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Published: 01:46 BST, 16 December 2017 | Updated: 04:26 BST, 16 December 2017
An entire family of four - man, woman, son and daughter - has come out as transgender in Queen Creek, Arizona.
Daniel Harrott, 41, the biological parent of two trans children, was assigned female gender at birth and is a transgender man.
His son and daughter also say they were assigned the wrong gender at birth, and he has met a transgender woman, Shirley Austin, 62, who was assigned male gender at birth. Harrott and Austin are now engaged.
'The whole family is in transition,' Austin told KJZZ .
An entire family of four has come out as transgender in Queen Creek, Arizona; Trans man Daniel Harrott (Back, maroon shirt), 41, is seen here with fiancee and trans woman, Shirley Austin (L), 62, trans son, Mason (R), age 11, and trans daughter, Joshua (Center, white shirt with stripes), age 13
'It feels like you're getting to live for the first time,' Harrott said . 'And my children are getting to be who they've always wanted to be.'
Chaz Bono, who was assigned female at birth and is a transgender man, explains his being born with female reproductive organs as being 'a birth defect, like a cleft palate,' according to Bustle .
'There's a gender in your brain and a gender in your body. For 99 percent of people, those things are in alignment. For transgender people, they're mismatched,' he said.
An entire family of four has come out as transgender in Queen Creek, Arizona; Trans man Daniel Harrott, 41, is seen here with fiancee and trans woman, Shirley Austin, 62
Harrott's son and daughter also say they were assigned the wrong gender at birth
Harrott's son, 11-year-old Mason, was assigned female gender at birth and is a transgender boy. He has dark brown hair, shaved up on the sides that falls slight over his eyes if he's not careful to keep it swept back.
Harrott's daughter, Joshua, age 13, was assigned male gender at birth and is a transgender girl. She has sandy-brown hair that falls just to her shoulders as she sits in her wheelchair.
'I think I was only, like 6 or 7,' Joshua said, of when she knew she was trans.
Harrott told KJZZ that he thinks trans people have been part of his family for 100 years.
His grandmother's sister, which would be his great aunt, was called a 'cross-dresser,' he said. Harrott said that bothered his grandmother, so she was very strict with his mother, and made sure she dressed feminine at all times.
'Of course my mother just gave that same lesson: 'This is not OK. You must be a girl. This is who you were born to be,'' Harrott said.
Harrott lived most of his life as woman, but makeup and women's clothing just never felt right to him.
He married a man and gave birth to Mason and Joshua without ever quite feeling like himself.
Harrott (L) is the birth parent of two trans children, was assigned female gender at birth and is a transgender man; Austin (R) who was assigned male gender at birth and is a trans woman
It wasn't until last year, when Joshua wanted to join Girl Scouts, that Harrott was introduced to the term 'transgender'.
'When I finally looked ['transgender'] up, I realized, 'Oh my gosh, they're trans, and I know it's true – because I am, too, and it's been my whole life,'' Harrott said.
Shortly after that eye-opening experience, Joshua came out as a trans girl and Mason came out as a trans boy.
Their openness about living their authentic selves gave Harrott the courage he needed come out as a trans man. Right away, he cut his hair and went shopping for new clothes that felt more true to himself.
'I opened my eyes, looked in that dressing room mirror and went, 'Oh this is it. This is perfect. This is me,'' he said.
Harrott (R) met Austin (L), as she was volunteering at an organization that supports parents of trans youth
While all of this was happening, Harrott met Austin, as she was volunteering at an organization that supports parents of trans youth.
Austin was at a point in her life where she thought she'd be single forever. She had also been married before.
'I was never accepted before by people that really loved me, and we were married,' she said. 'So why would any of that change?'
Joshua, Mason and Harrott became friends with Austin, and Harrott and Austin's relationship grew from there.
'It was so freeing, because I knew I could be me, and they're going to understand me for who I am,' Austin said. 'They're going to know the hurts that I feel and how we can help each other.'
'I feel loved,' Harrott said, grinning. 'I mean, I feel love for who I am, exactly how I am.'
Harrott said his biggest hope for this children is that they, too, feel accepted and supported for their true selves.
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"I used to be so miserable that it would reflect in my daily attitude and how they viewed me. They were, to a point, just not happy to be around me."
"My older brother told me a few things that stuck with me because they were so hurtful"
"I think it’s better since I came out, because I’m more authentic to myself now"
For transgender people like Emily Prince, even explaining how they identify to the rest of the world is a struggle.
