Sex With A Large Penis

Sex With A Large Penis
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Disclaimer: This post pertains mainly to cisgender, heterosexual pairs.
If movies and TV shows and popular knowledge were to be believed, a big penis is always better than a small penis and having a big dick somehow makes men more “manly” than those who are packing a smaller package and that, my friends, is all nonsense. The size of a someone's penis does not determine whether or not they're a good lover — all it does is determine what size condom they should pick up at the pharmacy. However, some people do have penis size preferences, with plenty of people preferring larger penises and others who really only want to get down with someone who has a smaller penis .
And here’s a fun fact you might not know! Vaginas, just like penises, are different sizes. So a person might have a particularly short vagina, in which case having sex with someone who has a really big penis is going to be a major no . On the other hand, some people have really long vaginas or wider openings to their vaginas, which means that they’re going to prefer big penises. There’s so much more that goes into penis size preferences than “big is better than small!”
Regardless, it’s not like penis size is something you know before everyone gets naked, anyway. (Sorry folks — that middle school thing about shoe size is a total myth.) So if you find yourself with a partner who’s bigger than average or even just bigger than you’ve experienced before, here are eight things to keep in mind when having sex.
But for real though . If you have a vagina, you need to make sure that you’re thoroughly wet and thoroughly aroused before any penetration happens. That’s because…
If you’re not sufficiently turned on , your vagina might be too tight for him to fit. That means he’s going to walk away with, basically, a bruised penis. If you want to have sex more than once a week, make sure you’ve been making out and doing other stuff for at least 15 minutes before his penis goes in.
And the flip side is, if you’re not turned on enough, you might get hurt during intercourse too. Either by tearing your vaginal opening or…
The worst sex injury ever ! Because vaginas get longer when you’re more aroused, if you’re not turned on enough, a big penis might bump right up against your cervix. Trust me: a bruised cervix is not a pain you want to ever experience.
Those deep penetration positions that he loves may not be a great idea, as the harder and further he pushes, the more likely he is to cause some damage. So if you really love doing it from behind, for example, he may have to hold back and not go all the way in. On the other hand, girl on top is a great position because you can control the amount of penetration more easily that way.
Just like your cervix moves based on how aroused you are, it also changes at different points of your cycle. (But not if you’re on the Pill, because then you don’t ovulate.) When you’re ovulating, your cervix is as high up as it will go and also has a kind of mushy consistency. That’s the best time for deep penetration.
If your big-bonered partner has trouble keeping it up, it’s not because he doesn’t think you’re sexy. Big penises need to fill with more blood than smaller penises, which means that guys who are exceptionally long may have a hard time keeping their hard-ons as rock hard as guys with smaller penises.
And if you take all of the proper precautions? Having sex with someone with a big penis can be really fun .
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to help him last longer:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (8)

