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I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves.
I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY!
Wow...some of you act as though you know all about her relationship from just a paragraph enough to make such hard judgments about her.
I know the misery and loneliness of being with someone that bores you to tears. It is a very, very lonely existence.
It's possible the passion is gone and she's no longer in love with him.
I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY!
I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY!
I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY!
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By
loridori, October 27, 2008 in Marriage and Life Partnerships

I have a problem with my husband of 9 years. He's a computer nerd(he works in the field) and yes he does support his family well, but his nerdy ways have been getting on my nerves. He walks like a sissy, has gone bald despite my 12 month supply of rogaine i purchased for him several christmases ago that he did not use, and is not very social. It was ok in the beginning but he appears to have never grown up and I don't feel secure with a sissy any longer. No, I cannot leave him because I am a full-time parent raising our 3 children, but I would like some pointers on how to create more of a man out of him. TY!
Sadly, he has a problem with you, but I wonder if he realizes it.

Why cannot you accept him for who he is?

Men go bald. And BTW Rogaine does not always work real well for bringing back hair.

The point is....he is who he is. You are who you are. Love goes much deeper than lucks if it is true love.

IMO , your "problem" is greater than "husband is a sissy."

You have no respect for him. And if he did everything you asked, I doubt you would still have more respect, because then you would feel that he is still a wimp because he did not stand up to you.

I suggest marriage counseling...not Rogaine.
maybe he's not so much a sissy as you are ___________? Fill in the blank with any noun of your choice that is opposite of sissy ... the problem may not be so much him as it is your outlook on things.
If you have lost respect for him, maybe it's time to let him go.

In American culture, if men don't act like pigs they're considered girly or gay. If you bought into that, maybe it's time to dump this guy and go get yourself a lumberjack or someone who meets your standards of manliness. Meanwhile, there are lots of women who don't like knuckle-dragging cretins. Your hubby deserves someone who appreciates him.

My husband is a "sissy" by lots of people's standards - he is small, thin, neat, dresses well, is always perfectly groomed even when he's casual, and he smells nice. He doesn't act or walk like a neanderthal and he is soft-spoken. I have had people tell me that they think he's gay. Just because a guy doesn't act like a creep and doesn't smell like a goat, doesn't mean he's gay. And, I can't tell you how little I think of other me who insist to me that he's gay (usually while trying to pick me up).

Anyway, I adore him. I like the way extends his little pinky when he drinks. I like being with someone civilized who shows a little class.

Well, I hate to play devils advocate, but I'm afraid i know exactly what loridori means...

My ex was an office Products technician for a very well known company (think 'Hal' in 2001 - a space odyssey....? ) and progressed up the ladder to senior systems consultant in a matter of 5 to 6 years.... When i first met him, he was obviously a tecchie, and a bit anal about it, but ok, he was fun, had a good SOH and knew how to let his hair down.

As the job progressed, and he took on a more technology-Computing oriented role, he became more and more 'narrow'.... his dress sense stayed exactly the same for nearly 20 years, and frankly, he remained stuck in a rut....he became more and more boring, set in his ways, and lost his sense of humour....

I don't know if it comes with the territory, but his colleagues were the same.... during company occasions, it was amazing how many of the wives complained of how boring their husbands were!!
What are you doing to spice things up? Have you talked to him about how you feel? Have you tried to reconnect with him by dropping the kids off at their grandparents house for a weekend, so you two can go away somewhere? Have a romantic time together?

Anyway, you have 3 kids to think about, so maybe it's time to seek some marriage counselling.
(he's) neat, dresses well, is always perfectly groomed even when he's casual, and he smells nice.

zolar, you wanna bring your fella around sometime to give mine pointers? I love my husband to death, but he often gets stuck in hillbilly mode – to a point where I avoid hugs because he's just too stinky
I am going to get shot for saying this (generalizing). Since you are a SAHM with three kids, I very much doubt you are all that interesting to him (a career guy). Who do you want him to socialize with exactly?

