Sex Positions For The First Time
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Sex Positions For The First Time
By Kristine Thomason and Jasmine Gomez Published: Nov 4, 2021
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Kristine Thomason Fitness & Wellness Editor
Jasmine Gomez Associate Commerce Editor
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Hey, there's nothing wrong with the classics.
Some people call missionary, the most basic and easy-to-DIY of all sex positions , ~vanilla~, but it doesn't have to be. News flash: You don't need to be insanely flexible or perform acrobatic-level moves with your romping buddy to have amazing sex. (Promise!)
That's because sex isn't only about what's happening between our bodies, says Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, a certified sex therapist and author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients . "A big part of the experience is what happens between our ears. In other words, the headspace we create for ourselves and our partners," she says. "Incorporating elements of erotic conversation , role play, teasing, and lingerie can make 'easy' sex incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved."
While occasionally trying to perform advanced moves can make sex even hotter for some, it can also serve as a distraction, adds Goerlich. "Trying to replicate the gymnastic positions you see in porn videos or erotic guides can feel distracting or even confusing, which pulls you out of the moment and diminishes pleasure and sense of connection."
Focusing on easier sex positions allows you to live in the moment, which can enhance those orgasmic sensations. "When we keep things simple, we are able to experience the moment more fully and connect to our partners more deeply," Goerlich says. "We're able to maintain our presence without mentally brainstorming what position we should twist into next, or thinking about that cramp in our leg, or worrying we're going to slide off the bed." You know you've been there.
So when you think about it that way, easy sex positions don't sound so bad, do they? Ready to keep it hot, but turn things down justtt a notch? Stick to the moves on this list.
How to: For this position, lie on your back while your partner lies facedown on top of you, and enters you from here.
Why it's great: A true classic, missionary is a great go-to sex position . It's simple and surprisingly versatile—you can make minor changes, like shifting the angle of your legs, or moving your hips differently, to mix things up.
How to : Straddle your partner, and lower yourself onto their penis or strap-on. Feel free to lean forward to kiss them, push off their chest, and slide up and down their thighs as you bounce up and down. You can relieve some of your weight from their pelvis by leaning back and supporting yourself on their thighs.
Why it's great: In this position, you get to take control over the speed and intensity of the penetration. You can also change things up by widening your knees or bringing them closer to your partner's body for different sensations.
How to: Switch up traditional cowgirl with this option. Start by kneeling on top of your partner, pushing off their chest and sliding up and down the thighs. But with this position, your partner helps by supporting some of your weight and grabbing your hips or thighs while they rise to meet each thrust.
Why it's great: This sex position puts less stress on your legs, making climaxing easier. Plus, if you're with a guy, female-dominant sex positions delay his climax—so everyone wins. Try switching between shallow and deep thrusts, to see how the movement stimulates your vagina and clit differently.
How to: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
Why it's great: There's simply no position better for morning sex—the simple yet effective spoon is definitely one you should have on your radar. It allows for lots of skin-to-skin contact, an amazing angle of penetration, and built in cuddling. Plus, your partner can easily reach around to give your clit some extra love.
How to: This position takes a classic (doggy style) and makes it a little more low-key. Simply lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised. Have your partner enter you from this position.
Why it's great: This sex position allows you to relax and enjoy the ride. You can also try swiveling your hips to create a new sensation for your partner. Bonus: Your partner has easy access to your clit (yes, please!).
How to: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
Why it's great: This position puts you up close and personal with your partner, which can be incredibly sexy. Plus, you get to control of the angle and depth of every thrust. Not to mention, being seated helps conserve energy (can you say sex marathon?). While in this position, try exploring your partner's body with your hands—and maybe even learn one of their under-the-radar erogenous zones while you're at it!
Kristine Thomason is the fitness & wellness editor at Women's Health , where she edits, writes, and helps oversee the food and fitness sections of the website and magazine. She's also a NASM-certified personal trainer. Kristine has spent her editorial career focused on health and wellness—that includes teaming up with certified trainers to create workout routines, reporting on fitness trends, and interviewing experts about the latest health and wellness research. She’s an NYU graduate with a degree in journalism and psychology. In the past, her work has also appeared in Health , Men’s Health , Greatist, Refinery29, and more.
Jasmine Gomez is the Associate Commerce Editor at Women’s Health and covers health, fitness, sex, culture and cool products. She enjoys karaoke and dining out more than she cares to admit.
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The first time we have sex with a new partner can be incredibly exciting. There’s the exhilaration of the unknown, the delight of discovering the hidden sweet spots and distinct turn-ons and kinks. But it can also be incredibly nerve-wracking. Will you be sexually compatible? Will they be into the same bedroom fun as you? And can you make that first time explosive without being too aggressive too fast?