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Just like men, penises come in all shapes and sizes . Odds are you’ve seen junk at both ends of the spectrum, though it's a wee bit more intimidating to come face-to-face with a big weiner than a small one.
Sure, getting down with an oversized peen can be some women's jackpot, but for others...not so much. How will it fit?
“During the course of their sexual lives, most women will encounter a male partner whom they consider well-endowed,” says certified sex therapist Kat Van Kirk , Ph.D. So what qualifies as "well-endowed"? According to a 2013 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average erect penis is 5.6 inches, so we'd reckon anything over that. (Fun fact: About 15 percent of men have a penis over seven inches and three percent have one over eight inches.)
Having sex with a larger-than-average penis can be painful, create anxiety and stress, and even cause vaginal tearing, says Van Kirk. But, with all of that said, it doesn't have to ruin sex. New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner , Ph.D., author of She Comes First , says your vagina might be more up for the task than you’d think. “Generally, the vagina can accommodate a larger than average penis,” he says. However, you do have to be more careful.
Came across a whopper? Here’s how to proceed:
Acknowledge the (Huge) Elephant in the Room
Don’t make it a major issue—Van Kirk says you don’t want to embarrass the guy since he may already be sensitive about his size —but it’s a good idea to be upfront and honest. Kerner recommends saying something like, “Wow, that’s a big penis. Let’s take it slow”…and then moving on.
Take the Lead
It’s hard to know how your va-jay will handle his size, says Van Kirk, so it’s important for you to set the pace. “Until you get used to the sensation and know how your body will respond to his larger penis, take it slow,” she advises.
Break Out the Lube
You’re probably going to need it, so “be willing to reach for the lube and keep it coming,” says Kerner. (Sidenote: lube = better sex, always.) Thicker lubes are better in this situation because they won't be absorbed as quickly, says Van Kirk.
Go Wild with Foreplay
While lube will help you get wet, foreplay can help you get a better read on his penis size and allow you to get even more aroused in the process. That makes it easier to take it all in later. “Work your way up,” says Van Kirk. “Sexy time prior to penetration with his penis should include fingers or possibly a sex toy.”
Try Side-by-Side Sex
Not only can you help control the rhythm in this position , you can also hold his penis, insert it, and control it like a sex toy, says Kerner. If he’s getting too deep, for example, increase how much of his length that you’re gripping to minimize what’s going into you.
…And Girl on Top Any move that allows you to a) take the lead and b) keep him pretty still are ideal, says Kerner.
…And Standing Positions
If your dude has a longer penis, you might actually find standing sex hotter since it's easier to get into and maintain, says Van Kirk.
Avoid Doggy Style
If his penis is on the long side, certain positions , like doggy style, can lead to deeper penetration, which may cause his penis to hit your cervix (and that doesn’t always feel great—though it can.), says Van Kirk. If you want a doing-it-from-behind kind of vibe, she recommends reverse cowgirl so you can still control the rhythm.
Keep Your Expectations in Check
While you might assume that sex with a big guy will lead to crazy-wild orgasms, that’s…not neccessarily the case. “Sometimes men with big penises think that's all they need to be a gratifying lover, but a big penis doesn't guarantee more orgasms ,” says Kerner.

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You don't want your partner in any pain.
So, you have a big penis and have come to realize that there are downsides to walking around with a third leg . While many folks love a big penis in theory, when it’s actually inside of them, it can be rather painful. That’s because the vaginal canal is typically four to five inches when aroused. If you happen to have a seven-incher , your penis could hit your partner’s cervix, and that isn’t pleasurable. That’s just painful.
This is where knowing various sex positions come into play. There are certainly better sex positions for well-endowed men. “Your partner should be in a position that allows her to be a power bottom who’s in charge,” explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of She Comes First . In these positions, your partner can control the speed and depth of penetration.
"Positions should enable your partner to quickly disengage at will and easily allow her to communicate if there's any pain,” Kerner adds. In addition to sex positions where your partner’s in control, some positions naturally use your partner’s butt as insulation. These positions are ideal for guys with big penises because they physically do not allow for deeper penetration since your partner’s behind is in the way.
Keeping this in mind, here are the 10 best sex positions for men with big old johnsons.
"With your partner's weight on your pelvis, the socket allows your partner to control how much of your penis she takes in while keeping you in place," Kerner says.
"With a woman on top , supported by her knees, she can calibrate how much of a penis she wants to take in," Kerner says. "She can tease and tantalize by just taking in the head, and as she gets more aroused and comfortable, experiment with depth and rhythm."
"While seated on the chair, your partner can squat and ease down on your penis, controlling exactly where she wants to be," Kerner explains. "With a well-endowed penis, it can be a challenge to receive adequate clitoral stimulation, so you also want to aim for positions like this where you can provide manual stimulation to your partner's clitoris."
"The same principle as cowgirl are at work with reverse cowgirl, but with more g-spot stimulation ," Kerner says. "On her knees, she can raise or lower herself as needed."
"Oral sex positions are nice for both partners to take a break from that big penis and helps to decrease some of the anxiety that might accompany intercourse," he says. "Also, a lubricated vagina is a happy vagina, and there's nothing like some good oral sex to get things wet."
"An another important aspect for a woman working with a large penis is being able to change positions as soon as there's discomfort," Kerner explains. "Sometimes, this means pulling away altogether. In many positions, like missionary , a woman is somewhat pinned, but in positions like the spoon, if there's some pain, she can quickly respond. This sense of freedom will help her feel relaxed and in control."
"In this position, the person with the penis is in control, so as long as he's in sync, taking it slow, looking in her eyes and reading the signals, it can be an intense and loving position." he says. "Whenever there's the potential for pain, you want to maximize communication."
"Again, in the spooning position, a woman has the power to engage and disengage that large penis," Kerner explains. "In this position, you can provide ample manual clitoral stimulation, but with your legs pinned together by the weight of her leg, your partner has good maneuvering ability."
"This is a great position for her to receive g-spot and clitoral stimulation while also being able to use her legs to lean in to the penis or push out," Kerner says.
"The launchpad is a nice variation of missionary where your partner can use her legs to push against you as you're penetrating, enabling her to really calibrate the depth of penetration," Kerner says. "It's also easy for your partner to push against you if there's any pain."

