Slut Shaming Definition

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Slut Shaming Definition


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1 Naissance et utilisation de l'expression
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Le slut-shaming est un concept proposé à l'origine par les féministes canadiennes et américaines. Cette expression, traduisible en français par « intimidation (ou humiliation) des salopes » ou « couvrir de honte les salopes », regroupe un ensemble d'attitudes individuelles ou collectives, agressives envers les femmes dont le comportement sexuel serait jugé « hors-norme ».

Le slut-shaming consiste donc à stigmatiser, culpabiliser ou disqualifier toute femme dont l'attitude ou l'aspect physique serait jugé provocant ou trop ouvertement sexuel [ 1 ] ou qui cherche à se faire avorter [ 2 ] , [ 3 ] .

Même des symboliques n'ayant a priori pas de lien avec la sexualité peuvent mener à la stigmatisation (argent, voiture, pouvoir) et au slut-shaming [ 4 ] .

Le slut-shaming entretient l'idée que le sexe est dégradant pour les femmes. Il est commis par des hommes comme par des femmes [ 5 ] , dans les sphères publique et privée. Les attaques peuvent être physiques ou morales et dépendent de la culture et des valeurs de l'agresseur. Elles peuvent par exemple concerner le nombre de partenaires sexuels, la manière de se vêtir, de se maquiller, ou encore l'attitude générale d'une personne [ 6 ] . Le slut-shaming inclut fréquemment – mais pas systématiquement – l'utilisation du terme « salope » (en anglais slut ) ou d'un terme proche de sens.

Les injures homophobes et transphobes stigmatisant aussi un comportement sexuel et une identité de genre sont aussi considérées comme du slut-shaming [ 7 ] .

L'expression slut-shaming (également slut-bashing ) est utilisée principalement par des personnes dont le but est de dénoncer et de lutter contre cette pratique. Actuellement, l'expression slut-shaming est utilisée couramment aux États-Unis et au Royaume-Uni [ 8 ] , essentiellement par des féministes. En France, ce terme est progressivement intégré au langage courant, principalement sur internet [ 9 ] (via les blogs et les réseaux sociaux). Il est employé sous sa forme originale, souvent accompagné d'une traduction pour faciliter sa compréhension.

L'expression a été popularisée depuis l'apparition des SlutWalks en 2011. Deux cofondatrices de la première SlutWalk de Toronto , Sonya Barnett et Heather Jarvis, ont utilisé en 2011 l'expression slut-shaming pour expliquer la démarche des Slutwalks : « we are tired of being oppressed by slut-shaming ; of being judged by our sexuality and feeling unsafe as a result » [ 10 ] ( nous sommes fatiguées d'être oppressées par le slut-shaming ; d'être jugées sur notre sexualité et par conséquent de nous sentir en danger ). Les SlutWalks ont donc pour but de dénoncer les comportements regroupés derrière le terme slut-shaming .

Plusieurs affaires médiatisées ont permis à l'expression slut-shaming d'être davantage connue du grand public. En 2012, la polémique autour de l'animateur de radio conservateur Rush Limbaugh et de l'étudiante en droit Sandra Fluke a soulevé personnalités et féministes américaines [ 11 ] . Le 29 février 2012 , Sandra Fluke qui réclamait alors le remboursement de la contraception par les assurances-santé, avait été traitée de « salope » et comparée à une « prostituée » par Rush Limbaugh lors de son émission [ 12 ] .

La médiatisation de cette affaire (également en France [ 13 ] ) a permis de pointer du doigt le phénomène des insultes visant la sexualité des femmes et donc plus largement le slut-shaming .

