Sex Positions In The Shower
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Sex Positions In The Shower
Published on November 1, 2021 @ 10:00AM
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Maressa Brown is a journalist and astrologer who's a regular lifestyle contributor and resident astrologer for InStyle. She has nearly two decades of professional experience writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle content for a variety of digital and print consumer-facing publications including Parents, Shape, Astrology.com, and more. She is currently based in Los Angeles and completing her first title with Artisan Books to be published in early 2023.
There are certainly many reasons people generally have sex in bed. It's comfortable, and it's the most convenient way to follow up your romp with snuggling or sleep. But sticking to the same ol' routine for too long can result in a snoozefest. Thankfully, taking your routine out of the bedroom could make for even more pleasure — and, in the case of shower sex, a seriously steamy time.
"Shower sex can be pretty hot and passionate, movie-like even sometimes," says Zhana Vrangalova , Ph.D., New York University professor of Human Sexuality and a sexpert for LELO. "It shows raw desire for each other and brings a level of novelty in a relationship, providing a nice break from the routine of the bedroom as most people's go-to location for sex. Seeing each other naked and wet can be quite arousing too, and the hot water can feel soothing and relaxing."
Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D., Astroglide 's Resident Sexologist, agrees, adding, "Any change of location can heighten awareness and sensitivity. And the texture and temperature of the water can awaken nerve endings across the entire body to promote full-body sensations of pleasure."
As sexy as that might sound, it's natural to find yourself feeling intimidated about how to have shower sex comfortably. Here, expert-approved tips and shower sex positions to get it on while soaping up.
One of your biggest concerns about shower sex could very well be losing your balance, slipping, and falling — something that can happen to even the most limber of us even when you're not trying to get it on in a narrow, wet space.
"It's not always as smooth as in the movies, it certainly has its challenges," says Vrangalova. "People can slip and fall, the number of positions is more limited, water is not a lubricant so penetration can be uncomfortable and painful, soap can get into your mouth, etc. That said, with some prep and care, all of these potential drawbacks can be minimized or worked around, so it's really worth taking a shot."
To maximize your chances of minimizing these bumps in the road, O'Reilly as well as Amy Baldwin, sex educator, sex and relationship coach, and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast and Kristine D'Angelo , a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach, offer a few simple dos and don'ts.
This is an option that works well for anyone who's just beginning to dip their toe into shower play, as it can be easier to switch up your position in the moment and to find a more comfortable position.
"If you're giving oral to a person with a penis, have them stand with their back against the wall and get down on your knees," suggests O'Reilly. "If you're under the flow of water, make sure you have space to breathe."
You might also sit on the edge of a bathtub facing your standing partner, says D'Angelo. "This gives you the perfect height to give them oral pleasure," she notes.
And if you're receiving oral as a person with a vagina , stand upright and place one foot up on the side of the tub or on a shower stool, says O'Reilly. "Have your partner sit or kneel beneath you," she notes.
If your shower has a tub, you can take advantage of it by having the penetrating partner lie down in the tub while the receiving partner hops on top, says D'Angelo. "While the water rains down, you can either face your partner or away," she notes.
This can be made even more comfortable if you have a seat-shelf or bench in the shower, says Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist with SexualAlpha . "While pumping up and down, play with your clit or nipples or guide your partner's hands on your erogenous zones for added pleasure," she notes.
This is an "amazing" move that might also appeal especially to beginners, says D'Angelo. "You can do this standing facing each other or with one person seated and your partner standing over you," she notes. "It's fun to watch your partner touch themselves."
And if you want to bust out a toy, Moore recommends considering the LELO Gigi 2 G-spot vibrator . "The flattened tip hits the G-spot well," she notes. "It also doubles as a clitoral massager when you hold it upside down."
Vrangalova says this is the most common shower sex position and one of her favorites. The receiving partner faces the shower wall with their hands pressed against it while the other then penetrates from behind with their penis, toys, or fingers.
She adds that this position is also great for rimming (aka analingus), which some people might avoid elsewhere due to cleanliness concerns but might be more up for trying in the shower.
Turn the previously mentioned position around, and you have this one, which is basically missionary standing up. Vrangalova advises the receiving partner to lift one leg — or place it on a footstool, shower chair, or bench seat — so the other can then enter while facing them.
Although it might get passed off as vanilla , this is the second most common shower sex position, according to Vrangalova, which is no surprise because having sex face-to-face boosts intimacy and allows for lots of kissing and touching.
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When you conjure a mental image of shower sex, it’s probably a bit cinematic. Considering most of us lived through the glory days of rom-com sex scenes, it typically looks like two people thrusting and kissing passionately under a flow of water, hot steam rising out from above the sliding glass door as the camera pans out to the rest of bathroom and its newly-renovated veneer. But I wonder: Has anyone ever actually had good shower sex that’s perfect and polished?
It’s more likely that real shower sex looks like water and mascara mixing down your cheeks, having a shit ton of fun soaping up your partner, and experiencing intimacy like a real human that can laugh through the messy bits. Because let’s be real and clear something up: Water is not a lubricant , and the architecture of some showers are a cramped accident waiting to happen. So, when you’re dealing with something as slippery as shower sex, you can expect things to go awry — but that’s okay! It can pretty much be anything you want it to be, in whatever type of shower-y bathroom situation you have available to you.