Maybe he is boring because you don't understand tech talk?
Make him watch Rocky and punch him at random times.
Men marry expecting things to stay the same, and are disappointed when they change. Women marry expecting things to change, and are disappointed when they stay the same.

Men are not fixer uppers and women change after marriage. If everyone would understand this, the divorce rate would probably plummet.

I've got an idea. Why don't you both get a gym membership and lift weights together? Maybe get involved in a gun club or do some martial arts together? That will infuse some good old american testosterone into things!

It's not the job, it's just his personality. It may change a little if you pressure it, but it's not likely to change much. Try acceptance and communication of your expectations.

Men are not fixer uppers and women change after marriage. If everyone would understand this, the divorce rate would probably plummet.

I agree. Loridori, I'm going to assume that during your dating and courtship he didn't wear steel-toed boots, drink Boilermakers and attend mixed martial arts matches. So why was he OK then - and in fact marriage material - and not OK now ??? Has he changed?
Let me get this straight. He supports his family, treats you well, is good to his kids, but he went bald and isn't obnoxious to you.

You're right. You and he should part. He deserves a woman that respects him. Calling your husband a sissy for being an honorable husband and father?

If thoughts of leaving him are in your mind, why do you care about making a man out of him?

Maybe he can go get a hair transplant, start working out.

Then if he's smart, he'll leave you.
Wow...some of you act as though you know all about her relationship from just a paragraph enough to make such hard judgments about her.

I know the misery and loneliness of being with someone that bores you to tears. It is a very, very lonely existence.

I'm just wondering was he always like this? The OP deserves to be happy. It's possible the passion is gone and she's no longer in love with him. He may be taking her for granted thinking she's always going to be around.

Well lets see. Looks like his worst crime is being a computer geek and he is going bald, and she has thought about leaving him.

So you let that person go, since they obviously don't deserve to be seen in that kind of light and treated in a similar manner.

Of course the passion and love is gone. he lost his hair:rolleyes:

I'm just wondering was he always like this? The OP deserves to be happy. It's possible the passion is gone and she's no longer in love with him. He may be taking her for granted thinking she's always going to be around.

Sure, she deserves to be happy, but she bases her disrespect of her husband on some pretty strange reasoning.

1. He won't use rogain, goes bald. bad man.

2. makes a living using a computer. wimp!

What if it were a man writing saying he wanted his wife to get a boob job because the girls need a lift and could be bigger like, you know, a real woman?

Or what if a man wrote of how masculine his wife is because she works as a firefighter?

What it comes down to is that she is picking at what her husband is because she is bored and wants an excuse for doing something selfish or divorcing.

Get it for him and tell him if he doesn't read it, no sex
He was like this when you met him, yes? And now you want him to change. Not going to happen. Accept him or move on.

I would suggest doing some new and novel things together to bring out different facets of his personality. I am somewhat drawn to SLIGHTLY nerdy guys (I always have this idea that there's a bubbling inferno of passion under the modest exterior, and I want to bring it out ), but I love science and love to talk about it.

Do you have any interest in pop physics? Try reading something like A Brief History of Time and having a discussion with him about it. You might unleash some crazy fun part of him. It worked for me with the one non-musician boyfriend I had, an aerospace engineer. Of course, I never found him boring. But nothing lit him up like a Christmas tree more than talking shop with him.

Man, I've met some women in those kinds of careers that are hella fun!

1. He won't use rogain, goes bald. bad man.

2. makes a living using a computer. wimp!

What if it were a man writing saying he wanted his wife to get a boob job because the girls need a lift and could be bigger like, you know, a real woman?

Or what if a man wrote of how masculine his wife is because she works as a firefighter?

What it comes down to is that she is picking at what her husband is because she is bored and wants an excuse for doing something selfish or divorcing.

If the situation was turned around, eg:

"My wife has gotten fat after having three kids and doesn't do the dishes. I want a divorce!!!"

