Sexy Turn On
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Sexy Turn On
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Philip Ellis
Philip Ellis is a freelance writer and journalist from the United Kingdom covering pop culture, relationships and LGBTQ+ issues.
Jordyn Taylor
Jordyn Taylor is the Deputy Editor of Content at Men's Health.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Warning! Some of these are NSFW. 😈
Dating in the pandemic is hard. Hooking up is even harder, if not downright impossible. Right now, for a lot of people, sexting is as far as things can go. And if that is the case—if some SMS action is the closest we can get to a hookup—then composing a message that makes the recipient hot under the collar without venturing into cheesy or sleazy territory will become a more necessary art form than ever.
And no, we're not talking about unsolicited dick pics here. While there's definitely a time and a place for sending nudes , there's also a lot to be said for, you know, using your words. FYI, there's no need to be embarrassed about sexting, because (almost) everyone does it; according to 2015 research , more than 80% of people had sexted in the previous year. That being said, it can be hard to know what to say. That's why we're here to help you out with some examples of super hot sexts to sent your partner.
For starters, we spoke to a number of men and women about what makes the perfect sext, and they shared some examples of the messages that have sent them wild—and why.
Alex, 32, says the hottest message he ever received was: "I'm going to do things to you your 15-year-old self could only dream of." Meanwhile James, 25, says he lost it when he received this take on the lewd lyrics to the Khia classic: "I'm gonna get all up in that neck, back, bussy, and crack."
Other messages depicted entire fantasy scenarios, to really set the mood. "My now-boyfriend messaged me saying he was going to go through my clothes and pick outfits for me to try on and tell me to bend over in front of him to pick up what I'd taken off," says Alex, 24. "It was the prospect of being dressed up and admired... and the dominance took away the pressure of me having to curate how I looked, and then also there was the ego boost of just being admired and of performing."
A number of women said they appreciated sexts that focused on their pleasure. Gabrielle, 26, recalls this sexy message: "I want to capture your tongue with my lips, and feel my own name reverberate in my mouth when you moan it as I make you cum." Hayley, 31, remembers being similarly excited (and surprised) by a text that prioritized her desires: "A guy I had been seeing for a few weeks texted me 'I'm going to make you come harder tonight than you did last week.' It was almost shocking to get a text from a guy that was focused on what he was going to do to me, and not the other way around."
I can't wait to see those gorgeous eyes/lips/legs of yours again.
I get so turned on thinking about you.
I can't believe I get to kiss you/taste you/touch you/fuck you.
I'm touching myself and thinking of you.
I'm wearing those black briefs you love, and nothing else.
I just got out the shower and I'm still naked.
I'm imagining how it would feel to be inside you right now.
I'm imagining how you would look riding me right now.
I want to take off your clothes the second I walk through the door.
I'm already hard thinking about what I'm going to do to you later.
God, I can't wait to kiss you/taste you/touch you/fuck you.
That pussy is going to taste so fucking good tonight.
I'm going to make you feel so fucking good tonight.
I can't wait to feel you inside of me.
I'm going to bend you over the bed/couch/table and have my way with you.
I'm going to make you cum so hard tonight.
Be a good girl and make your pussy wet for me.
You can't wait for me to come over and fuck you, isn't that right?
Your last photo/message made me hard. What do you have to say for yourself?
You're about to make me come. What do you have to say for yourself?
Tell me how you're touching yourself right now.
I'll be a good boy and do what you say.
Do whatever you want with me tonight.
Tell me what turns you on the most.
What do you think about while I'm fucking you?
What do you fantasize about when you touch yourself?
I'd love to tie you up and spank you.
I want to pull your hair while I take you from behind.
I'm want to blindfold you and tease you until you're begging me for more.
I'd love to watch you get fucked by another person.
Would you ever want people to watch us have sex?
What toys do you want us to use together?
I still get turned on thinking about _____.
I can't wait to kiss you/taste you/touch you/fuck you again.
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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Try these unassuming techniques to get things going.
It doesn’t take much to get a man to start thinking about sex. (Let’s be real: Most men can get erect looking at a particularly plump tomato.) But it’s a little more complicated for women.
