Skewered Testicles

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Skewered Testicles

Published December 14, 1999 in
Crave


... by Hank Hyena
... in the Crave section
... from December 14, 1999


All this crap, © 2022 Gettingit.com

Ten years ago, any bloke who said he was obsessed with "ball playing" would be categorizing himself as a gym rat, or perhaps a softball league addict. Words warp weirdly, as culture squeals forward. Today, a dude admitting to "ball play" devotion is undoubtedly outing himself as a gonad-gouging, scrotum-suffering nut knave. Cruelly creative body modifiers are tormenting testicles with intense neo-primitive zeal. Floppy flesh-sacks are getting skewered, burned, stretched, slapped, injected with liquids, and even slashed off!
The wrinkled "turkey wattle" bags that sequester a man's "family jewels" are densely webbed with nerve sensitivity; a swift kick to the wobblies is crippling. Sweaty vulnerability, combined with totemic status as tanks of testosterone, marks the dangling pouches as principal targets for cutting-edge S/M games.
"Show some balls" is the slang demand for an exhibition of courage; perhaps this explains why I challenged my pair when I was prepubescent. My brother Oliver and I used to maim ourselves in nutty, scorching contests -- we'd press our hairless scrotums against illuminated light bulbs until one of us surrendered. Our endurance ordeals caused second-degree burns, scabbing, and dangerous layers of tender skin-peeling.
Twenty years later, "Mistress Josephine" resurrected this memory when she twisted my testes. "Ouch!" I yelped. Gooey pain coursed out of my groin, mingling with anticipatory fear and fantasy -- another twist, I believed, would shatter my balls. Like water balloons, they'd wetly explode like volcanic zits.
Online forums exist for anyone curious about ball-brutalization -- savage tips and surgical advice are suggested, plus references to dominatrixes and masters who specialize in scrotal inquisition. Below, I've also posted several torturous recipes that can be imposed upon eager gonads:
Ball Beating: Slap, punch, and squeeze the pitiful beanbags. Viciously pull on the wispy hairs. Poke 'em sharply with pencils, or whip 'em with a miniscule cat 'o nine tails. Rubber mallets and drumsticks are also employable.
Scrotal Piercings: The "guiche" ring is inserted near the rear of the balls, by the gritty perineum (seems like you might accidentally wipe some shit on it). The "scrotum ladder" lines the tissue between the testicles with stairs of "jewelry." It would be a hassle taking all this stuff off at an airport's metal-detection station! Other piercings are the "hafada" and "trans-scrotal."
Ball Crushing: Encase the terrified sacks in wet leather; when it dries they'll be shrieking. Vice grips, rubber bands, and blood pressure cuffs can also provide squishy fun.
Scrotal Implants: Want lower-hanging balls? Just slice open your sack, and pack it with stainless steel. But beware of gangrene, and other infections.
Ball Stretchers: Another technique that develops droopy baskets. Wrap straps around the top of the scrotum -- this will force the nuggets south into the tight, anguished sack. Straps (as wide as four inches) can be Velcro, leather, or even metal -- if they're very naughty slaves. Warning: Don't block circulation.
Scrotal Infusions: For a " puff daddy " appearance, squirt your bag full of a sterilized fluid, like saline, distilled water, or diluted Lidocaine. You'll look like a blowfish, or dim sum.
Testicle Weights: Dangle fish-lead from a chain or rope wrapped around the top of the scrotum. Work your way up to three pounds. If hauling around industrial loads isn't your style, replace the cargo with a large bag of candy.
Temperature Tortures: Immerse the naughty nuts in a tiny hot tub, or scald them in a bowl of cooked rice. Alternate with ice-rubs. Electrocution is also exciting, if you're into CIA scenes.
Castration: The Vienna choir boy cut is absolutely the last inning in anyone's ball game, but many still seek this "sack-rificing" adventure . Anesthetics and a sheep, pig, goat and cattle device called the "Burdizzo clamp emasculator" make the procedure "quite painless" according to a Florida survivor named Gelding. The "Elastrator" -- also available at large-animal veterinary supply houses -- is another popular method. It's a ball-clamp that eliminates blood circulation; in six hours the deceased nuts "can be cut off without any pain or bleeding," notes Eunuch.org .
Serious caution must be maintained with any of the procedures above. Hemorrhaging, shock, and testicle rupture are the penalties inflicted upon stupid players, and careless castrati can bleed to death.
If reading this article made your shivering sack recoil high up in your loins like a cringing collie, watch out! Next time you're invited to a "ball game," ask questions before you arrive, and wear a protective jock-cup, just in case.
Hank Hyena is a columnist for SFGate.com and a frequent contributor to Salon .



