Shibari Tying
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Shibari Tying
By Zachary Zane Published: Oct 20, 2020
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Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine. His work has been featured in Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more.
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Build trust, learn about your body, and get a little kinky.
A lot of people find it super sexy to tie up a partner —or be tied up by a partner—in the bedroom. In fact, BDSM (the B stands for "bondage") is the most common sexual fantasy among American adults, with 93% of men and 96% of women having fantasized about some aspect of it in the past.
If your curiosity about sexy physical restraints has led you to the internet, it's possible you've come across Shibari, or Japanese rope bondage.
“Shibari is not inherently sexual,” explains Sydona , a Shibari artist and instructor. “Many practice it as a form of meditation, as a tool to create connection and intimacy with a partner, or simply enjoy it because it’s beautiful,” she says. Nevertheless, Shibari can be used to spice things up in the bedroom or to add to your kinky repertoire.
Shibari is a contemporary form of rope bondage that originated in Japan, explains Midori , a sexologist, educator, and author of Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . Sometimes it’s also called Kinbaku or Japanese bondage.
Shibari literally translates to “to tie” or “to bind,” adds Sydona: “It refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body.”
The visual imagery dates back to how prisoners and criminals were restrained in Japan during the medieval and Edo periods (1200s CE to late 1800 CE), Midori says. “This fed the darker erotic imagination of kinky Japanese people, much in the same way that European medieval prison tools inspired Western BDSM —think crosses, manacles, and chastity devices."
Binding would also appear in specialty porn, other imagery, and underground adult entertainment venues in Japan. In World War II, some American soldiers saw Shibari and surreptitiously brought it back to the United States, Midori says. Cut to the '90s, and it was all over the Internet. “Today, it’s developed into a 21st-century form of pleasure craft,” she says.
There are certain common terms and phrases for Shibari practitioners. Sydona provided a list of some words that are commonly used:
Rigger/Rope Top: The person doing the tying.
Rope Bottom/Bunny: The person being tied.
Floor Tie: Rope work that is done exclusively on the floor.
Suspension: An advanced form of Shibari that includes lifting the body off the floor using only ropes.
Self-tie: When a person ties themself.
Midori adds that it’s important to have mutual “safe words” or “safe signals.” “These are words or signals to indicate that either one of you wants to change what’s happening,” she says. Many people tend to use the traffic light—green for keep going; yellow for I’m reaching my limit; and red for stop at once—but Midori encourages you to come up with the safe words that work best for you.
There are various reasons why someone may enjoy Shibari. “It may have to do with the feeling of letting go of control—or the feeling of surrendering during sex,” says Midori.
Some folks like the tactile sensation of the soft (or rough) rope against their skin. It can feel like a comforting, tight hug, Midori explains. It can also be a great addition to dominance and submission fantasy play . For some, “It can heighten sexual sensations and orgasms because of body position changes and muscle contractions,” Midori adds.
Something that particularly draws Sydona to Shibari is the intimacy it creates between her and the other person. “As a rigger, I can create a whole range of experiences for my bottom depending on what they desire,” she says. “Often the feeling desired is simply to be restrained, but sometimes it’s to feel beautiful, to feel shame, to feel sexy, to feel pain, and so on.” A rigger can create those feelings for someone with just their ropes.
Midori notes that some people think that all men top and all women bottom. “The reality is that people of all genders enjoy being tied up and tying up their lovers,” she says.
Just doing Shibari alone won’t automatically strengthen your relationship with your partner, says Midori. “But the communication required to plan it before, enjoy it during, and savor it after can strengthen a relationship,” she says, noting that this is also true for any BDSM play .
Sydona adds, “Shibari is a tool to learn about your partner’s body, to build trust between you and your partner, and to discover new and exciting intimacy.”
TwistedMonk is an exceptional rope vendor; it has free videos on their site that will get you started, says Midori. Sydona recommends Shibari Study , which is an online, subscription-based, anthology of classes and tutorials for all levels, taught by internationally renowned Shibari experts. You can also read, Midori’s book, Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage . There are even conferences, such as Rope Craft , where people come together to learn about Shibari and socialize.
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Basic Knots
Learn the building blocks that will enable you to create complex Shibari ties. These are the must-have basics that will jump-start your rope bondage career.
This knot is the building block for most ties ranging from the easiest to the most complex
Pay attention when tying this knot. It looks simple, but it's easy to end up with a grandma's knot if tied incorrectly.
This knot will tighten under tension and remain loose when not
Impress your friends by tying a one-handed slip-knot in less than 5 seconds!
Keep the ropes in place using friction
Attach the end of the rope to an object, basically used as an anchor.
