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8 Signs You Are Married to a Controlling Wife & Ways to Cope

By Rachael Pace , Expert Blogger

Approved By Jeannie Sytsma, LMFTA

Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together.

It’s not new to hear what husbands have to say about their wives. Most of the time, husbands may comment on how nagging their wives have become, how they feel neglected, and many more.
Marriage is like that. There are things that we just don’t like about each other, but overall, with effort – everything can still work out fine.
But what if you are married to a controlling wife? This isn’t something that we often hear, especially from men. However, it may be more common than we think. Just how do you deal with a controlling wife without giving up on your relationship ?
When you first get into a relationship, both of you want to impress each other. You want to be the best you can be and show this person what they’re having as a partner.
However, upon getting married, we start seeing the real personality of the person we love . Of course, we’re mostly ready for this, but what if you start seeing drastic behavioral changes in your wife?
Are you in a situation where you’re beginning to ask yourself, “Is my wife controlling me?” If you do, then you might have married a controlling wife.
A wife controlling husband isn’t an unusual marital problem. There are more men in this situation than you can imagine.
It’s just that men, by nature, wouldn’t want to let everyone know about their state because it emasculates them, and of course, this is understandable.
If you think you are someone who is living with a controlling wife, then be familiar with the signs!
If you have been seeing, first hand, the signs of a controlling woman, then most likely, you’re married to a controlling wife.
Let’s go over some simple scenarios that only a husband married to a controlling woman would relate to –
Often bragging how she is the “head” of the family!
If such is the case with you, then yes, you have married a controlling wife.
If you are married to a wife who controls you, but you’re still in the marriage, it means that you truly love her and that you want to make the relationship work.
Know the simplest ways on how to deal with a controlling wife and how you can do it together.
There will be cases where a controlling wife might have underlying problems, such as showing narcissistic traits or other psychological problems. It can also be from trauma or a relationship problem that you had before.
Your overall approach will differ from the reason for the attitude she’s displaying. If she’s suffering some form of psychological problems, she may need professional help.
Instead of arguing or escalating the issue to a fight of who is better, stay calm.
It’s better that way, and you’ll save up your energy. Allow her to rant and then ask her if she can now listen. By this time, even a controlling wife can give way.
You can let her know that you see her point and then add your own points.
You’d be surprised to know how communication can help in these situations.
You can start off by using positive words and statements for her so that she does not misinterpret them.
You can also show signs that you agree with her, and you are willing to create a plan about it. This will make her feel that she’s given importance while you are also able to open a way of getting into her and helping her.
There can be instances where the controlling wife is aware of her actions and wants to change.
In this event, it’s better to ask for professional help and make sure you allow time for her to understand how this is needed and how it can save your relationship.
Who said living with a controlling wife is easy?
You may already be too tired from work, and you go home with more issues, especially if your wife is overbearing and controlling. It’s tiring, stressful, and toxic, but if you are still willing to fight for your vows , that’s great.
Do the best you can and show her that you are the man of the house who is willing to bring back the once happy marriage that you have.
Want to have a happier, healthier marriage?
If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about the wife of William Shakespeare. For other uses, see Anne Hathaway (disambiguation) .
This drawing by Sir Nathaniel Curzon , dated 1708, purportedly depicts Anne Hathaway. Samuel Schoenbaum writes that it is probably a tracing of a lost Elizabethan portrait, but there is no existing evidence that the portrait actually depicted Hathaway. [1]

^ Jump up to: a b Schoenbaum, Samuel (1987). William Shakespeare: A Compact Documentary Life (Revised ed.). Oxford: Oxford University Press. pp. 92, 240. ISBN 0-19-505161-0 .

^ Jump up to: a b "Anne Hathaway's Cottage & Gardens – Shakespeare Birthplace Trust" . shakespeare.org.uk . Archived from the original on 10 May 2008.

^ Pogue, Kate (2008). Shakespeare's Family . Greenwood. p. 58. ISBN 978-0-275-99510-2 .

^ Jump up to: a b Stanley Wells, "Hathaway, Anne". Oxford Companion to Shakespeare , Oxford University Press, 2005, p. 185. Sandells had overseen the drawing up of Richard Hathaway's will and Richardson had been a witness.

^ Frank Harris, The Man Shakespeare , BiblioBazaar, LLC, 2007, (reprint) p. 362.

^ Stanley Wells, "Whateley, Anne". Oxford Companion to Shakespeare , Oxford University Press, 2005, pp. 185, 518. See also Park Honan, Shakespeare: a life , Oxford University Press, 2000, p. 84.

^ Jump up to: a b c d Greer, Germaine (2008). Shakespeare's Wife . New York: Harper. ISBN 978-0-06-153715-8 .

^ Jump up to: a b "The Children of William Shakespeare" . literarygenius.info .

