Slow Sex For Women

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Slow Sex: Our Tips To Change Your Sex Life
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Slow Sex: Our Tips To Change Your Sex Life
Slow Sex: Our Tips To Change Your Sex Life


In our current fast-paced, super connected society, taking things slow is the new challenge. This has led to the rise of new currents such as slow food, or slow sex, praising the benefits of a return to slow life.
Created in the 70’s in the USA, slow sex is a way of approaching sex with a focus on taking things slow. This approach is actually inherited from Tantra’s concept of conscious sex.
In this method, the focus of sex shifts from a performance-driven activity serving the Saint-Graal called Orgasm, to an experience of two bodies and souls connecting in the present moment.
Ok, if we have lost you there, let us rephrase: slow sex gives more importance to sharing a moment with your partner by taking the time to live each moment of the intercourse, instead of serving the purpose of reaching climax.
So, slow sex is like infusing mindfulness and yogic vibes to sex. This is why, in the Tantra tradition, slow sex uses the breath, eye contact or single caress at a time to engage into intercourse with 100% presence in the moment.
That is totally normal. Think about it: we spend our days rushing through meetings, calls, insta posts, hopping on and off buses and subways, grabbing coffees on the go while doing whatever other activity!
And here we are talking about taking the time to look into your partner’s eyes for a few (loooong) minutes ! Freaking weird !
The truth is that, we are just not used to living life this way anymore. And this fast lifestyle is all over the media: when was the last time you saw a sensual scene in a movie that did not rush through the whole thing to reach orgasm in 30 seconds? Well, we have done the exercise of reminiscing here, and what we could think of was Titanic… 20 years ago.
For the pleasure of going upstream, being that single salmon swimming in the opposite direction of the herd !
Here are some (additional) reasons to try slow sex
Slow sex means and leads to being in the moment, and taking the time to connect with your partner. It can be an excellent way to re-create or maintain the bond in a relationship that would need more intimacy (hello, long-term relationships). It can be a fabulous way for long-term partners to beat the routine and create a special moment, out of time and the fast-paced everyday life.
As said previously, one principle of slow sex has everything to do with mindfulness. Meaning, you touch my partner’s face, and it is your entire being, your mind included, that are focused on this specific movement, the specific sensation of touch. You look into their eyes, and that is all you are thinking of while doing it. Mindfulness is being fully aware and present in the moment, fully dedicated to what you are currently doing. It is accepting the moment exactly as it is, without expectations and judgments.
The brain being the incredibly amazing work of art it is, the more you make it do one thing, the more it will become naturally good at it (this process is called neuroplasticity). So, you are guessing right: the more you practice mindfulness through slow sex in bed, the more your brain will naturally include mindfulness in any other activity it is managing ! Imagine drinking your daily latte while being 100% attuned to it, a whole new world opens its arms to you!
Ah, the paradox of us humans. Being entirely dedicated to the moment during sex is the best way to disconnect from thoughts and the brain’s activity. When the thinking process shuts down (or lowers down), you give more space to yourself to connect to your body, and more space for beautiful body experiences to happen. Moreover, slow sex will certainly lead you to touch your partner (or yourself) in a different way which can give you the nice surprise to discover new erogenous spots of your body !
If you have forgotten how to take things slow, here are a few tips to get you started.
How we do anything is how we do everything. The more you live experiences with a present mindset, the more slow sex will come easy to you. It can start by taking the time to eat and appreciate the food you are eating, or you can practice meditation which is an excellent way to train the brain to patience and quietness.
Especially if it is the first time you are trying slow sex, create the right environment for the experience. Choose the right place, the right moment, light candles, warm-up a bath… create a beautiful space that you will be happy to stay in for hours !
Some positions fit more to slow motion then others. So, during a slow sex session, prefer positions where you are used to taking it slow.
Sex is a beautiful part of life. So, especially when trying new things, don’t take yourself too seriously ! Talk about it to your partner, and if one of you laughs during an intense eye staring sessions, no big deal ! You can always try later and at least you will have had a good laugh!
Slow sex might not be just a fad. It actually has existed for years through the traditional practice of Tantra. It has many benefits for the body, the mind, the relationship.
But, no pressure, as not all sex should be slow sex ! Variety is the fuel of passion and sexual drive, and it seems like people mainly prefer a mix between fast and slow sex during a single session.
The only important thing really is that both partners are aligned on the pace, so that there is no one left behind 😉
By making the topics of sex and sexual pleasure more and more public, the 70s have marked a shift of perception towards sex. For women, the change has been towards autonomy when it comes to their sex lives concerning reproductive choices (hello pill!) and sexual expression.
Today, we should feel grateful to the women and men who dedicated their lives to change ours. And to be proud heiresses of the wild 70s, we should keep their legacy alive by continuing the fight, with grace and determination. To empower ourselves to be our own person. To be the queens of our bodies. To be fearless to go for what we want and know without a doubt we deserve it!
Want more of this? Get updated on our blog with sex tips and woman masturbation tips , and enjoy yourself! Treat yourself to some accessories to take time and explore your sensual self with the best vibrators for female orgasm.
