Sexual Grinding
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Sexual Grinding
Medically Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on June 27, 2021
Dry humping generally involves rubbing or grinding your genitals against your partner’s body or genitals. In many cases, one or both partners are at least partially clothed. Since dry humping can lead to orgasm, it can be pleasurable without the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), or during times you would prefer not to have sex. Dry humping may happen in addition to sex with penetration, or may act as foreplay. Dry humping can also be done alone by rubbing your clothed genitals against a pillow or piece of furniture.
Like many sexual acts , there are plenty of alternate words for dry humping. It’s known as frottage , dry sex, outercourse, and grinding. While everyone might go about it slightly differently, there’s one common theme: the act is “dry.” Body fluids are not exchanged between partners.
Dry humping doesn’t involve direct genital contact or penetration. Usually, partners still have some clothing on, and no body fluids are exchanged. The lack of skin-to-skin contact provides some important protection from ST D s and pregnancy for many people.
When performed as a solo act, dry humping is another form of masturbation. It is an act of self-stimulation of the genitals. In this case, dry humping may also be called bed humping or pillow humping.
Dry humping is commonly performed by younger people or people who want to wait to have fully penetrative sex. This does not make it a “lesser” sexual act. In fact, many people may find that they prefer dry humping to other sexual acts because it provides more effective stimulation. In particular, people with clitorises sometimes find that dry humping provides a comfortable balance of stimulation without over stimulating themselves.
It may be simplest to try it on your own first. In your bed or somewhere comfortable and private, you can try humping a pillow, cushion, or blanket.
If you decide to try dry humping with a partner, talk about your limits in advance. Some people may view dry humping as an act of foreplay, while others may not want it to lead to penetration or other types of sex. Discuss your boundaries and expectations to make sure that you are on the same page and that you have full consent before dry humping with a partner.
As with any sex act, it’s important to take some precautions when dry humping, with a partner or on your own. Because of the friction that dry humping can generate, wear soft, smooth clothing to prevent chafing on your genitals or inner thighs.
Furthermore, it’s possible for dry humping to stop being “dry” if you aren’t cautious. STDs are typically spread through skin-to-skin contact. The less clothing separating you from a partner, the more likely that your genitals will accidentally come into contact. It’s a good idea to have other forms of pregnancy and ST D protection on hand. This preparation can help you stay safe in the moment if you decide to go further.
Cosmopolitan : “You Can Quote Me on This: Dry Humping Is Better Than Sex.”
Dictionary.com: “Sexual intercourse.”
Go Ask Alice (Columbia): “Bed humping = Bad habit?”
Go Ask Alice (Columbia): “What is outercourse?”
Scarleteen: “Quickies: Sexual Consent Basics.”
Sexography: “The Dry Humping Guide for Adults.”
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
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Whenever we think of the art of grinding, we usually associate it with adolescents. But in reality, it’s something that all of us use all the time. As a girl, there’s a thin line between being classy and being crass. Of course, you can outrightly grind with any guy you like, but do you really want to be so obvious about it?! Instead, learn how to grind with a guy discreetly and in the sexiest manner and see where it goes!
If you want to grind with a guy and look good while doing it, you need to know a few things to do it the right way. And most importantly, never be too obvious when you’re trying to grind with a guy, otherwise It’ll just make you seem too easy to get.
Now all of us know this, but for the uninitiated girls, grinding is the art of moving your butt around a guy’s crotch, especially while dancing with him. Sounds quite bold, yes, but it’s something that comes naturally between opposite sexes when they’re aroused by each other.
Many girls wonder about the right way to grind and look good while doing it. But understanding how to grind with a guy needs no lessons. You can do it any way you like and the guy will still love it.
But what matters is how easy you’re going to play and give in to a guy’s crotch. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a man who’s not yet yours and hook him hard ]
Grinding doesn’t need to be full-on pornographic. There are ways to learn how to grind with a guy and not make everyone else see what you’re doing.
