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Sex Moms Kids
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"It's unfathomable on so many levels. For one, that it actually happened. For two, where it happened. For three, how often something happened," the mother said in an exclusive interview with Eyewitness News.
The woman, who asked to be identified only as Jane Doe, said her 5-year-old daughter was caught by a teacher inside a bathroom at school giving oral sex to a 4-year-old boy.
"I said, 'Where did you see this? How did you know that this was something to do? 'She said, 'I saw another little girl do it.' I said, 'Well, where?' 'Here at school.' 'When?' 'During nap time,'" the mother recalled.
Jane said investigators found no evidence of child abuse at her home. She provided us documents from the County of Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services showing the case was closed as inconclusive.
The First Lutheran Church of Carson School was cited by the California Department of Social Services for a sexual incident between kids. Jane's daughter said it wasn't an isolated incident.
"The way that she explained it, it was kind of like it was an everyday thing...from pulling the pants down to exposing themselves to, you know, trying to get somebody to put their mouth on the privates," said Jane.
Eyewitness News first broke this story on Friday when Richard McCarthy told us exclusively that his son often received oral sex at the school.
"It went down in the classroom, it went down in the bathroom, and it went down out on the playground," said McCarthy.
After seeing that story, attorney Greg Owens said more people started asking to join his lawsuit against the school and the church, so he is no longer planning to file it Monday. He is going to wait.
The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department's Carson Station says the story is prompting it to ask questions of various state agencies to see if any crimes were committed.
The school itself is set to close on Friday. School officials still haven't gone on camera, but told me off camera that they believe there were only two incidents involving inappropriate touching among the kids.
They said the school is closing because the director is leaving for personal reasons and no teacher wants the job. They insist student sex has nothing to do with the closure.
"I think they definitely tried to cover up the incidents," said Jane.
Jane pulled her daughter out of the school in October. She said her daughter is in public school now and doing better. As for Jane, the reality is still tough.
"As a mother, I tend to blame myself, thinking what if I had just asked the question, what if I could have found out somehow that this is going on," she said.
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Mum Jamie Beth Cohen decided there needed to be clear rules around 'grown-up alone time' during COVID quarantine with the kids.
Pip Christmass / Parenting / Updated 05.01.2021
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A couple in the US decided to let their children know in advance when they were going to be having sex.
The decision came about during COVID quarantine when the whole family was self-isolating at home.
Penning a piece for The Huffington Post , writer and mum Jamie Beth Cohen discussed the pros and cons of making the decision - and whether or not it was the right idea.
For more Parenting related news and videos check out Parenting >>
Kids are notoriously squeamish when it comes to being confronted with the thought that their parents might still like to, you know, snuggle.
So why on earth would any parent decide to do this?
“Prior to the pandemic, I preferred to have sex with my husband when the kids were out of the house,” Cohen explained.
“That’s not to say that’s the only time we had sex, but it was the only time I could relax enough to truly enjoy it.”
Cohen said she lived in fear of the kids walking in on her and her husband while they were in the middle of having sex.
While her husband wasn’t quite so bothered by the prospect, he understood her worries.
“I have no traumatic memories of walking in on my own parents, unless I’ve buried them so deeply I can’t remember them,” Cohen wrote.
“And my husband and I have a door that locks, something my parents never had.”
“We are privileged to have this family time and privileged to enjoy it,” she said of COVID quarantine.
“But our small townhouse doesn’t allow for a lot of ‘grown-up alone time’.”
A few months into quarantine, Cohen and her husband decided they were going to let their children know when they were going to have sex.
It meant they wouldn’t have to worry about the unexpected knock at the door or feel guilty about “doing it on the sly.”
They told the kids that if the bedroom door was closed and the hallway fan was on, then “please leave us alone, we’re having sex.”
“They giggled. They squirmed. And then they left us alone,” Cohen said.
Cohen said she wanted to raise her children in a “sex-positive” household, meaning they would grow up without shame, fear or secrecy around the subject of sex.
