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Playing Doctor With My Boyfriend: The Totally Gross Story of How I Spent My Weekend
Forget date night and definitely forget about watching porn together (and sexy time at all for that matter). This past weekend, J and I survived (barely!) our first weekend home sick at the same time since the big move and, boy, did things get REAL fast.
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Forget date night and definitely forget about watching porn together (and sexy time at all for that matter). This past weekend, J and I survived (barely!) our first weekend home sick at the same time since the big move and, boy, did things get REAL fast.
We've been floating on cloud nine ever since J moved in with me a month ago. It's been pretty freakin' romantic besides a mishap here or there… and I've been honest about it all. Everyone always talks about the sweet perks of being in a relationship or even about the got-to-try sex tips to make your guy's jaw drop. But, gals, when you actually live with your boyfriend, really gross stuff is bound to happen. It just so happens that all of that not-so-sexy-but-really-REAL stuff about being, well, HUMAN suddenly had to occur in one weekend for us.
The sinus infection/head cold/sexy time killer from Hell came into our lives right around Thanksgiving. It started with a benign cough and sleepiness for us both and morphed into a phlegm monster intent on encouraging a dry spell that could break records (well, for us anyway). We decided date night would be spent at home, on the couch, watching the newest Harry Potter (We had planned to watch the Victoria's Secret fashion show that we had DVRed but I'm no masochist…). Tissues were thrown everywhere, we Neti Pot-ed together (so gross, but SO good) and we slept with the humidifier on that night (it doesn't get hotter than that, I know).
Just when our weekend couldn't get any more unromantic (and, well, gross), the new medicine we both started began messing with our stomachs. Remember that episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte and Harry got food poisoning? Well, we weren't that bad, but it certainly felt like it at the time (and, hello, only ONE bathroom!). On Sunday afternoon J looked over at me and said, "This just got REAL."
I suppose, in a way, we've crossed another relationship milestone. I mean, we went through something. These are the parts of a mature relationship that no one talks about that bring you closer when you go through them together because, hey, it's real life!
Have you ever been sick with your boyfriend at the same time? Think this is a (although unpleasant) "relationship milestone"? Do you have any totally gross (but real!) stories like this? Will J and I ever feel better and end our dry spell? Sigh.
More on living with your boyfriend at Glamour.com:
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Published November 17, 2022 12:27pm EST

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MANCHESTER, England - A top plastic surgeon to the wealthy admitted having sex with patients who went to him for breast surgeries, a medical tribunal heard in the United Kingdom .
Dr. Olivier Branford, 49, allegedly encouraged "emotional attachment" with patients, showered them with compliments, sent them sexually explicit messages and images, which included nude photographs of himself, and shared details of his sexual fantasies.
The married father of three had sex with one woman at The Cadogan Clinic, in Chelsea, London, after telling her that he wanted to make her his "muse."
He had sex with another patient at the clinic after seeing photos of the "perfect" new breasts he had given her. 
Branford had another sexual encounter with a third patient at the clinic while she was still recovering from breast enlargement surgery and it was not "clinically advisable."

Dr. Olivier Branford arriving at a tribunal in Manchester, England.
(Photo credit: Peter Powell)
Branford admitted to all but four of the 18 charges against him when he appeared before the U.K.’s Medical Practitioners' Tribunal Service.
Ian Brook, prosecuting for the General Medical Council (GMC), said one patient, a fashion model referred to as Patient A, contacted him about having a breast reduction due to her back and shoulder pain and self-esteem issues.
She told Branford she suffered from body dysmorphia , depression and anxiety and "hated the way she looked."
He responded by saying he could "fix her and make her love her body."
Over time, the messages became more flirtatious, Brook said, with Branford telling the woman that he "loved her body" and that "he wanted her to become his muse" so he could paint her.
Other messages described sexual fantasies which included them "French kissing" and touching and stroking each other.
Branford admitted to having "pangs of guilt" about his feelings towards her because he did not want to hurt his children and begged her to become his "secret lover" so he would not feel guilty.