There are so many meaningful ways to leverage shower sex and help your relationship take on a new, more intense flavor by hopping in a stream of water and sliding around. Here are a few shower sex positions to try that are accessible for everyone (even those of us that lack the terrifying flexibility and coordination that sex in water might require).
Think of this shower version of missionary, because it’s a great go-to front-facing position that still gets you hot-and-bothered.
With you and your partner both standing, hitch your leg around their hip, or prop one foot on the edge of the tub or shower stool (to keep things sturdy). From here, your partner can enter you, introduce a waterproof vibrator , tease you with a detachable shower head, or whatever the mood calls for.
Soggy doggy is a slight twist on the most classic standing doggy-style. Lean forward and brace your hands on the shower wall or floor for stability, with your knees slightly bent. You partner can penetrate you from behind, or reach forward to tease your clit or breasts. A non-slip bath mat can help support this position if any thrusts tend to be especially powerful.
When having shower sex, you want to have fun and not overthink it, but there are some logistics to consider. To make sure you’re not stuck in a compromising and wet situation, this position allows you and your partner to sit on the floor, so there’s no slipping or falling.
Here’s how it works: Have your partner sit on the tub floor and straddle them in whatever position you like — and you guessed it — then simply take a ride on top. This allows for clitoral access, G-spot stimulation, and the ability to pull your partner even closer, all while being immersed in a warm flow of water.
That’s a pretty sexy name, right? When there’s not a lot of space to get creative, a little oral never fails.
For this position, stand and face the shower head, or sit on a shower stool if you have one available. Your partner can kneel in front of you and please you with their mouth, adding fingers or a rumbly waterproof sex toy for extra fun, all while the warm shower water cascades over both of you (hint: that’s where the waterfall part comes in). Ask your partner to take turns, so they can enjoy being on the receiving end for a little while.
If penetration and the ultimate task of shower sex isn’t your thing, don’t worry, because those positions don’t cover a fraction of all the ways you can have fun — there are other ways to enjoy a sexy shower moment with your partner, from scrubbing each other’s bodies to mutual masturbation .
An easy way to please? Play with yourselves while kissing or watch each other masturbate. Stand behind your partner and reach around them for a handy with silicone-based lubricant. If you’re feeling lazy, just have a steamy makeout session under the showerhead or lying in the tub.
Basically, have shower sex on your terms, without getting stuck on the traditional requirements.
A version of this story was published November 2019.
Before you go, check out 69 sex positions you should add to your bucket list:
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Shower sex is one of those things that’s almost always better in theory than it is in practice. Cue every romantic movie ever, where one person steps into the shower to find their partner rinsed and ready to go. Seriously, they’re never mid-shave with shampoo in their hair or running late for work—not to mention, someone is always orgasming within 5 seconds of player 2 entering the game. It’s all lies—anyone who’s actually attempted shower sex knows how awkward it can be (and how borderline acrobatic shower sex positions can get).
But sometimes, shower sex is good—really good . Sometimes, you find a shower sex position that’s totally comfortable—one that leaves you fully planted, stable and not at all at risk of falling to the ground. (It happens.) Sometimes, shower sex ends up perfectly lubricated, and not full of endlessly perplexing dry spots. (Seriously, how it is it possible for sex to be dry in the wettest place in your house?) Sometimes, shower sex is everything you want it to be . And it’s these moments that keep us going—that inspire us to attempt shower sex , time and time again, despite all the shower sex scenarios-gone-wrong. So how can we get more of this , and less of the awkward stuff?
The first step is to nail your lubrication situation, Natasha Chinn, M.D., New Jersey-based OB-GYN, tells StyleCaster. While water seems like nature’s lubricant, it can actually cause dryness during sex, Chinn says. That’s because the water washes away your body’s natural lubricant. To avoid this, stay away from friction-ful penetrative sex—or keep a little lube nearby. And definitely don’t reach for the soap. “You’ll have someone think they’ll just put soap on their penis for lubricant, and all I have to say is: Don’t do that!” Chinn adds. “You’ll have good sex one day, and now you’re burning with discharge the next. Not really the way you want to go.” (According to the National Institutes of Health, soap can alter the pH balance of your vaginal microbiome —which can pave the way for yeast overgrowth, or some other kind of infection. Remember, your vagina is self-cleaning—adding anything to the mix might mess up the delicate balance of bacteria that keeps you infection-free.)
Now that you’re clear on how to avoid dryness during shower sex, your next step is to find a shower sex position —or a few shower sex positions —that keep you feeling totally stable. Naturally, we have some ideas. Ahead, you’ll find seven tried-and-tested shower sex positions that—at least, in our experience—may minimize your risk of straight-up slipping. Remember, take full advantage of any seats, walls or handles you have access to. And—pro tip—invest in a bath mat.
Seriously, just sit down. It really is one of your safest bets. Have the person with a penis or strap-on (if it’s waterproof) sit down and lean their back against the end of the tub with their legs extended straight out. This allows the other partner to straddle them, without risk of anyone falling.
Tip: Before sitting down, position the shower head so that it’s not spraying anyone in the face. Instead, tilt it downward so the straddling partner can feel the warm water running down their back, and so the penetrating partner can feel it tickling their inner thig
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