Scientifically speaking, certain critical switches must be triggered before your partner's brain orders the release of vasoactive intestinal peptide, the chemical that increases blood flow to the pelvic area, swelling her inner and outer labia and causing her to feel the gnawing tension of sexual desire. Though the intricacies of brain chemistry may be difficult to grasp without a medical degree, there are still plenty of easy, everyday things you can do to get the requisite juices flowing.
There are two overarching components to turning your partner on. The first is to start outside of the bedroom. When you give yourself an entire day to turn your partner on, as opposed to 15 minutes with your clothes off, you have a much better chance that your partner will be in the mood (and will also orgasm ). Thus, throughout the day, help your partner feel loved, desired, and sexy, and she’ll be reared up and ready to go the moment you two set foot in the bedroom.
The second thing is to focus on intimacy and emotional connection. Sex isn’t all about the physical aspects, especially when you’re in a longterm, committed relationship with your partner. Feeling connected, loved, and desired all impact if she’ll get turned on and if your partner will want to have sex with you.
So, here are 16 ways to emotionally connect with your partner and turn her on both inside and outside the boudoir.
There are over 40,000 nerve endings in the palm of your partner’s hand. Don’t be afraid to gently take hold of it as you’re walking across the street or watching a movie. Besides, hand holding is objectively adorable. It’s a subtle form of PDA that shows you really do love your partner, and you’re not afraid who else sees.
“Eye gazing can be very sensual and is a great way to increase arousal,” says sex and relationship expert Shamyra Howard , LCSW. Choose a time when you both are feeling relaxed. Then take two minutes to stare into each other's eyes without talking. Go ahead and discuss the experience afterwards. “Allow yourselves to be vulnerable, accept the awkwardness you might feel, laugh, and return to each other's eyes.” Eye gazing is actually a fundamental component of tantric sex because it’s such a powerful and effective way to enhance intimacy.
“People often mention that they would like more physical affection from their partner that doesn't include sex,” Howard explains. Next time you're with your partner, share a hug for twenty seconds. “Hugs are soothing, increase connection, and they don't have to lead to sex,” she says. The point is to show how much you desire your partner outside of a sexual setting, which, ironically, will be a turn on for your partner to have more sex!
Using your own hands to give your partner an erotic massage—i.e., a massage that releases tension and turns her on—won't hurt your cause, either. Check out our guide to mastering the art of erotic massage . You can thank us later.
Instead of trying to turn her on over the course of a few minutes, turn her on slowly throughout the day. You know your partner better than anyone, so hopefully you have a sense of how overtly sexual you should be, but if you aren’t 100% confident, start off with cute, innocuous texts like, “Can’t wait for you to come home tonight.” Over the course of the day, let the conversation naturally evolve to a more sexual level: "It's going to be so sexy having your naked body next to mine"—or something along those lines.
Take a stroll along a beach, a lake, or a river. Sit next to a birdbath. Fill up the tub. Studies show that simply being in the proximity of water creates a relaxing effect that may clam any libido-killing jitters. It's probably not a coincidence that commercials for erectile dysfunction medication feature so many shots of couples walking down the coast or gazing out at the ocean.
Activities that produce adrenaline make us hyperaware. Breathing quickens and the heart begins to race, things that are also associated with sexual arousal. Roller coasters, zip lines, and scary movies can all be a turn-on. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology even found that couples who participated in such novel activities experienced greater overall relationship quality, which of course translates into the bedroom. Just make sure both you can hold your lunch down before strapping into anything extreme.
Certain scents trigger sexual arousal, but which scents do the trick can differ for men and women, according to research conducted by Dr. Alan R. Hirsch, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, Illinois. What aromas turn women on? Hirsch found that cucumber and licorice lead to increased vaginal blood flow.
According to a report in the Journal of Sex Research , women think about sex an average of 19 times a day. According to a Men’s Health survey, one in three women have in mind something they’ve been dying to try in bed but are scared to bring up with things start to get hot under the covers. There are plenty of ways to let your partner know you’re open to indulging her fantasies. Watch porn together. Gift her a book of erotic stories. You could also—and this may sound crazy—just ask her if there’s anything adventurous she’s been itching to try in the bedroom. Don't be afraid to communicate.
