Sex On Up Men In Women

Sex On Up Men In Women
by Gigi Engle and Zachary Zane Published: Jul 5, 2022
Gigi Engle is a writer, certified sexologist, sex coach, and sex educator. Her work regularly appears in many publications including Brides, Marie Claire, Elle Magazine, Teen Vogue, Glamour and Women's Health.
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Cowgirl's about to get even hotter. 😎
It’s no secret that cowgirl (or cowboy, or cowperson, or partner-on-top) is one of guys' all-time favorite sex positions , and it’s not just because it provides a spectacular view from below. When your partner is on top, they can take full control of the rhythm and speed of sex, allowing them to maximize their pleasure while you get to go along for the (literal) ride.
If your partner has a vulva, there’s a higher chance of orgasm when they're on top due to the direct contact between their external clitoris and your body—all that grinding can make a big difference. If friction doesn't get them off, cowgirl also frees up their hands to hold a vibrator on their clit as they ride you.
Now, just because you’re on the bottom, it doesn’t mean you can play the dead fish. Half of good sex is enthusiasm and participation. Assuming your partner is into you getting in on the action, you can try thrusting from the bottom (a.k.a. "topping from the bottom"), stimulation their external clitoris with a hand or toy, caressing their breasts , or even engaging in some hot making-out, depending on your positioning.
Another cowgirl tip: Remember, it's not all about the rider moving up and down. Honestly, that causes a lot of thigh burn. For maximum pleasure, have your partner try sliding back and forth in this position. Trust us, you’ll thank us later when they’re hella enthusiastic about being on top more often.
That's not the only adjustment that can make this position even more enjoyable for all parties involved. Variations on cowgirl help to keep sex interesting, hot, and explorative. This isn’t as complex as it sounds. Slight tweaks on the classic position can be enough to up the pleasure you get from this position in a big way. If you’re looking to get your cowgirl on, here are some simple and fun ways to change it up.
How it works: You lie on your back. Your partner straddles you, sitting on you like a horse. Their knees and shins are pressed to the bed.
Why it’s good: Your partner gets to take control. They can also tilt back or forward, controlling the depth of penetration and potential G-spot stimulation.
How it works: It’s similar to cowgirl, only instead of your partner straddling you, they have their soles planted on the bed in a squatting position.
Why it’s good: With this position, you can grab your partner by the butt and thrust deep. So even though they're on top, you’re in control of the speed and motion. You also get a lot of leverage in this position, which makes it both visually appealing and less of a thigh burnt than a classic reverse cowgirl position.
Squatting cowgirl is also optimal for bringing in toys. We’d suggest bringing in a bigger toy with a long handle (like a Magic Wand) so the receiver can rest their elbows on their knees while still stimulating their clitoris.
How it works: This one's just like the classic cowgirl, however, instead of your partner facing you, they're facing away from you.
Why it’s good: It’s all booty, right in your face.
How it works: Start in reverse cowgirl and then have your partner lean all the way back, so their back is against your chest and their forearms are resting on your sides.
Why it’s good: While thrusting, you can also cup your partner's breasts and play with their clitoris. If you do this position right, you can hit multiple erogenous zones. (Note: your partner will need loose quads in order to pull this position off.)
How it works: The receiver starts in a classic cowgirl position. Then, they swing one leg at a time around so that both are straight out behind them, on either side of the penetrating partner’s outstretched legs. The receiver will essentially be completely flush with their partner’s body, while their partner's penis or dildo is still inside of their vagina. This position can take a bit of maneuvering, so take your time swinging your legs around and next to your body. If it doesn't work the first time, you can always try again.
Why it’s good: This position allows for a very unique sort of shallow penetration. In most instances, the penis or dildos won’t be able to penetrate more than a few inches. It can feel really intense and quite unique compared to other forms of stimulation. When sliding up and down their partner’s body, the receiver gets a lot of direct contact to their clitoris.
How it works: The crab is similar to squatting cowgirl, only your partner leans back and supports their weight on their arms.
Why it’s good: This position can really allow for deep penetration, but it can also be tough, physically. Start slow to see if it works for you two. If it doesn’t, switch back to squatting cowgirl.
How it works: It's like missionary, but with you on your back. Your legs should be kept together, and your partner's legs should be straddling your sides. The easiest way to get into this position is to start in classic cowgirl and then have your partner lean forward.
Why it’s good: It’s a very intimate position that allows for kissing.
How it works: To get into the lotus position, you need to sit down with your legs crossed and pulled in close to your body. Your partner should then sit on top of you, facing you. Then they can either wrap their legs around you or place them by your sides. You should hold onto their back to help support them and to keep your bodies close together.
Why it’s good: This position doesn’t allow for much thrusting, but it's another intimate pose that allows for hugging, kissing, caressing, and heavy eye contact.
How it works: This one looks more complicated than it actually is. Lie on your back with one of your your knees bent. The soul of your foot should be on the bed. Have her straddle the bent knee while facing away from you. From there, she can insert your penis inside of her and start grinding.
Why it’s good: This position, to be honest, is more for her than it is for you. There isn’t too much thrusting, but she can get organic clitorial stimulation by rubbing herself up against your leg, while bouncing up and down on you.
How it works: It’s like reverse cowgirl, only your partner is riding your face.
Why it’s good : In my humble opinion, this is the hottest position for oral sex if your partner has a vulva. It's also great if your partner likes to be dominant in the bedroom.
How it works: It’s basically the reverse cowgirl of face sitting.
Why it’s good: This position is great for analingus, if you and your partner are into it. Also, if you’re an ass man, your partner's booty will literally be inches away from your face.
How it works: While sitting in a chair, have your partner straddle you, face to face.
Why it’s good: This position allows for thrusting and grinding, and it's great if your partner's legs aren't always up for squatting or deep straddling. It’s also an intimate position that lends itself well to kissing and eye contact.
How it works: Sit on the bed with your hands stretched behind your back to support yourself. Your legs should be stretched out in front of your body. Have your partner lie on their back, in front of your crotch. Then raise their legs over your shoulders. From there, your partner can scooch closer, and you can start penetration.
Why it’s good: First off, it’s not as hard as it may look, but you'll feel like a sex pro. Just take your time getting into the position. It’s good because you can grab your partner by her thighs and really thrust yourself into them, allowing for super-deep penetration.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS , at Civilized .
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Generations ago, oral sex was considered taboo. Now it's a pretty mainstream type of sexual activity for all kinds of couples. How common is it? One 2020 survey found that on average, people perform oral sex 5.3 times each month, and they receive oral sex 5.2 times per month. Oral sex has benefits that go beyond physical pleasure: Research from 2018 suggests that couples who engaged in oral sex were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship than those who did not.

