Sex Party Philly

Sex Party Philly
One man’s memories from the swinging life, in which threesomes and orgies aren’t reserved for porn stars but for married schoolteachers and, yep, suburban soccer moms.

By Anonymous ·

2/11/2017, 9:12 p.m.

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There was a time in my life when all my sexual adventures and misadventures originated in one way or another at the Rittenhouse Square outpost of La Colombe. Such was the case with my descent into the world of swingers parties.
My girlfriend at the time had the hots for one of the baristas, a real femme-fatale type who suggested we all go to a Halloween party together. But this wasn’t just any Halloween party. It was a full-fledged swingers party, the first of many we attended as the “throuple” we became.
Swinging may seem like some bearskin-rugged, lotioned-up practice from a bygone era, part of Uncle Ned and Aunt Myra’s past that you’d rather not know about. But the truth is, the scene is still going strong. From South Philly to the Main Line to Center City, there are swingers parties, sex parties and all-out orgies happening in warehouses, private homes and suburban motels. You don’t have to look very hard to find one.
And it’s not just older men with mustaches populating these things — although there’s always a guy sporting a big ol’ Burt Reynolds. At the parties in the city, which skew younger, there are plenty of experimental millennials you’d swear just waited on you at Standard Tap.
It’s common for a young couple to show up — the woman obviously dragged there by her boyfriend — and after 30 minutes of total abandon, he’s suddenly jealous of all the attention she’s getting but she can’t be pried away.
When we were at these parties, it was mostly voyeuristic. Oh, the three of us would have sex with each other, sometimes right next to other people engaged in other libidinous activities. But we weren’t into just randomly having sex with whoever walked into the room, although there were plenty of people more than willing to do just that.
Take, for instance, this one Eastern European woman in her late 40s, a married suburban schoolteacher with three kids — and the most enormous, snow-white breasts I’d ever seen. While her super-suave husband was getting a seemingly endless blow job on a couch (and man, what he had between his legs would make almost any guy feel inferior), we watched as on all fours, she went to town with six men ( six ) at the same time. Outside of porn, I had never seen anything like it before.
As our throuple dissolved — they always do — so did my excursion into that world. And I was happy to leave it. It’s difficult enough to sexually gratify one partner at a time, and relationships between just two people are plenty complicated. I’ll take the good old traditional one-on-one. But thanks for the memories.
*Some names in this essay have been changed.
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Loews Philadelphia Hotel • Philadelphia, PA
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Loews Philadelphia Hotel • Philadelphia, PA
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Adult Bingo Night - Halloween Edition
Adult Bingo Night - Halloween Edition
Stella Maris Catholic Church • Philadelphia, PA
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Adult Bingo Night - Halloween Edition
Adult Bingo Night - Halloween Edition
Stella Maris Catholic Church • Philadelphia, PA
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PhillyLiving & JerseyLiving Real Estate Fall Party
PhillyLiving & JerseyLiving Real Estate Fall Party
Libertee Grounds • Philadelphia, PA
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PhillyLiving & JerseyLiving Real Estate Fall Party
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Libertee Grounds • Philadelphia, PA
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2840 W Clementine St • Philadelphia, PA
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2840 W Clementine St • Philadelphia, PA
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Lunar Faire September 25th - New Moon in Libra!
Lunar Faire September 25th - New Moon in Libra!
Burlington County Fairgrounds • Springfield, NJ
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Lunar Faire September 25th - New Moon in Libra!
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Burlington County Fairgrounds • Springfield, NJ
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Free Day @ the LINC for Kids & Adults with Autism
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Lincoln Financial Field • Philadelphia, PA
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Lincoln Financial Field • Philadelphia, PA
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Nick’s Birthday Halloween Party (BIG30)
Nick’s Birthday Halloween Party (BIG30)
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Nick’s Birthday Halloween Party (BIG30)
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FREE The Pynk Pop Up..Down in the valley..
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600 Avenue of the States • Chester, PA
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600 Avenue of the States • Chester, PA
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Whitpain Greens Swim Club • Blue Bell, PA
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Ignite Impact Teen & Young Adult Worship Experience
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igniteCHURCH Philly • Philadelphia, PA
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igniteCHURCH Philly • Philadelphia, PA
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Not Your Average Suit and Tie Event
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New Jersey Adventure Aquarium • Camden, NJ
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Not Your Average Suit and Tie Event
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New Jersey Adventure Aquarium • Camden, NJ
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ITAVFoundation 5 year Anniversary Masquerade Fundraising Gala
ITAVFoundation 5 year Anniversary Masquerade Fundraising Gala
Blue Bell Country Club • Blue Bell, PA
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ITAVFoundation 5 year Anniversary Masquerade Fundraising Gala
ITAVFoundation 5 year Anniversary Masquerade Fundraising Gala
Blue Bell Country Club • Blue Bell, PA
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Brunch is a Drag - An Afternoon at Hogwarts!
Brunch is a Drag - An Afternoon at Hogwarts!
Southern Cross Kitchen • Conshohocken, PA
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Southern Cross Kitchen • Conshohocken, PA
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Philadelphia Exotic Paint and Sip Event
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The Adult Sip & Paint with a Nude Male Figure Model - Philly 7:00PM
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Enchanted Holiday Princess Ball - Philadelphia
Enchanted Holiday Princess Ball - Philadelphia
Sheraton Valley Forge Hotel • King of Prussia, PA
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Sheraton Valley Forge Hotel • King of Prussia, PA
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Speed Dating: The Grown & Sexy B.Y.O.B Edition | Norristown Sauce & BBQ
Speed Dating: The Grown & Sexy B.Y.O.B Edition | Norristown Sauce & BBQ
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PLEASUREcation Party