^ Stanley Wells, Gary Taylor, John Jowett, William Montgomery, William Shakespeare, a textual companion , W. W. Norton & Company, 1997, p. 90

^ Jump up to: a b Marjorie Garber, Profiling Shakespeare , Routledge, 2008, pp. 170–175.

^ Best, Michael (2005) Anne's inheritance . Internet Shakespeare Editions, University of Victoria, Canada.

^ "Shakespeare's will" . The National Archives (UK government).

^ Stephen Greenblatt, Will in the World, How Shakespeare Became Shakespeare , W. W. Norton & Company, New York, 2004.

^ Vbera, tu mater, tu lac, vitamque dedisti. / Vae mihi: pro tanto munere saxa dabo / Quam mallem, amoueat lapidem, bonus angelus orem / Exeat Christi corpus, imago tua~~ / Sed nil vota valent. venias citò Christe; resurget / Clausa licet tumulo mater et astra petet.

^ Shakespeare-ssonnets.com . Retrieved 19 April 2007

^ Shakespeare and Precious Stones by George Frederick Kunz

^ Watsaon, Nicola, "Shakespeare on the Turist Trail", Robert Shaughnessy (ed), The Cambridge Companion to Shakespeare and Popular Culture , Cambridge University Press, 2007, p. 211.

^ Black, William, Judith Shakespeare, her Love Affairs and Other Adventures , New York, 1884.

^ Jump up to: a b Katherine Scheil, "Filling the Wife-Shaped Void: The Contemporary Afterlife of Anne Hathaway", Peter Holland (ed), Shakespeare Survey: Volume 63 , Cambridge University Press, 2010, pp. 225ff.

^ Robotwisdom.com Archived 13 January 2006 at the Wayback Machine . Retrieved 19 April 2007

^ Robotwisdom.com Archived 1 December 2005 at the Wayback Machine . Retrieved 19 April 2007

^ Robotwisdom.com Archived 1 December 2005 at the Wayback Machine . Retrieved 19 April 2007

^ The Good Men Do .

^ R. C. Churchill, Shakespeare and His Betters: A History and a Criticism of the Attempts Which Have Been Made to Prove That Shakespeare's Works Were Written by Others , Max Reinhardt, London, 1958, p. 54. Churchill refers to an article entitled "The Plays of Mrs. Shakespeare" by J. P. de Fonseka in G.K's Weekly , 3 March 1938.

Wikimedia Commons has media related to Anne Hathaway .
  Direct ascendants and descendants of William Shakespeare are shown with a blue background
  Shakespeare's siblings are shown with a red background
  Anne Hathaway and ascendants are shown with a yellow background
  People related to Shakespeare only through marriage are shown with a green background
  Relations whose identity is not known are shown with a dashed border
Years given are usually approximate and typically reflect baptismal and burial years, rather than birth and death.
For remarriages, the number in parentheses after the name indicates the order of the marriages.

Chambers, E. K. (1930). William Shakespeare: A Study of Facts and Problems . Oxford: Clarendon Press . pp. Vol. I 11–12, 18, Vol. II 8–9. OCLC 353406 .
Schoenbaum, S. (1977). William Shakespeare: A Compact Documentary Life . Oxford: Clarendon Press . p. 292. ISBN 0195051610 .

Anne Hathaway (1556 – 6 August 1623) was the wife of William Shakespeare , the English poet, playwright and actor. They were married in 1582, when Hathaway was 28 years old and Shakespeare was 18. She outlived her husband by seven years. Very little is known about her life beyond a few references in legal documents. Her personality and relationship to Shakespeare have been the subject of much speculation by many historians and writers.

Hathaway is believed to have grown up in Shottery , a village just to the west of Stratford-upon-Avon , Warwickshire, England. She is assumed to have grown up in the farmhouse that was the Hathaway family home, which is located at Shottery and is now a major tourist attraction for the village. Her father, Richard Hathaway, was a yeoman farmer. He died in September 1581 and left his daughter the sum of ten marks or £6 13s 4d (six pounds, thirteen shillings and fourpence) to be paid "at the day of her marriage". [2] In her father's will, her name is listed as "Agnes", leading to some scholars believing that she should be referred to as "Agnes Hathaway". [3]

Hathaway married Shakespeare in November 1582 while already pregnant with the couple's first child, to whom she gave birth six months later. The age difference, added to Hathaway's antenuptial pregnancy, has been employed by some historians as evidence that it was a " shotgun wedding ", forced on a somewhat reluctant Shakespeare by the Hathaway family. There is, however, no other evidence for this inference.

