She S A Pretty Girl
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She S A Pretty Girl
I’m now crawling on top of my soapbox – so bear with me.
I just saw a discussion on Twitter between Jon Acuff (author
of Quitter , Start and Stuff Christians
Like ) and several women (and a few men) over this tweet:
My wife, a female
speaker, would be hurt by that: “I added 5 speakers: 3 guys, 2 girls”
I’m not sure where the original tweet is, but Jon must have announced
that he had added 5 speakers: 3 guys, 2 girls to I’m sure an upcoming
conference of his.
Another woman responds to that tweet with: Surely you mean women…
And then they all came swimming to the bloody water. You
would have thought hell had broken lose!
To which Jon responds to all of them with (which he didn’t
have to):
I said that cause
“Guys and Girls” is a phrase, guys and women is awkward.
Yes. That TOTALLY makes sense to me. But not this lady,
excuse me, woman, she, along with several other women (and a few men), then
began to go through an entire diatribe as to why it’s derogatory, disrespectful
and hard for women to be respected in this world, especially as speakers (of
course a speaker herself) when terms like that are used.
Which of course makes me roll my eyes and reminds me of the
time I was helping run an event where we had invited several pastors and their
spouses. I say spouses, because there were women pastors invited to this event
too. Read on and you’ll see why…
At this particular event I encountered a woman. I won’t go
into the long drawn out version where she had saved seats (not allowed to do)
and asked a black gentleman in a wheelchair to move from the seat she had
saved. Yeah, I won’t go into the irony and derogatoriness of that.
I of course saw this happen and as I went to handle the
situation I addressed her as, “Ma’am.” Which for me, when I was growing up, if
you were older than me, was a sign of respect. But oh no…not to her. She took
HIGH offense and said: “Excuse me, it’s Pastor.”
I say all this because, well, it’s driving me nuts!!! Ladies,
yes, we’ve had to come a long way to earn respect in this world, to have the
right to vote and be seen as something other than a secretary, mother, wife
and/or piece of meat.
But boy, (oh wait, probably shouldn’t use that term), have
we gone in the wrong direction!!!
It’s time to get over it!! We’ve allowed ourselves to swing
so far in the other direction that we can’t even take a joke or read a tweet
without being offended.
Yes, I know you want
to be seen as someone respectable, I get that. Yes, I know you want to be somebody
in what is still, really, a man’s world. I get that too. Been there, done that.
I understand where you are coming from! I was raised with a
strong dad AND a strong mom. My dad’s a pastor, yet my mom spoke from the
pulpit too (gasp!). And today, they travel and speak TOGETHER!
They raised two very strong daughters. And we were taught to
value who we were and the gifts and talents God had given us. And some of those
gifts were hard to deal with as a woman…
I’m Choleric as a personality trait with Command (according to
Strength-finders) as my number one strength and Prophecy, Leadership and
Discernment have a three-way tie as my spiritual gift. Talk about trying to
make that work.
But my goodness, we have dug our heels into the ground so
deep that we have forgotten how to be a lady. We expect respect, but really,
it’s entitlement.
It’s ok that men are pastors, it’s ok that men are bosses
and it’s ok that men be seen as the head of the household (gasp!).
And it’s ok that you speak too! It’s ok that you manage a
team of both men and women, however it’s not ok that you be the head of the
household (that’s another blog for another day) – but you certainly can marry
into an equal partnership – which I’m grateful for every day that I have.
We have much to be proud of as women. God took great care in
creating us as the beautiful, intricate and complex creatures that we are. But
. . .
It’s time to let it go – the need for entitlement. I know
I’m nobody in this big world to say anything, but I finally had to. It’s
driving me crazy!
It’s ok that someone says he added: Guys and Girls…to a list
of speakers. It really, really is ok. Don’t get your panties in a wad…get over
it. Now stepping off soapbox.
Posted by
ashley
at
9:49 AM
3
comments
I now feel an appropriate time has gone by that I can share
this story. It also helps I am in a new state (literally) and in a new season
in life, but it’s hard to say with
social media around.
