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When your 10-year-old screams from the bathroom that they need your help right now, you moan and grumble to yourself that you thought potty training was supposed to free you from these particular shackles. What you don’t do is assume that they’re about to ask you if they can shave off all their pubic hair .
Welcome to the new world order, where pediatricians are now seeing girls who’ve just hit puberty grooming their nether regions. The docs say younger girls are being pushed to go bare because of social media, peer pressure and even internet porn .
But before you start locking down all your kid’s gadgets, let me offer up a slightly less terrifying scenario, courtesy of my own bathroom.
A new survey shows that 62 percent of women prefer to completely remove their pubic hair, while 84 percent say they do at least some grooming. I fall into camp two, someone who has trimmed the bush for years. We have a relatively open-door bathroom policy in our house, and my 10-year-old has walked in on me ‘scaping the pubes a few times over the years.
So when I got that scream from across the house, “Mom, can I get rid of my pubic hair?” wasn’t totally off-the-wall.
Her hair had been filling in slowly for more than a year and had now reached a point where it was poking out all sides of her underwear. Her request was simple: “Can I shave this?” she asked, pointing at her naked (hair-covered) crotch.
Of course I launched into a litany of reasons that it’s perfectly normal, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to get rid of it, and no one should be seeing that part of her body right now but her and blah, blah, blah, insert droning mom voice here. That part wasn’t new to her; she has several puberty books on her shelves , and I’d explained what pubic hair is the first time she found me trimming.
Her response was pretty much, “Yeah, I know, so, uh, can we talk about shaving now?”
This was not going away. So I asked the obvious question: “Why do you want to shave it?”
“It feels weird,” was the answer, “and it gets stuck in my underwear.”
Hard to argue with that. It’s exactly why I trim — well, that and the fact that long curlies getting stuck in the adhesive on the underside of a light-day pad is pure hell. And while I don’t remember much about being her age, I do remember it being really freakin’ weird to have my body changing in a million ways that I couldn’t control.
This was not to make her look like something out of a porno flick. This was not because of social media or her peers. This was because she’s a kid who is being made uncomfortable by something that doesn’t need to make her uncomfortable.
The first time, I did the shaving to teach her how it’s done. Heeding the warnings that kids tend to get infections from shaving because they’re not terribly good at it, I then picked up a grooming kit that was less than $25, with both an adjustable blade and a guard. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s asked to shave again — nor am I pushing her to do it again — but if she does, I’ll be teaching her how to use the kit.
Because growing up is hard. If I can make it just a little bit easier, I will.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below:
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When your 10-year-old screams from the bathroom that they need your help right now, you moan and grumble to yourself that you thought potty training was supposed to free you from these particular shackles. What you don’t do is assume that they’re about to ask you if they can shave off all their pubic hair .
Welcome to the new world order, where pediatricians are now seeing girls who’ve just hit puberty grooming their nether regions. The docs say younger girls are being pushed to go bare because of social media, peer pressure and even internet porn .
But before you start locking down all your kid’s gadgets, let me offer up a slightly less terrifying scenario, courtesy of my own bathroom.
A new survey shows that 62 percent of women prefer to completely remove their pubic hair, while 84 percent say they do at least some grooming. I fall into camp two, someone who has trimmed the bush for years. We have a relatively open-door bathroom policy in our house, and my 10-year-old has walked in on me ‘scaping the pubes a few times over the years.
So when I got that scream from across the house, “Mom, can I get rid of my pubic hair?” wasn’t totally off-the-wall.
Her hair had been filling in slowly for more than a year and had now reached a point where it was poking out all sides of her underwear. Her request was simple: “Can I shave this?” she asked, pointing at her naked (hair-covered) crotch.
Of course I launched into a litany of reasons that it’s perfectly normal, and she shouldn’t feel like she has to get rid of it, and no one should be seeing that part of her body right now but her and blah, blah, blah, insert droning mom voice here. That part wasn’t new to her; she has several puberty books on her shelves , and I’d explained what pubic hair is the first time she found me trimming.
Her response was pretty much, “Yeah, I know, so, uh, can we talk about shaving now?”
This was not going away. So I asked the obvious question: “Why do you want to shave it?”
“It feels weird,” was the answer, “and it gets stuck in my underwear.”
Hard to argue with that. It’s exactly why I trim — well, that and the fact that long curlies getting stuck in the adhesive on the underside of a light-day pad is pure hell. And while I don’t remember much about being her age, I do remember it being really freakin’ weird to have my body changing in a million ways that I couldn’t control.
This was not to make her look like something out of a porno flick. This was not because of social media or her peers. This was because she’s a kid who is being made uncomfortable by something that doesn’t need to make her uncomfortable.
The first time, I did the shaving to teach her how it’s done. Heeding the warnings that kids tend to get infections from shaving because they’re not terribly good at it, I then picked up a grooming kit that was less than $25, with both an adjustable blade and a guard. She hasn’t gotten to the point where she’s asked to shave again — nor am I pushing her to do it again — but if she does, I’ll be teaching her how to use the kit.
Because growing up is hard. If I can make it just a little bit easier, I will.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below:
The stories you care about, delivered daily.
