Sissy Small Penis

Sissy Small Penis
DEAR DEIDRE I spent £12,000 on my girlfriend before I realised money was all she wanted
DRIVING ME MAD My boyfriend has no drive or ambition - should I dump him?
WARNING SIGN My son lost his temper and ended up in prison - I'm worried about him
WEIGHING HEAVY My boyfriend let slip he wants me to be skinner and now I'm insecure
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM 25 and embarrassed by my small penis. Even a nurse laughed at it recently.
It has always been small. As a teenager, my parents convinced me I was just a late bloomer.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Or private message us via the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
We change all personal details in our published stories to protect your identity.
But it still only measures two inches.
Luckily it is almost seven inches when I’m aroused. However, I rarely get hard.
Last month during a full health check for work I took off my boxer shorts and am sure I heard the nurse snigger.
I have seen the disappointment in my ex-girlfriends’ faces when they realise that’s all I have.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your nurse was probably laughing at something unconnected, but not explaining herself was unprofessional and bound to make you anxious.
Remember that when you’re nervous or cold, your penis shrinks upwards and presses itself close against the body.
And the norm is actually two inches, and just over five when erect.
If you are struggling to get an erection, speak to your doctor. They will be able to check there is no underlying reason.
My pack Solving Erection Problems might help too.
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My husband has a small penis. There, I've said it. We have an active sex life, and he is really good with his hands, so he thinks that as long as he's giving me orgasms his size doesn't matter — but it's starting to. For me, orgasms aren't everything. Sometimes it's difficult to feel him, and I like a sensation of fullness. I don't know how to tell him this for fear of crushing him.
For the love of God, don't tell him! No, no, no, there's no reason to bring that up.
We're gonna work this out, but you have to promise not to criticize your husband's meager member. I mean ever. If you think the thing works poorly now, imagine what it would do if the words "difficult to feel you" were to ever tumble carelessly from your mouth.
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that if you're comfortable talking orgasms and, er, fullness with a stranger and thousands of readers, you're no staunch traditionalist, so... Have you considered trying toys in the boudoir? Tell your fella you're fantasizing about spicing things up, and ask him to join you in purchasing some pleasure-prompting playthings. Choose a mix of girthy gadgets for yourself and glovey gizmos for him, too (hey, you have to assume it's difficult for him to feel you, too). Add in some feathered, flavored, or fur-lined fun to throw him off the "you have a small penis" scent.
Fullness you can buy. But a man that you love, who is manually dexterous and makes a regular point of pleasuring you? That's no small thing.
My brother moved across the country 30 years ago and, through some luck and a lowering of ethical standards, ended up as a multi-millionaire. Separately, my mother had been abusive to me and my family over the years, and it got so bad that I couldn't bring myself to see her anymore. So she finally moved to live near my brother, and now claims to be broke. She refused to co-sign for my daughter's college loan for one of the most expensive schools in the country, and sent her a high-school graduation gift almost a year late because she supposedly didn't have any money. My wife and I are barely scraping by. We have never experienced so much stress in our lives working endless hours to pay for my daughter's school. I received an email from my brother telling me my mother broke her hip because a guy ran into her with his car. I replied that maybe she should sue him to get some money since she was too broke to send a card to my daughter. My brother said he and his wife would like to visit my wife and I. I didn't respond and don't plan on seeing any of them ever again in my life, and do not plan to attend my mother's funeral. What do you think?
What do I think? I think you're an angry, confused dude who isn't qualified to be be doling out "ethical" and "abusive" labels from on high.
Few would fault you for ejecting an abusive mother from your life. But you've also lost the right to expect anything from her in return (and why would you want it?).
Working hard to send your daughter to a pricey school doesn't make you a martyr. In fact, it makes you exactly like your brother: a guy who made a financial choice that others in his family feel no obligation to support.
Re-read your response to your mother's injury and see if it doesn't strike you as astoundingly petty. Since living far away from your family and plotting never to see them again doesn't seem to be making you any less resentful, try a different tack. Do you know what feels better than lugging around an ugly grudge for your family's failings? Being the person you wish they were.
Earn your income with integrity. Shake the sofa cushions for loose change to buy your mother a get-well card — and send it before the year is up. Then let your brother come visit and see if you can connect over your common history, rather than your disparate bank accounts.
When you see your family as dollar signs, you're all the poorer for it.
Send me your dilemmas via email: ToughLove@TheWeek.com . And follow me on Twitter: @ToughLoveAdvice .
The Week™ is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site at https://futureplc.com The Week™ is a registered trade mark. © Future US LLC, 10th floor, 1100 13th Street NW, Washington, DC 20005. All rights reserved.

Bushwick Daily

Bushwick Daily

“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started
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“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started. And it seems that the distinction between the two is what makes Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Pageant what it is: a little joke with a lot of pride.

This was the third year for Brooklyn’s most idiosyncratic and irreverent pageant, and based on the crowd that was lining up to pay $10 to see some small dick (when a few probably could have just stayed home and looked in a mirror), it was an outstanding success.

Once again, Kings County Saloon was selling “Penis Coladas” with plastic dick straws to the 100+ crowd of mostly women, many of who seemed pretty eager to be close to the stage when the little fellers made their big debut. When resident drag Queen Chicken Bitches , dressed in her finest, most sparkly and cumbersome Jedi attire (this year was Star Wars themed), asked the audience if they were here to hate or celebrate, they exuberantly shouted, “celebrate!”

Seriously, why doesn’t every bar in Brooklyn have a resident drag Queen? There are certainly enough of them living here. The only answer that I can come up with is that every bar owner and manager in the borough are well aware that no Queen can MC like the witty, cheeky and downright hysterical Chicken Bitches.

After Chicken Bitches warmed up the crowd, out came the competitors in see-through tuxedo-speedos. Two of them were returning for a second shot at the crown, a Mr. Rip Van Dinkle and The Puzzlemaster. The former won the first pageant, whereas the latter was a close runner-up last year . The other contestants, a well-tatted and rotund Chino Loco, the shy and endearing Gentleman and the Tecate-wielding Cromwell all seemed to have a shot at the title when the show started, but after the introductions and pageant walks, it seemed like the bout could only favor one man: The Puzzlemaster.

From the start he brought a flair and confidence that the other contestants struggled to deliver. He had a handful of jokes (last year he lost only by the “smallest margin”), and went all out during the cocksplash segment, when one lucky young woman was invited onstage to spray the dancing contestants with a squirt gun. I knew better from last year than to get too close to the stage. The Puzzlemaster also killed it with a Shirley Bassey cover renamed, “Golddinger.”

So when the Puzzlemaster was crowned and handed the scepter (a toy light-saber tipped with a plastic dick) along with $500 in cash, few people could be surprised. True, The Gentleman delivered a heartfelt poem that made the ladies in the crowd swoon, Chino Loco presented a hilarious and deeply traumatizing striptease in a Stormtrooper outfit, Rip Van Dinkle dropped a poorly timed but amusing rap, and Cromwell killed it with a Braveheart-level rousing speech about orgies in America, but nobody delivered the sincerity and cocksured-ness of The Puzzlemaster.

Confidence, it seems, is truly the key to winning the hearts of Ameri- er- Brooklyn.

I’m much smaller than the winner! Soft 0cm, hard 2cm!

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