Shy Teens And Old
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my 14 year old daughter is so shy !
i have a lovely kind teenage daughter who is so shy ! and she came home tonight so upset crying saying she has no friends ! she never sees any one after school ! no one ever calls for her ! it upsets here when she hears girls in her class makeing plans as they dont ask her . she loves reading books and moto gp !
My 14 year old is in Guiding and is quite popular in the Unit. When she started as a Rainbow, she knew nobody as we had just moved to area, she did Brownies and is now at Guides and loves it. In all the years she has done this I think only 5 girls from her school have ever done Guiding, so my daughter had to meet girls from other schools, which is a great thing:)....If your daughter isn't into the Guide thing there is always Scouting which is boys and girls:)
Oh as I type my daughter is home on the sofa on her blackberry...she's changed since getting that for her birthday with all the bbm'ing lol before that she was a bit out of touch with everyone too:)
My 14 year old is in Guiding and is quite popular in the Unit. When she started as a Rainbow, she knew nobody as we had just moved to area, she did Brownies and is now at Guides and loves it. In all the years she has done this I think only 5 girls from her school have ever done Guiding, so my daughter had to meet girls from other schools, which is a great thing:)....If your daughter isn't into the Guide thing there is always Scouting which is boys and girls:)
Oh as I type my daughter is home on the sofa on her blackberry...she's changed since getting that for her birthday with all the bbm'ing lol before that she was a bit out of touch with everyone too:)
i wll have a look on the net see if there is any where near by ! any thing is worth a try as i am dreading the summer hoildays ! there is only so much cake makeing you can do !
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In addition to guiding have you thought about introducing your dd to drama groups? I am assured by parents that they are particularly good at helping children build confidence and they tend to make new friends and are at the very least occupied at least one evening a week. I know you say your daughter is shy but this can often help children who do not find it easy to speak up in social situations.
Is your daughter the only girl in her class who does not get invited out? Usually there are others when they really think about it, maybe she could begin to build a friendship with some of those and form a circle of her own. I have a quiet dd of 13 who is kind, caring, funny etc but she sometimes feels overlooked because she is quiet. Other quiet kids at school may be grateful for your daughter's attention if they find it hard to make friends too. She could just maybe start by asking them to go swimming or just come back after school for tea etc when she has got to know them better. Good luck, the social side of life can be hard for quieter children, if only people gave them a chance they would see how lovely and funny etc they can be.
my daughter is almost 14 and she doesn't have any close friends either, she doesn't really go out and if she does it's with her younger sisters. it breaks my heart because she gets quite upset too and there isn't really anything i can do. i am going to put the guiding thing to her and see how she feels about it. thank you for suggesting it :0)
my daughter is almost 14 and she doesn't have any close friends either, she doesn't really go out and if she does it's with her younger sisters. it breaks my heart because she gets quite upset too and there isn't really anything i can do. i am going to put the guiding thing to her and see how she feels about it. thank you for suggesting it :0)
So sorry to hear that you are in the same boat as me Vicky. I know how you feel every thing I suggest to my daughter she just turns her nose up. She even used to do Karate but he has given that up now. Hopw you have luck with the guiding.
hi lynn, sometimes its so hard being a parent isn't it? I did talk to my daughter about guides and i even suggested cadets, she said that she would have a think about guides, but i don't hold much hope for it tbh :0( it's awful to think that there are so many loney children out there x Good luck to your daughter in finding new friends, hope it happens real soon x
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A shy child is anxious or inhibited in unfamiliar situations or when interacting with others. A shy child is most likely to be nervously constrained if they feel they are ‘on show’, such as when meeting someone new or having to speak in front of others. A shy child is much more comfortable to watch the action from the sidelines rather than join in.
Most children feel shy from time to time but the lives of some are severely curtailed by their shyness. Children who suffer from extreme shyness may grow out of it as they mature or they may grow up to be shy adults. Parents can help their children to overcome mild shyness. In severe cases, professional help may be advisable.
Constant and severe shyness can reduce the quality of a child’s life in many ways, including:
Shy behaviour is associated with a number of positive behaviours including:
Some of the possible causes of shyness, often working in combination, may include:
If a child acts shy in a social situation, they may berate themselves for their behaviour afterwards. This self-reproach can make them more self-aware and self-judgemental and actually increase the likelihood of the child behaving shyly in future. As time goes on, their confidence and self-esteem may start to falter. The less confident a child feels, the more likely they are to behave in a shy way.
Parents are very influential in their children’s lives – probably much more than parents realise. Suggestions include:
It is possible for the parent to encourage their child to be more outgoing. Strategies depend on the individual child and circumstances but can include:
If your child’s shyness is especially debilitating, you may like to consider professional help from a counsellor or psychologist. Treatment options include:
Shyness, Child and Youth Health South Australia. More information here.
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Adoption can give a secure family life to children who can?t live with their birth family.
Allergy occurs when the body overreacts to a 'trigger' that is harmless to most people.
Children should always be closely supervised near animals and taught how to behave safely around pets.
You can help your child overcome anxiety by taking their fears seriously and encouraging them to talk about their feelings.
Pregnant women with asthma need to continue to take their asthma medication as it is important to the health of both mother and baby that the mother's asthma is well managed.
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Shy Teens And Old
