Sex Teacher Student Jokes

Sex Teacher Student Jokes
Top 10 Funniest Teacher And Student Jokes and Puns

Following is our collection of funny Teacher And Student jokes . There are some teacher and student classmate jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these teacher and student junior high puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two. You have two, son.

Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.
Teacher: Well yes , but actually no
A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.

-- Did he say where he got it?

-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.

The father, cleaning his tears:

-- Did he really say that?
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
**An African student:** What's food?

**A European student:** What's scarcity?

**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?

**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.

He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"

The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".

The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
S: "My grandma was arriving at the train station so i was centimeter"

T: "No, no, that's 'Sent to meet her'. Okay, try another one. Use 'contagious' in a sentence please"

S: "I had to wait at the train station for hours because it took that contagious!"
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?

Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.

Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?

Then I'd be a football fan.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.

Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
You can explore teacher and student math teacher reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean teacher and student school dad jokes. There are also teacher and student puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"

Student: I is the...

Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"

The student replied, "Two dollars."

"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.

"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
Jamaican student - 'De cheetah is faster dandelion'
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
*An Arab student emails his dad:*

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.

*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*

My dear loving son,

Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love,
your Dad
Little Jenny stood up and said "My dad has a cold and said its contagious"

The teacher praised Jenny and ask for an example from another student.

Billy stood up and said "Miss, my mum has the flu, and I think its contagious"

Happy with Billy's response, the teacher asked for one more student to stand up and give an example.

Little Johnny stood up...

"Miss, my next door neighbour is painting his house with a 1 inch brush and my dad said its going to take the contagious."
Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"
Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
I was then fired from my job as a special ed. teacher
1st Student: I go and buy weed from Yakobo
2nd Student: I always go and buy cigarettes from Yakobo.
3rd Student: I go and buy cocaine from Yakobo.
4th Student: I always stay at home and do my homework.
Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you as the class monitor. You are a good example to other students. What's your name?
4th Student: Yakobo
The teacher begged, "Please, let's be rational here."
-Student: "Miss, would you blame someone for something that they didn't do?"

-Teacher: "No of course not. I would never do that."

-Student: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."
to which the teacher replies, "hey there no need to be so hard on yourself"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher:"There has to be at least one stupid student here"
*Timmy stands up*
Teacher:"Timmy do you think you're stupid?"
Timmy:"No, I just felt bad that you were standing alone"
She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!
After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.
The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?
Little Johnny replies: No ma'am, it's just painful to see you standing all alone.
Teacher asks class: "use the word Dandelion in a sentence"

Jamaican student: "the cheetah is faster dandelion"

*Everyone dies*
"I've been writing for two hours, yet i haven't answered a single question!" he complained.

"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher.
- Susan?

- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!

- Very good. What about you, Johnny?

- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!
She said "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tommorow. I might consider something like a car crash, or trump wins, but that's all. A student in the back of the room asked "What if i was suffering from complete sexual exhaustion?" The whole class laughed, but was silenced when the teacher said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand"
Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.

He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.

Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?

Student: No. I was standing on it.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the teacher and student classmates jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working teacher and student teacher piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.
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Published March 10, 2022 5:58pm EST
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Brooklyn substitute teacher Cassey McFadden tells ‘Fox & Friends First’ that the mayor should bring back the weekly COVID testing option.
A Washington state teacher has received a "letter of reprimand" after making sexually suggestive jokes with students during class, but the administration has declined to terminate the educator, saying such punishment would be too "extreme."
Casey Anderson, a teacher in the Anacortes School District, posted to social media an exchange with students about the novelty "cat butt" tissue dispenser in the classroom. Anderson described using Vaseline to load tissues into the dispenser.
"The Anacortes School District has conducted an investigation involving the high school teacher’s conversation in class and subsequent social media post about the conversation," Anacortes School District Superintendent Justin Irish told Fox News. "Both the post and the conversation were inappropriate and not tolerated by the district. The teacher admitted the conduct and has been cooperative with the investigation."
Anderson described the interaction on Facebook as a "recent entry" into "Things Ms. Anderson Will Hear About From HR."
"So in my room (picture attached) I have a cat butt tissue dispenser. Currently, the dispenser is out of tissues. A student noticed this and asked, 'How do you refill it?' I pause for a moment, then tell my class, 'I turn down the lights, put on some soft music, and use a LOT of vasoline,'" Anderson wrote on Facebook.

A container of Vaseline brand petroleum jelly.
(Gado/Getty Images)
Anderson went on to recount instructing students to retrieve a jar of petroleum jelly, commonly used as a sexual lubricant, from the classroom closet.
"I may have them retrieved [sic] a big container of petroleum jelly I had in my closet (for…reasons…) and placed it right by the cat," Anderson continued. "Class took a turn after that."
"The teacher received a formal letter of reprimand. On the continuum of possible repercussions of progressive discipline, this is an escalated response," Irish told Fox News.
"Although this conduct is concerning, it does not merit such an extreme result as termination. The district reached its decision in consultation with legal counsel, the teacher’s union and applicable state laws. The district expects all employees to adhere to professional standards and will continue to work with all staff to ensure that those standards are met."
The social media posts went viral after being posted to the widely followed Twitter account Libs of Tik Tok, which boasts over 500,000 followers.
Timothy Nerozzi is a writer for Fox News Digital. You can follow him on Twitter @timothynerozzi and can email him at timothy.nerozzi@fox.com
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This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. ©2022 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. Market data provided by Factset . Powered and implemented by FactSet Digital Solutions . Legal Statement . Mutual Fund and ETF data provided by Refinitiv Lipper .

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A 13 year old boy came home all happy.
His mom asked, "what did you do at school today hunny?"
"Oh i had sex with my teacher," he said calmly.
The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home.
When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, "Go talk to your son...he had sex with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!"
The dad with the BIG grin on his face walked upstairs.
He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.
The dad said, "son im so proud of u im going to get you that bike you have wanted."
They go out and buy the bike and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied,
"Nah dad my bum is still sore."

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