SheKnows is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2022 SheMedia, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
July 22, 2021, 4:30 PM · 19 min read
dakota-syke-illo - Credit: Images used in photo illustration by SMG/ZUMA; hoo-me.com/MediaPunch/IPx/AP
From left to right: adult performers Kasey Storm, Alana Evans, Cher Adel, Kianna Bradley, and Dakota Skye. - Credit: Kiana Bradley
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On June 9th, 2021, police in Los Angeles ’s Skid Row, a neighborhood frequented by homeless people and substance abusers, responded to a call from a man in a trailer. The man said that a woman had stopped by hours earlier requesting to take a nap. He obliged, offering her a spot on his couch, but when he checked on her in the morning, she wasn’t breathing.
The woman’s name was Lauren Scott, and she loved karaoke, Hilary Duff, and once harbored dreams of becoming a marine biologist. But she was better known as Dakota Skye . Diminutive and flaxen-haired, Skye had starred in nearly 300 movies since entering the industry eight years ago, when she was 19, from Couples Bang the Babysitter 10 to Young Girl Seductions 9; even though she was 27 at the time of her death, practically Methusaleh-esque in porn years, her petite stature (she was just five feet tall) and omnipresent cherubic expression led to her being primarily cast in teen roles.
According to the L.A. County Department of Medical Examiner- Coroner, Skye’s cause of death has not been determined, and the office refused to release documents related to her death to Rolling Stone until the case was closed. But it was well-known in adult circles that she struggled with substance abuse. At the time of her death, the press reported she was homeless, which was not the case; estranged from her husband, she was living with her boyfriend in Woodland Hills, California. But she had fallen from her previous heights.
At the peak of her time in porn, Skye was represented by one of the profession’s top agents, appeared on hundreds of DVD box covers, and had been nominated for a number of awards, including the prestigious AVN Best New Starlet award in 2015. But over the past few years, she hadn’t been booking many roles, garnering headlines mostly for her arrests (including for domestic violence in 2017, a charge that was later dropped) and her erratic behavior on social media, including, most recently, flashing her breasts in front of a George Floyd mural in May 2021. She also struggled with drug and alcohol addiction, leading her to ping-pong around for years, borrowing money and capitalizing on favors for work. “She was so big in our industry,” says Kianna Bradley, an adult actress who befriended and later mentored Skye. “ And she died in someone’s RV with a man she did not know, because she had nowhere else to go.”
Considering she had not been highly active in porn for years, some members of the adult community, sensitive to how they are depicted in mainstream media, were careful to separate themselves from Skye, arguing that hers was a tragic yet all too common story across the city — not just for those involved in porn. “A person with known addiction issues overdosed. It happens daily in Los Angeles,” one insider told me. “It’s a sad person with drug problems who died, by all accounts I’ve heard.”
Others, however, argue that Skye’s fate is reflective of issues inherent to the adult industry, such as the lack of systemic, institutional support for those struggling with mental illness and substance abuse. “When I was Dakota’s age, I was so fucked up, I was missing shoots and they finally told me, ‘We’re not hiring you anymore. Go get help. We’ll put you in rehab and give you help,'” says Bradley. “That doesn’t happen anymore. They used her up and pushed her aside.”
Skye was born in Clearwater, Florida to an alcoholic mother who would later die in her 40s and a father whom she barely knew. Her childhood was marked by sexual abuse, and her mother sporadically going on alcohol binges. “She had a very, very bad upbringing,” her husband, Zachary Lecompte-Goble, tells Rolling Stone. When she was in her early teens, she went to live with her father’s family in southern Ohio, which is where she met an older boyfriend who encouraged her to start camming when she was just 16, below the legal age of entry, according to Lecompte-Goble. When she was 19, she launched her porn career in Florida after being recruited by her first agent, John O’Byrne of East Coast Talent. “ Smaller models end up doing well — the petite girls do well,” O’Byrne says. “The industry likes the [juxtaposition] of tiny girl/big penis. She had a great work ethic in the beginning. She’d show up and shoot and they’d be like ‘Oh my god, she killed it. We want to book her for four more scenes.'” Within the first six months, he says, she was on more than 100 box covers.
According to Lecompte-Goble, Skye told him that when she first entered the industry, she had expressed to O’Byrne that she was only comfortable with booking girl/girl shoots — a fairly common ask for young women new to porn — only for her agent to immediately start booking her roles in boy/girl scenes. “It was certainly a bait-and-switch,” says Lecompte-Goble. (O’Byrne denied any memory of this, saying Skye had requested to do boy/girl scenes off the bat.)
Skye enjoyed her work, and by all accounts was good at it. “She looks very similar to Dakota Fanning and that was part of the niche she was working,” says Alana Evans, Skye’s friend and the president of the Adult Performance Artists’ Guild. “That bratty blonde is what it was about her personality that [viewers] enjoyed.” After about two and a half years, she left East Coast Talent and moved to Los Angeles, the epicenter of the porn world, to work with superstar adult agent Mark Spiegler.
Skye was fearless and generous to her friends when she could be, with Bradley recounting that one time, when Bradley was auditioning for a marketing job at a club, Skye stripped down to her underwear, climbed onto a table, and started belting to lure in patrons. “She was singing her little heart out and she can’t sing a lick,” Bradley recalls. “Because she wanted to help me get that job.” When she was sober, she was bubbly and free-spirited and game for anything. Director and screenwriter Jacky St. James tells Rolling Stone that at the height of Skye’s success, she once called her to do an uncredited extra role, which required her to don an unflattering costume to play a nerdy college student. “She le
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