Of course, you can grind away in public if you’re subtle enough but if you’re in private? You grind away, girl, and don’t care whether you’re being subtle or not!
But, if you are in a club or bar and you’re grinding up a storm, you can be subtle by making your moves slow, small, and perhaps sitting or standing behind a booth or some kind of divider. That way, it’ll just look like you’re dancing and he’ll be able to enjoy what you’re doing. [Read: 25 secrets to seduce before a kiss and turn a guy on while kissing him ]
Learning how to grind with a guy is all fine and no, it’s not bad! But, if you’re in public and you’re all out grinding on a guy’s lap, especially a guy you don’t know so well, it may be perceived as being “too much” by the guy or those around you.
Does it matter to you? That’s up to you.
But, if you want this dalliance to turn into more than just a one night stand, be very careful with the grinding action you indulge in. [Read: How to be more sexual and fall in love with the sexy side of you ]
Of course, if you’re with the guy and you’re both out for a night in the club, you can dance with your man and grind on his lap all you want. You’re together and you know where you stand. But, if you’ve just met this guy and you don’t want to give him the impression that you’re easy, tread carefully.
Should we have to have this conversation? Hell no! But, we all know that’s the way of the world. But, if it doesn’t matter to you or you’re not interested in more with this guy, make your own choices and do whatever you want to do. It’s your life at the end of the day and you know who you are! [Read: How to hook up with a guy for the night and do it the right way ]
If you want to know how to grind with a guy, arouse him, and feel great doing it, here are a few tips that can make all the difference between a hard-to-get girl and an easy-to-get girl.
Dancing alone makes the whole grinding game rather obvious. To start off, dance with your girlfriend and make it seem like you’re not really noticing any guy.
Soon enough, you’ll have a few cute guys dancing around waiting for your attention. [Read: How to get any guy’s attention no matter where you are ]
But don’t even bother looking at him just yet. Watch him from the corner of your eye and see if he’s been noticing you. Or if you want to grind with some guy who hasn’t noticed you yet, just move along on the dance floor until you’re close to him.
Dance normally as you always do, but move really close to a guy you like and brush him with your butt *fake-accidentally, of course*.
Don’t try to get his attention just yet, don’t look at him, don’t smile at him, and don’t make it seem like you’re desperate to dance with him by staring and giggling at him.
Wait for him to do something or reciprocate. Right now, just make it seem like you’re dancing with your friend. But don’t stop the occasional butt brushing against him, let him feel your touch and want more of it. [Read: How to flirt by touch and all the subtle ways to seduce someone ]
Grinding with a guy is the easy part. The tough part is to make it all seem discreet. As you’re dancing with your friend, move your shoulders around so your breast touches his arm now and then.
Does he notice your accidental touch? Does he smile or does he move closer to you? If he notices it and tries to get your attention, flash a small cute smile back at him and let him know that you’ve noticed him.
But don’t do it too obviously, and avoid letting him know that your touches were intentional. [Read: 25 tips to look really cute in front of a guy ]
Keep your hands by your sides as you’re dancing and let them hover near his butt and legs. He’d obviously start moving about a lot more just to get more of your touches.
Always keep your body or hands really close to a guy, but avoid making the first touch if you want to make him work for your attention. [Read: Sexual flirting – How to step up from regular flirting and naughty it ]
Move along the dance floor so you’re dancing by his side. You don’t need to stand in front of him to grind a guy just yet.
Just build the sexual tension up by letting your hands and hips touch each other often. But as before, don’t give him too much attention just yet. Just have fun with your own friend who’s dancing with you. [Read: Why guys like a good chase and how to use this secret in your favor ]
Let your fingers touch his fingers as both of you dance beside each other. And when your fingers do touch his, don’t move them away but don’t do anything about it either.
It’ll drive him crazy and all he’d want to do is clasp it. He may even try that!
Once you’ve had a lot of body touches going on and he’s constantly trying to look for ways to touch you, it’s time to get to the part where you grind with the guy discreetly and subtly.