Around this time last year, I was asked to lead worship for
our church Women’s Retreat. I of course was honored and freaked out all at
the same time, but that’s another story for maybe never a time. : )
My mom and sister took the journey with me and we had such a
blast together. I remember laughing so much, but I couldn’t even tell you about
what. I think it was mindless and stupid stuff that only family or really close
friends find hilariously funny when they are at the same level of delirium with
you.
After a full Friday of working and traveling, leading worship
and listening to the speaker, we got back to our room that the 3 of us were
sharing. Somehow I ended up in my own bed, not sure how that happened because
usually the mom gets that honor. However, you’ll see why it was a good thing
for her . . .
Now, if you know me even a little, you will know I’m a bit
of a germaphobe. And I married one too. Public bathrooms, hotels, hotel beds,
planes, etc . . . they all just gross me out. I have been known to yank off the
comforter on the bed immediately (don’t tell me you haven’t read those MSN
articles about maids that tell all . . . you know!!!) and then I rip back the sheets
and investigate. If it’s remotely dirty I ask for a new set of sheets.
This particular time, I remember pulling back the sheets,
but didn’t see anything and decided it was clear . . . oh how wrong I was.
I settled in, Mom was about to turn off the
lights and Sister was already half asleep. And then it happened.
I moved my feet all the way down to the end of the bed and
my feet found something wadded up down at the bottom. Without even thinking about
it, I reached down there with my hands and pulled out the wad – an item in
each hand. Slowly I pulled it out and then it registered what it was . . . Adidas MEN’S
SOCKS?!?!?!?!
I have never in my life dropped and thrown something so fast
in my life!
My mom and sister died laughing, to the point they nearly
wet their pants and I was appalled to the point of screaming?!
And then of course my mind began racing . . . were these sheets
never washed?! Did someone sneak in our room and take a nap?! Oh Lawd, did the
bathroom get cleaned?! And on and on and on my mind went.
But here I am the guest worship leader and all the rooms
are rented out for this retreat . . . what am I to do?! I pondered sleeping in
my car. But just decided to fully clothe myself and sleep in the fetal position
all night . . . which means I think I slept about 30 minutes.
I’m telling you, if it’s gonna happen to someone, it will
happen to me.
So, new thing added to the ever growing and long checklist: Check the end of the bed
for dirty socks.
P.S. Later that night, Mom was complaining about being cold and wishing she had a pair of socks and I said, "Oh, I have an extra pair!" "Oh good . . . you do?" (totally not getting it) "Yep, down at the end of the bed on the floor."
Posted by
ashley
at
2:10 PM
0
comments
So a couple of months ago a very hilarious blog post was
traveling around Facebook. I have no idea who this lady is, and have never
really followed her since then, but oh Mylanta, I laughed so hard when I read
it. Number 1, it was hilarious, and Number 2, it was MY LIFE! I have lived that
moment. Literally, my very first date consisted of a moment very similar to
that. Let’s just say Babe’s Chicken made an appearance twice that night.
You see, for most of my life, I struggled with what I only
knew to be IBS. But 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with a gluten allergy…it
ALL made sense. I was grateful to find the answer, but geez…it only took 15
years and a lot of embarrassing moments.
I say all this now because even though I’m 95% better, I
still have moments, especially when I get a little lazy with my eating…and then
of course my sweet husband has to haul butt home like Bo Duke.
We have a very open and honest marriage when it comes to
this topic. I know a lot of marriages that don’t even discuss their habits, but
well, that’s not us. We laugh a lot about our “moments.”
So one day last week I was in Starbucks where a lot of
Nashville celebrities like to hang out. I can only say thus far I have seen D
and F listers. And by that I mean this week I saw Colton Dixon from this last
American Idol and then last week I saw Jason Hervey. You may say, WHO?! But if
you were a child of the 80s, you’ll remember a very popular show, The Wonder
Years. This guy was the mean, yet cute, older brother. I always did like him.
Apparently even my mom did. I told her I saw him, and she goes, “Oh, the good
looking one?!” Yes mom, yes it was. : )
Although, he's not now. And man is he SHORT?! Of course I
didn’t say anything to him, he was in a meeting. But fast forward to about 45
minutes later.
While I’m sitting in Bux, I begin to feel the urge to use
the facilities. I had just gotten a massage, and the lady had told me that I
would begin expelling toxins – and let’s just say, the expelling was beginning.
