Sex Son 18

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Your son is 18. Legally, they are an adult. Physically, too. They are at the tail end of puberty, so their hormone secretions are wrapping up. They are also putting the finishing touches on their identity. And while their brain may still be developing in some ways, it's also maturing.
But there are many more milestones to go. Eighteen is the start of early adulthood. This is the year they'll seek out intimacy over isolation. They’ll transition from their home and school routines to the ones they'll create for themselves.
Here's where they are developmental what they are going through, and what they need from you (whether they think so or not).
They are communicating like an adult … possibly with everyone but you. Your son talks with friends, at school and at work, so they may not feel chatty at home.
But when they do, boys at this age often fine-tune their identity by picking arguments that help them verbalize their thoughts on moral issues. They may be able to communicate those ideas clearly, but they still might not be able to explain why they left the front door open all night. Again.
Socially, your 18-year-old son is becoming more confident in who they are and the decisions they make. They hang out with their clique but is also starting to understand what it means to care for others. They are likely focused on a more long-term love interest and prefers to spend more time with adults than teens. This makes them more open to adult guidance.
They get it: The world is opening up before them. Your 18 year old is starting to think in big-picture terms about things like future plans and goals.
And while they are becoming more realistic about their dreams, they are also more certain than ever that they are bulletproof.
Emotionally, they are separating from you as they rely more on themselves for what they need. They are still dependent on family in some ways, but are figuring out how to be an adult. That includes a greater capacity for intimacy and empathy.
They are past the growth spurt stage and their physical changes are winding down, so they are not as focused on what's happening in their body. They are likely as tall as they are going to be.
Your 18-year-old son has a better sense of their sexual identity and orientation than they have in years past. This opens the door to intimate sexual relationships focused as much on the emotional as the physical.
At 18, your son feels invincible. This boldness is helpful during the many new experiences they'll have at work and at school. But it can also cloud their idea of right and wrong when it comes to drugs, alcohol, sex, the internet, and the friends they choose.
When challenges arise, they'll learn a lot about how to cope and about their ability to bounce back. Leaving home, not leaving home, and entering college or the workforce may bring up normal feelings of anxiety or sadness that level out after a few days.
Depression hangs around. Look for angry outbursts, loss of interest in favorite hobbies or sports, lack of energy, weight loss or weight gain, and academic problems.
This is a time of transition for you, too. When you look at your son, you may see both a child and an adult. While you straddle the line between being hands-on and hands-off, it's still important to take an active role in your son's life during this final stage of development.
Keep talking to them about drinking and driving, and the choices and consequences of drugs. Open their eyes to all the ways they can make positive decisions for themselves.
Encourage them to stay physically active, especially if they have moved on from high school sports teams.
The pressure to be part of the conversation on social media may cause them to check their phone compulsively. If they've moved out of the house, they may need help figuring out how much gaming and screen time is too much. Talk to them about priorities like studying and sleep. Help guide them on how to balance screen time with sports, activities, and in-person communication.
Most importantly, be present and available when they are around. Create opportunities, like taking a walk, to create spaces where they feel comfortable to share what's going on with them or ask for guidance. Even if you don't agree with their opinions, be respectful of them.
You’re still their parent. And they still need you to be a parent, not a friend. Model the adult you want them to be.
WebMD Medical Reference Reviewed by Renee A. Alli, MD on March 06, 2021
Michigan State University Extension: "18-19-year-olds: Ages and Stages of Youth Development."
KidsHealth: "Communication and Your 13-18 year old."
Children's Health: "Wellness by Age: 17-18 years."
Hunter College: The City University of New York "Late Adolescence (18-21 years old)."
Advocates for Youth: "Growth and Development, Ages 18 and Over — What Parents Need to Know."
Mayo Clinic: "College Depression: What Parents Need to Know."
Center on Media and Child Health: "Media Addiction Tip Sheet: Ages 14-18."
Young Men's Health, the Division of Young Adult Medicine at Boston Children's Hospital: "Communicating Effectively with your Son."
© 2005 - 2021 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

One mom has no idea what she should do after she discovered that her 18-year-old son was having sex with her sister-in-law. Originally, she thought that having her brother and his family come stay with them at their farm would be a nice change. Their families could bond, she reasoned. But perhaps her son and his aunt took that spirit a little too literally.
