Shy Hot Guys
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Shy Hot Guys
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Contrary to other threads about good looking people always being 'players', i've actually found the opposite to often be the case, especially with guys. Of course there are always the fit confident players, but a lot of guys i know who are very good looking happen to be slightly introverted and shy...aahh this just makes them hotter in my opinion!
Just wondering if anyone else has noticed this/agrees/disagrees?
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Sounds like fantasy to me, but whatever flicks your bean.
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The guy I like is extremely hot but very shy. It's problematic !
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(Original post by Thrasymachus )
Sounds like fantasy to me, but whatever flicks your bean.
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Most of my friends and I are the quieter type, doesn't seem to be working for us though.
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Noooo, for me shyness is a big turn off.
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I'm shy and hot. Boiling in fact; I ought to get out of this cauldron.
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Usually I just think they're up their own arse rather than shy.
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(Original post by kikicat8 )
Usually I just think they're up their own arse rather than shy.
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I 100% agree I love the shy guys that are confident when you get to know them
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Too shy gets irritating after a while.
Trust me on this one. My bf is lovely but oh my God he can be irritating by being too shy/indecisive/needy!
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(Original post by kooboo71 )
lol yeah some can come across that way. im talking more about those who blush easily etc, sometimes it can be so cute when they're also goodlooking. not really referring to the guys who just sit there not participating in conversation at all - they can deffo seem up their own arses!
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This site doesn't go into dating advice, with this article being a semi-exception. Over the years several women have written me to tell me reading this site has helped them understand the actions of a shy guy they were pursuing. With that in mind I thought I'd try to be even more helpful and write a whole article outlining what it's like to be a man who's really shy and inexperienced with women. At the end I give a few thoughts on what to do if there's a shy guy in your life you're interested in.
Combined, the points below describe a guy who's really, really inhibited and awkward around women. Not all shy men deal with issues that intense or will have every characteristic apply to them. As with all the other writing on this site, the points here are from a mix of my own experience and accounts I've come across of how shy men say they think.
I also wrote a follow up to this article on some of the unique issues shy women struggle with .
I'll break this down further below, but their central problem is that they're just really anxious , scared, and inhibited around women. Almost all men get a little nervous when they have to ask a woman out, make a move to kiss her, or even talk to her for the first time. But when a guy is really shy his nervousness is at a level where it usually prevents him from doing any of those things. It's legitimately strong, not something where they can just take a deep breath and push through. Sometimes this nervousness shows up as the physical symptoms of anxiety. At other times it's more of a powerful, paralyzing hesitation. Like they know how they want to act, but it's like an invisible force field is preventing them from doing so.
This could mean feeling too anxious to start a conversation with an attractive stranger they've just noticed at a party. It can also be longer term. Some shy guys, especially younger ones, have had a crush on someone for years and have never worked up the nerve to talk to her. The occasional time that someone they fancy talks to them first they often get too flustered, and the resulting brief conversation consists of some stuttered half-coherent answers on their part.
That's not to say a shy guy won't sometimes be able to chat to someone he's into, but it's relatively rare. Sometimes they just won't get nervous around her for whatever mysterious reason. At other time they can force themselves to do it, but they're a total mess inside the whole time.
One problem that can plague shyer guys is that sometimes their nervousness doesn't appear when they first meet a woman, but comes back to bite them soon after. Initially they manage to come off as calm and charming and make a good impression, but then fall apart when the stakes get higher. The reason is that when they first run into that woman she's new and they haven't had time to overthink things and develop any nervous feelings for her. They'll come away from the interaction feeling excited and optimistic about where things may lead.
However, now they have a reason to feel pressured and jittery around her, and that's exactly what happens. The scenario then goes in one of the following directions:
This 'setting them up, but not following through' scenario can happen to different degrees. The first is when a guy simply sees a woman around a few times and makes confident eye contact with her. She seems attracted and intrigued and like she's waiting for him to approach her. He sees this, gets nervous, and never conjures up the guts to speak to her.
Another variation is when a guy runs into a woman, say because he randomly sits beside her in a lecture, chats to her for a bit, and comes off well. She seems interested. Enter the pressure. He can't work up the nerve to talk to her another time. A third scenario might be something more drawn-out, like a guy has a few conversations with a woman he never really thought of as more than someone friendly to talk to. He notices she seems like she's becoming attracted to him, and he blows things soon after.
Sometimes a guy will be able to talk to a woman he's interested in, often because the circumstances put them together so the onus wasn't on him to approach anyone. If he likes someone he'll often feel too nervous to ask her out and face the awkwardness and risk of rejection that entails. He may never invite her on a date, or put it off so long that by the time he does the moment has passed.
Even with all of the above stacked against him, a shyer, inexperienced guy will sometimes have enough things go his way that he'll end up in a position where he's alone with a woman and has a chance to "make a move" (e.g., kiss her, put his arm around her, etc.). Unsurprisingly, they're really nervous and hesitant about this as well. Same general discomfort and risk of rejection.
He may have a blatant, all-systems-go opportunity where the woman is clearly interested, but he can't manage to go through with it. There he is, sitting on a couch watching a movie with his date when the credits start to roll. She turns to face him, looking into his eyes expectantly. He returns her gaze and pauses for a moment, and a little longer, and a bit longer still... then he gets up says he better drive home before it gets too late. Afterward he's kicking himself for being so spineless. He was trying to work up the nerve to kiss her all evening, and kept wondering if now was the right time to do it, but in the end he couldn't pull the trigger.
One key fear guys have in this situation if they're sexually in
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