If the children wanted to ask questions about sex, the Cohens decided, they would answer openly and honestly.
" ‘They giggled. They squirmed. And then they left us alone.’ "
“Will some parents disagree with our choices?” she wrote.
“Definitely. Is our approach the right approach for other families? Possibly.
“Is it the right one for our family? I hope so, because I truly believe being open and honest with our kids has been beneficial to us as parents.”
Cohen said she hoped that when her children look back on “the mess” of 2020, they will remember a couple of important things.
“(I hope) they will approach the idea of sex (and, when they start having it, the act of sex), with less shame and secrecy than I did, and they will value how much their parents cared about each other,” Cohen wrote.
“That they still needed time alone. To connect. To have sex. And to watch TV shows naked.”
Now Reading Read This Mom's Hilarious Tale Of Interrupted Sex
Being a parent to young children can often make it difficult to have some alone time with your partner — just ask blogger Emma Lou Harris . On Wednesday, Harris shared a hilarious account of a time she and her husband had put the kids to bed and were ready to have a little uninterrupted intimacy.
After her husband had emptied the dishwasher without being asked, Harris said, they were ready to "hop on straight down to sexy town."
Just as things were getting hot and heavy, however, Harris suddenly heard something that made her "panic sweat glands jump into emergency mode busting open like a military operation."
"There was nails digging and hair pulling and and headboards knocking and we were JUST about to be reminded whyyyyyyyyy the HELL I ever put up with this bollox leaving his crap all over the house when suddenly, 'Mammmmmmmmy??????????'" she wrote.
Upon hearing her daughter come into the room, Harris wrote, "my vagina zips itself up to my back immediately before I've even had a chance to turn my head."
"I look up to see a moving smudge of colour in a 'my little pony' night gown rubbing its eyes and whinging," she wrote. "I pray to the baby Jesus that we have a poltergeist and I also pray it's legally blind."
Her husband, meanwhile, wasn't faring much better.
"I watched him, almost in slow motion fly through the air in panic, the anaconda swerving all over the place threatening to strangle me to death in the act," she wrote. "Seriously, the thing nearly slapped me in the face and blackened the eyes off me on it's jump up there."
Their daughter, it turns out, just wanted some help looking for her soother.
Though Harris said that she isn't quite sure how much her daughter saw that night, "All I know is, if in the future, My poor poor innocent child ever comes to me and tells me she remembers a very vivid dream where two large warthogs were trying to give each other a hoosh over a wall or that two friggin tapers where playing an aggressive game of twister, well, I guess I'll have my answer."
"Myself and Joe are due to finish our Trauma Counselling sometime in the year 2045."
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Raising Kids
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Parenting Teenagers
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Teens date. Sometimes whether you're ready for it or not. And if you're not, what comes next can be downright terrifying: Kissing. Hugging. Holding hands. More revealing clothing.
The signs your child may be having sex are not hard to spot. But knowing how to handle the situation is anything but easy. If you're afraid your teen is having sex, here's my advice: You cannot leave this situation to chance.
It's best to bring up the issue of premature and premarital sex , and voice your concerns. Talk of your hopes and dreams for your child's future. Explain that physical and emotional issues related to sex—and this includes the possibility of a baby—could alter future plans. If you're reluctant to bring up the topic, find someone who will. This person could be a family friend, counselor, or trusted relative.
To forbid your child to have sex or deny them contraception is naive. To think that you can watch your child and their romantic partner at all times is unrealistic. Teens are very skilled in finding a way to satisfy their sexual urges. Telling a sexually interested or active teenager to not engage in sexual activity is like shoveling sand against the adolescent tide. Once a child goes through puberty, their body is equipped to procreate, and it's difficult to reverse their interest in sex once puberty takes hold.