By teasing him long enough, you would be able to arouse him and make him work for your attention instead of being too easy to get which is always a good thing. It’ll make him want you more too!
Step in front of him and move your pelvis around so your butt is constantly touching his thigh. This will be his cue to come close behind you. If he’s shy, a few *accidental* touches on his crotch with your butt while dancing will definitely do the trick. [Read: When a guy touches you on a body part – How to decode his intentions ]
Once he’s right behind you, get really close to him and press your butt gently against his crotch.
Sway around and dance like you always do, but pay more attention to swaying your hips around so you can feel his pants tighten behind you.
If you want to be subtle when grinding with a guy, you need to move slowly. Moving your butt in small circles is the best way, or swaying from side to side. That way, it just looks like you’re dancing.
He won’t know whether you’re being intentional or not and that’s the vibe you’re going for.
If you push your butt back too far and lean into him too hard, there’s going to be no mistaking what your game is. Keep it small and on the right side of the line. [Read: How to give a sexy lap dance he’ll never ever forget ]
If the guy isn’t placing his hands on your hips already, drop your hands down or run them down your hips now and then as you sway your hips. Even better if you can get your hands to drop down and touch his fingers often.
You’ll arouse him so much that all he’ll want to do is hold your hips or your hands and come even closer while you move your butt all over his crotch.
And really, that’s all there is to grinding and making it seem like the guy is doing all the work!
While a club may be the best place to grind with a guy, you can also discreetly grind with a guy at concerts or even in crowded queues. It’s easy and fun, if you’re in the right mood! [Read: The 30 best subtle, obvious and really sexy flirting moves girls can use to arouse a guy ]
If you’re grinding with a guy and want to turn him on a lot more, all you need to do is use these three little tips to drive him wild.
1. Stand in front of him as you’re dancing. Raise one hand and place it behind his neck while grinding with him. [Read: How to make out with a guy and secrets to make him explode in his pants ]
2. Slip your thumb into his jeans or just under his belt when he’s behind you. Guide his hand to hold you around your waist or just under your breasts.
3. Graze your butt against his crotch until you feel him harden up. Turn around and get your pelvis as close to him as you comfortably want to. [Read: 6 tips to get a guy to kiss you when you want him to ]
A lot of the time, it’s just confidence that holds us back. You might really like a guy and get the vibe that he’s looking your way, but you’re not confident enough to make the first move.
These tips will help you do that without making it seem super-obvious. Plus, he’ll have no doubts in his mind by the end that you like him, and want him too!
You’ve done it all subtly and kept him guessing. What happens next is up to you!
Now that you know how to grind with a guy sexily and discreetly, try these moves the next time you’re out clubbing. Sometimes, making a guy think he’s working for your attention even if you liked him first can be so much fun.
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Start dancing with your friends. Unless you already know the guy you want to dance with and he's led you to the dance floor, you'll have to approach the dance floor on your own first. (If you already have a guy, then you can skip this section). Take a trusted girlfriend or two with you and have a great time dancing, doing your own thing, and going a little crazy. [1]
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Don't look around like you're desperate for a guy to dance with, even if you've found your target -- instead, let the guys see what a great time you're having and they'll come to you.
Show off your dance moves with your girlfriends. Let the guys see that you can work your body, follow the beat, and have a great time.
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Move closer to the guy. Once you've found your guy -- and maybe even locked eyes with him from across the room -- you and your girlfriends should start moving closer to him. Make this a natural, gradual move, and wait for him to come closer to you, too. If you lock eyes from across the room for one second and then one inch away from him the next, you won't look cool.
Make your way over to him during the course of a song.
Make sure that your girlfriends follow without crowding the guy.
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Start "accidentally" brushing up against the guy. At this point, you should lock eyes with the guy, and maybe even give him a cute smile and then look away. Then, move even closer to him and let your body brush up against his, whether you're facing him and touching him with your hands, or turning away form him and occasionally brushing up against him with your desire. [2]
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