Sex Part

⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻

Sex Part
By Zachary Zane Published: Oct 6, 2020
This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below
"Nothing I can say will prepare you properly for it," were the exact words I was told before heading to my first sex party at the ripe young age of 24. While I did feel woefully underprepared at my first official group sex event, that's not because sex parties are mysterious and ineffable. They can indeed be described, and they should be for newbies looking to get into the scene.
The thing is, each sex party is drastically different, and therein lies the problem. I've been to parties where before getting down to business, all the guests sit in a circle, say their names, sexual orientations, pronouns, and what they're hoping to do sexually that evening, even specifying with whom. These parties are typically for people of all genders, and there's an emphasis on consent and creating a warm, welcoming space. They have moderators you can talk to if you feel unsafe or if someone is harassing you. If someone is being a creep, they get kicked out. Period.
Then I've been to sex parties where asking to touch is actually frowned upon, since it "takes people out of the moment." These parties are typically cruisier, black-lit, gay sex parties. I even went to a party at a club in Amsterdam where all the bottoms (receptive anal sex partners) agreed to bend over and be blindfolded. The whole "schtick" of the event was that these men could not see who they were having sex with.
Depending on your sexual interests, this either sounds incredibly hot or downright terrifying.
Obviously, the two sex parties I described above are very different. Being bi, I like to attend numerous sex events that fall on both ends of the spectrum (and everywhere in between). I like the chill, let's get to know everyone first type of sex party, but I also like that bend me over the desk, I don't know who you are, please God take me, Daddy type of sex party.
Recognizing the diversity of the sex party options out there, here's what you should know before attending a sex party, according to a guy who's both hosted and attended more than 100 parties.
If it’s your first time ever attending a sex party, you probably don’t want to go to a party where everyone starts fucking the moment they step through the doors. It might help you ease into things by attending a more social party, so you can talk to folks and get to know them before undressing. Many sex clubs have events such as performances or sexy games before all the actual sex starts.
To find one of those nights, simply Google “sex clubs [in your city].” From there, you’ll likely find a list of sex clubs. Go to each club’s site, see what the deal with membership is, and then head to their events page to see a list of their upcoming parties.
If this is an official play party, there will be clear rules about what you should wear, how you should behave, how to specifically ask for (enthusiastic) consent, and what happens if you violate those rules. ( Spoiler : You'll be kicked out and never be allowed to return, so don't be a jackass and respect people's boundaries.) Familiarize yourself with the rules before attending, so nothing catches you off-guard.
Note: you won’t find a sex party that allows you to take pictures of the folks inside without their consent. Most sex clubs ban photography altogether. If you meet someone and for whatever reason, just need to take a photo with them, go to the bathroom and take a selfie, just the two of you.
A number of mixed-gender play parties won't let single men attend by themselves. You need to have a sexual partner with you. Even if they don't mandate having someone, I highly recommend you attend with a partner. That person can be someone you're sleeping with or simply a friend. It can feel a bit awkward walking around by yourself at these parties, and some folks may unwittingly judge you—assuming you're a creep—if you're out on the prowl by yourself.
Also, sex is not guaranteed at these parties at all. By going with someone you're sexual with, there's a lot better chance you'll get laid, both by your partner but also by others. Most folks at these parties are coupled up and are looking for another pair to swing with . They're not (often) looking for the rogue stallion.
If you want to go to a party and are open to any and everything on your first night there, good for you. To be honest, I was somewhat like that, but I know this isn’t the case for everyone. Some folks don’t feel comfortable having sex their first time. Whatever your decision is, that’s fine, but make it prior to attending. You can easily get “swept up” in the moment, and you may end up doing something that you later regret. This is also why it’s great to have a buddy. You can hold one another accountable.
(I once attended a sex party with a friend of mine who drinks alcohol when she feels uncomfortable in social situations. Alas, she finds she gets sloppy and makes bad sexual decisions when she’s drunk. She made me promise to stop her if she was drinking. So when I saw her taking a shot of tequila, I promptly ran up to her, said “Nope,” and pulled her away from the bar. She thanked me.)
