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I am 32 and married with children but in serious trouble because I messed up with a young girl (18) from our estate and she is now pregnant. We became friends after I frequently gave her a lift to town then we had casual no-strings-attached sex on several occasions. She is now four months pregnant and she is asking me what she is going to tell her parents. I have tried to talk to her but she isn’t listening. I don’t love her and I can’t imagine losing my family because of this young and irresponsible girl. I think some neighbours are already suspecting something from the way they make funny statements at me and so it may just be a matter of time before this comes out. I don’t know what to do. Please advise.
Ochieng, are you calling her young and irresponsible now that she is pregnant for you? Accept that she is expectant and since she is not underage consider engaging all the concerned parties including her parents and your family. You knew you did not love her but still went ahead and slept with her. Choices have consequences. Face this problem head-on, tell your wife what you did and prepare to raise this chid.
This is a problem of your own making. I would not encourage you to ask anyone to terminate a pregnancy. People already know of the story so in case she procures abortion and she dies or something happens you shall be the first culprit. You better inform your wife and your parents of this pregnant lady and be ready to support her and her baby because it has happened after your prolonged relationship. But first wait for the birth of the child then you can do a DNA test to confirm paternity then if it turns out positive you can do what will be required of you.
How do you go terming her as irresponsible? It is interesting how you realise this only now after sleeping with her severally. A responsible man takes responsibility for his actions and that pregnancy is your responsibility. You should encourage and support her to keep that pregnancy and make sure the child is raised responsibly.
One of the best ways of dealing with adversity is to stay ahead of the information. Let your wife get the information from you before someone else gives her the 'abridged' version. Get her in her best moods, when it is the two of you, preferably, away from home. Be honest with her and together come up with how to deal with the scenario. Be very calm throughout the discussion. The girl is free to inform her parents. Finally, take the responsibility by law or laws of moral justice.
What really has woken you up from your secret doing? Is it because the girl is pregnant? Would you be feeling this repentant if she was not?
Well, this must be a time of deep regret for you and I guess you wish you could conceal all this drama. Keeping this a secret may not be possible, there is a child already involved, and it is not a solution. The best option now is for you to open up to your wife yourself before the rumour gets to her. Do not wait for her to seek an explanation from you.
When you volunteer to give the information, even your apology will sound real as opposed to waiting until she gets to know, then you appear as if you are seeking forgiveness because your private affair has been uncovered and not because you are remorseful.
We cannot tell how she will react but your conduct before now will determine the outcome. That is, if you have been good to her, she is likely to forgive you, but if your behaviour has been a pain to her, then things might be different. That is why you must be the one to disclose this matter to her.
In addition, the child’s welfare needs to be taken into consideration and this is something that the three of you need to agree on. All said and done, make an honest assessment of your relationship so that such incidents can be avoided in future. Sometimes couples slowly drift apart without their knowledge. It is only episodes like this that jerks them to reality. Therefore make every necessary changes that you may have to. Together you can turn and get this relationship back on course and thriving.
(Hilda Boke Mahare has a background in Counselling Psychology)
Ochieng, I more or less understand the situation you are in but I am not sure about what sort of ending you are anticipating through this. Picking from your words you say she is asking you about what to tell her parents but on the other hand you are talking to her and she is not listening? We shall get back to this later but it is somewhat a paradox.
Essentially, I have my fingers crossed that she is actually 18 as you say because anything lower than this can actually turn out to be disastrous for you. If he is indeed 18 the problems are still enormous but of a different nature. If my imagination serves me right, you are trying to get her to sort this matter once and for all through a termination. If this be the case then she is doing the right thing by not listening to you and it is actually very unfair of you to think of putting her life at risk all for your convenience. If she is pregnant with your child I encourage you to deal with the matter as is and not consider unreasonable shortcuts that only work well for you.
I am also surprised that you term her an irresponsible girl but do remember that you repeatedly had sexual relations with her so you are just as irresponsible if not more. This is something you will have to deal with for the rest of your life and with such matters the key is coming out clean on this. Yes, it will have repercussions on you and all the families that are involved in this. There is no other way to dealing with such matters. Come clean and take whatever responsibility that may come from this. You may not need to marry her but as far as the child is concerned, you ought to take your rightful share of responsibilities and support them. Yes, this will impact heavily on your family but since there is no other way to go about this you will have to bear the brunt. On their part, they will need to come to terms with this and learn to live with it. The alternative is to move from that neighbourhood and deal with this secretly for as long as it will be possible.
{Simon Anyona is a relationships counsellor}
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"No this is not a girls gone wild campaign," the singer joked as she stripped down to her bikini bottoms and went topless on a beach.
The "Isn't It Romantic" star revealed in June that she was dating the fashion designer while simultaneously coming out as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community.
The model returned the favor, reacting to an Instagram photo of the athlete playing baseball after news broke that their two-year relationship is over.
"I have everything I need, and yet I know there is so much more to come," the "Dancing With the Stars" pro wrote while celebrating her 37th birthday.
We're talking body: Lo shared a seriously stylish — and briefly shocking — mirror selfie in a trompe l'oeil top printed with a pair of nude breasts.
The former "Teen Mom" star continued to blast the guitarist on social media after he publicly stated he "never agreed" to be in a relationship with her.
The "Riverdale" star, 29, shared a photo of his full moon — edited to a much larger size than usual. "Good morning to my publicity team," he joked.
The actress' athlete husband snapped the sexy photo while enjoying a romantic day together at the Rancho Valencia Resort & Spa in Rancho Santa Fe, Calif.
The "Younger" actress is coming clean about what it was really like stripping down for Women's Health.
The singer and her fiancé, Sam Asghari, revealed last weekend that she had suffered a miscarriage, writing, "This is a devastating time for any parent."