BDSM/Swinger Sex-Positive Dance & Play Party

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Welcome….you just found the HOTTEST, Members Only Lifestyle Club In Philadelphia. There is NO party on the East Coast that comes even close to a party at The Pleasure Garden Club! We are NOT a hotel party, NOT a little lounge, but an actual massive Night Club!
Come enjoy the high energy, erotic atmosphere in our club… We are open EVERY Friday (Couples, Single Ladies & Single Males) & Saturday (Couples & Single Ladies ONLY) .
Tickets are required to attend our events…these can be purchased through Ticketleap or in club. We hold over 300 people but have thousands of members! Tickets do sell out early for special events!
Our club is a BYOB ALL INCLUSIVE for
Proper Dressed adults 21+ with ID Only!
Come see why Philadelphia Citypaper gave us TWO Readers Choice awards! We are the club of club’s just ask your friends!

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“I'm from California, so when I moved here 10 years ago, I searched for a dungeon-club experience that felt right,” said Mistress Zeneca, creator of Cherry Noir, a kinky play party that celebrates seven years in Philly this fall.
It takes place at Saints and Sinners in Olde Richmond, one of the few venues in the city that offers this strictly adult kind of fun.
When she arrived in Philadelphia, she initially found the scene difficult to enter. “Every party felt like a cliquish bore. No one talked to people they didn’t know, and it felt standoffish,” she said. “I decided to create parties the likes of which I wanted to go to, with the emphasis on welcoming and getting to know people. I never want any of my guests to feel like they are invisible.”
It can be hard for adults to make friends, and attending a sex party might already be fraught with anxiety for some people. Add Philadelphia’s notoriously hard façade to the mix and Mistress Zeneca has her work cut out for her.
How exactly does one make a sex party more friendly?
“We have a set of Ambassadors of Love, whose whole job is to chat people up, keep everyone safe, make introductions, handle issues and guard scenes that need it,” she explained. “There are also fun kinky and geeky themes.”
Cherry Noir tends to crank it up to 11 with the themes, lighting, music and classes. “This is a labor of love for the Philadelphia community, so all feedback is heard, and we continuously try to make improvements,” she said.
Mistress Zeneca is not alone in describing the work of organizing safe, accessible, kinky parties as a labor of love. The job requires a lot of planning, onboarding and clever marketing to get around increasingly prudish social media rules. Despite that, it isn’t a particularly lucrative endeavor.
“While running these events is not fiscally rewarding, there is great satisfaction in knowing that we’re an event where many people get to discover themselves,” said Baron Battersea, one of the co-founders of the Aviary, a monthly BDSM event held at the William Way LGBT Community Center in the Gayborhood.
“A dear friend recently let me know that he and his fiance met at Aviary in person for the first time,” he said. “Every time I hear that someone has found a community, a friend or something about themselves, it reminds me of why it’s worth doing.”
The Aviary’s origin is a similar tale of not finding what was desired in the existing kink scene.
It was 2011. Baron Battersea and one of his collaborators, Goddess Thain, challenged themselves to be the change they wished to see. “The few accessible parties were in very loud, poorly lit, alcohol-fueled spaces,” he said, which raised concerns about being able to see well and hear safe words. Baron Battersea noted that they “tried to do something a bit different than what was out there. Over time, it seems to have worked out.”
What did the Aviary organizers do differently? According to Battersea, there are two big themes: “come as you are” and “feel free to learn and try new things.” Attendees may show up wearing street clothes, high-end fetish wear or “almost nothing at all. The goal is to be comfortable no matter who you are or what your kink is.” He adds that the Aviary was the first to designate a space at the party specifically for newbies.