If you’re hitting up a party with an existing sexual partner, then you need to have a conversation about what you’re allowed to do sexually. Are you two allowed to have sex with other people, or only as a unit? Or would you rather not have sex at all, and just take in the scene? There are no wrong answers; it’s simply whatever agreement you and your partner make. Once at the venue, you should stick to whatever you agree to.
If, by chance, an opportunity does come up and you both feel comfortable, you can re-negotiate with your partner at the party. You can tell your partner, “Hey, so now that we’re here, I’m feeling good and would be down to make out with this couple. Would you want to?” Of course, don’t be pushy, and if your partner isn’t interested, then you stick to your original agreement. But if your partner is game, you can switch it up.
Do you know who’s no fun? The guy who goes to a sex party in a frumpy t-shirt and jeans. Whether it's a harness, a collar, or a goddamn jockstrap, wear something that makes you feel empowered and sexy. Additionally, most sex parties have a dress code. If they do, follow it.
You don't need any corny pickup lines at sex parties. (I mean, you really don't ever need pickup lines, but I'll save that for another piece.) You can go up to someone you're attracted to, introduce yourself with a smile, and ask how their night is going. It will become very clear if they're interested in talking to you or not. If they reply, "My night's going better now," or, "I was bored until you came along," it's a good sign they want to bang. If they respond with, "It's going fine," and are looking around the room for someone else, then simply reply, "Same here. Great to meet you," and walk the hell away.
Consent is required for all sexual activity—and yes, that includes at a party where the express purpose is having sex. When you go to a sex party, you need to get a verbal “yes” before engaging in any sexual behavior. Remember, you can ask for consent in sexy ways: “God, I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?”
On the topic of consent, don’t automatically touch or join folks who are mid-coitus. And don't be a weird lurker. I had a guy get really close to me while I was having sex one time. He stood a foot away from me, making aggressive eye contact. It was highly uncomfortable, even though he didn’t touch me or say anything. I would call this a violation of personal space. Like dude, back off.
If you’re interested in joining another couple, just think: Do I know these people? Have I spoken to them? If you haven’t said a word to the couple the entire night, then don’t go up and stop their sexual experience by asking to join them. Watch from afar—like, at least 6 feet away. If they see you and want you to join (which s highly unlikely), they’ll wave you over.
There may be folks who want to have sex with you, and you might not be interested. Totally fine! In my opinion, there’s no easier place to reject someone than at a sex party. You can always say, “I’m not looking to play right now,” or “I just want to have sex with my partner tonight,” or “There’s someone, in particular, I’m hoping to play with tonight.” After rejecting them, just walk away. You can say, “I’m going to find my friend.” If a person begins to harass or follow you, speak to someone working the event. They will help you.
I know it’s tempting to want to drink heavily when you’re nervous and don’t know people, but seriously, lay off the booze. You need to have your wits and be able to consent. You also need to be mindful of other people consenting (or not), which is challenging to do when drunk. Oh, and if someone is drunk, don’t hook up with them, even if they’re the one initiating. They’re not in a place where they’re able to give consent.
I've noticed more and more that play parties hire hosts, rope bondage experts, dominatrices, and other types of performers to do something sexual for the attendees. Watch someone get tied up and flogged. Try sexual electrostimulation if they have it. Or at least watch other couples getting it on.
Nine times out of 10 there will be condoms and lube at the party. However, they're often those free condoms that clinics give out that are thicker than plastic bags. Bring your own high-quality, thinner condoms . It's also wise to bring your favorite type of lube as well. You'll thank me later.