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You have gotten home early from school and hear some strange noises coming from your mom's room. As you look through the cracked open door you see one of your friends on top of your mom, convulsing in orgasm inside her! He stands up and you see your mom pussy soaking wet from all of the cum smeared all over her pussy. Your friend quickly leaves and you watch her playing gently and happily with her wet pussy. She notices you and you enter the room. She tries to explain, describing her need for sex, for cum inside her. It excites you when she tells you that all of your friends fuck her, most of the football team was there, cumming inside her today. This has made your cock start to grow, and you ask her if it's ok that you like thinking about their cum inside her. "Of course that's ok honey! You should never feel bad about liking cum too!"
She spreads open her legs to show you her soaking wet pussy, dipping her fingers inside and spreading her beautiful pussy lips, while rubbing her toes on your shorts against your obvious erection. She then takes out her big soft breasts and guides your had to touch her nipples. She pulls out your cak and begins stroking it, lubing it up with your the wetness from her pussy, and then sucks it clean before offering to bend over and let you enter her. You can't help but plunge your cock deep inside her and look down at her perfect asshole in complete shock at what is happening. She says we can do this all the time. She flips onto her back and tells you she wants to feel your hot cum shooting inside her and moments later you unload your swollen balls like never before inside the only woman you have ever truly loved! Her face is a picture of joy as you pull out and she feels it drip[ping out of her pussy and across her asshole, you watch your cum travel in beautiful HD from her pussy to the bed..........Mandy Flores
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When I opened the pretty pink box with the word “Womanizer” on the side, I was like, “Aw, what a cute vibrator! ” I mean, it was pink and had roses on it and even a big Swarovski crystal. It was about the size of a computer mouse, and it seemed so lovely, innocent even.
I did a quick skim of the directions: nothing complicated. Just put the little end thing on your clitoris and play with the settings. I lay down to give the Womanizer a try
… and, when I finished, I almost passed out. I thought about shouting downstairs to my husband, “Call the police! This thing should be illegal!” Instead, I t exted all of my girlfriends and told them I’d found the end-all, be-all of female sex toys .
I got on the phone with Womanizer spokesperson Morgan Rossi, and I think she understood most of what I was saying, in between my hysterical vibrator worship. Apparently, the Womanizer was invented in Germany by Michael Lenke, tinkerer and generally brilliant dude. Always the inventor, he never really delved into the sex market until wrapping his head around a “pleasure air” idea, without really knowing what application it would have. He and his wife figured it out after, I assume, much hands-on experimentation. (Lucky wife.)
So what’s the deal? How does a contraption that looks like a computer mouse leave me screaming and half-conscious? Here’s your tech lesson of the day…
“There are lots of clitoral stimulators out there,” Rossi said, “but there’s the problem of numbing, desensitization and over-stimulation. A huge amount of vagina-owners can’t use that direct stimulation. It’s just too much. With the Womanizer’s pleasure air technology, it’s so gentle, so effective and ultimately, it’s kind of touchless. Air flow and air pressure are doing all the stimulation.”
She continued, “If you were to crack open our product, you would see all these little chambers. What they’re doing is pulling in air and blowing air out simultaneously. That’s what you’re feeling, almost a pulling sensation. It’s not actually coming into contact with the clitoris or rubbing it. It’s the air flow that creates the sensation.”
See? When I was joking with my girlfriends about the Womanizer being a clit vacuum , I wasn’t completely joking. Let’s face it: Many people with vaginas can’t get off without clitoral stimulation. Sex feels good, but intercourse isn’t always great. The Womanizer bypasses this problem by focusing solely on the clitoris , and the effects are astounding.
Rossi said, “I’ve heard of many women writing to us, letting us know that for some of them, it’s the first time they’ve had an orgasm. They’ve never found a product or partner who can deliver quite like this.”
That said, Rossi was clear: The people at epi24 are not trying to make men obsolete in the bedroom. The Womanizer can easily be used with a partner, as well. She said, “Just because a woman could achieve an orgasm in less than sixty seconds with the Womanizer doesn’t mean you have to.”
(Pause in awe of a product that’ll make you orgasm in 60 seconds and leave your whole body twitching.)
“You can use this product on the clitoris to warm up,” Rossi said. “It doesn’t have to be on the clit. You can use it on nipples, too. By no means is it limited to ‘gotta get to work, get in, get out, quick orgasm.’ It can certainly be integrated into couple’s play,” as evidenced by some very helpful sexual position suggestions on the Womanizer website.
So are we calling this a miracle product? No. OK, maybe. I mean, listen to this testimonial, one of Rossi’s favorites about the Womanizer: “A woman who had gone through chemotherapy got in touch. She said through all of her treatments, her libido was down. She didn’t feel like having sex. She’d tried other products really to no effect. Nothing was working. She came upon the Womanizer, and she felt the need to contact us because she hadn’t had that pleasure in six years, and it brought her to tears.”
The look of the product is actually one of spokesperson Rossi’s favorite things. She said, “I have to hand it to the designers. It’s so innocuous. It’s very approachable. Aside from the amazing technology and effectiveness of the product, I do love the design.”
This can be important for women especially when, say, traveling through airline security, but also for people who’ve never owned a vibrator before . Thankfully, we’ve moved past the huge penis shapes of old. As Rossi pointed out, “ Vibrators have been changing over the years: less and less of those phallic vibrators and more things that are aesthetically pleasing. The Womanizer is not intended to be an affront in any way. It’s something you can feel comfortable owning and not embarrassed about.”
For me, sex toys are never embarrassing , so I don’t have such a high interest in aesthetics — I want a vibrator that’s going to get the job done.
But for people who want a very pretty toy that also meets my criteria, I can’t tell you enough that the Womanizer gets the job done .
A version of this story was published June 2016.
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