you can’t trust a Money Grubbing Slut (at least, not until she starts making her own money, in which case, the nickname gets changed to “Materialistic Shark,” which is unfair—I mean, why blame a girl for wanting money and making it?).
So guys, the next time you take a woman home from a bar, or fuck her in the bathroom at a party, or on the rooftop of a shopping mall, or in the grass median on the side of a highway (you know, whatever works for you), you may want to consider exactly what level of slut you are fucking. Remember, it’s not wrong if it’s just sex for sex’s sake (hell, female sexual liberation was the best thing to come out of the women’s rights movement). But if she’s in a relationship with some other guy (or guys) when you first fuck her, odds are she’s not the kind of girl you want to spend six bucks on.
Then again, few women are worth six bucks.
Nathan DeGraaf graduated fucking years ago with a BA in Creative Writing from the University of South Florida, which he still lives near because college chicks are the best. On... See full profile »
When we were told to chase our dreams, nobody mentioned they’d be mostly anxiety dreams.
Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.
Attention Doughty Word Of The Day Quiz Fans!
Such rude candour on "The Cub- Slut 's" part had made her feared; so that nobody durst provoke her in the slightest degree.
"The Cub- Slut " stood firm before Csar, provocative, with flashing eyes, in an attitude of challenge.
This island was of the drift formation, and as late as half a century ago, a portion of it still remained, being called Slut Bush.
Then suspecting that she was shut up with a gallant, he struck great blows upon the door and began to shout ' Slut !
"The Cub- Slut " answered in the negative, by an energetic movement of her head.
Did Ma'm'selle Slut not wait at table in this house and lead the men a dance here night and day-day and night till I found it out!
bitch noun (vulgar) malicious woman
Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Third Edition Copyright © 2013 by the Philip Lief Group.
See how your sentence looks with different synonyms.
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The woman was caught on camera screaming for help as other dancers seemed to ignore her cries
A WOMAN live-streamed herself crying and screaming for help as she was 'raped' in the middle of a packed dance floor.
The alleged victim was heard repeatedly shouting "no" and "someone please help me", but no one intervened.
The woman, who can not be named, had uploaded several live videos to her Facebook on Saturday night as she partied at Opera, a nightclub in Atlanta, US.
She posted five videos to the site the fifth showed the moment she was allegedly raped by a man she had been dancing with all evening.
In the shocking 12 minute video which has since been removed, showed the woman saying: "help me" repeatedly.
She then started to get louder, shouting "help me, help me, help me, oh god help me".
Terrified, she continues to yell "no".
In the footage there is a man seen with his phone, seemingly filming the horrific incident.
She screams and "please stop, oh god please."
At one point it's alleged that the man was heard saying "shh" and "baby" as she continued to cry and shout for him to stop.
In all the other videos, that still remain on her Facebook wall, feature the man in question.
Before the supposed attack, they were filmed dancing and laughing together.
The woman told him that she was celebrating her birthday and that she was by herself.
He asks her if she wants a drink, to which she explained she never drinks but she has had one for her birthday.
He is heard saying: "Have another for your birthday."
To which she requests something "sweet and with vodka".
Throughout the videos the pair dance, but she seems to get more intoxicated.
He calls her his "new best friend" and kisses her on the cheek.
But suddenly, the night takes a horrendous turn - leaving the club goer screaming in distress.
She released another video the following day on her Facebook page, thanking her friends and family for their support.
She said: "I don't even want to address the situation. I don't want to talk about it, but I'm going to be alright, I'm going to be ok.
She added: "All I want is justice, that's it. That's the game y'all"
The video was viewed by 957,000 times and became inundated with messages of support.
Eagle-eyed viewers claimed to have seen the man spiking her drink with a pill.
Police are investigating the alleged attack.