Les féministes qui emploient le terme slut-shaming dénoncent une société qui considère les femmes sexuellement actives comme des « salopes ». Le slut-shaming est un moyen d'empêcher les femmes de s'exprimer librement – principalement au sujet de leur sexualité [ 14 ] . Le slut-shaming est donc la marque d'une pression exercée par la société patriarcale sur les femmes, afin que celles-ci ne transgressent pas ses normes sexuées.
Les féministes font d'ailleurs remarquer qu'il n'existe pas d'équivalent masculin au slut-shaming et que les termes désignant un homme sexuellement actif (Dom Juan, hommes à femmes, dragueur...) ne sont pas connotés négativement [ 14 ] . L'autrice Leora Tanenbaum [ 15 ] explique à ce sujet que le slut-shaming prouve que le sexisme est toujours vivant et qu'à mesure que garçons et filles grandissent, différentes attentes au niveau de leur comportement sexuel et de leur identité s'appliquent à eux. Le slut-shaming est selon elle la preuve d'un « double standard sexuel » impliquant, pour les hommes, la libre expression de leur sexualité, et pour les femmes, l'impossibilité d'accéder à cette même liberté.

Les féministes considèrent qu'il est urgent de stopper le slut-shaming qui est extrêmement blessant pour les femmes qui le subissent. Elles mettent en avant ses conséquences psychologiques et les violences auxquelles il expose les femmes [ 16 ] .

Les féministes perçoivent le slut-shaming comme une forme de harcèlement sexuel , dans la mesure où l'utilisation d'un langage à connotation sexuelle dans le but de créer un environnement hostile à une personne est largement reconnu comme tel (pour la France voir la loi du 6 août 2012 ).

Le slut-shaming est également dénoncé comme moyen de blâmer les victimes de viol , en accusant ces dernières d'avoir provoqué leur agression – notamment à cause de leurs vêtements [ 17 ] . Dans ce cadre, le slut-shaming entretient l'idée que certains vêtements (l'exemple des fuck-me shoes (en) est parfois cité) constitueraient de véritables appels au sexe et invalideraient donc le non-consentement de la victime de viol. En tant que tel, le slut-shaming serait donc un comportement faisant partie intégrante de la culture du viol (en anglais rape culture ), concept proposé par les féministes.

À mesure que l'expression slut-shaming gagne en popularité, une partie des féministes récuse son utilisation [ 18 ] . Ces féministes pensent que ce terme est trompeur et qu'il prête à la confusion. Elles ne remettent donc pas en question la réalité du phénomène [ 8 ] , mais pointent du doigt l'emploi du mot slut et jugent l'expression inappropriée.

Si des féministes qui soutiennent le mouvement des SlutWalk cherchent à se réapproprier le mot « salope » ( slut ) et à le défaire de sa connotation négative [ 19 ] , d'autres affirment que l'employer équivaut à perpétuer l'utilisation d'un langage misogyne humiliant et blessant pour les femmes. Utiliser le mot « salope » crée pour ces dernières un clivage entre les femmes et les divise en catégories ( slut et non-slut [ 8 ] ) au lieu de les rassembler. Elles proposent de combattre le langage sexiste et de reconnaître cette pratique comme étant plus généralement une marque de haine envers les femmes (« woman hating » [ 8 ] ).

« In Dilemmas of Desire: Teenage Girls Talk About Sexuality (Harvard University Press, 2002), Deborah L. Tolman complained that we've "desexualized girls' sexuality, substituting the desire for relationship and emotional connection for sexual feelings in their bodies." Recognizing that fact, theorists have used the concept of desire as a way to undo the double standard that applauds a guy for his lust, calling him a player, and shames a girl for hers, calling her a slut. »
« Certainly the individualizing admonishment to 'think again' offers no sense of the broader legal and political environment in which sexting might occur, or any critique of a culture that requires young women to preserve their 'reputations' by avoiding overt demonstrations of sexual knowingness and desire. Further, by trading on the propensity of teenagers to feel embarrassment about their bodies and commingling it with the anxiety of mobiles being ever present, the ad becomes a potent mix of technology fear and body shame. »

