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FORMING a friendly relationship with your in-laws can either be smooth sailing, or a bumpy ride - and it may even drive a wedge between you and your partner. 
Unfortunately for one woman, who is living with her husband and sister-in-law, she is experiencing exactly just this. 
It comes after the sister-in-law asking her husband to pay money towards her wedding - despite living with the couple rent free.
The anonymous user, whose username is Intelligent_Rub4510 , explained that she and her husband (who she calls Tom) share a home with her sister-in-law and her fiancée after they lost their jobs during the pandemic.
Initially it was only supposed to be for a month, but a year later the couple show no signs of moving out.
The woman took to Reddit to explain, writing: "Tom has gotten a new job that doesn't nearly pay as much as his old one.
"We have tried to convince SIL to get a job or help around the house but she insisted that the stress of Covid as made her unfit to work and Tom agrees and refuses to make her get a job even though his job doesn't let him make enough for them to a get an apartment in the near future
"Recently SIL and Tom started planning their wedding and had the nerve to ask us to help fund an expensive wedding on a beach in a foreign country.
"This happened while I was preparing to kick them out.
"This isn't the first time something like this has happened.
"Most of my husband's family doesn't have high paying jobs and asking me (the high earner of the family) to pay for stuff has been an ongoing thing."
In the post, the anonymous woman explained that she refused to pay for the wedding and told the couple they'd need to pay for the wedding themselves.
Despite her refusal, the woman's husband and Tom tried to convince her to pay for the occasion, while her sister-in-law "stormed out of the house" when she said no.
She continues: "[She] has been complaining about me to anyone who would listen.
"My husband has always been the one insisting on keeping them around every time I bring up kicking them out.
"But now I feel like he has pushed it too far this time.
“So now the family is divided in half with most of my relatives taking my SIL's side And I am being attacked online my SIL's friends and close family.
"Me and my husband are giving each other the silent treatment over this."
The post has since gone viral, with many people rushing to the comments section to share their opinions.
One wrote: "What is wrong with these people? Why would your husband be okay with this? Does he not see your financial success and stress as his own?
"I get wanting to help family by not letting them go homeless…but a wedding isn’t an immediate need.
"It’s a luxury. And aren’t parents usually the ones expected to foot the bill if any family does?
I get wanting to help family by not letting them go homeless…but a wedding isn’t an immediate need
"Idk [I don't know], my family would never, but I’ve heard from other people that’s supposed to be a common practice."
Another added: "If you don't have kids with your husband you may want to consider breaking it all off. 
“This type of behaviour isn't going to stop it seems and you may grow to despise these people. 
“Don't normally jump to suggesting divorce but right now as you have described it, you are an ATM for that family. Don't feel guilty for being successful and a hard worker."
While a third commented: "Absolutely not. They sound ridiculous. If they don't even have their own place they don't need to be getting married yet.
"What's the plan? Get married then come back to live in your house? Give them the boot girl."
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'My sister-in-law lives with me for free - now she's demanding I pay for her wedding'
Image: Getty Images/Tetra images RF)
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A woman has vented her frustration at her husband and his family, after she came under fire for refusing to contribute to her sister-in-law's wedding day as she already lives with them rent-free
Relationships with in-laws can often go one of two ways, they either become an adoptive family who are supportive, kind and an extension of your loved ones.
Or, in worst-case scenarios, they drive a wedge between you and your partner with their interfering, pot-stirring and unreasonable demands.
Unfortunately for one woman, she's experienced the latter with her sister-in-law asking her and her husband to contribute to their wedding – despite living with the couple for free.
The anonymous user, whose username is Intelligent_Rub4510 , explained that she and her husband (who she calls Tom) share a home with her sister-in-law and her fiancée after they lost their jobs during the pandemic.
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The pair initially promised it would just be for a month, but it's been a year and the couple show no signs of moving out.
The woman took to Reddit to explain her dilemma, writing: "Tom has gotten a new job that doesn't nearly pay as much as his old one.