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Jamie founded Listverse due to an insatiable desire to share fascinating, obscure, and bizarre facts. He has been a guest speaker on numerous national radio and television stations and is a five time published author.
The last thing any man wants to read or hear about in the news is the de-penisification of another man. Many agree that not even the Devil himself should have to go through such pain. Some of the following might have deserved what they got, while others definitely did not—but we cannot deny that they suffered horribly.
On May 24, 2012, a woman in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, was out walking with her two children, 11 and nine years old, when a man named Mkhululi Ndubeko approached her near a bar and tried to stop her. She kept walking, but Ndubeko upped the ante by removing his pants and exposing himself to her in front of her children. She called for help just as he knocked her down and jumped on top of her. Fortunately, his attempt at sexual assault backfired. He was unable to remove her underwear before she grabbed both his testicles and squeezed them until they popped .
Passersby were drawn to the screaming and separated them. Ndubeko was dragged to a police station.
On May 30, 2004, Amanda Monti (who had had various fallings-out with her boyfriend, Geoffrey Jones) got into one final argument with him at a party and, in full view of dozens of witnesses, reached into his pants and ripped his left testicle completely off. Jones collapsed, and Monti tried to swallow the testicle but gagged and spat it out. A bystander picked it up and gave it back to Jones, saying simply, “ That’s yours .”
Monti pleaded not guilty by reason of self-defense, but the judge disagreed based on her attempt to swallow the organ. She then told the court, “I am in no way a violent person.”
Yes, both of them. The husband allowed only his first name, Howard, to be published. He lived in Nicetown-Tioga, North Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and during the night of May 17, 2006, he woke to excruciating agony in his groin. His wife Monica was yanking on his scrotum until she finally tore it open and ripped his testicles completely free from his body.
Monica claimed that her husband was cheating on her, while Howard claimed his wife was bipolar. After surgery, Howard was able to make a full recovery, but when asked how bad it hurt on a scale of one to 10, he replied, “30.”
Police found a severed human penis and testicles in a man’s freezer while investigating the removal of another person’s testicle in a castration fetish act. Police and paramedics were called to a hostel one night in 2020 in Brisbane to find a 26-year-old Sydney man with his genitals partly removed.
The investigation led police to the apartment of a 27-year-old electrician. Andrew King allegedly met the victim online and had arranged to partially castrate the other man. King, not a medically trained physician of any sort, claimed he learned how to castrate through online research. When police searched his home, they uncovered a human penis and set of testicles in his freezer. Surprisingly, police reported no complaints have been made about the set of severed male human genitals , and there are no pending charges related to the discovery.
The Sydney man was taken to the hospital for surgery and recovered from the partial castration. King was charged with two counts of an act with intent to main. He was still awaiting trial as of this update; however, police believe they have identified the man whose genitals were found in the freezer by viewing footage of King’s GoPro.
On April 29, 2013, in Garden Grove, California, a married couple going through a tough time got divorced the hard way when Catherine Kieu Becker slipped Ambien into her husband’s soup. She then tied him up while he was asleep, amputated his penis with a kitchen knife, and ground the appendage up in the garbage disposal. Her husband has not been named publicly but testified in court with tears in his eyes that he would never again have a sex life and is barely able to go to the bathroom without sitting down.
Kieu pleaded not guilty, citing emotional distress inflicted by her husband over the years. Her husband, though, had demanded that they get a divorce—which Kieu apparently refused . She was found guilty on April 29, 2013, of both torture and aggravated mayhem. She was sentenced and received life in prison with the possibility of parole after seven years. As of January 2021, she has not been granted parole and is imprisoned at the Central California Women’s Facility.
In January 2011, Renato Seabra bludgeoned his lover (the somewhat coincidentally named Carlos Castro) with a wine bottle, pulled down his pants, skewered his testicles with a wine corkscrew, ripped them completely out of his scrotum, and smeared the blood all over his own body . Seabra pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity, indicating a perceived “call from God to eliminate the homosexuality from his partner.”
It is not clear whether Castro was still alive or conscious when Seabra mutilated his genitals. Seabra was sentenced to 25 years to life for the brutal murder of his lover, Carlos Castro.
Henk Heithius is the only named victim of 10 teenagers who, in the 1950s, were accused by the Dutch Roman Catholic Church of homosexuality and punished with surgical castration. Heithuis claimed two priests sexually abused him. Though the priests were convicted, Heithius was sent to a psychiatric hospital against his will and, he claims, surgically castrated under the orders of Catholic priests. Heithuis died two years later in a car accident, and the investigation into whether the castrations were carried out against the teenager’s will is ongoing.