Still, not everyone understands the full range of what oral sex is, how it's done, and the variety of positions that can make it more exciting and novel. Here's everything you need to know.

Basically, oral sex is when you stimulate your partner's genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue, or they stimulate your genitals using these body parts. This might involve fellatio (sucking or licking the penis), cunnilingus (sucking or licking the vagina, vulva, or clitoris, or anilingus (sucking or licking the anus).

Oral sex is often thought of as foreplay, meaning it happens before penetration with a penis or sex toy. It might also occur after intercourse, or it could replace intercourse entirely. Everyone has their own preferences, and there are no rules, provided both parties consent to the activity.

Just because oral sex doesn't lead to pregnancy doesn't mean it's not sex. Like other kinds of sex, oral sex can feel super pleasurable; a Canadian study found that 69% of women described being on the receiving end as "very pleasurable." Oral sex can keep couples feeling emotionally connected, and it can result in an orgasm (or multiple orgasms). It's not a lesser form of sex just because it's not penis-in-vagina sex. Some couples exclusively have oral sex, while others do it only occasionally or never. It's all up to your own personal preference.

While oral sex can offer deep physical and emotional pleasure, it also has one of the same dangers as intercourse. Oral sex can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs) , including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and HPV. "Many people are surprised to learn how dangerous it can be to have oral sex when it comes to STIs," Sherry A. Ross, MD , ob-gyn and women's health expert in Santa Monica, California, and author of she-ology and she-ology. the she-quel , tells Health .

Whether you're the giver or receiver of oral sex, you can contract and/or spread STIs. An HPV infection of the throat can even lead to throat cancer, the same way HPV can lead to cervical cancer. To protect yourself, make sure you and your partner are STI-tested; if you're not sure about your partner's status, experts advise using condoms or a dental dam, which is a thin piece of latex that covers the vulva.

There's no one way to have oral sex, but a good place to start is by asking your partner for their consent to kiss, lick, nibble, or stroke their genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue. If you get the go-ahead, start slowly and experiment with different moves, such as soft kisses or firmer tongue swirls.

Pay attention to their response. If your partner is becoming more aroused and doesn't ask you to stop, keep going. If you get the sense that a move you're doing isn't having the desired effect, switch it up and try something else. As long as it feels good to give and receive, you're doing it right.