"We have tried to convince SIL to get a job or help around the house but she insisted that the stress of Covid as made her unfit to work and Tom agrees and refuses to make her get a job even though his job doesn't let him make enough for them to a get an apartment in the near future
"Recently SIL and Tom started planning their wedding and had the nerve to ask us to help fund an expensive wedding in a beach in a foreign country. This happened while I was preparing to kick them out.
"This isn't the first time something like this has happened most of my husband's family doesn't have high paying jobs and asking me (the high earner of the family) to pay for stuff has been an ongoing thing."
The woman said she refused to pay for the wedding and told the couple they'd need to pay for the expensive wedding themselves.
Despite her refusal, the woman's husband and Tom tried to convince her to pay for the occasion, while her sister-in-law "stormed out of the house" when she said no.
She continues: "[She] has been complaining about me to anyone who would listen.
"My husband has always been the one insisting on keeping them around every time I bring up kicking them out. But now I feel like he has pushed it too far this time.
"So now the family is divided in half with most of my relatives taking my SIL's side And I am being attacked online my SIL's friends and close family. Me and my husband are giving each other the silent treatment over this."
The post has since gone viral and garnered over 150 comments on the forum.
A user said: "What is wrong with these people? Why would your husband be okay with this? Does he not see your financial success and stress as his own?
"I get wanting to help family by not letting them go homeless…but a wedding isn’t an immediate need. It’s a luxury. And aren’t parents usually the ones expected to foot the bill if any family does? Idk, my family would never, but I’ve heard from other people that’s supposed to be a common practice."
Another echoed their sentiments, writing: "If you don't have kids with your husband you may want to consider breaking it all off. This type of behaviour isn't going to stop it seems and you may grow to despise these people. Don't normally jump to suggesting divorce but right now as you have described it, you are an ATM for that family. Don feel guilty for being successful and a hard worker."
While a third commented: "Absolutely not. They sound ridiculous. If they don't even have their own place they don't need to be getting married yet. What's the plan? Get married then come back to live in your house? Give them the boot girl."
What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
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DEAR DEIDRE My wife has left me for our son's headteacher and the whole town are talking
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DEAR DEIDRE: THE two people I’m closest to in the world have done the dirty on me.
I’ve just discovered that my husband is cheating on me with my own sister.
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It’s such a huge shock, I’m feeling totally humiliated and can’t get myself out of bed.
I’m 37 and have been married to my husband, who is 39, for nine years. We have a son aged six.
My sister is two years younger than me, and I have always seen her as my best friend.
After I had a difficult birth, I stopped enjoying sex with my husband.
In the end it became a chore and we stopped altogether.
We’ve now been celibate for three years.
He assured me that it wasn’t a problem, saying he wasn’t a teenager any more, and that he didn’t need it.
He was clearly lying. My sister knows all about our sex life — or lack of it — because I confided in her.
She is single, and has been for years. She told me she had sworn off men after her ex cheated on her.
Then by sheer accident I found out they were sleeping together. My husband works away a lot and said he had a business trip.
Hours after he went, our oven packed up.
I needed to make a cake for a bake sale at my son’s school, so I called my sister to ask if I could use hers, but she didn’t pick up.
So I drove to her house and when she didn’t answer, I let myself in using my spare key.
But in the kitchen, I heard footsteps and voices from above, then my husband came down the stairs — totally naked.
I screamed in shock and he froze. Then my sister rushed down too, wearing just a robe.
It was obvious they’d just had sex. Neither of them could think of a reasonable explanation.
Hysterical, I ran out of the house, with my sister chasing after me, saying sorry.
I haven’t spoken to her since, and I’ve told my husband to pack his bags.
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I feel utterly betrayed and alone, with nobody to turn to.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s the ultimate betrayal and must be unbearably painful.
I know you don’t want to talk to either of them, understandably, but sooner or later you need to, when you’re ready, for your own sake and your son’s.
You need to understand how this happened and express your anger and pain, or it will overwhelm you.
Take your time to decide what you want to do with them both – whether you want to repair those relationships or need a clean break.
Talking to a counsellor will help, and my support pack about this tells you more, while my pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It? will help too.
If your husband wasn’t happy with your sexless relationship, he should have been honest with you.
But for now, you need to find a way forward, for your son’s sake.
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