Sex With A Big Penis
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Sex With A Big Penis
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Disclaimer: This post pertains mainly to cisgender, heterosexual pairs.
If movies and TV shows and popular knowledge were to be believed, a big penis is always better than a small penis and having a big dick somehow makes men more “manly” than those who are packing a smaller package and that, my friends, is all nonsense. The size of a someone's penis does not determine whether or not they're a good lover — all it does is determine what size condom they should pick up at the pharmacy. However, some people do have penis size preferences, with plenty of people preferring larger penises and others who really only want to get down with someone who has a smaller penis .
And here’s a fun fact you might not know! Vaginas, just like penises, are different sizes. So a person might have a particularly short vagina, in which case having sex with someone who has a really big penis is going to be a major no . On the other hand, some people have really long vaginas or wider openings to their vaginas, which means that they’re going to prefer big penises. There’s so much more that goes into penis size preferences than “big is better than small!”
Regardless, it’s not like penis size is something you know before everyone gets naked, anyway. (Sorry folks — that middle school thing about shoe size is a total myth.) So if you find yourself with a partner who’s bigger than average or even just bigger than you’ve experienced before, here are eight things to keep in mind when having sex.
But for real though . If you have a vagina, you need to make sure that you’re thoroughly wet and thoroughly aroused before any penetration happens. That’s because…
If you’re not sufficiently turned on , your vagina might be too tight for him to fit. That means he’s going to walk away with, basically, a bruised penis. If you want to have sex more than once a week, make sure you’ve been making out and doing other stuff for at least 15 minutes before his penis goes in.
And the flip side is, if you’re not turned on enough, you might get hurt during intercourse too. Either by tearing your vaginal opening or…
The worst sex injury ever ! Because vaginas get longer when you’re more aroused, if you’re not turned on enough, a big penis might bump right up against your cervix. Trust me: a bruised cervix is not a pain you want to ever experience.
Those deep penetration positions that he loves may not be a great idea, as the harder and further he pushes, the more likely he is to cause some damage. So if you really love doing it from behind, for example, he may have to hold back and not go all the way in. On the other hand, girl on top is a great position because you can control the amount of penetration more easily that way.
Just like your cervix moves based on how aroused you are, it also changes at different points of your cycle. (But not if you’re on the Pill, because then you don’t ovulate.) When you’re ovulating, your cervix is as high up as it will go and also has a kind of mushy consistency. That’s the best time for deep penetration.
If your big-bonered partner has trouble keeping it up, it’s not because he doesn’t think you’re sexy. Big penises need to fill with more blood than smaller penises, which means that guys who are exceptionally long may have a hard time keeping their hard-ons as rock hard as guys with smaller penises.
And if you take all of the proper precautions? Having sex with someone with a big penis can be really fun .
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions to help him last longer:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy (8)
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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You don't want your partner in any pain.
So, you have a big penis and have come to realize that there are downsides to walking around with a third leg . While many folks love a big penis in theory, when it’s actually inside of them, it can be rather painful. That’s because the vaginal canal is typically four to five inches when aroused. If you happen to have a seven-incher , your penis could hit your partner’s cervix, and that isn’t pleasurable. That’s just painful.
This is where knowing various sex positions come into play. There are certainly better sex positions for well-endowed men. “Your partner should be in a position that allows her to be a power bottom who’s in charge,” explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, sex therapist, and author of She Comes First . In these positions, your partner can control the speed and depth of penetration.
"Positions should enable your partner to quickly disengage at will and easily allow her to communicate if there's any pain,” Kerner adds. In addition to sex positions where your partner’s in control, some positions naturally use your partner’s butt as insulation. These positions are ideal for guys with big penises because they physically do not allow for deeper penetration since your partner’s behind is in the way.
Keeping this in mind, here are the 10 best sex positions for men with big old johnsons.
"With your partner's weight on your pelvis, the socket allows your partner to control how much of your penis she takes in while keeping you in place," Kerner says.
"With a woman on top , supported by her knees, she can calibrate how much of a penis she wants to take in," Kerner says. "She can tease and tantalize by just taking in the head, and as she gets more aroused and comfortable, experiment with depth and rhythm."
"While seated on the chair, your partner can squat and ease down on your penis, controlling exactly where she wants to be," Kerner explains. "With a well-endowed penis, it can be a challenge to receive adequate clitoral stimulation, so you also want to aim for positions like this where you can provide manual stimulation to your partner's clitoris."
"The same principle as cowgirl are at work with reverse cowgirl, but with more g-spot stimulation ," Kerner says. "On her knees, she can raise or lower herself as needed."