On July 30, 2013, a 39-year-old paraplegic from Trumann, Arkansas woke up to a severe “burning pain” in his abdomen. He looked down and saw blood all over the nose of his “small, white, fluffy stray dog” (which he had recently taken in off the street) and blood trickling from his groin . The man called an ambulance and was taken to a hospital. The dog, who had removed and eaten one of the man’s testicles, was euthanized later that day.
The pain of a destroyed and severed testicle is not merely localized in the testicle but spreads upward and outward into the abdomen (following the spermatic plexus), which is why paraplegics can feel it. The man is still able to have children.
If you’ve ever wondered if rupturing a man’s testicles can kill him, the answer is “yes.” Regardless of blood loss, the intensity of the pain is so intolerable that the victim can go into shock and will die if not treated. This is what happened when an unnamed Chinese man got into an argument with a woman over a parking place in the Meilan District of Haikou City, Hainan, China. She parked her scooter and attacked the man when he began shouting at her to move. The first and only attack she employed was to grab his groin with both hands, squeeze, and yank. Witnesses heard her shout, “I’ll squeeze it to death. You’ll never have children again .”
The man collapsed and could not be revived. A medical doctor testified that the level of pain resulting from crushing both of a man’s testicles could give him a heart attack. The woman was arrested and faces the death penalty.
On April 9, 2009, Carrie McKinney, a 22-year-old mother in Loma Linda, California, was visiting her boyfriend and put her six-month-old baby in a car seat on the apartment floor. She then left the room and the baby unattended in the company of two full-grown pit bulls, who promptly ripped the boy’s diaper open and bit off his scrotum . Both dogs had blood on their muzzles when McKinney reentered the room, and both were put down not long afterward. McKinney lost custody of her son and was charged with criminal negligence. However, the charges were dropped in 2010 as the judge deemed there was no crime, only an unfortunate accident.
FlameHorse is a writer for Listverse.




