Sex With You Is Like

Sex With You Is Like

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Ellen Scott Saturday 8 Jul 2017 3:32 pm
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In films and TV shows, the hottest sex is usually shown as the preserve of one night stands and friends finally revealing that they fancy each other after months of secretive stares and flirty chat.
Being in love with someone – as in, loving them after getting to know them, having a relationship that’s come from time and care and commitment instead of raw, animalistic desire – isn’t often portrayed as the perfect situation for, well, good loving.
And that’s a shame, really. Because while loved up sex is different from ‘we both find each other physically attractive and shall rub our genitals together now’ sex, it’s definitely not less hot.
Not to get mushy, or anything, but in a lot of ways, sex with someone you love is way better than sex with someone you just fancy.
Here are just a few ways sex with someone you love differs from casual stuff.
When you’ve had sex more than a few times, they tend to develop a real sense of the very specific things that get you off.
They’ll kiss your neck with exactly the right pressure, grab your bum, and do all the other things you always used to wish people would do without having to be directed to do so. It’s great.
Unlike a casual hookup, someone you love will not waste time fumbling around with a technique that’s worked on other people but does nothing for you.
They’ve tried it, you loved them enough to say you hated it, and they won’t try it again.
Even though you’ve been doing it for a while, it’s not predictable. They’re always coming up with new ways to make you feel good and discovering little parts to touch that you didn’t know would feel so incredible.
So you want some spanking, a finger up the bum, a session in which you pretend to be a stern archeologist while they’re the upstart thinking they’ve found a rare bone in the desert?
Whatever. They’re not going to back away slowly or call you a freak. They love you, and if they’re not into an idea they’ll gently turn it down.
If they are up for trying it, though, even better…
Look, they’ve got you covered. You don’t even need to micro-manage. You can just focus on them, happy in the knowledge that they’re focused on you.
Or unflattering angles, or bad lighting, or them seeing directly into your butthole. You know they love all of you.
Yes, a vagina fart – or a regular one – just happened. No, neither of you are dying in shame. Lovely.
True love is being able to make a joke while having really hot sex, having it land perfectly , then having laughs turn back into moans.
The great thing about loved-up sex is you can do it loads of ways. It’s not all slow jams, candles, and gazing into each other’s eyes.
Whether that means physically (blindfolds, handcuffs, a precarious sex position) or ~emotionally~.
Sex on a date: Perfectly exfoliated, shaved, and moisturised.
Sex in love: Yeah, sometimes shaved, but also stubbled, or fully hairy, or a tiny bit sunburnt. You’re getting rid of your hair or looking after your bod because you want to, not because you feel like you have to.
They don’t care that your boxers have holes in them.
Loved-up sex doesn’t only happen after sliding off each other’s sweatpants. Sometimes it’s nice to make an effort.
Your rhythms fall in sync, you fit perfectly, you’re closer, it’s hotter, it’s better – it’s something special.
Fact: You can’t get full-on filthy if you’re worried about looking a bit sh*t.
Pure raunchiness can only occur when you’re not bothered about your hair getting plastered with sweat, your face going red, your makeup smudging.
You’re fine with letting go and doing the seriously hot stuff.
*Not without foreplay, to be clear. Just without all the ‘will we have sex? Do they want to? Do they like me?’ bit.
The insecurity isn’t there, you know each other, you’ll say you’re not in the mood if you’re not so there’s no uncertainty, and if you’re both up for it you can get it on whenever.
When you’re in love, you know they’ll understand if you didn’t finish this time, and they’ll understand that it doesn’t mean they’re sh*t in bed/you hate them/everything’s gone wrong.
Plus, they’re loads more able to get you off.
When you’re doing a random hookup, you feel a bit bad asking to swap positions – they just seem to be enjoying it so much, you know? Maybe this is just what they’re into?
When it’s with someone you love, you can easily say it feels like they’re about to break your genitals, or you can see up their nose, or you feel a bit dizzy. They’ll be fine with shifting around.
You can have the occasional off day, because you know your one performance isn’t going to be dissected and analysed.
Surely, you think, after a while you won’t be a lust-driven sex fiend obsessed with touching their body.
And yet, months or years in, it still happens. You still think they’re unbelievably hot. It’s weird, but lovely.
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They know exactly how to position their arm.
No awkward cuddling afterwards just because you feel like you should.
If you want to roll over and sleep, fine.
If you want to watch TV, that’s all good.
They’re even cool with getting you a cup of tea. And that may be the sexiest thing of all.