Plastic surgeon Dr. Olivier Branford arriving at a tribunal in Manchester, London. Branford is accused of taking advantage of vulnerable patients.
(Photo credit: Peter Powell)
They had sex twice during a consultation in August 2019 and again the next month after he first used oil to massage her breasts.
The tribunal heard about a second patient, a married woman referred to as Patient B, who wanted a breast reduction , which Branford carried out in July 2019.
When he saw photos of the results, Branford said her breasts were "perfect" and those of a "20-year-old."
Branford sent the woman sexually-explicit messages, telling her, "I am French so sensuality is good. You are very desirable and sexy."
The woman told him she was "very inexperienced" and had only had three lovers, but he promised to be "careful and gentle" with her.
They had sex at his clinic in October 2019, but her feelings towards him then changed because it was no longer "special between them." She reported him to the clinic and the GMC.
Branford had sex with a third patient, a model known as Patient C, after she had undergone a breast enlargement operation in February 2020.
He flirted with her during an initial consultation and gave her his phone number, and liked her Instagram photos - one showing her in the back of a taxi wearing lingerie and thigh-high boots - and described her as "elegant."

Dr. Olivier Branford a well known plastic surgeon in the UK arriving at a tribunal in Manchester, England.
(Photo credit: Peter Powell)
Feelings between them became "mutual," the tribunal heard, and Branford told her to come for a "full body consultation" and sent her messages about what fantasies they would act out when they met.
Branford advised her to book a "false" appointment and have a shot of cognac beforehand for her anxiety. They had sex in "multiple positions" when she arrived at clinic, despite him knowing it was not "clinically advisable" for a patient to do so for at least two weeks following breast surgery.
The prosecutor said it was the GMC’s contention that Branford "encouraged" the women to become attached to him, but the attachment was "all one way".
The surgeon admitted to fostering an improper emotional relationship with Patients A and B - but not C - and that actions with all three were sexually motivated.
Branford denies knowing the women were vulnerable due to Patient A's body dysmorphia, Patient B's low self-esteem and Patient C's anxiety.
Branford, who is currently suspended, could be struck off the medical register if his fitness to practice is found impaired.
The tribunal will make a decision on the charges Branford has not admitted guilt for next Monday.
Ian Leonard is a freelance journalist who reports on UK news for Fox News Digital. Ian has contributed articles to The Times, The Daily Telegraph, The Guardian, Daily Mail, The Sun, Daily Mirror, and many others. He's also worked as a producer for BBC Radio 5 Live. He can be followed on Twitter @iancleonard 
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When My Little Sister Wants to Play 'Doctor'
My sister is 10 years old, and we all try to encourage her to use her imagination and play. In this day and age, I feel like sometimes everyone (including kids) are too busy looking at screens for entertainment instead of entertaining themselves. I try to explain to her that I wish I felt like doing all the things she can, but having chronic fatigue syndrome leaves me very limited.
Naturally, she wants to play games and do things with me. We might play a game on the card table, where I can lay in the chair on the heating pad. She plays restaurant and brings me food. She made her own menu and everything. Then we swap roles and I bring her fake food.
However, after we were done playing restaurant, she wanted to play doctor. This may sound silly, possibly petty or even me just being plain sensitive. I told her alright, we can play that. She asks me why I am there, and of course, playing doctor is no fun if there is nothing wrong with you. Right? It makes sense for a kid to want to have something wrong with the other. That is what playing doctor is anyway.
I just kept hoping she would not bring up my illness. She had done it in the past. She had asked why I was there and even had a cure for it. I wish she did, I guess she wished so too. I had to explain to her over and over how it works. Do I expect her to perfectly understand? Of course not. But it sometimes seems like she does not believe me.
In the end, all she did was say I had strep throat. She then “removed” my tonsils later.
Every time she asks if I want to play doctor, my stomach drops. I am sick of doctors. I am sick of going to doctors with all sorts of things wrong with me and being told there is either nothing they can do or they do not believe me.
I hate that I am this way, and I hate that the very thought of playing doctor fills me with such dread and fear.
I hate that I am 22 years old, and I have enough diagnoses on my chart that it takes up many pages.
I hate that the smallest thing like this triggers all these emotions. I hate explaining it, so I typically don’t.
When my younger sister wants to play doctor, I do. I play with her. I swallow these emotions, because the last thing I need to do is make her feel like she needs to walk on eggshells.
I try my best to not let everything affect me personally, like when people that say, “if you do not have a wheelchair, you should not use the handicap parking.”
It’s those who refuse to believe someone as young as me can relate on a personal level to my grandmother and have numerous health problems.
It’s those using my illness as a joke or a fake reason not to have a job.
It’s those people who direct something at one population, and yet I get offended.
I feel like ableism is real, but I also feel I need to remember not everyone is aware. I was not aware til I got sick at 19. I was not aware of the world of chronic illness.
Educate those around you. Spread awareness not just for the illness you personally have, but the whole spoonie world.
We want to hear your story. Become a Mighty contributor .
CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and Scoliosis. Possibly IBS. Depression. Married, 24. Taurus and INFJ. Demi.
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