For a time it was believed that this view was supported by documents from the Episcopal Register at Worcester, which records in Latin the issuing of a wedding licence to "William Shakespeare" and one "Anne Whateley" of Temple Grafton . The following day, Fulk Sandells and John Richardson, friends of the Hathaway family from Stratford, signed a surety of £40 as a financial guarantee for the wedding of "William Shagspere and Anne Hathwey". [4] Frank Harris , in The Man Shakespeare (1909), argued that these documents are evidence that Shakespeare was involved with two women. He had chosen to marry one, Anne Whateley , but when this became known he was immediately forced by Hathaway's family to marry their pregnant relative. Harris believed that "Shakespeare's loathing for his wife was measureless" because of his entrapment by her and that this was the spur to his decision to leave Stratford and pursue a career in the theatre. [5]

However, according to Stanley Wells , writing in the Oxford Companion to Shakespeare , most modern scholars take the view that the name Whateley was "almost certainly the result of clerical error". [6]

Germaine Greer , in Shakespeare's Wife , argues that the age difference between Shakespeare and Hathaway is not evidence that he was forced to marry her, but that he was the one who pursued her. Women such as the orphaned Hathaway often stayed at home to care for younger siblings and married in their late twenties. As a husband Shakespeare offered few prospects; his family had fallen into financial ruin, while Hathaway, from a family in good standing both socially and financially, would have been considered a catch. Furthermore, a "handfast" and pregnancy were frequent precursors to legal marriage at the time. Examining the surviving records of Stratford-upon-Avon and nearby villages in the 1580s, Greer argues that two facts stand out quite prominently: first, that a large number of brides went to the altar already pregnant; and second, that autumn, not spring, was the most common time to get married. Shakespeare was bound to marry Hathaway, who had become pregnant by him, but there is no reason to assume that this had not always been his intention. It is nearly certain that the respective families of the bride and groom had known one another. [7]

Three children were born to Hathaway and her husband: Susanna in 1583 and the twins Hamnet and Judith in 1585. Hamnet died at 11 years old during one of the frequent outbreaks of the bubonic plague and was buried in Stratford upon Avon on 11 August 1596.

Apart from documents related to her marriage and the birth of her children, the only recorded reference to Hathaway in her lifetime is a curious bequest in the will of her father's shepherd, Thomas Whittington, who died in 1601. Whittington left 40 shillings to "the poor of Stratford", adding that the money was "in the hand of Anne Shakespeare wife unto Master William Shakespeare, and is due debt unto me, being paid to mine executor by the said William Shakespeare or his assigns according to the true meaning of this my will." This passage has been interpreted in several different ways. One view is that Whittington may have lent Anne the money, presumably because she was short of cash while her husband was away. More likely, however, it may have been "uncollected wages, or savings held in safekeeping", since the will also lists debts owed to him from her brothers in the same amount. [1]

In 1607, Hathaway's daughter Susanna married the local doctor, John Hall , giving birth to Hathaway's and Shakespeare's granddaughter, Elizabeth , the following year. Judith married Thomas Quiney , who was a vintner and tavern owner from a good family, in February 1616 when she was 31 and he was 27. Shakespeare may later have disapproved of this choice when it was discovered that Quiney had got another girl pregnant; also, Quiney had failed to obtain a special wedding licence needed during Lent, leading to Judith and Thomas being excommunicated on 12 March. Soon afterwards, on 25 March 1616, Shakespeare modified his will for Judith to inherit £300 in her own name, leaving Quiney out of the will and giving most of his property to Susanna and her husband. [8]

It has sometimes been inferred that Shakespeare came to dislike his wife, but there is no existing documentation or correspondence to support this supposition. For most of their married life, he lived in London, writing and performing his plays, while she remained in Stratford. However, according to John Aubrey , he returned to Stratford for a period every year. [9] When he retired from the theatre in 1613, he chose to live in Stratford with his wife, rather than in London.

In his will Shakespeare famously made only one bequest to his wife, his "second-best bed with the furniture". There is no reference to the "best" bed, which would have been included in the main bequest to Susanna. This bequest to Anne has often been interpreted as a slight, implying that Anne was in some sense only the "second best" person in his intimate life. [10] A few explanations have been offered: first, it has been claimed that, according to law, Hathaway was entitled to receive one third of her husband's estate, regardless of his will, [11] though this has been disputed. [7] It has been speculated that Hathaway was to be supported by her children. Germaine Greer suggests that the bequests were the result of agreements made at the time of Susanna's marriage to Dr Hall: that she (and thus her husband) inherited the bulk of Shakespeare's estate. Shakespeare had business ventures with Dr Hall, and consequently appointed John and Susanna as executors of his will. Dr Hall and Susanna inherited and moved into New Place after Shakespeare's death. [8] This would also explain other examples of Shakespeare's will being apparently ungenerous, as in its treatment of his younger daughter Judith.

There is indication that Hathaway may have been financially secure in her own right. [7] The National Archives states that "beds and other pieces of household furniture were often the sole bequest to a wife" and that, customarily, the children would receive the best items and the widow the second-best. [12] In Shakespeare's time, the beds of prosperous citizens were expensive affairs, sometimes equivalent in value to a small house. The bequest was thus not as minor as it might seem in modern times. [7] In Elizabethan custom, the best bed in the house was reserved for guests. If so, then the bed that Shakespeare bequeathed to Anne could have been their marital bed, and thus not intended to insult he
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