"Oral sex positions are nice for both partners to take a break from that big penis and helps to decrease some of the anxiety that might accompany intercourse," he says. "Also, a lubricated vagina is a happy vagina, and there's nothing like some good oral sex to get things wet."
"An another important aspect for a woman working with a large penis is being able to change positions as soon as there's discomfort," Kerner explains. "Sometimes, this means pulling away altogether. In many positions, like missionary , a woman is somewhat pinned, but in positions like the spoon, if there's some pain, she can quickly respond. This sense of freedom will help her feel relaxed and in control."
"In this position, the person with the penis is in control, so as long as he's in sync, taking it slow, looking in her eyes and reading the signals, it can be an intense and loving position." he says. "Whenever there's the potential for pain, you want to maximize communication."
"Again, in the spooning position, a woman has the power to engage and disengage that large penis," Kerner explains. "In this position, you can provide ample manual clitoral stimulation, but with your legs pinned together by the weight of her leg, your partner has good maneuvering ability."
"This is a great position for her to receive g-spot and clitoral stimulation while also being able to use her legs to lean in to the penis or push out," Kerner says.
"The launchpad is a nice variation of missionary where your partner can use her legs to push against you as you're penetrating, enabling her to really calibrate the depth of penetration," Kerner says. "It's also easy for your partner to push against you if there's any pain."
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By hoK leahciM
Updated July 29, 2022
Most men are conscious of their penis size. But as they say, it’s how you perform in bed, right? Check this Reddit thread out for more.
By hoK leahciM
Updated July 29, 2022
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I’m into fisting, so even the largest penises are no problem.
Actually, neither are small penises, I just get the guy to fist me.
I lost my virginity to a man with a huge penis. But I didn’t know it at the time. Watching porn made me uncomfortable so I always just read erotica. So he was very proud of his huge cock, and I don’t think he could figure out why I wasn’t amazed by it. For my part, I couldn’t figure out why sex was so damn painful. I could barely open my jaw far enough to the get the thing in my mouth. We could only have sex in missionary position because everything else hurt so badly. I was not particularly impressed with intercourse (or giving oral, for that matter).
The rest of my relationships have been with men with normal size penises. I found out, holy shit, having sex with them is fucking easy. I don’t have to use a cup of lube to have intercourse or use an ice pack on my face after giving a blow job. I don’t get what the big deal is for big dicks. Give me a normal dick any day.
I posted a while back about dating a guy with a micropenis. For a while he avoided sex, which made me believe he wasn’t sexually attracted to me. Really, he was just embarrassed by how small it was.
The actual sex was terrible, but I think a large part of it centered on his lack of confidence. He kept apologizing, then going soft, then slipping out, and it was just stressful sex. I think we still could have had fun if he had not gone into it thinking it was going to be a failure.
I’ve never dealt with a micropenis, but I did deal with one that was not much longer or girthier than my pinky. My experience with the dude’s personality was much worse than with the dick – I think he was really self conscious about it, so when we were fooling around he would say things about how big his cock was and ask me to beg for his big dick… it was kind of awkward because I think we both knew it was smaller than average, but he needed to hear that it was big to feel good about himself. He was also really sweet and attentive outside of the bedroom, so it turned into this weird Dr. Jekyl/Mr Hyde situation.
The actual sex was disappointing, but again I think it was partly due to his insecurities.
I don’t know how all these women are talking about preferring big ones for blowjobs! I had been hooking up with a guy for a week or so before it went THAT far…I was willing and a bit eager to give him head, until he pulled the damn kraken out of his pants. only time I’ve ever stopped, looked someone dead in the eye, and asked, “what in the HELL do you expect me to do with that?!” his girth was so huge that I literally couldn’t fit him in my mouth. sex was painful and awkward. we didn’t see each other after that, and if my vagina ever becomes animate I assure you it (she?) will thank me for not continuing with him.
I’m from England. Muscular man’s man American guy comes to my university (except he’s really short) and takes a liking to me. He and a friend were over mine one night and the friend left. The American guy and I ended up on the bed kissing for a while with him on top. I started trying to reach for his cock but couldn’t find it. It was actually giving me a mini panic attack. I told him to get off and lay down so I could be on top (in my head I figured it would be easier then). Still couldn’t find it.
When I did find it it was 2 inches or less, erect. As I hold this little penis he shouts at me “SUCK IT” like he has the biggest dick in the world. I honestly didn’t want to make him feel bad about himself, so tried to continue like nothing was abnormal. I go down there and he lets out a large and disgusting fart and says “Mmm, do you like that?”
I screamed and told him to get out, to which he and I started arguing. He called me a few things. “Cocktease” being one that I distinctly remember. He then ran into my ensuite bathroom and locked the door so I couldn’t get in. In the mean time I called my friend who was also living in the flat. He was in there for a while then ran out. When my friend and I checked the bathroom there was semen everywhere.