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The fan rituals that made Rocky Horror Picture Show a cult classic
Laverne Cox as Dr Frank N Furter: not a target for hurled hotdogs. Photograph: Steve Wilkie/Fox
The week's best TV: Rocky Horror, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Black Mirror
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No matter how good Fox’s updated version of the 1975 campfest is, it will never beat watching the original with a live audience and throwing toast at the screen
No matter how good Fox’s adaptation of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is when it debuts on Thursday, the experience will never match going to see the original 1975 cult classic with a live audience. The world’s longest continuously showing movie plays in theaters across the world every week with “shadow casts” of actors pantomiming the action and dialogue in front of the screen, with attendees dressed elaborately as characters from the film. There is a ritual of call and response between the audience and the characters on screen, and a host of props that should be taken out or thrown at the appropriate cues.
What if you want to turn your living room into an official Rocky Horror Picture Show screening? The first thing to know is that the experience differs from theater to theater. “Some jokes are localized to a certain cast or a certain town,” says Eric Garment, the 25-year-old co-director of NYC RHPS , the organization that puts on weekly performances in New York City and has been going since 1976. “That’s why it continues to be so loved and proliferate with thousands of people being involved in it. There are no two shows that are ever exactly the same.”
The protagonists of the story are Brad and Janet, two squares who get engaged in the opening scene. They celebrate by going to see their science professor Dr Scott, the man who introduced them. On the way to his house, their car breaks down and they wind up in the mansion of Dr Frank N Furter, an alien transvestite who is hosting a party for the unveiling of Rocky, his hunky Frankenstein-esque creation. The innocent Brad and Janet get caught up in a world of decadence and will never be the same. The same goes for anyone watching the film for the first time.
They’re usually initiated before the film starts with a “virgin auction”, where those who have never seen the film live are called on stage and auctioned off for sometimes-obscene objects rather than obscene amounts of money. They’re also asked to perform in lewd contests. “We play a little game show called Let’s Have an Orgasm and virgins fake their best one and the audience votes on the winner,” Garment says. “It’s great fun.”
There are some agreed upon objects that viewers are going to need to have on hand. Rubber gloves come in handy to snap when Dr Frank N Furter first gets up to his lab after singing Sweet Transvestite. Following that there is a dinner scene where Frank puts on a hat, so it’s nice to do the same along with him. In the same scene he also proposes a toast, where the audience usually throws slices of toast at the screen. Finally, during the song I’m Going Home, when Frank sings, “Cards for sorrow, cards for pain,” it’s customary to throw cards. Either the playing or greeting variety will suffice.
Garment says there are some traditions that theater owners don’t love. Throwing rice during the opening wedding scene used to be ubiquitous until clean-up crews started complaining about the mess. The same goes with people shooting water guns during the song There’s a Light, when Brad and Janet walk through the rain. Janet puts a newspaper over her head in the film, which would also happen in the theater, mostly to protect a well-styled wig from all of those water pistols. There are also some arcane props that are no longer in fashion. Garment says that at the end of the song Planet, Schmanet, Janet , various characters call Frank a “hotdog”, which would prompt the hurling of the cylindrical mystery meat toward the screen. Yeah, no one wants to deal with flying wieners in public.
Another time-honored tradition is yelling back at the screen at certain times during the film. For instance, every time a character says Brad’s name, the audience shouts “asshole”, and every time someone says Janet’s name they shout “slut”. No, not very nice, but it can be very funny. There are also a few other well-worn responses, like during Sweet Transvestite when Frank takes an inordinately long pause between the syllables “antici” and “pation”, the silence is filled with revelers screaming, “Say it!”
For those who want a full accounting of what to say when, there are several great annotated scripts available online . Garment says that the biggest laughs come from those who are making it up as they go along and deviating from the script, and even including topical humor. During Time Warp, Frank’s butler Riff Raff opens a coffin and there is a skeleton inside. Someone invariably shouts, “Say hello to [name of recently dead celebrity].” Naturally, the show can get political. “Right now the flavor of the week is making specific jokes about Donald Trump and pussies,” Garment says.
It’s not always the audience shouting after the movie, however. Sometimes a participant will pose a question and let the dialogue of the film answer him. “You set it up and you let the movie tell the punchline,” Garment says. The only way to pull off those jokes is to see the movie so often that every scrap of dialogue is memorized. The props and some of the common callouts are easy, but for that master level of participation it’s going to take hours of studying this odd, little film. There’s no time to start like the present.
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