There’s no physiological response—at least sexually—to low light, but according to sex researcher and author Ian Kerner, Ph.D., turning down the lights can make people feel less self-conscious, and thus more relaxed. Putting that dimmer switch to good use is a no-brainer.
Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that physical activity is able to prime a person’s body for sexual activity. It makes the body more sensitive to touch by revving up a network of neurons known as the sympathetic nervous system, which controls arousal. Go for a run, take a bike ride, hit the gym. Activity outside can lead to activity in the bedroom. Just ask power couple CJ Koegel, a fitness model, trainer, and inventor, and Bree Branker, a former Broadway dancer and Akins Army trainer .
According to the Journal of Family Issues , couples that clean together report more relationship satisfaction. The study’s author, Adam Galovan, Ph.D., says that women can equate your level of interest in helping out around the house with your level of interest in them.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. By that same token, abstinence can make the sex grow stronger. Experts say that taking a short-term break from all forms of sex —including masturbation—can help both you and your partner rediscover the thrill of the chase.
A study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan found that a good night’s sleep can boost a woman’s libido . After participants tracked their sleep and sex drives for two weeks, the study concluded that for women who are in a relationship, an extra hour of sleep increased their desire for sex the next day by 14 percent. “The driving force could be biological,” says study author David Kalmbach, Ph.D. “Some prior research has shown that sleep increases sex hormones, which can influence feelings of sexual desire.”
Research from the Netherlands suggests that romantic movies can heighten arousal in women, which isn’t necessarily the case for me. According to the study’s author, Marieke Dewitte, Ph.D., women’s sexual motivation can tend to stem from relationship-based content rather than from scenes that are overtly sexual, which are what tend to get men revved up.
A University of Brunswick study revealed that after 15 years together, couples said they only knew about 26 percent of what their partner disliked. This doesn’t need to be the case. Pour a glass of wine, grab a pen and paper, and start talking. A “yes, no, maybe” list for the bedroom is a surefire way to foster a sense of comfort and understanding, which will lead to better sex.
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Right this way for some A+ arousal hacks.
Unfortunately for all of us, sometimes getting in the mood for sex isn’t as simple as wanting to be in the mood for sex. From date nights where a consensual hookup is 100 percent on the menu to stressed-out moments that could benefit from an orgasmic release , there are plenty of times when our minds want to do the deed but our bodies act like they literally could not care less. Très rude. But all hope is not lost! Learning how to get horny when you’re sorta not feeling it is not only possible, but it’s a v good skill to have for when you know you need an orgasm, but your vagina gives you the silent treatment.
While you always have the option to *not* have sex—whether that’s solo or with a partner—that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes you want to have it, but you simply don’t feel sexually stimulated. “The body can be a very complicated place,” says sex therapist Ashley D. Murphy , explaining that there are a lot of different factors that come into play when getting horny.
“For one, each of our bodies is unique,” Murphy explains. “For two, the three sexual powerhouse hormones—estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone—affect the sexual desire and arousal one experiences when wanting to be intimate with oneself or with partner(s).” When these hormones get out of balance—like when you’re stressed or sleep-deprived—your ability to become aroused can quickly go MIA.
The good news is there are plenty of ways to hack your own horny, even if you don’t initially feel it. To help, we’ve consulted some experts on what you can do to go from 0 to 100 when the usual moves aren't quite cutting it. From sultry breathing techniques to sexy games, here’s how to quickly get in the mood for a session that doesn’t skimp on the sexiness.
Yup, there really are apps out there that can help you harness your horniness. If you’re in more of an “I want to learn how to rediscover my sexuality and embrace my eroticism” quest (versus just like, “I need to get off right TF now”), Emjoy is definitely a good place to start. The app’s goal is to help women reach their sexual peaks by learning all about arousal, self-esteem, and desires through personalized, guided journeys. Oh, and there’s also a section where you can listen to sexy stories which is *chef’s kiss* in a pinch.
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