Big penis? I like a longer dick, but not TOO wide, because that can be really painful (I’ve been told I have a smaller vagina any way). I literally have to be able to sink the Titanic in my pants before I can take a dick.
I’ve been with a guy that has a large or well above average penis and a guy who’s penis was below average. The big one was fun for blow jobs but sex hurt until I got wet enough or I guess, stretched enough. The small one was easier to take all of into my mouth and I didn’t notice anything off during sex. It went in easily and he knew a lot of stuff to do with it. I really think size doesn’t matter. It was all enjoyable.
I’ve had moderately small to moderately/very large: I generally prefer larger, but a lot of guys with big dicks think that all they need to be good at sex is a big dick. I’d rather take a guy with an average dick who cares about my pleasure anyday.
One of my exes was around 8.5-9″ and a big girth. I’m 5′. It was pretty uncomfortable since it took a while to actually fit it in (even with copious amounts of lube) and I was even bearing tears on a few occasions along with a bruised cervix. It wasn’t that pleasant, yet then again if we slowed it down or something then maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad. It was fun giving him head, though!
I’ve had both, honestly neither were that life altering in either a good or bad way.
For very large (mostly in width), we seemed to have the ideal situation of him being too large and me being too tight so while when it was good – it was very good, it didn’t last long without slipping out and after trying many different positions to see what works best, we ended up giving up the sex was just too much work.
For very small, it was actually better than the very large because what he lacked in size, he made up for in speed. He did a lot with what was given to him and didn’t seem embarrassed at all.
So for tips – if you’re very large, lots of foreplay, make sure she’s super wet and she spreads those legs. For very small, make sure you’re extra rough to make up for your size in speed. It goes a long way.
The worst thing about a short dick is the hair on the shaft and the fact that most guys are super insecure so they tend to prematurely come.
The worst thing about a big dick is that the guy often thinks that’s all he needs to bring to the relationship.
I dated a guy with a legitimate micro-peen. He was very upfront about it the first time we made it to the “making out” stage. I wasn’t quite to the point where I thought we might be long term, so I have to admit that I may have proceeded more out of curiosity than actual sexual feelings.
During that first bout (there were several, and you’ll understand why in a minute) he was obviously very weary of letting me get near “the area.” He would caress my hand and guide it away any time it got close to the zipper zone. He was so suave about it that it was easily ignored, though. It helped that he was a level 10 kisser and so in-tune with reading my cues.
As things progressed, I found myself fully undressed while he had everything intact (I’m telling you, he was a smooth motherfucker.) I don’t even remember how, but he guided me to the carpet and proceeded to perform acts of god on my lady region. I believe years of not being able to have conventional sex have given him oral superpowers. I had orgasms too numerous to count and I’m convinced I partially blacked out at one point (before this night, I would have seriously called bullshit on that actually being a thing, but goddamn if it isn’t real.) Long story short, I never did get to see the goods that first night. I remember feeling a little embarrassed the next morning for the amount of thanks and praise I gave him immediately following the last, exhausting orgasm (I’m talking a good 20 minutes worth of “OMFG, you are the most amazing man on Earth” type thing.)
We did attempt a penetration on one drunken night, but it just wouldn’t happen. The size was a serious issue, but the bigger problem (no pun intended) was that he just didn’t get conventionally hard.
It was maybe…less soft? But definitely not hard. So, it just didn’t happen.
Anyway, my experience with an extremely small penis was pretty positive because the guy took amazing steps to compensate. He’s a pretty good guy to boot, so I hope he someday finds a woman who appreciates the hell out of his skills.
I’m bi, but until I was seventeen or eighteen I thought that I was only interested in girls. When I was 19, I started dating a boy and we slept together five times before my hymen broke. I had just assumed it had busted at some point during all the finger banging, heh. Or that I was one of those women who didn’t have one. His dick was about three inches long and kind of skinny. But I didn’t know any better, I was used to fingers anyway.
Dated another guy much later with a dick thicker around than my wrist, probably 8 inches long. There was no such thing as quickies. He had to romance me if he wanted to put that thing inside me.
I had a partner who was basically a mushroom head connected to a pile of pubes when soft (I think he was 2 inches hard) as a result of a twisted testicle he was born with and had to get surgery for. He was also unable to orgasm from another person manipulating his penis or fucking, as much as he did enjoy that because of the surgery he had to have when he was a kid. He was skilled/determined orally, good with his fingers and though he had no problem making me orgasm, many sexual positions were a total no-go because of his size which was at times disappointing. Overall though he was fine in bed because he cared about pleasur
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