By
Jessica Winters ,
October 6th 2015



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“There’s good and bad ones, I think. Really tiny ones are weird-looking. I enjoy a hefty avocado-sized sack visually, I suppose. As long as they aren’t fully covered in hair, I don’t think I mind.”
“Gross! Stinky, hairy ones are gross and smell like piss. I don’t like oily ones. The bigger they are the grosser, because the more they look like elephants, you know, with the crinkly, rough feeling? It’s more disgusting, so it turns me off the most to see big, gross balls. Big balls are gross regardless of penis size.”
“When I’m not having sex, I never think of balls. When I’m having sex, I try not to think about balls. Now that you’ve asked, this marks the first time I’ve ever thought about balls while not having sex. I hate you.”
“Ewww! No! NO! NOOOO! No balls! Once you’ve seen balls, you can’t unsee them! Even worse, once you’ve smelled them, you can never unsmell them! I hate balls so much, I can’t even watch sports!”
“They serve no pleasurable function for me—that is, during sex. But we have a fireplace in our bedroom, and sometimes when he falls asleep before I do after sex—which is, as all ladies know, EVERY time—I’ll linger down near his crotch area and watch his balls move. Did you know that balls move? Yes, they move in reaction to changes in temperature to keep sperm at just the right temp level. So his balls will verrrrrrrrry slowly move up and down and around like the giant lumps in a lava lamp.”
“On a purely academic level, testicles are more important than the penis when it comes to reproduction. The penis is just the, um, ‘delivery boy’ as it were. But sperm are created in the testicles, so the bigger a man’s testicles, the more fit he is to breed. But that’s on an academic level. On an aesthetic level, balls are ugly as shit and should be hidden from plain view at all times.”
“My boyfriend tries to stick them in both my holes down there and I hate it! He read about it somewhere online—it’s called ‘dog in a bathtub,’ and the guy tries to get both of his balls inside a girl’s vagina or her ass. I’ve never wanted to neuter a dog so much in my life.”
“They sure ain’t pretty, but if you don’t think balls are attractive, Google Image search the term ‘eunuch’ and see what guys look like without them.”
“When they’re too dangly and too wrinkly and too hairy, it really looks like a seasonally depressed woolly mammoth with cancer. Or like the world’s most reclusive rabbi. I like them clean-shaven and tiny—seriously, I’d be fine if they were the size, shape, and texture of cherry pits. Small balls rule.”
“So you’re asking about the so-called ‘potatoes’ and not the ‘meat’? Interesting question, because I’ve never really heard girls talk about balls all that much. Balls are sort of like armpits—you know they’re there, you know they’re not pleasant, but you accept them and try your best to ignore them.”
“I don’t care either way so long as you shave them and wash them. No girl enjoys flossing her teeth on some guy’s hairy stinky nutsack, believe that.”
“The only time I ever notice them is during doggy-style and they’re smacking me in the ass like the world’s gentlest spanking. I honestly think that’s why God created balls, and the whole sperm-production thing was an afterthought.”
“They give my boyfriend pleasure, so I’ll act dumb, play along, and pretend I enjoy fondling them and licking them and tugging on them and doing whatever it takes to get him past the finish line. Otherwise, I’m indifferent. Balls leave me cold. They give me no pleasure at all.”
“Testicles are staggeringly unattractive. They are, by far, the most aesthetically unappealing part of the human body, male or female. I think our creator was in a bad mood the day he created balls.”
“Shaved or hairy is better than stubbly. When you’re giving a BJ to a guy who shaved his balls a week ago, it’s like being smacked in the face with a cactus.”
“It’s part of a man’s package, so I guess I notice balls the most when I’m checking out a guy’s bulge. I think that 99 out of 100 women would agree that balls look best when there’s clothing on top of them.”
“All genitals are ugly. Seriously, testicles just look like labia that have been sewn shut and are swelling from the pain. So male genitals and female genitals both look like crime scenes to me. Sex feels great, though—so long as the lights are out.”
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The Darthside on January 12, 2007 at 8:22 pm said:


Matthieu Gagne on January 12, 2007 at 11:43 pm said:


Eva (Germany) on January 16, 2007 at 11:28 am said:


Drakmstr on May 19, 2007 at 1:43 am said:


lickingitclean2001 on August 13, 2007 at 10:30 pm said:


Davey Boy UK on November 11, 2019 at 2:59 pm said:

BME/News and Modblog highlight only a small fraction of what BME has to offer. Take our free tour and subscribe to BME for access to over 3 million body modification related photos ,
videos , and stories .
Courtesy of BME/HARD ‘s legion of daring adventurers into extreme realms of sensation and experience… The photo you see here is step eight (“drink and enjoy”). If you want to see some of the other steps and you’re of legal age, click on through.
As a point of trivia, the person in these photos is also in the ModCon book, featured with a grinning Shawn Porter . If you have the book (now out of print), you know what I’m talking about.
it’s really hard to give me the shivers, but this did it.
maybe i’m not as up on biology as i thought i was, but what exactly is the clear fluid?
Very fun, but also very risky, sadly.
No doubt, i’d be interested to know exactly what liquid is leaking there..
oh my… why on earth would you want to do that…?!
I could be wrong, correct me if I am, but the clear fluid would probably be serous fluid (random clear fluid around the body).
Yikes. It’s not every day that something makes me quesy. This is why BME rules.
Im not normally
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