“We also have a variety of housetops who are willing to not only play with people but also teach their skills and pass them on.” These tops can teach people about playing with rope, fire, electricity, corporal punishment and more. Education is also a component of the Pleasurecation events that Kati Kill hosts each month at the Pleasure
Garden in Southwest Philly. She’s been working in the sex industry for over 15 years, four and a half years ago was inspired to throw her own kinky party.
“I thought that a BDSM/kink/play/dance party with a sex-positive educational class would be a fun, interesting way to meet like-minded people and bring them together,” she said.
Attendees can check out interactive workshops on topics including electro-stimulation, rope bondage, impact play, consensual non-monogamy and more.
Full disclosure: This author has taught classes at Pleasurecation
What really sets Pleasurecation apart might be its sheer size. “The nightclub is large, which is great for accommodating all the members that come,” said Kati Kill, who estimated that 350 to 500 people attend her events on an average night. The Pleasure Garden is warehouse-like, with a big dance floor, space for vendors, open and partially obscured play areas, multiple bars, stages and a number of private rooms.
After the workshop lets out, the classroom converts to a dungeon.
Pleasurecation most closely fits pop culture depictions of BDSM parties, with its dark nightclub lighting and EDM radiating through its cavernous twists.
On the other end of the spectrum, Philly Music Hall (PMH) in Tacony might be the most different from the imaginations of movies and TV. Its look could be described as a kinky grandma’s house, with a St Andrew’s cross stationed next to floral wallpaper.
“PMH is different because it is not a once a month party. It is a community center which seeks to provide alt-sex and queer communities a safer and sober space to socialize and meet other people,” said PMH co-founder Deborah Rose.
The giant building that is home to PMH has a storied history since its construction in 1885. It housed lectures by PT Barnum and Susan B. Anthony, long before it was a sex-positive community center with movie and game nights, potluck dinners, Nerf battles and blood drives. It also provides low-cost and accessible kink and alt-sex education to the wider communities of Philadelphia. Most of its educational opportunities are open to non-members, according to Rose, who has been involved in the kink scene for over 10 years and was a co-organizer at the start of Aviary.
She reiterates that the lack of physically safe or sober spaces for playing prompted the creation of PMH.
“Most of the safest spaces were gatekept and not available to the newest members of our communities who needed them the most,” she said. “The idea of the Hall grew out of a need to provide a different kind of alt-sex community space to Philadelphia.”
Initially, there was some pushback when the Hall opened in the quiet residential neighborhood, as folks nearby initially feared an influx of sex work or drug use that never materialized. Over time, and thanks to a lot of community outreach, PMH has settled into peace with the neighborhood.
“We struggle to create legal and correctly zoned community spaces due to the sex-negative nature of many East Coast cities. Thanks, Puritans!” said Rose, adding, “Kinksters still face discrimination when outed. People lose their jobs, professionals can lose their licenses. One of the ways we see it commonly play out is in custody battles.”
Advertising this kind of community has also gotten worse recently, she says, thanks to increasing online censorship in the wake of FOSTA-SESTA, a pair of bills passed in 2018 that purported to target sex trafficking. Social media sites like Facebook have become notoriously prudish about nudity and sexuality.
“Many of our online gathering places have bee
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