They own a house on a large farm, she explained on the r/relationship_advice forum, and because they'd all been working from home they thought "it would be a good chance to stay together as family and for my nieces to spend time on the farm," she explained.
As for the mom, she has three kids of her own: a 13-year-old daughter, a 16-year-old daughter, and a son who's 18 years old.
Like when they recently went grocery shopping together and he splintered off from his mom to go buy "gym supplements."
"I saw condoms in my son's plastic bag when we arrived at the house two packs with 36 condoms each so 72 in total (didn't think anything of it thought he had gotten a GF and wanted to be safe)," she wrote.
It seemed very "normal" until recently when the mom was baking in the house and realized that she never actually saw them run around the property.
"I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (I thought nothing of this everything seemed normal)," she continued. "My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond."
She was coming home from a friend's house before the sun came up when she noticed there was a light on in a cabin that they have on the property.
"I thought maybe one of the employees had forgotten to lock up," she explained. "So I went to close the door and switch off the light as I got closer I heard people having sex and I took a [peek] and it was my son and SIL having sex. I didn't confront them I was so in shock."
Does she confront them? Does she tell her husband? Does she tell her brother?
"I've been doing a lot of thinking and I'm sure they have been having sex for a while from the condoms (my son was always at the house, never brought a GF), the morning runs around the farm (do they really go on a run or do they have sex?), the close relationship," she mused.
"I grew up on a farm and I'm just going to give you the advice no one here has yet -- hide the guns," one person advised. "Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it's gonna be bad."
"Tell husband first, then brother when son (and SIL + kids if possible) is out of the house," someone else suggested. "Come up with a plan with your husband to get them not living in your house anymore. Get a therapist for your son. No matter how 'consensual' this was, he's still young and this was a trusted family member who went after him. The months of lies alone will make him question his own integrity and could lead to issues.
"Lock up the weapons, not saying anything about your brother at all, but desperate people do desperate things," the person continued. "You never know how anyone involved will react. Hope for the best, plan for the worst."
"Tell your husband then sit down and talk to your son together, away from everyone else. Say, 'I know you and your aunt have been having sex. I need [you] to tell me what's going on,'" the person wrote. "Do not elaborate and do not tell him what or how you know. He will spill more information this way than if you give him details, because that means he can't lie as easily. Then get him and ALL of the kids out of the house before you talk to your brother."
In an update to her original post, she shared that she first went to her husband (who could barely believe it was true) and then her son, who'd seen her first post online and already knew that his mom knew about the illicit affair.
"He didn't deny anything, he confessed," she wrote. "He told us him and SIL have been having sex since February last year (he was 17 at the time). My son said it started on SIL's birthday party he attended they got drunk and had sex in a bathroom and they have been meeting at hotels ever since and sneaking off at family gatherings."
She wrote that her son told her the SIL initiated their first encounter and was the one setting up hotel rooms, buying him meals and giving him "an allowance."
He sent their son to stay in a condo they owned "in town as he didn't want to see him in front of him at this moment."
"When my son was gone my husband stormed into my brother's room and told my brother everything (SIL was not in the house at that moment)," she continued.
He demanded to know where his nephew was to "teach him a lesson," but the parents refused to tell him. Meanwhile, her SIL never returned -- which means her brother called her or her son tipped her off.
"In all the screaming and shouting my daughters heard everything and are devastated that their family might be ruined they miss their brother and are afraid my husband won't ever let him in the house again," she wrote. "My husband hates all forms of infidelity to the core and has always drilled this in our two eldest children that they must never cheat on anyone or be in a relationship with someone in a relationship."
He won't answer her calls or texts, and her husband advised her to give him space to "heal."
"My son has left the condo because he is afraid of what my brother will do to him and is now hiding at a friend's and he won't tell us which friend," she wrote. "No word on SIL."
It is probably best if her brother and his family leave the farm and allow them to work through things on their own, while she and her husband work together to get her son into therapy. Hopefully he can both get the support he needs but also realize that his actions have MAJOR consequences.
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