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iConfess: A shower that turned me into a ‘lesbian’
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I am 25, my wife is 24, and we’ve been together for the past 7 years. We have a wonderful child, aged six, who means the world to me.
Two years ago we decided after a lot of talking that we really wanted to be married. It was the most wonderful day of my life. We had our rings blessed in church, and all our friends and family said we were a perfect family.
We’d been saving up for a holiday so we decided to go Greece for a fortnight, our child stayed with an aunt so it was a honeymoon for us.
The holiday rep in our resort was great fun, she really made the holiday and everyone liked her. One night she said she was going to take all the women out for a night on the town without their partners.
My wife went and said she had a wonderful night. The next day she was quiet and the rest of the holiday just seemed to lose its sparkle.
When we got home she told me she had an affair with the rep, and she asked me to move out as she’d fallen out of love with me.
I couldn’t believe what she was saying, but this other woman came back at the end of the season. I called round the house to see the the little one a fortnight ago. The kids weren’t there but she and this woman were in bed together.
The bottom line is now she’s saying it was all a big mistake, she still loves me but also loves the other girl and wants us to get back together, but here is the problem she says she wants to be able to carry on with her lesbian affair on the side saying its not a threat to our relationship?
All people are different, and not everyone can have the "perfect & normal" family that is accepted.
Do you love your wife enough to give her what she wants? And could you allow her to have sex with another woman as well as yourself?
If the answer is yes to those questions, then give it a go. Your wife could just be going through a faze at the moment, that she will soon come out of. If you are there for her, making every minute you spend together amazing, and reminding her how good hetrosexual sex is, then when she comes out of the phase you will still be there for her.
Give it a go, what have you got to lose?
I cannot believe that you are seriously considering allowing your wife to continue with her lesbian affair while she is still married to you.
Would you allow her to continue with an affair with another man if she told you that she still loves you, and it wasn't a threat to your relationship? No..I didn't think so, not unless you're a complete idiot!
An affair is an affair, regardless as to whether your wife is sleeping with another woman or another man.
If you don't draw the line here and make her chose between the two of you, then where is all of this going to end?
Get some control, and don't be a fool. No matter how much you love her and your child, she is cheating on you and asking the unthinkable, that you will allow her to continue this other relationship.
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang . It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.
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v5.00a - 0.59962s [RUM] 2022-09-05 20:49:15
DEAR DEIDRE Every night, I have to listen to my ex have sex with my housemate
DEIDRE'S STORIES Wes considers telling his best friend Amber how he really feels
I'M LONELY I feel so lost and aimless 15 years after affair led to divorce
LET ME DOWN I had anxiety attack at party and my friend has not bothered to check on me
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M having a lesbian affair with my mother-in-law, and I am terrified my husband will find out.
Last year, he and I moved in with his parents so we’d be in a bubble for lockdown and they could help with the kids.
Most people moan or joke about their mother-in-law but I’ve always got on really well with mine.
She has a great sense of humour, is kind and looks great for 53.
She had my husband very young — he’s 35 and I’m 40.
She and my father-in-law have had a rocky marriage for years, and just before Christmas they split up, and he moved out.
One night, my husband was at work and the kids were in bed when she suggested we have a drink together and watch a film.
I noticed she was really dolled up and looked beautiful.
In the middle of the film she started crying and confessed she’s a lesbian — that was why her marriage had ended. I comforted and cuddled her, and then she kissed me.
For the support pack Want To Have A Baby?, email deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk.
And read my advice on Facebook, Twitter and at thesun.co.uk/deidre
It felt strange, but really nice, so I kissed her back. She led me up to her bedroom and I didn’t protest. I’ve never had sex with a woman before but it was amazing and so intense.
Since then, we’ve kept on doing it whenever we can. As soon as my husband leaves the room, we have a kiss, and sometimes I’ll sneak into her bed when he’s sleeping.
One night, I fell asleep in her arms. The only reason we didn’t get caught was because my husband had a lie-in.
My feelings for her are growing stronger and I’m sure my husband will notice the looks between us, or catch us in bed. I want to be with her but don’t want to hurt him.
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: You know that if your husband finds out this will destroy not only your relationship with him, but his relationship with his mother – and your whole family.
He will be devastated that the two people he loves and trusts most in the world have let him down.
His mum may have turned to you for comfort, but encourage her to find support elsewhere and a relationship with somebody else.
Do you really think this relationship has a future? If not, maybe best stop now.
My support pack Can’t Be Faithful? may help to clarify things for you.
As for your marriage, are you still happy with your husband?
I’d advise you both to move back to your own home as soon as you can, and work on rebuilding your relationship.
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