Sharing A Bed With Stepmom

Sharing A Bed With Stepmom

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Sandi2 ·

21/01/2019 14:12

Hiya
DS (11) and DD (7) see their dad and stepmum every other weekend, and I recently found out that they all sleep together in the lounge (he has a fully furnished four bedroom house) and share space and duvets. I'm not comfortable with the idea of them sharing effectively a bed in this way, wanted to check what others thought? Am I being unreasonable or am I within my rights to expect that the children sleep in their own bedrooms? I do feel that it would be considered highly inappropriate for the children to share a bed/room with me and my partner (if I had one) so why is it different the other way round?

Holidayshopping ·

21/01/2019 14:14

How bizarre-do all 4 of them camp out in the lounge on airbeds when there are beds in all of the bedrooms?

Doyoumind ·

21/01/2019 14:14

I don't think we have the full story here.

floodypuddle ·

21/01/2019 14:32

Surely this is a one off 'sleepover' type situation? As much as I love my step children I wouldn't want their little feet in my back while I'm sleeping.

babysharkah ·

21/01/2019 14:34

Was it for fun - like a sleepover type thing or is it all the time? What are they sleeping on?

WorraLiberty ·

21/01/2019 14:36

They have an actual bed in the lounge that sleeps 4?

Sandi2 ·

21/01/2019 14:39

It happens every time they spend the weekend there, they sleep on duvets on the floor in a row. Dad, stepmum, DD, DS in that order.
I found out because DD complained she had not had enough sleep because DS had kept stealing the duvet. On questioning them both it seems this is the standard sleeping arrangement every time they visit

WorraLiberty ·

21/01/2019 14:43

It sounds like fun!

I'm pretty sure at their age if they didn't want to sleep in the lounge, they'd go to bed.

Especially the 11yr old.

Your thread title is very misleading though.

UnicornSlaughters ·

21/01/2019 14:46

Why?!

I'd repeat to your ex what you've just said here - DD was complaining she was tired because DS kept stealing the duvet....then wait for him to explain the sleeping arrangements?

Sandi2 ·

21/01/2019 14:53

I have to admit I am more bothered because stepmum is under the same duvet. Reassure me here - if you think I am wrong to be uncomfortable with it let me know.

user1486915549 ·

21/01/2019 14:54

So who’s in all the bedrooms? 🤷‍♀️

Giesabreak ·

21/01/2019 14:56

It sounds weird that they do this all the time, but if your actual issue is about the SM , why is that? Is that a fairly new relationship? How long have the kids know her?

Sandi2 ·

21/01/2019 15:00

No one in the bedrooms - all cosied up in the lounge on a Friday and Saturday night

floodypuddle ·

21/01/2019 15:06

I'm willing to bet this is your ex's idea as he sees it as blending the family and their SM would love it if you said you would prefer beds.

I dream of the day that DP's ex tells him he can't bring the kids in the bathroom when I'm in the shower, because me telling him falls on deaf ears. In his eyes we are 'all family' and he doesn't know what my problem is.

Maybe just ask him about it like you think it's a bit weird?

Sandi2 ·

21/01/2019 15:06

SM is fairly new, from the Philippines and there have been issues with inappropriate touching/tickling in the past that ex has put down to 'culturally it is acceptable to tickle everywhere " and I have had to make clear that tickling on and around their underwear zone is not acceptable in our culture and therefore has to stop. Apparently it has but has left me ultra sensitive as regards boundaries and so on

HollyBollyBooBoo ·

21/01/2019 15:10

Does seem weird. Had a similar situation with my DD and her SM - the SM slept in one room with the kids and DDs dad slept on his own in the master bedroom!

Completely threw DD as she's an only child and is used to her own space.

HeckyPeck ·

21/01/2019 15:10

I dream of the day that DP's ex tells him he can't bring the kids in the bathroom when I'm in the shower, because me telling him falls on deaf ears. In his eyes we are 'all family' and he doesn't know what my problem is.

:-0 lock the door!! If it doesn’t have a lock, get one. You’re DP is being weird.

At first I thought no harm done & they’re all cosying up and having fun but it sounds like your DD doesn’t want to sleep in the lounge? I’d tell her she can go to sleep in her bed and if they say no you’ll come and get her.

floodypuddle ·

21/01/2019 15:38

After what you said about the tickling I would say no chance. I was sort of struggling to see why it was making you uncomfortable but after that there is no way.

Hecky - I do lock the door but occasionally forget or I end up with them banging to get in / kicking up a fuss and I get quizzed about why I bothered. To be fair it's been a lot better recently because i told the children directly they are too old to see me naked and if they need to go, go now before I get in . They listen more than he d
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