…a man would be crucified for saying such nonsense.

She needs to simply give him the book I suggested and sit him down and tell him what's bothering her. Also, there's no guarantee using Rogain would have stopped the hair loss. Maybe he's just OK with being bald? There's nothing wrong with that.

Did you guys ever appear on Jerry Springer?

What channel does that come on again??

Keep this attitude up and sooner or later someone will come along that finds him adorable just the way he IS.
Please, tell me this is a joke. No one can be that unevolved, insensitive or superficial. Well, there is my ex, of course.
Without reading the interceding posts, my instinct is that your path is one of acceptance. Accepting someone is a basic part of any relationship. His intrinsic personality (and his genetic predisposition to lose his hair) are not likely to change. He can change some behaviors if he wants to.

If you can't accept him, divorce him. You both deserve better.

My wife often said in MC that she wishes I were a "normal" guy. This is where I learned about acceptance

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Lightblue uniform with white apron.
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A new secured uniform for sissy maid Daniela.
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A new secured uniform for sissy maid Daniela.
Another cornertime for Daniela. A naughty sissyboy. What should we do with him?
Another cornertime for Daniela. A naughty sissyboy. What should we do with him?
43 years old and still got to stand in the corner, naughty sissy boy!!! Maybe the following spanking will help him.
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« on: August 17, 2016, 07:17:26 AM »
Let me start off by telling you that I am a 35 year old male. I am very small for a man in all areas. I am 5 foot four inches tall and weigh 130 lbs. My wife is 6 foot tall and weighs about 225. My wife discovered how much stronger she was then I was soon after we got married. We were having an argument one night, when she told me that the matter was closed. I told her she was full of shit, and started to say somthing eles, when she grabbed me and threw me across her lap.I tried to get free from her but she was just to strong. Once my wife saw that I could do nothing about my situation, she told me that she was going to have to spank me for sassing her. She very easily held me down on her lap with just one hand and began to spank me very hardly. I started to cry and sob as she beat my rear end. As she spanked me, she told me what a big sissy cry baby I was.She spanked me so hard that it made me wet my pants. Then after she was through spanking me, she held me by my wrist very tightly, as she scolded me for being such a bad sissy for sassing her and wetting my pants. Then she said, Lets get my sweet sissy out off his wet britches, as she led me up to our bedroom.She must have had all of this planned in advance. Next she laid me down on the bed and took off all of my clothes. I could tell that my wife had all this planned in advance, After she had laid me down on our bed and taken all my clothes off of me, she reached under the bed and pulled out this diaper bag. I tried to ask her what was going on, but she took a pacifier out of the diaper bag and shoved it into my mouth. Then she told me that if I took it out of my mouth, she would spank me twice as hard as before. I was still crying from her last spanking, so I did what she said and just laid there like a good little sissybaby. Next she took out some cloth diapers and folded them, and lifted me by my ankles and slid the diapers under me. Then she took out some baby powder, and sprinkled it alll over me and pulled the diaper up between my legs and pinned it snuggly in place. The whole time she was diapering me, she talked baby talk to me. Then she pulled out some pink plastic pants and put them on me over my diapers. After she had tucked the diapers into my plastic pants and was satisfied that the plastic pants would not leak, she told me that the baby was all ready. Now my sissybaby can wet himself when ever he wants to she told me as she laughed at me. I felt really rediculas, laying on our bed wearing thick bulky diapers and pink plastic pants suc-king on a little pink pacifier. Next my wife reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a small bottle of red finger nail polish. She very carefully painted my finger nails and toe nails red. Then my wife asked me to sit up so she could do something with my hair. She brushed it into a pony tail and tied it in place with a big pink ribbon, tying the end into a big bow. Next she got her perfume and sprayed it all over me. I want my sissybaby to smell sweet she told me as she sprayed it on me. Then she went over to the closet and took out a bag. I have some presents for my baby she told me as she dumped the bags contents
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