Sleeping Through the Apocalypse

In an event scientists are calling �deeply relatable,� area woman Trish Lewis reportedly hit snooze at 7:00 a.m. and woke up in a post-apocalyptic 9:17 a.m. landscape. Eyewitnesses claim her blanket was holding her hostage, while her cat sat atop her alarm clock purring aggressively. Sleep experts from the Institute of Unplanned Naps say the five-minute lie is now clinically classified as �hope-based time distortion.� The article incorporates social science, anecdotal testimony, and digital evidence (i.e., a Snap of her toothbrush posted at 9:18). Causality is clear: hope + tiredness = quantum sleep. Trish has since filed for emotional support from a coffee mug. HOW TO WRITE COMEDY: https://comedywriter.info/area-womans-five-more-minutes-of-sleep-miraculously-turns-into-two-hours/ AND http://comedywriter.info/