I went to use the ladies room, and low and behold it was OUT
OF ORDER?! You have to know, I don’t’ go as soon as I feel the urge, I wait
until the very last possible second. I can’t even tell you why – other than I’m
afraid I’ll miss something. I have been that way since I was 3 years old. My
own husband will take whatever’s out of my hands and say, “GO!” because I’ve
begun to do, “the dance.”
So I walk up, see the sign, and panic. I begin pacing and
dancing outside the men’s restroom, but it’s locked too. And this guy must have
been in there for at least 10 minutes, and let me say how excited I was to use
the facilities after him.
I begin looking at my surroundings to see where I can bolt
to. But keep in mind, I’ve already asked a nice gentlemen to watch my stuff in
Bux while I step away to use the facilities. That means I’d have to go over
there, pack up my stuff and then run for the hills. I have waited too long at
this point to do that, so my only choice is to wait.
FINALLY, the guy leaves, I step in, hold my breath and do my
business.
I won’t go into any more details other than whoever used it
after me was going to hate me.
And guess who was waiting outside the door after me? Yep.
Wonder Years boy. And of course I did what any self-respecting adult would do,
I blamed it on the guy before me. And of course text my husband what happened. : )
Posted by
ashley
at
12:16 PM
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comments
I woke up very calm that day, as if it was
just another day. All of my bridesmaids came over for brunch that morning that my
amazing mom made – and I just remember laughing A LOT. Before I knew it, was
time to head over to the church and get ready and take pictures.
I actually didn’t cry at all the whole day. Everyone around
me kept tearing up – out of happiness…but I stayed calm. I just remember feeling
prepared for this day. I had waited a long time, and there was peace in knowing
that this was right. No need to cry, just a day of laughter and celebration.
My sweet Pappaw and Dad performed the wedding and even still
I kept it together. And the moment I walked down the aisle, when I saw Brent, rather
than tear up, I just grinned…a lot. I joke now that I thought he would cry when
I walked down the aisle. He didn’t. Such a let down (wink). He just grinned a
lot too.
This year has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Lots
of firsts we’ve experienced together (First Thanksgiving, First Christmas,
First Valentines’, First Dinners, First time to the State Fair, First moves, etc.)
And for the first 11 months, we have lived temporarily in
his grandmother’s house, which we were so very grateful to have while we got
our feet on the ground. Little did we know that a month later we would be
picking up those feet rather quickly and moving to Nashville – and moving into
another temporary living situation. We laugh that that has been our word for this
year – temporary. Yet, we know there is something quite permanent in always
being together. No matter where we go or where we live – he will be my home. It
will always be an adventure – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
He has given me the greatest memories this year. I am beyond
grateful for the gift that he is to me. The Lord knew exactly what He was doing
when He brought him into my life. I joke that it sure did take him (Brent) long
enough to get here. But it was the absolute best and perfect timing. God has a
way of knowing what He’s doing – even when I try and tell Him otherwise (and I
do that a lot).
I cannot wait to spend the next 70 years with you, Brent
Warren. Yes, you heard that right. There are 10 years between us, so you
better stay young. :)
I love you with all of my hearts. Happy Anniversary, Babe.
We made it 1 year – miracles still happen?!
228 honeymoon hours in London and Paris
414 iced Trenta unsweet no water green
teas
577 iced Venti coffees with LIGHT cream
Posted by
ashley
at
5:07 PM
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comments
To say we laughed a lot this week is an understatement. It’s
been a blast. And I was very sad to put her back on the plane. I did my best to
convince her to move here. But she said, “No way! You don’t have Central
Market!” : )
On Labor Day we took a journey over to Cincinnati to see my
parents, which is only 4 hours away. It’s taking some serious getting used to
the fact that if you drive 4 hours, you are actually OUTSIDE your state. In
Texas, you can drive 8 hours and STILL be in the great state of Texas.
Anyways, to drive to Cincinnati, you have to go through
Kentucky. And let me just say, I don’t have much of a good track record with
Kentuckians thus far.
When I went and picked up my sister from the airport, my
Texas driving skillz apparently upset a Kentucky “gentleman.” Unfortunately for
him, when he decided to “school” me on the art of driving, he didn’t quite know
what he was getting into. I might be little, but I’m mighty in spirit. Let’s
just say, he walked away quickly. And that’s without my 6’5” husband being
there. (Don’t worry…I behaved myself. He just had to be reminded how to speak
to a lady.)