A beautiful knot. Great for decorative ties
Seven Ties to Entice You Into Shibari
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One of our first ventures into bondage as a couple came through rope play. Our introduction to bondage came through the use of silk ties and cuffs to bind wrists and ankles, but we found these to be quite expensive and very restrictive (pardon the pun) in their use. By that I mean, they were made for one purpose only. With that in mind Ellie had suggested shibari rope as something to have a go at. Initial searches of shibari and bondage rope often provide you with folk presenting intricate binds with beautiful rope in gorgeous settings, and that can be pretty daunting. But as with all creative endeavours, there is a place to start and learn, and build upon.
There is a lot of choice when it comes to the type of rope you can use, but we went for jute rope, and if you’re interested to know why we chose this option then check out an earlier blog post by Ellie here . If you’re interested in having a go, hop over to our store and pick yourself up some rope today.
When you finally get hold of some rope, the question is where to start? We set ourselves up with a dimly lit living room, with lots of candles and incense to create a calm, and pretty sexy atmosphere, for the evening. We had a look online and quickly came across a host of youtube tutorials, our favourite being The Twisted Monk . Not only did this introduce us to one of our favourite educators and a complete genius when it comes to rope tying, Midori , but it gave us a great selection of simple walk-through tutorials for bondage rope tying.
As I said, there is a lot of resources out there, and it takes time to sift through and find a tutor/tutorial that you find easy to follow and provides you with the type of ties you’re looking for. So, for the rest of this blog post I’d like to give you an insight into some of our favourite ties to use, along with the resources we found most helpful. With each tie I’ll provide a quick overview of what it is, what knots you’ll use, a brief video to show how it’s put together and then helpful resources to provide a more intricate guide for doing it yourself. So let’s begin…..
So to get started, here is one of the first basic ties you can learn. By single column, we’re referring to a tie on a single column, for example around one of your wrists, or perhaps around one of your thighs. There are several different versions of the tie. A common tie to use is the summerville bowline, which is a non-collapsing tie (if you were to pull on the knot it doesn’t start to tighten around the column). The tie also has an open bite, which means the loop left over can be pulled to release the tie and therefore allows the rigger (person tying the rope) to quickly undo the tie if the rope bottom (person being tied) feels the need to exit the bind.
Wanna try it yourself? We suggest the following resources:
Chelle Lisbeth and their video "Shibari 101: The Single Column Tie" which you'll find on YouTube . As well as "Drills & skills for apocalypse - series 2!" by @notcamdamage on their IGTV
The double column tie, like the single column tie, is relatively straightforward. As the name suggests we’re going around two columns, such as both wrists or ankles. By yourself, you could happily work this around your legs, or a partner could also bind around your arms. The important thing to consider here, as with all rope play, is that you avoid constricting the nerves of the arm or legs , as this could result in nerve damage, identified by a feeling of numbness/tingling in the hands or feet. Sometimes this is just loss of circulation, which shouldn’t result in any permament damage, but it’s best to play it safe and research where the nerves are most exposed to avoid placing knots/particular pressure on these areas.
The tie doesn't require much in the way of rope. We used the burgundy jute rope, available on our store, and this tie left us with plenty of the 8m still to work with. You could use left over rope to fashion something extra, tie yourself or a partner to something sturdy or perhaps just use it as a handy way to guide your ropee.
The most useful resources for this tie is on @notcamdamage IGTV page: look for “Drills and Skills for the apocalypse, Series 3, double column ties.”
A little bit more complicated, but still building on the foundation of what's already covered, a calf binder starts with a double column tie and then, using reverse tension, you create something that not only is rather lovely to look at but also minimises movement of your rope bottoms legs. Remember to offset the legs slightly so you don't have the knees clashing together. I really like this as something to do by yourself as a bit of self-tying is a really nice way to relieve some anxiety after a long day.
For this I used @notcamdamage once again, which is a great resource and very easy to follow tutorial. You'll find this video on their. IGTV pages under "Drills and Skills for the apocalypse" Series 3 part 2: combining double column ties with reverse tension to do a calf binder.”
The big benefit of rope is its durability and malleability, by which I mean it can be used for so many purposes. As I mentioned earlier, Shibari rope tying is often associated with bondage, but that doesn't stop it being great for more functional ties. So I thought I'd focus on the more functional end of the rope tying spectrum and demonstrate how to fashion a strap on harness. You'll need a dildo with a good base for this tie like the NoFrillDos (here we’ve used the B in Magenta ), but otherwise this is relatively straightforward with no complicated knots. The most time consuming part of this tie was finding a way to use the final rope, which involved Cored Square Knots all down the vertical rear piece, providing a very aesthetically pleasing method of signing off your tie.