Alright, while you're in some intimate dark room at the back, I wouldn't recommend letting out a loud and hearty roar, but in most spaces at sex parties, it's 100% okay to laugh. Sex is fun. Being at a sex party is fun. Sometimes hilarious things happen during sex. Laughing is the only appropriate response when this is the case! Just don't laugh at others especially as they're doing it.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
Jewelry Made From Semen Are the Hottest New Trend
Sex Expert Discusses The Weird History of Doing It
How Your Myers-Briggs Type Impacts Your Love Life
What Happens When You Get a Vasectomy
The 14 Best Dating and Hook-Up Apps for Swingers
These Olive Garden Engagement Photos Are Stunning
Blake Shares Thirst Trap Bikini Photo and Tags Rya
I Keep Dating Guys Who Cheat on Me With Men
12 Satisfying Non-Penetrative Sex Positions
23 Oral Sex Toys Better Than Real Head
House of the Dragon's Sex Scene Is Very Revealing
Is a 'Monogamish' Relationship for You?
Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. We may earn a commission through links on our site.
©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Last weekend, I attended my first sex party—and I think these orgy people are onto something.
Photographed by Mark Peckmezian | Styled by Jessica dos Remedios
Photo: Courtesy of Karley Sciortino
Jennifer Lopez Confirms Milky Nails Are the New French Manicure
Serena Williams Says Farewell to Tennis On Her Own Terms—and in Her Own Words
Kate Moss Opens Up About Her New Wellness Brand and the Concept of Compassionate Self-Care
Jennifer Lopez Confirms Milky Nails Are the New French Manicure
Serena Williams Says Farewell to Tennis On Her Own Terms—and in Her Own Words
Kate Moss Opens Up About Her New Wellness Brand and the Concept of Compassionate Self-Care
Jennifer Lopez Confirms Milky Nails Are the New French Manicure
Serena Williams Says Farewell to Tennis On Her Own Terms—and in Her Own Words
Kate Moss Opens Up About Her New Wellness Brand and the Concept of Compassionate Self-Care
All the essentials: top fashion stories, editor’s picks, and celebrity style.
The latest fashion news, beauty coverage, celebrity style, fashion week updates, culture reviews, and videos on Vogue.com.
To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
To revist this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories .
Last weekend, in the penthouse of an upscale, downtown hotel, I attended my first sex party. I went with a friend of mine—I’ll call her Anne—who’s been bugging me to come along to this particular event for months, on the grounds that I can’t call myself a true sex writer until I’ve been to an orgy. Fair enough, I thought.
“It’s the best sex party in New York, with the most fun, attractive crowd,” Anne assured me, adding that the attendees are a mix of swingers, “burners” (Burning Man–types), and fetish people. I was skeptical. How amazing could the participants of a paid orgy really be, even if it was invite-only? I also had serious reservations about whether I would actually be able to hook up amidst a crowd of “roughly 100 people.” But I trusted Anne, because she knows a lot about this stuff. See, Anne and her husband are in an open marriage: They’re happy, successful, attractive, deeply in love, and they also get to sleep with whomever they want. How unfair.
I’ve written previously about my own attempt to make an open relationship work. The year my girlfriend and I were open, our relationship was strained by arguments and insecurity, and our subsequent attempt at monogamy didn’t work out either. Sadly, two weeks ago, she and I broke up. And I have since finally admitted it to myself: monogamy just isn’t for me. Or at least not right now. The problem is, I’m still in the dark about how to make a nonmonogamous relationship function. It just feels like there’s so much working against you—jealousy, possession, unwilling partners, and a weighty social stigma. My hope was that spending time with Anne and her husband, as well as a room full of orgiastic swingers, would give me some insight into how I could have my relationship cake and eat it too.
According to Anne, a 32-year-old nurse, being nonmonogamous wasn't a desire but a necessity. "In my late teens and early twenties I had two long-term relationships, one with a man and one with a woman,” she explained. “In both cases they were older than me, and both tried to convince me that when you really love someone, you don’t want to be with other people. I thought that because they were older, they knew better. So I tried it, but both times I failed miserably—it was stressful, I cheated so much, and I hurt my partners.” During that time Anne realized that, in fact, her desire to get laid by other people didn’t mean she loved her partners any less. “Restricting myself doesn’t make me happy,” she went on, “so after the second relationship ended, I said, ‘This is stupid, I’m never promising monogamy to anyone ever again.’”