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Having sex with you is like playing hide and seek
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After the first 60 seconds you yell "ready or not, here I come!"
Having sex with invisible people is difficult .
Who counts to 60 seconds in hide and seek? 15 seconds, maybe. ;)
No way 15 seconds is long enough. U need 60 to hide well
And when you pull out, you can finally hear her say "I found you!"
Or... "It's unenjoyable. Because whilst I might be good at it... all I wanna do is come out of the closet". Or something similar.
Oh man I hear that. One time I hid behind a shower curtain in the corner behind an old style claw foot tub. It had just enough space in the corner that one leg could fit in to hold me up and the rest of me was pushed against the back wall. It didn't look like anyone could fit there so i won the game soundly. After an hour i came out and couldn't walk for at least an hour! I thought I caused permanent damage.
I Suffered from death grip syndrome early in my first real relationship. I went 45 minutes, lost count of her orgasms, and had to finish myself because she passed out on top of me. She woke up half an hour later but couldn't walk properly until the next morning.
Probably the most frustrating sex I've ever had, but she seemed to like it.
Is this a serious thing? Like I've gone 2 to 2 and a half hours before and me and my ex were ready to keep going
Jeez... Steve McGee? I really don't remember you. Are you the guy from Akron who spread almond butter on my balls?
I'm from Akron and I've never had this happen.
In my day we counted to 10, youbetta book it!
Cum out, cum out, where ever you are!
Best hide and seek is in a big hotel.
Meaning he has problems with premature ejaculation

“I was 4 months away from high school graduation, 17 at the time when I met him at the part time job at an office store. I worked there after school and weekends when I wasn’t busy with sports. I was a young, naive girl who had high hopes for my future. My ex was 23 when I had met him, but he ‘waited’ a month until April when I was 18 to start telling any of his friends about me. That was a red flag. He was nearly 6 years older than me trying to get with a girl still in high school, red flag. I remember he would meet me for lunch in the back of the high school parking lot and I would joke that he’s embarrassed of having a high school girlfriend. He was. Looking back at it now, this is a form of grooming me into a girlfriend he would want and what he needed.
This relationship started in 2014, and it ended in 2018, 4.5 whole years of emotional turmoil. It started with the little things like calling me dumb, or stupid. I would ask a question, he would look at me so upset, sigh and say, ‘God Kadie, how can you be so dumb?’ ‘You’re such an idiot, how do you survive?’ I took this as a joke; he doesn’t mean it, right? It slowly progressed more and he made me start questioning my own sanity. This is a form of gaslighting as I have come to understand. I had so many friends tell me how bad he was to me, but I always defended him saying they just don’t know him how I do. That we love each other and that should be enough.
The examples of gaslighting are as follows, and how I experienced it.
You may ask why I didn’t leave when things got bad. Why did I stay? You just don’t realize how slow and gradually everything happened. Abuse doesn’t happen overnight, it happens because I chose to ignore the red flags, I decided to look in the best of him and hope that my love was enough. I tried to leave. In fact it takes a victim almost 7 tries to get away from the abuser, it took me 3 times. Every time I tried to leave he would start acting like the most amazing boyfriend, he would write me letters like I had for him every week. He would cry and stumble over his words refusing to get out of my car until I decided to give it another chance, entrapping me. When it was good it was good and I believed he would change and that he can love me and show me, not just say it, and act another way. Even his family had expected me to fix him. Always referring him as ‘the boy’ and how stubborn he is, saying how, ‘he just needs me to help.’ BUT I AM NOT HERE TO FIX ANYONE. He needs to fix himself. I am not the sole provider of his happiness when he is feeling so down, all he did was tear me down with him. He should have let me leave a long time ago.
I should have left him after I got home from the gym after a long night at the nursing home. I got home like normal around 1 a.m. and hopped into my side of the bed. His phone, however, was left on my side. It was like fate that he left it there or else I never would have found out he cheated on me with his ‘lesbian’ best friend. She was younger than me, blonde like me, had the ‘spark’ of energy I used to have before he tore me away. She was young, shiny, new, full of life, and ambition. She even had the same birthday as me, if that makes this story even wilder. As I laid there contemplating what to do, the first thought that ran through my head was, ‘He’s going to be mad that I went through his phone,’ not, ‘I need to leave him. Now.’ When I woke him up and asked him about it, he was groggy and said, ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ I said, ‘I saw the messages. You can’t lie to
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