Tanya Tate , an award winning performer and director, says that even the professionals don’t try to go for all the bells and whistles the first time out of the gate.
"Do porn stars show off on the first time they hook up for sex with someone? Personally I prefer more intimate positions, even though if someone has watched my movies they know I am capable of doing a whole load of wild things,” she states. “When it’s the first time, they don’t get the whole show. I make them work for it; it gives them something to want to come back for. I want to feel the chemistry and let sex take its natural course as opposed to “acting” like a porn star in the bedroom."
Additionally, sex and relationship coach Tatiana Dellepiane points out that “we tend to be in our heads, creating stories about ourselves and our partner."
"Judging and criticizing is not sexy," she tells AskMen. "When we overanalyze each other and ourselves, we lose excitement and pleasure. We can enjoy every moment if we just tune into our bodies, let go and have fun.
When engaging in foreplay or sex, let go of the expectation of coming or making her come, says Dellepiane. “When you let go of agenda, you can relax into the experience and feel more pleasure. It also helps her to feel safe and to know that you are not giving in order to get,” she adds.
“When we are in sync with our breath it brings us into a trance state. Both partners will become connected to their bodies and their breath, and that brings serotonin (happy drug) levels up,” says Dellepiane.
“Looking into each other's eyes can create increased intimacy and connection and can be playful and sexy,” says Dellepiane. Plus, for more intimacy, try caressing. When we caress each other with feather-light touch, we actually feel more sensation and pleasure.
“The more often we do it, the more you feel. Touching in this way raises the anticipation of sex, which increases dopamine levels in the body,” adds Dellepiane.
You shouldn't be too aggressive or presumptuous the first time you have sex with someone new.
“Aside from missionary, a good position to try is her on top. This way she can feel like she's in control and you can reinforce how sexy she looks and feels from that vantage point,” says dating and relationship expert Andrea Syrtash , author of the new Audible book, He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing) .
WhilesSome sex positions (like, say, anal ) are something to work up to, others ensure a fun time right off the bat. Below, you'll find some great ones that will get your groove off to a strong start with someone new.
This position involves sitting up straight looking at each other's eyes.
“She straddles him wrapping her legs around him. I like this position because you both are giving and receiving. It creates instant connection and intimacy,” says Dellepiane.
“She has more control of the experience, which is helpful in a culture that tends to put much of the pressure to perform on men,” says Dellepiane.
This is especially helpful if it's your first time and you don't know much about what they like.
“She has the opportunity to take charge and show him how fast, slow, hard or soft she tends to like it. This is very important information when you are just getting to know a new partner,” she adds.
It's a safe and loving position that helps build trust.
“It doesn't have to be boring," states Dellepiane. "Placing a pillow underneath her butt can increase pleasure by changing the angle. Using your hands to touch different parts of her body can make the sex less genitally focused (like it is in porn). This can help men to last longer and have more of a total body experience."
“You can raise one of her legs or knees so that you're entering her at a better angle. Think of your body lying on a five-degree rotation from hers,” says Billy Procida, host of The Manwhore Podcast . This will also allow more space for a deeper thrust. “Remember, you don't need to be long to get deep!” he adds.
“Take a knee! Act like football practice and be on one knee instead of two. You'll have a better range of motion and better ability thrust deeper. This tweak is also more comfortable than kneeling on two knees with your legs squeezed together,” says Procida. “Give her ass a squeeze. If she moans, give it a (moderate!) slap for good measure."
This is a great position for new lovers who aren’t quite comfortable with eye contact during sex.
“Take the classic reverse cowgirl and have the man bend his knees so that the woman can grind and rub her pelvic area against his lower legs during penetration," says Jess O'Reilly, author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction & Foreplay. "He gets a great view and the ability to thrust from below and she gets to control the pace and depth while facilitating the clitoral rubbing that tends to lead to orgasm."
“This is the ultimate intimate connection,” says Garren James, founder of Cowboys4Angels , a high-end luxury male companion agency. “There is no better way to get your new lady friend excited, and screaming your name than showing her you aren’t afraid to get down. It’s a very intimate moment and can really connect two people, literally through all your five senses!"
This position allows deep penetration, access to her G-spot, and eye contact. “If you want to be a little more adventurous but not come off to strong, have her rests her calves on your shoulders, and if she’s extra flexible the position can be even more fun," says James. "You can deeply penetrate in this position so thrust in slowly at first to measure her pain. It’s a great way to also reach her G-spot, as well as still maintain eye contact."