That decision has worked out well for her, because she ended up meeting her perfect match. “My husband and I met through a couple that we were both sleeping with separately,” she said. “And there was never any expectation of monogamy.” She describes their marriage as being “very open,” but there are still ground rules. "Initially we had a zip-code rule,” she explained. “When we were in the same city, we could hook up with other people together—threesomes, sex parties, etcetera—and when he traveled for work, we could play separately." However, as their relationship became stronger, their boundaries loosened, and now they can hook up whenever, as long as their extracurricular sex remains casual. “You have to challenge yourself,” Anne said. “If something doesn’t feel comfortable, you ask yourself why that is, and try to understand if and why your jealousy is irrational.”
But back to the sex party. Clearly, my biggest dilemma was what to wear: A cocktail dress? A gown? Lingerie under a trench coat? After much deliberation, I finally decided on a candy-pink-and-white eighties Escada power suit and white stilettos, figuring that, if ever there were a time to look like a horny version of the First Lady, this was it.
Walking into the hotel, I was slightly intimidated by how many beautiful, well-dressed people there were. (Anne was right.) For the first two hours, people mostly danced, drank the free booze, and ate canapes. Many of the guests were clearly already friends or “playmates,” and the atmosphere was surprisingly classy, even reserved. It wasn’t until midnight that the suits and cocktail dresses began to come off. Suddenly the many beds, couches, and bathtubs were filled with people going at it.
Popular depictions of swingers are usually sensational or retro, but the crowd at the party seemed like normal, nice people who were no different from me, which was encouraging. I instantly noticed how respectful everyone was. Before engaging with another person, it was customary to ask, “Can I touch you?” The couples were very frank about the advantages of “the lifestyle,” as it’s called. One said that listening to each other’s hook-up stories was their ultimate turn on. Another couple, when asked about the virtues of being open, said that it prevents them from getting lazy or taking each other for granted—the slight competition keeps them engaged and motivates them to win each other’s affection every day.
Sex parties like this one, and discussions about alternatives to monogamy, have been getting increasing media coverage in recent years. Dan Savage, of course, is an active proponent of what he calls “monogamish”—opening the door of your relationship just a crack, to keep it from blowing off its hinges, as he puts it. The Ethical Slut, which is probably the quintessential book on nonmonogamy, has been selling consistently since its publication in 1997. And then there’s Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and **Cacilda Jethá’**s 2010 bestseller, which argues that monogamy goes against human nature. The book’s enormous popularity spawned countless articles and debates about whether monogamy is in fact a social construct, and one that goes against our biology.
But what do the alternatives look like in practice? To get a more detailed idea of how people manage nonmonogamy successfully, I’d spoken with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova , a researcher and adjunct professor of human sexuality at NYU. Vrangalova had explained that nonmonogamous relationships generally fall into one of three main categories: swinging, polyamory, and open relationships. Swingers are the most couple-centric of the three—these are lovers in a committed relationship who have strictly casual sex with other people, which they typically engage in together, at a swingers’ party or some other “lifestyle” event. Open relationships are similar in that a committed couple can have casual hook-ups, but their extracurricular sex tends to happen independently. These couples will usually create specific boundaries based on their personal comfort levels—for instance, a “no sleepovers” rule, or an “area-code” rule. Finally, polyamorous refers to people who have multiple simultaneous relationships that are not just sexual, but emotional and romantic as well. For instance, one could have a primary partner and a secondary partner, or three or four people could all be romantically linked together, known as a triad or a quad, respectively.
In other words, it’s pretty complicated, and making it work requires serious effort. And from what I gathered at the sex party, this is very much the case. I was repeatedly struck, not just by their respectful demeanor, but also by how thoroughly—almost tediously—the partners communicated. Because trust is key, peo
Porno Video Hotel
Nekopara Vol 2 Sex Scenes
Japanese Women Pussy Picture