Besides being risky physically (because of sexually transmitted diseases and the concern of pregnancy), an intimate sexual relationship is often beyond the emotional wherewithal of most teens. Most teens don't consider this when they are out to satisfy their sexual drive. You must also prepare and protect your teenager from the burden of the emotions related to a sexual relationship.
Today the attitude of many parents of teens is a "don't ask, don't tell" approach. If parents don't see signs, then it's out of the parent's mind. Such an approach is irresponsible. Every parent needs to address sexuality issues with his or her teen. And if you are seeing signs, there is no way you can let the situation alone.
Despite the need to open up a dialogue with your child about their clothes and public displays of affection, it's important to let them know that you love them no matter what. It's not easy, particularly because your child might scoff or blow up at you. Bear up nevertheless. Proceed with love and determination to make your points regardless of how you fear your child will respond.
When it comes to talking to kids about sex, parents simply can't provide too many resources. And since teens today are famously Web-savvy , sharing these sexual health Web sites with them is a nonthreatening way to let them safely explore sex stats and articles on their own.
But why should teens read about sex topics by themselves? "With the media portraying sexuality more and more, with teens at younger ages having sex, and with all of the sexual 'trends' being explored, teens need viable information," says Susan Falcone, National Board Certified teacher and Family Studies department chair at Loch Raven High School in Baltimore, Maryland.
Falcone says that the "garden of misinformation" (i.e., "I heard that that...") is still the only source for many teens.
"I've been teaching sex education for 37 years and I have seen only a modicum of progress in their knowledge, while their experiences have widened well beyond their parents'. They are still embarrassed to talk about sex with their parents and parents are still embarrassed to approach the topic with their teens," Falcone says. "More and more, schools are being restricted as to what is deemed 'appropriate' to discuss in sex education classes."
Many of the following sites are sex-positive — they don't promote abstinence as the only option for teens, but rather discuss how to make responsible choices regarding sex. Visit these sites as a parent, approve the content, then share them with your child:
The teen outreach site of Planned Parenthood Federation of America offers diagrams, Q&As, and articles about sex, pregnancy, relationships, and what happens to teen bodies. The voice of the site is that of a wise teen friend, making it approachable for the middle- and high-school set.
Reproductive health professionals answer girls' questions in live chat rooms during scheduled appearances.
An interactive, easy-to-understand animated movie about the menstrual cycle with links to articles on what to do about missed periods, surviving menstrual discomfort, and more.
I Wanna Know is the teen division of the American Social Health Association, a nongovernmental-funded group that works across the country to distribute information about sexually transmitted diseases. Bulleted information gives teens a quick look at specific sexual health considerations and STDs.
A listing of questions to ask tattoo artists or body piercers to ensure an STD-free experience.
A specific area concerning emotional changes during puberty and infrequently discussed topic!
Sex has consequences — that's the message of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy , a nonprofit organization. The group aims to "improve the well-being of children, youth, and families by reducing teen pregnancy" by using in- and after-school programs to delay teens' first sexual experiences. The site has separate areas for parents, professionals, and even religious leaders, covering a wide base of adults who influence tweens and teens.
Searchable city and county birth data help parents see what role teen pregnancy plays in their communities.
Downloadable audio and video clips of TV shows, public service announcements, and mini-movies with safe-sex and abstinence-related topics.
Written in accessible language for teen readers, GirlsHealth is sponsored by the National Women's Health Information Center of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health. Teens can safely click around the "Body" and "Relationships" sections to read about their physical development, first periods, first sexual relationships, and STDs.
A specific area that discusses how parents can broach the topic of puberty and sex with their teens.
The "Free Stuff!" area lets girls download girl-positive Instant Messenger icons, computer desktop wallpaper, and calendars.
It's Your Sex Life is an offshoot of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, a nonprofit group dedicated to educating the public about major healthcare issues that face our country. It's Your Sex Life calls itself "Your Guide to Safe & Responsible Sex," and offers teens articles and fact sheets on pregnancy and contraception, HIV and STDs, and communicating effectively with
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