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‘some of the criticism smacks of slut shaming’
‘while it certainly touches on gender double standards and slut shaming, it's not what the film is about per se’ ‘There will be no slut shaming around these parts.’ ‘Slut shaming is a common problem that generally targets girls, often from a very young age.’ ‘Ok, so what I have learned today is slut shaming is a thing like bullying.’ ‘I've got a big problem with slut shaming, especially when it comes from a fellow woman.’ ‘The vast majority of comments involve extensive bullying, lots of slut shaming going on, they're completely derogatory.’ ‘Let's hope you're not opposed to slut shaming because this is exactly what you are doing.’ ‘You could argue that we, as a society, are becoming less tolerant of slut shaming, more accepting of our bodies or simply harder to shock.’ ‘So, I beg of everyone - can we stop with the slut shaming already?’ ‘This form of slut shaming is particularly troubling because its reach extends beyond the lives of the rich and the famous.’ ‘Online slut shaming affects the lives of everyday people and hampers the potential for an individual to seek gainful employment or live a private life.’
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The action or fact of stigmatizing a woman for engaging in behavior judged to be promiscuous or sexually provocative.
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What Is Slut-Shaming? (And Why You Need to Stop Doing It)


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So your friend just got out of a long, nearly sexless relationship. 
Now, he’s doing what any newly single person would do: hitting up the dating apps, swiping right a ton, going on dates as often as possible — sometimes five or six per week, even. When you talk, he’s going on about all the sex that stems from these dates. Can anyone really manage to enjoy that many sexual partners, you wonder? Wouldn’t you get tired? But your friend appears to be loving every minute of it. “They can’t get enough of me!” he tells you.
This particular person is a guy, but what if it was a woman? Would you condone the same, sex-filled, promiscuous behavior if it were told about a female? For many people, there’s a salient difference. A guy getting laid a ton is a Romeo, a player, a stud, a Don Juan. But if a woman were to play out the same exact scenario, a very different type of word starts creeping in: loose, easy, promiscuous, whore, slut. 
That last word is the root of the term “slut-shaming,” a practice that most people engage in to some degree at some point in their lives, sometimes without even realizing it.
“This one guy was not into dating me seriously because I was too promiscuous for his taste (even though he had no problem sleeping with me), and because I also slept with women.” - Maria, 29
Slut shaming is “when someone is shamed for being sexually provocative or promiscuous, or being perceived as not having control over their sexual behaviors,” says Dr. Janet Brito , a sex therapist based in Hawaii. 
However, not all people are slut-shamed equally. “Specifically,” Brito notes, it’s most often applied to “women who sexually behave outside of societal norms.”
This can take on many forms, including “blaming someone for being sexually assaulted, shaming someone’s kink interest, negatively judging someone’s wardrobe as being sexually inappropriate or used to garner the sexual attention of men,” says Brito. It can even go as far as what someone the outfit someone has on, or how they present themselves with their clothing. 
“When we tell women and girls what's appropriate or inappropriate for them to wear, we're communicating to them that their value diminishes based on how sexy someone views them as being,” says Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness . “That is slut-shaming.”
But the issue doesn’t begin and end in the changing room. Because of the way sexual desire is framed differently depending on someone’s gender, men are often expected to be sexual, whereas women’s sex lives are explicit and implicitly policed. The tacit understanding, for many people, is that a woman’s value as a person (or as a partner) is diminished by the amount of sex she has.
“One of the most common ways this happens is by people asking about the number of sexual partners their new partner has been with,” says Caraballo. “Most of the time when it's asked, it's designed to make some assessment on how worthy or ‘used up’ someone is. What's more important to inquire about is the kind of sexual contact people have had before, and their experiences using protection or testing for STIs, and/or any related medical conditions that you might want to know about to manage your own risk more effectively.”
Women are simply subjected to much more stringent standards when it comes to their sexual history — not because they’re more likely to carry of transmit STIs, but because their decisions to have sex are considered suspect on some level.