4 Best Gentle Sex Positions For Virgins (And Anyone Who Likes Pain-Free Sex)
Kiarra Sylvester is a relationship writer and sex expert based in Atlanta. You can find her on Instagram .
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By Kiarra Sylvester — Written on Apr 15, 2021
Losing your virginity is supposed to be a special and intimate time, but can be associated with a lot of fear, especially for women.
The average age people have sex for the first time is around 16 for guys and around 17 for girls. Despite this relatively young age, teacher Anna Thea says , "There is literally almost no education supporting a virgin. And virgins need a lot of support during this rite of passage."
Oftentimes there is fear around how much it will hurt and how gentle the sex will (or will not) be.
But losing your virginity is not a one-size-fits-all experience and the expectations are so high that first-timers are often left disappointed and some people experience pain.
Yes, your first sexual experience with penetrative sex can hurt, and that's why finding the best position to lose virginity can make your first time better and more intimate.
Planned Parenthood explains that the first time you have vaginal sex there might be pain and bleeding due to deeper penetration, but it doesn’t happen to everybody. Some people naturally have more hymenal tissue than others — this pain and bleeding can happen when their hymen ( a thin bit of skin that partially covers the vaginal opening ) gets stretched.
If it still hurts after your first time, you can slowly stretch your hymen tissue with your fingers over time to make it less painful. However, if you don't stop bleeding you should see a doctor because something may be wrong.
For guys, sex isn’t usually painful. Sometimes friction during their first time may cause irritation on the penis, but using lube can fix this.
According to a 2005 Society for Sex Therapy and Research member survey , vaginal sex typically lasts three to seven minutes and for the first time, it usually is lower.
We spoke to Sexpert Michelle Hope to see how to reduce pain during sex for everyone, but especially virgins having sex for the first time and her simple overarching advice was that comfortable sex starts with good lubrication and good communication.
That means you need to amp up the foreplay , fellas — our expert tells us women take longer to warm up.
"When we're talking about the most comfortable sex positions it's not always about the position, although yes, that's very important," says Hope. "It's also about lubrication and making sure you're lubricated enough to allow the vagina to stretch because during arousal a vagina can deepen from 2 to 4 inches, so it was definitively built for things to come in and go out — so it's more about lubrication."
Therefore, it's completely okay if you decide to use extra lube for your first time.
"Also, the best position is communication and rooting your sex experience in communication: what feels good and what doesn't feel good and how do we communicate stop if we need to and set boundaries. Because that's really a part of safe-play is actually knowing that you're safe, which can allow the body to relax and open up the vagina, which can allow for easier penetration," Hope continues.
Masturbating before having intercourse for the first time is highly recommended.
This way you have a bit of an understanding of what works and doesn't work for your body and you can communicate this to your partner. This can also help you figure out if you are ready to have sex.
Thea says, "First, if you can't talk about sex with the person you are attracted to then you shouldn't be having it. Your ability to communicate openly about your sexual needs is really important as you become a sexually active person."
If you’re feeling nervous, tell them. Tell them if you’re scared it will hurt. This way you can both adjust and find a solution to help you feel comfortable.
Together, you can take precautions to ensure that you’re both as physically and emotionally comfortable as possible. Also, communicate during the act. If you need him to go slower, tell him. Speak up when it hurts or something feels wrong.
Lots of eye contact can help with open communication.
If it's your first time (and you're a female) you probably won't orgasm. This is just because for women to reach that climax point it takes much more than it does for guys. In fact, research suggests that 11 to 41 percent of people with a vagina have difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner.
So have a realistic expectation of what losing your virginity will be like. It will probably be awkward instead of this perfect, magical, and romantic night.
It can still be a great time, it can feel like love. Just a little awkward and you might end up laughing. Just be ready for your first time to not be what the movies make it out to be.
You've probably heard this before, but the girl-on-top positions in reverse or just plain ol' cowgirl is a top-pick because it gives women more control of how deep your partner's penis is going.
If she isn't ready to take more, then she can go at her own pace and control the pain and discomfort.
"The benefit of the missionary sex position is the eye to eye contact, which allows you to make a connection with the person you're having sex with, which I think is very important when losing your virginity. Because my hope would be that it's consensual and intimate and you're able to look each other in the eye and you're able to communicate," explains Hope.
Make sure you're maintaining intimacy through a regular face-to-face missionary sex position to decrease discomfort for both parties.
Besides, communication is something that most of us desire when we're losing our virginity.
However, Hope also points out that much like "Girl on Top," this position allows you to guide the penis and take it piece by piece, if necessary.
If you're looking to dive into doggy style as with anyt
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