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Here's some fun phallus trivia for you: The average erect penis clocks in at 5.2 inches long and 4.6 inches in diameter, according to a study of more than 15,000 men. But when it comes to variations in penis length and width, most women can agree that size doesn't matter—what's more important is whether a guy can work what he’s got.

A few exceptions to this rule, however, might be valid. One is if a man has what's medically known as a micropenis , a rare condition Health has explored before. The other is if a guy's penis is really, really big.

The latter is something that can be intimidating to many women, who worry about whether an XXL member will fit, if it'll feel good, and if sex can still be pleasurable. And while the answers to the three questions above are yes (think about it, a baby comes out of there), yes, and hell yeah , there are a few things to know before you hit the sheets with a well-endowed dude. Read on for an ob-gyn's advice on making the action super enjoyable.

Sure you might be in the mood and feel ready to hit the bedroom for the main event. But if your vagina is not fully aroused, penetration can feel a little rough and lead to soreness . That may result in tiny tears at the entrance to the vagina that definitely won't feel good and can even be a conduit for infection.

During arousal, the vagina naturally elongates and becomes more flexible, enough to accommodate pretty much any size penis. So let those changes happen with lots of kissing, touching, and oral sex moves that will prime you for intercourse. ”You will be much better able to deal with a larger penis if you're very well stimulated,” Jennifer Landa, MD, an ob-gyn and chief medical officer at BodyLogicMD in Orlando, Florida, tells Health .

Even if you have no problem getting wet during arousal, it can't hurt to supplement your natural moisture with the store-bought stuff. “Lubrication obviously helps to decrease friction,” says Dr. Landa. She recommends looking into a lubricant that is hypoallergenic and natural , or with as few artificial ingredients as possible. Make sure it's not petroleum-based, which can degrade the latex in your partner's condom and potentially put you at risk of infection or pregnancy.

“One of my favorite natural lubricants is extra virgin coconut oil. It is moisturizing and lubricating and doesn't ball up like a lot of lubes you can buy,” she says.

“One of the main things to think of with a larger penis and condoms is the fact that not all condoms will fit him well," says Dr. Landa. "You certainly don't want to make his penis feel ‘choked’ and you also want to make sure the condom works well." Since it's his penis, he should know what brand and size fits him properly so it doesn't tear or feel too tight. But it can't hurt to keep a stash of XL size condoms on hand that he can choose from, so you know for sure you're both protected.

“The positions that work the best are the ones where the woman can be on top and control the action," says Dr. Landa. "Woman on top facing towards her man seems to be one of the best because she can control how much or how little of his penis she is ready to take inside." Reverse cowgirl can work, too.

Beyond woman on top, experiment with missionary and side-by-side sex. “For missionary, you can try putting both of your legs inside of his. This will provide clitoral stimulation and prevent him from going too deep,” she says. Side by side, or spooning, also prevents his penis from going too deep, she adds.

No disrespect to doggy style, but of all the main sex positions, this is the one that offers the deepest penetration. That can be a little too much for some women whose partners are very well-endowed, explains Dr. Landa.

Traditional doggy style, when a woman's hips are raised on a pillow and her legs are spread far apart, lets a guy go especially deep, she says, and it puts him in control of the depth and pacing. “If you want to do doggy style, it's important to close your legs together pretty well to prevent him from going as deep as he might otherwise,” she suggests. Or ask him to stay still and let you use your hips to direct the action.

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