Sex Sister N Brother
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Sex Sister N Brother
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Countering "going to do it anyway."
I recently completed a graduate course in character education in which we were required to carry out an "action project." For my project I chose to use character-based sex education to try to instill in my younger sister and her friend the self-respect, self-control, and courage needed to lead moral, fulfilling, and healthy lives.
I wanted to inform my 14-year-old sister Kathy about something that I unfortunately just began to take seriously: abstinence. Sure, I have always known what the word meant, but I had never considered it an option for me, until recently. I felt that it was my responsibility to pass the philosophy of abstinence on to my sister because I know that she will not get it in the "going to do it anyway" program that is used at her high school. Also, she is a virgin (her friend is, too), so I wanted to show her how important it is to hold onto that purity.
I started these discussions when I accidentally overheard my sister Kathy, and her friend, Michelle, talking about a "slut" that one of their friends was dating. I asked them why they considered her a slut, and Michelle responded: "She has slept with at least eight guys already, and she is easy." I asked them to think about why this girl is so promiscuous. Kathy said, "She's trying to keep a boyfriend." They assumed that having sex was a way of holding onto a boyfriend and showing love for one another. They also assumed that condoms would protect them from disease and pregnancy and that having sex had no implications for their future adult lives. My goal was to dispel all these myths.
We first tackled the issue of sex as "showing love" or "keeping a boyfriend." I used the girl they were talking about as an example of how boyfriends come and go whether girls have intercourse with them or not. We also talked about girls' feelings when they are rejected after giving part of themselves to another person. I then told them about my having pre-marital sex, and how I wished these relationships had never occurred and that the only true way to find out if a guy loves you is to make him wait until marriage.
We talked about the self-respect and courage involved in leading sexually abstinent lives until marriage. These two young girls developed a new awareness of how truly loving relationships and commitments develop and are sustained. Their awareness was evident in their response to my disclosing that I recently told my boyfriend that I wanted to abstain from sex from now on and he said he could not do this. I asked Kathy and Michelle if they thought the relationship was worth continuing, and they both said, "No, he does not love you if he won't wait for you." I was proud of their answer.
I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine.
I also wanted to make these girls aware of the physical dangers of pre-marital sex. I gave real-life examples of teens who became pregnant or who contracted STDs even with the use of condoms; one of those persons was a close friend of mine. They were shocked to find out that this friend contracted herpes from sexual intercourse while using a condom. We considered the possible implications of such diseases: the inability to conceive a baby, passing on a sexual disease to your spouse, and transmitting a disease to your baby in the womb or during delivery.
Besides being more confident in their virginity, Kathy and Michelle have now set the personal goal of saving sex for marriage. They also no longer pick apart boys or girls who are sexually active by calling them "sluts" or "pimps" but instead focus on the deeper consequences of such behaviors and on what promiscuous girls and boys must be lacking in their lives.
My sister and Michelle have recently asked two of their friends to join us in our discussions. I've also shared my project with the parents of these girls. These parents are beginning to realize that abstinence-based sex education is more beneficial than the model now used at their daughters' high school.
A pdf version of this article is available here .
Jessica Burberry. "Teaching my younger sister about sex and love." excellence & ethics (Summer, 1998).
Reprinted with permission. Excellence & Ethics , published by the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs , is the education letter of the Smart & Good Schools Project. It features essays, research, and K-12 best practices that help school leaders, teachers, students, parents, and community members do their best work (performance character) and do the right thing (moral character).
excellence & ethics is published twice a year and may be subscribed to, without cost, here .
Jessica Burberry (a pseudonym) is a first-year elementary school teacher and a graduate student in education at SUNY Cortland.
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NR
1 hr 45 min Drama ,
Comedy
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Brother and sister sharing a room in Marrakesh?
Brother and sister sharing a room in Marrakesh?
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I'm planning on taking the family to Marrakech for a few nights and whenever we go abroad I always book my son (20) and daughter (19) into a twin room. I've heard some Muslim countries don't let unmarried couples have a shared room, but are opposite sex siblings ok or would that be a problem do you think?
It will be absolutely no problem for them to share a room.
Since they are related, it probably will be allowed. Your daughter might be asked to wear a chastity belt though, to make sure nothing inappropriate occurs. The hotel receptionist will lock it at night and unlock it in the morning, the key is at the front desk. Not all hotels require this though.
if your kids are not Muslim i do not think there would be any problems even if they were not brother and sister.
i have seen many unmarried Americans and Europeans share a room.
In not sure if your just trolling or still believe this.
Your daughter might be asked to wear a chastity belt though
To the OP, completely ignore this nonsense.
Though it could be a joke. But who knows lol 😂
But to be clear, no one is going to be asked to wear a chastity belt.
Just to back this up, before I was married I shared a bed and a room with my partner many times in Morocco .
Telling people silly things about chastity belts is not on.
I have to chime in with the fact that my adult children visited Morocco in 2010 and traveled around for a month. They always shared a room.......
I wish I had read comment #2 before it was removed, if only for a laugh!
Their names are Margaret and Steve!
I'm sharing a room right now in Marrakech with a goat.
Comment #2 was my good old chastity belt joke.
It was clearly a joke. Not sure why it was removed.
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