So after visiting my parents, on our way back to Nashville,
we stopped in Kentucky to fuel up, literally and physically. While popping in
to the local “Krogers”…it’s customary to add an “s” in small towns by the way…I
was asked a question by a lady that I can honestly say I’ve never imagined
being asked in my life, nor ever really expected.
Keep in mind I’m dressed pretty trendy. On road trips you
never know with me, but this time I actually wasn’t in sweats. I was in cute
jeans, a t-shirt and a trendy scarf. I say all that to give you a point of
reference.
Right when I grabbed the Advil, I heard an “Excuse me.” I at
first thought she wanted around me, so I moved and said, “No problem.” But
THEN, she said, “No, I actually need to ask you a question.“ . . . (Uh oh)
“Do you know if jock itch is the same thing as athlete’s
foot?”
To say I was stunned is an understatement. First of all, why
in the WORLD do I look like I would know the answer to that?!?! And second of
all, I have NO earthly idea?! I am not a mom, a boy and I sure hope I don’t
look like I am plagued by either of those.
I think I just stared at her for a good minute and blinked –
and the first thing out of my mouth was, “OH! I don’t know…there should be some
gold bond over there somewhere, I’m sure that will help.” And then I quickly
backed up, found my sister and we RAN for the door.
My sister and I laughed the whole way back. That question
stayed on repeat for the rest of the drive. And the more tired you are…the
funnier it is. The best response was from Brent when I told him what I had been
asked: “OH MY LORD…NO they are NOT the same thing?!?!”
So, please don’t ever ask me that question. I have no
earthly idea. Nor want to.
Posted by
ashley
at
3:39 PM
0
comments
I’ve actually never been inside a Trader Joe’s until we
moved to Nashville. They had just opened one in Ft. Worth a couple of months
ago, but I never braved it. Word on the street was that the lines were out the
door and if you parked anywhere other than the parking lot, they were towing
cars left and right.
I had been quite fine with my Central Market. I calculated that
have probably been going to the one in Southlake at LEAST once a week since it
opened. I can honestly say no grocery store has ever made me happy. In fact, I
have always dreaded going. Up until Central Market opened.
It was my happy place. And once I went gluten-free 2 years
ago, it became even MORE of a happy place. I have lots of special memories in
that one in Southlake. Memories with my former roomies (we’d pack up and head
there and do our grocery shopping together) and our favorite cashier, Carlos,
memories with my mom – she even embarrassed me once in front of “hot guy”…never
did get his name.
And my sweetest memory of all is telling my husband, when we
were dating, that I loved him for the first time.
You see, we had only been dating a couple of weeks before he
said he loved me. Homeboy didn’t play around. For the first time in my life – I
didn’t say the words right back. I actually looked him dead in the eye, and
rather than say the words back, before I could stop myself, I said, “I’m going
to have to think about that.” And you know what? He looked me right in the eye
and said, “I understand. Take all the time you need.” Yep, I love that man.
So one day, a week later, after we spent the whole day
together – we pulled into the Central Market parking lot and before we got out,
I said, “I need to tell you something.” . . . “I love you.” No pomp and
circumstance, no fireworks, no angels singing “Hallelujah.” Just the sweet
realization that you would never say those words to any other love interest for
the rest of your life – except that person – the love of your life.
Ok, this is getting too serious because it’s making me tear
up.
Remember how I said moving is a crisis? Still true.
So I say all that to pick up a few days later when I went to
Trader Joe’s. Central Market is a Texas thing. Now more than ever, oh how I
wish they would branch out. Believe me, my prayer life has just increased.
People had told me that Trader Joe’s was even better – but
THEY LIED!
Brent and I walk in (he’s sweet like that to do the shopping
with me)…and as we start walking around, I get overwhelmed. Aisle after aisle I
start to realize how DIFFERENT it actually is. And then I’m so thankful I had
made a last minute run to Central before I left. You should have seen the look
on Brent’s face when I brought grocery bags home to my parents for him to
somehow fit into our already full car (sheepish grin).
I walk down the next aisle and am overcom
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