Going without in order to “go within” is a concept we can see in pretty much all cultures. Purging, fasting and abstaining are human phenomenon that show up all over the world in various forms.
This week, we cover a very COMMON but TABOO practice: faking it. Even with the best vibrators for female orgasm, climaxing is not an automatism and we’re not machines.
How often do women have sex? What is a “normal” frequency to have intercourse? Do I have too much or not enough sex drive? For many people, including women, female sexuality is a big unsolved mystery.
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July 19, 2011— -- Meditation slows the heart rate, stops the brain chatter and is good for the spiritual soul. And now, at least according to one new book, it can bring women to orgasm.
Nicole Daedone, an ardent San Francisco feminist and author of "Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm," said that "in just 15 minutes, a woman can become orgasmic."
Unlike tantric sex, which she says is "radically different," slow sex uses meditation techniques like mindfulness and focusing on sensitivity and pleasure. In the book, she offers detailed drawings and variations to accommodate same-sex partners.
The woman lies still as her partner -- fully clothed and with the lights on -- "puts all of his attention" on her, according to Daedone, stroking her erogenous zone "not any more more firmly than an eyelid."
The woman concentrates "mindfully" on what she feels without the "running narrative" of to-do lists and the man focuses on pleasuring her.
When practiced three to five times a week in a technique she calls "orgasmic meditation," women can experience her version of an orgasm -- not the male model that eludes 1 in 10 women, but a slower, subtler sensuality that can create intimacy between partners and allow a woman to carry desire inside throughout her life.
"Orgasm is the body's ability to receive and respond to pleasure - pure and simple," said Daedone, 43, who had led the call for slow sex for the last decade through her One Taste organization. "Climax is often a part of orgasm, but it is not the sum total."
That does seem like a a lot of work for the man, but Daedone, who coaches couples, insists, "I never had a guy resist. Only women ask me that question."
Though some women may reach a conventional climax for the first time using orgasmic meditation, many will not, she said. But all will experience the tell-tale signs: flushed cheeks, genital swelling and contractions.
"It's not a panacea, but what I see is increased reporting of high satisfaction of life overall," said Daedone. "When a woman is turned on and genuinely happy, it is incredibly attractive to other people in the room."
Some studies, those mostly funded by the pharmaceutical industry looking for the new female Viagra, show that 40 million American women have no interest in sex.
Daedone said the problem isn't that women don't want sex, they just want a different kind of sex.
For women who are under constant pressure, caring for their families and managing careers, taking time out for self-pleasure in itself is rewarding. "But it has to be bound in a practice and for a confined period of time," Daedone said.
"It's a radical move for women to take time out, but they are making a decision to begin the step into well-being," she said.
Her own journey started as a graduate student in gender studies at San Francisco State College when Daedone asked her female students what they wanted to know about sex. Their responses astounded her; "Every single one came back, 'What's wrong with me?'"
"That stayed with me," she said. "The questions kept churning inside me."
She learned about orgasmic meditation after meeting a man at a California Zen center who offered to demonstrate slow sex.
Though Daedone had experienced plenty of conventional climaxes, she discovered that orgasmic meditation "had literally touched a hunger inside me," she said. "I had had a surface climax, but never deep into my soul."
Since then thousands have attended her workshops on the technique to experience a deeper spiritual and physical connection during sex.
Kelly Notaras, the book's editor and a slow sex practitioner herself, said the technique had been "life-changing."
"It changed the way I viewed myself," said Notaras, 35. "I thought I was not a sexual person and now I realize every woman has capacity for pleasure and sex."
Orgasmic meditation "takes the goal out of sex," she said. "There is no requirement to have a climax. The man and the woman connect in a way that is very relaxing and easy and simple for her...All she has to do is lie back and receive."
The climax is, "neither here nor there," said Notaras.
Applying the practice can keep women in a continuous state of orgasm, for months, according to the book.
"We are taking the idea of orgasm and expanding it," she said. 'Orgasm is what drives our lives. When we actually put our desire at the forefront, life becomes orgasmic."
Using "mindfulness" to elicit pleasure, is grounded in science.
Barry R. Komisaruk, a neuroscientist and associate dean of the graduate school at Rutgers University, has studied the mechanism of orgasm and said it is a powerful pain blocker.
"Using lab animals, we found that a number of different chemicals in the spinal chord and the brain all work together to block pain," he said.
He also discovered that sensation during orgasm affects multiple parts of both hemispheres of the brain, including the pleasure center.
Historically, researchers have speculated that the contractions of the uterus during orgasm help draw semen into the fallopian tubes to facilitate fertilization or that it is important for release of tension. In fact, the body releases powerful endorphins during orgasm.
In his 2006 book, "The Science of Orgasm," Komisaruk suggests "the most important one is extreme pleasure and I think it probably has an important role in mate selection."
Orgasm is "reinforcing and rewarding, he said. "Orgasm is not necessary for pregnancy. Like many biological systems, it' not essential.
His studies show that many women can achieve orgasm without any stimulation, purely by thinking. "They see erotic imagery or energy curing through their body," he said.
As for theories that orgasmic meditation that can last for months, Komisaruk said, "What Daedone calls orgasm is what most people would call pleasure and bliss; what most people call orgasm is what Daedone calls climax."

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