Great sex is all about communication, and that goes for oral sex as well. So don't hesitate to ask your partner what they like and what you can do to make them feel good. "This is especially helpful with a new partner," SKYN sex and intimacy expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author Gigi Engle tells Health . "Something that worked with one woman may not work with another. The vulva is as unique as a snowflake and no two are the same." The same goes for the penis.

What exactly should you ask? Here are a few questions to throw out: Does she like internal stimulation while she receives oral sex? Does she enjoy having her labia licked? Is her vaginal opening particularly sensitive? "Being able to communicate with your partner is extremely hot," Engle says. "She'll appreciate that you care enough to find out what brings her pleasure." This tip works for sexual partners of all genders, of course.

There are as many positions for oral sex as there are for intercourse (more on these later). But often the most comfortable way to do it is for the receiver to lie back with their legs open either a little bit or all the way, and for the giver to sit or stretch out over them.

Propping a pillow or two under your partner's hips can give you better access to their genitals, though not everyone enjoys this because it makes them feel more exposed. Oral sex can also be performed from behind, with the receiver in the doggie-style position. Another popular oral sex style is 69: when both partners lie down so their bodies form a 69 shape and they can give and receive oral sex simultaneously.

"Let's be honest, the taste of a penis is not exactly like chocolate cake," says Engle. If you're not into your partner's taste or want to taste something more fun, flavored lube is the way to go. "Adding a little tasty lubricant changes the whole game," she says.

Problem is, that a lot of flavored lubes are too sweet, too minty, or taste too much like cough syrup. So experiment with different flavors to find one you like. However, it's important to remember that flavored lube is not necessarily good for vaginas, since many are made with artificial ingredients and sugar. This means if you use it on a penis, be sure to rinse it off thoroughly before having penetrative sex.

Testicles can be very sexually sensitive, so to get them in on the oral action, a vibrator is your best sex accessory. "Sex toys aren't just for clit stimulation," Engle explains. Grab a vibrator and hold it in your hand to massage the balls. You can also press a vibe into the perineum, the patch of skin between the balls and anus or anus and vagina, which is a nerve-rich pleasure center. "Sex toys up the sense of eroticism during oral sex; it can be extremely intense—in a good way," she adds. Just make sure to ask your partner if they like what you're doing.

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 37% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Another 36% said that clitoral stimulation isn't necessary to have an orgasm, but it makes the experience better.

Still, for many women, direct clitoral stimulation can be too intense, especially at the onset of oral sex. Engle suggests touching it through the clitoral hood; another idea is to perform oral sex with a thin piece of fabric, like underwear , between your tongue and your partner's body. "This will provide just the right amount of pleasure without causing discomfort," she says. Another trick is to blow gently on her clitoris before making contact with your tongue, which can increase arousal.

If your female partner enjoys internal stimulation during oral sex, use your finger or a vibrator to play with her G-spot while kissing, licking, or sucking the vulva. How do you know when you've found the G-spot? Work your finger an inch or two inside the vagina along the front wall, and feel around for an area that can be slightly spongier than the rest of the vagina. "When stimulated, you're accessing the root of the clitoris, the back end that you can't see externally," says Engle.

Press around the area to offer pressure-based stimulation, or move your fingers in a grounded, circular motion. "Don't forget to pay attention," Engle says. "G-spot stimulation isn't every woman's cup of tea. Experimenting is great, but be willing to learn and hone your skills with each new partner."

Face-sitting is an oral sex position that has the receiver sitting on or straddling the giver's face. The close contact makes this a very intimate position, and it's not something everyone is comfortable with. But it allows for deeper access to your partner's vulva and vagina, and in heterosexual relationships, it's typically female dominant, putting the woman in control.

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Sex blogger Girl on the Net road tests every single one AND gets her partner's opinion.
Girl-on-top (also called 'Cowgirl', or 'The Rider') or woman-on-top sex positions can be a relatively easy and fun way to upgrade your sex life. Allowing you to expertly position your partner's penis or strap-on for the best stimulation or to hit juuuust the right spot, girl-on-top is actually one of the most popular sex positions out there. But what if we told you that it's actually a *variety* of sex position, one which can cover loads of different positions, and that there's no one, definitive way of doing it? That's piqued your interest, hasn't it! In order to dive into all the girl-on-top possibilities out there, we asked sexpert and blogger Girl on the Net to try out the best woman on top sex positions , so you don't have to. Here's what she found...
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