That leads to all kinds of backwards thinking, with women who experience any kind of negative consequence for sex are often thought to have "deserved it" — an infection, an unexpected pregnancy, a less-than-consensual encounter — simply because they were having sex in the first place. 
“I’ve been made to feel weird about my sexual preferences by previous partners. Because we’re taught early on to think of sex as something dirty, I feel anything that deviates from the standard vanilla sex narrative that we’re most often fed is looked at as even dirtier.” - Elsa, 27
While some sex-negative attitudes — like, say, kink-shaming — arguably impact both men and women in similar ways, slut-shaming is a very gendered practice. But while the primary impact is felt by women who are typically punished for being sexual beings rather than celebrated for it, men still experience negative effects, albeit slightly different ones. 
“Slut-shaming is abusive behavior and no one wins, to be honest,” says Caraballo. “People who engage in it do so to boost their egos but this feeling is fleeting and can't really help them contend with their own sexual internalized shame, thus inhibiting their ability to really embrace their own sexuality.”
When you’re belittling someone else for their sexual choices, you might feel better in the moment, but in the long run, you stay trapped in a regressive mindset that doesn’t reflect sex in any kind of healthy way. And of course, the receiver is left unable to embrace their sexuality to the fullest.
“Some negative consequences of slut-shaming for women are increased shame, feeling bad about their sexuality, self-doubt, and feeling unworthy,” notes Brito. Thus, women are often put in a conundrum where there’s no right answer. If you hew to what society dictates, you’ll be forever frustrated — and if you seem not sexual enough you might be mocked for being ‘frigid’ — but if you follow your desires, you’re likely to be castigated or mocked for them. 
There’s a reason, for instance, that the concept of the “stripper name” exists. Women who engage in sex work need to maintain some degree of anonymity, hiding their true identities to avoid facing any negative consequences from their choices. Former porn actresses have been fired from jobs as simply on the grounds that having sex on camera makes you unfit to be in a professional setting for the rest of your life. 
“Slut-shaming also perpetuates so many myths about sex/sexuality, and spreads misinformation more broadly, which keeps us in the sexual dark ages in mainstream culture,” says Caraballo.
Considering the broad range of negative impacts, it’s a good idea to start trying to confront instances of slut-shaming in your own life. 
“When I was a teenager, I was very much anti-choice when it came to abortion, even though I was more generally leftist and no longer very religious. But a conversation with my older cousin made me realize that my position was basically that I believed women deserved to be punished, essentially, for having sex outside of a certain context. When I had to actually think it through a little bit, I changed my position completely.” - Ian, 30 
While men aren’t the only ones with slut-shaming beliefs — women often police other women’s sexualities as well — they are a special case. Meaning, men are often guilty of judging without being judged themselves, critiquing women’s decisions without ever feeling their own decisions put under a similar microscope. 
They can trust that they won’t be removed from consideration for having had too many past partners (or possibly not even asked in the first place), or that people won’t joke about their genitals being used up and worn out by too much penetrative intercourse. Considering the relative place of privilege that men occupy when it comes to slut-shaming, it behooves them to start extending some of that non-judgmental attitude they’re on the receiving end of to people who aren’t — namely, women.  
For Brito, that starts with unlearning the idea that sex is dirty, period. “Stop internalizing the shame surrounding sex,” she says. “Affirm yourself as a sexual being — so that you can also affirm others as well.”  
If you can see sex for what it is — two people engaging in a mutually pleasurable leisure activity — then you won’t be as likely to lose respect for someone for engaging in more of it than you do.
Furthermore, it’s important to try to root out anti-women attitudes that might be playing a role in how you see female sexuality. You can do this by no longer “subscribing to negative notions about women that degrade them to objects and less than human,” says Brito. Instead, look to “form and nurture relationships with women that are respectful and demonstrate value toward them as people and not sexual objects.” 
Reading this piece? That’s a starting point, too. 
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