For this I used resources on The Duchy . However there's an alternative and equally great tie on afemmecock.com .
Considering Shibari rope is often viewed as a form of bondage I thought we should at least include a tie that has bondage in the name. So here it is, the bondage belt. What you have here is the standard Burlington Bowline on the first wrist, followed by an inline Burlington Bowline on the second wrist. You could just stop here and use this configuration as handcuffs. But if you want to go one step further and keep your partner's hands by their sides at all times, then a few loops around the waist turns this into a simple, effective and great looking piece of bondage.
For this tie I used a resource provided by the Duchy. You can find this here . They also do a lovely variation on this with a "happy strap" which basically adds a through the legs connection. If you need guidance on perfecting the Burlington Bowline, the Duchy also have a tutorial specifically for that here .
This harness has been my favourite to learn thus far. For me it incorporates a lot of easy ties and isn't too hard to replicate. It's a really beautiful end result and I'm sure will work great with any body type. This uses a lot of rope, so we needed an extra length. However it is very simple to tie together two ropes: watch how to here . So whether you're wanting to pay some attention to a partner's great torso, or perhaps looking for a unique accessory to wear for your cult initiation, the pentagram harness is definitely something to consider
To learn this I used The Duchy again. There is also a great video on Twisted Monk's YouTube channel featuring one of our favourite people, Midori.
To finish I wanted to show a relatively easy full body harness, which covers a lot of what has been spoken about already. You can quite happily add a second length of rope and extend this further, adding more ties to the front to allow for more wrap arounds. As with the last few ties we've covered, this one really shows off how beautiful and intricate rope can be, with not a lot of work. This was actually the first tie Ellie and I ever tried with rope, many moons ago. If tied well, you don't even have to keep turning your partner around and instead you stand face-to-face whilst you bind them, which can provide a really lovely, intimate moment between the two of you. I would also add that with a few well placed knots and a good source of vibrations (the Noje W3 for instance), this can become a great tie for giving good times to your pal.
So that’s you lot. Since our first evening attempting bondage rope tying, Ellie and i have fallen in love with shibari. Not only does it give the user a wealth of options for bondage; from simple column ties for binding wrists and ankles; to complex suspension ties that will sweep your partner off their feet; sshibari also offers an excellent substitute for tools currently not at your disposal- such as strap-on harnesses. I hope you’ve found this useful, and if you have any questions or feel I’ve missed out on something then just get in touch over social media or via email . As for me, I’m going to make myself a cup of tea and grab a biscuit as a well deserved treat for finally writing this all up.
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Here is one variation for constructing the strappado, demonstrated by Tracker Dan with Innovative Fiber Arts. Besides tying the model’s arms behind the back, it provides a chest harness that can be used to protect the model in case of a fall. Tracker Dan also demonstrates techniques to help protect the model from nerve damage that might be suffered during this tie.
Enjoy the video after the break. Continue reading →
This video tutorial shows how to create a very nice karada body harness including double coin knots. MiShibari moves slowly so you can easily see his technique.
The karada harness can simply be decorative, or it can be a body harness used to anchor other ties.
This technique should be in your bag of techniques.
Enjoy the video after the break. Continue reading →
A two column tie is a basic technique that must be included in the skill set of a shibari rigger. In this post, Stefano Laforgia demonstrates a simple and effective way to create a two column tie. This tie can be used for hands, arms, legs, ankles, and for tying limbs to other objects such as bamboo poles/bars, etc. It is important to not tie it too tightly, and to create a knot that will not tighten down or collapse.
After the break, Stefano Laforgia demonstrates his two column tie technique in a video tutorial. Continue reading →
A single column tie is one of the basic ties all shibari riggers must know. This tie can also be used to attach harnesses (chest, body, hip, etc.) to overhead supports.
This post includes a video after the break where MaillerPhong demonstrates his simple and effective technique for creating this powerful tie. Continue reading →
There are many variations of Hip Harnesses. Here is one by MrLeto.
I like the way he weaves his rope around his model/bottom. This spreads out the rope contact over a relatively larger area, making it more comfortable when put under suspension tension. This harness offers multiple ways to attach support lines for different types of suspensions.
His tutorial video is included after the break.
The Futomomo (“Fat Leg” in Japanese) is one of the most popular ties currently used by shibari riggers. It can also be used to tie arms.
This post includes a video where MaillerPhong demonstrates a simple and effective technique for creating this tie.
MaillerPhong is an excellent and creative rigger. His work is clean, intricate and beautiful. Check out his video t
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