"Imagine going through life every day and having so many of your interactions involve somebody trying to give you a hug and stepping on your foot while doing it," Prince, a 31-year-old trans woman in Alexandria, Virginia, said. "And then when you ask them to step off your foot, no matter how polite you are about it, they respond with, 'Oh, excuse me, I was just trying to give you a hug.'"
Lily Carollo, 23, on her journey as a transgender person. By Joe Posner | Subscribe to Vox.com videos
Many transgender people, who identify with a gender different than the one assigned to them at birth, feel misunderstood by the general public. As a minority group that makes up less than 1 percent of the US population, they can often feel detached from the rest of the world. And the world, in turn, constantly pushes its prejudices against trans people — by treating them as "others" or identifying them by the wrong gender.
Trans communities are made up of people with stories and experiences to tell — some greatly shaped by their gender identity, some not. With this in mind, I reached out to dozens of trans people to understand what their lives are like. Here is what nine of them told me.
I accepted that being trans is part of my life's journey around 24 years old. It was a long-term realization, from birth to the moment I decided to live socially as a male.
I've always presented my gender by dressing the same and acted like the same person. But it was at that point that I realized I could undergo medical transition. I wasn't aware of that previously.
But I don't know if it was a feeling or anything. At that moment, I was just like, "Oh, this is a possibility for you." I thought it would make sense because I would live a much happier life if I was able to medically transition.
I was totally fine with my gender as a youth, although I behaved masculine. But it's only because I wasn't aware of the possibility.
For me, it was definitely a journey. I use that word — journey — because it contrasts from a definitive time stamp. It's not that simple for a lot of people.
When I was in college, maybe about 18 years old, I saw a book at the LGBT center called FTM . I had no idea what that meant. I was like, what's FTM? I opened the book, and it changed my world. It blew my mind. Ever since, I knew it was a possibility.
I was about 6 years old when I picked up that I'm trans.
You know how kids describe what they want to be when they grow up, like a firefighter? When I was 6 years old, I said I wanted to be a woman when I grew up. Similarly, to have people at that age grow up and realize they're not going to grow up to be a firefighter or that it takes a lot of work to be a firefighter, that's how I identified with being trans.
I realized something was wrong when I was 3 years old. I've always seen myself as female. I tried to come out to family numerous times over the years when I was younger.
I couldn't really tell them, so they took me to therapists. The therapists would say they understood and just tell my parents I'm depressed, put me on all these medications, and ignore the fact that I'm trans.
It was more than depression. It was more about having to fake who I was for so long. But once I started transitioning in 2012, I haven't had any depression of any kind.
The first recollection I have that something was amiss was when I was 7 or 8 years old. I had a dream where I was on board the Enterprise from Star Trek . There was this transporter accident, and I switched bodies with this girl from my second-grade class. Instead of freaking out, I was like, "Oh. Hey, this feels kind of nice. I like this."
I had a lot of vague inklings like that until I started transitioning.
If I knew this was a legitimate thing — that I wasn't crazy — I would have transitioned much sooner. I definitely had that period where I wasn't sure if these feelings were right to have. I wasn't sure if these feelings were a result of something psychologically wrong with me, or some sort of sexual fetish. I had to realize it wasn't a problem.
Ever since I could remember, I'd always felt I'm a guy. From the age of 2, I would tell people I'm a boy. I even came up with a boy version of my birth name, and I would tell people I'm that. It was just never a question in my head. It wasn't until I was older that I got some pushback on that.
I would fight my parents. I didn't want to wear dresses or pink and purple. I would want them to call me "he." It was always a battle whenever it came to gender stuff. I wouldn't play with any "girl toys," as I called them. It was very extreme from the time I could talk.
There were varying points in time when I knew something was different about me. I didn't put all the pieces together in a way that I was ready to declare to anyone until after law school, when I was 22.
I remember when I was 15, being online and presenting myself as a girl in internet relay chat. I also remember around that time watching TV shows that I knew were coded for girls, and hiding it because I knew that wasn't what I was supposed to be doing. At a younger age, I remember playing with Barbies and also hiding it. I remember knowing that my clothes didn't feel right to me, even as a little kid.
But I wasn't able to tell anyone I was trans. The first time I said anything, I said to the Lambda Legal group in the University of Virginia that I'm the "other one" — meaning the other gender. The first time I told anyone I'm trans was my therapist more than a year ago.
I knew from a very young age that there was something different about me. I didn't have a name for it. As a child of the '50s and '60s, I came from a conservative, blue-collar family with a Catholic background. It was a different era than right now. So I never acted on it.
By the time I was 20, I had graduated from high school and joined the military. It was probably during that decade in the '70s that I realized what I identified with.
By that time, it was a bit stressful for me. Being in the military, that was one of the things I would be discharged for. That helped me deeply suppress it.
I was married. I had two beautiful, wonderful kids and three grandchildren. I worried about my kids and my spouse if I came out in the military, because I would be without a job.
I went through my three-plus-decade career. I deployed twice, in Europe and the Middle East. But as I neared retirement, I became less comfortable with coming home.
Throughout my career, there would be occasional interludes in which I would be my authentic self. I would do that for a very short period of my time. Then the fear would creep in, and I would purge everything and try to get it out of my mind.
When I was 8 or 9 years old, I started to have this feeling that something was different about me, but I didn't know what it was. One time, my dad and I were in hardware store. I had shaggy hair back then. An older guy bumped into me and said, "Oh, I'm sorry, little girl." My dad went off on this guy. "No! He's a boy!" What's funny is I look back at that and remember I wasn't offended. I was a little confused, but I didn't think much of it. So there were little hints even back then.
When I went to college, that was the beginning of the internet taking off. I would voraciously consume all the information I could possibly get about transgender people and the process of transitioning. But I was incredibly adept at making up reasons I couldn't be trans. "You can't be trans because you like girls," I would tell myself. "You can't be trans because you like sports."
As I got older, I went through a process in which I started doing things in part because they were the things that "normal men" do and these things would quiet my feelings. I got engaged, I got married, I had children.
But throughout this entire time, I was absolutely a miserable human being. I was deeply, deeply unhappy. It led to other problems in my life. I had a period in which I was absolutely lost in internet porn. It's not something that's fun to talk about, but it's one of the ways my feelings presented themselves. That led to problems in my marriage, and I was unfaithful in my marriage. All of these things came from this problem of having this hole really deep within myself that I didn't know how to fill.
Looking back, I had a lot of gender dysphoria starting at a young age — probably 5 or 7, I'd say. I wasn't open about it for a long time. Going through primary and secondary school, I was completely closed off even to my family.
It wasn't until shortly after high school when a suicide attempt brought a lot of that to the surface. I was kind of forced to deal with a whole lot more about myself than I usually had. I kind of came out to myself about being transgender.
My family loved me for who I am, and that's how it's always been. Although gender is not your sexuality, they supported me when they thought I was a lesbian. So coming out as someone who identifies as male wasn't as difficult as I probably thought it would be.
I'll post pictures on Facebook. I'm seven years into my medical transition now, but I'll still post pictures of things that have changed. And my family comes up and says, "Looks great," and all these things. It's really a great, supportive environment. I am lucky enough to not have had any issues with family members. I like to think it's quite fascinating for them to have me in the family because I've gotten to educate them through my work and my life experience.
My dad had multiple sclerosis growing up. That took priority in my family. There were a lot of times when I really wanted to open up about my issues with gender but I really couldn't, just because there was something else in the room that took priority.
I was sort of a mess coming out. It came out in pieces. I told strangers a lot. It was a way to work through saying I'm trans without any consequences.
For the most part, my family took it quite well once I explained a lot of it to them. It's been a mixed process.
I used to have a horrible relationship with my mother. Since I started transitioning, it's been very positive, because she's seeing I'm happy now for the first time in my life. Because she's seeing the happiness in me, I guess we now have a closer bond.
But I also have some uncles who refuse to acknowledge my existence now. One uncle refuses to talk to me at all. The way my mom puts it to me is that he thinks I'm dead to him. I was really close to him before, but he cut off the relationship entirely because I'm trans. It still upsets me.
My ex-wife knew about me being trans before we got married. But she just didn't want me to transition. I thought I could cope with it. She wasn't shocked when I finally said, "I'm done being miserable." I still keep a good relationship with her.
With my kids, who are 7 years old, it's been extremely positive. I used to be so miserable that it would reflect in my daily attitude and how they viewed me. They were, to a point, just not happy to be around me. Now they're extremely happy to be around me, and we spend lots of time together. I go to school meetings with them. I'm very involved in their daily lives.
My kids just adapted to it. The first year, I asked them if they wanted to call me daddy or if they wanted to call me something else. They told me they wanted to call me Katie. About six months after I started transitioning, they told me they liked me much more as Katie than they did as daddy.
My mom has been amazingly supportive. She's been pretty enthusiastic about the whole thing. She still remembers the day and date I told her "I want to be a girl" for the first time.
My little sister, five years younger than me, is okay with it.
My father, I was a little bit worried about. He was okay
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