Sex Massage Penis

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Sex Massage Penis
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Let’s get something straight…
If you can read these words, then it’s a fact that you are a member of one of the most abundantly sexual species on the planet.
Human beings have sex for a whole host of reasons… for love, for lust, for validation, for excitement… because they’re bored, because their Netflix...

Ejaculating isn't bad. Engaging in regular self-pleasure isn't bad. At all.
Anyone who has read my writing long enough will know that I’m a shout-from-the-mountaintops kind of champion for engaging in a regular self-pleasure practice.
But.
Particularly for men, there are healthy and unhealthy limits....

At the time of my writing this, my 29th birthday is a few days away.
29 laps around the sun... and I feel like I have experienced a fairly densely packed ride so far.
I've struggled, I've conquered, I've travelled, I've felt, and I've loved.
The following collection of words flowed through me in one...

It’s time that we started a revolution in how we think about sex.
Frustrated men, women, and lovers world wide are standing up and saying ENOUGH already with this two-dimensional sex.
Here’s the problem…
Most men think of sex as a linear act. I could be all politically correct and say most people,...

I’ve never been a heavy drinker.
Even in what many people consider to be the prime drinking years of 19-25, I rarely got drunk.
From 19 onwards, I probably got drunk an average of five times per year, and more recently, I would maybe have an average of 3-5 drinks per month.
But something still didn’t...

Last week, my buddy Steve and I went on a road trip to have a doctor shoot sound waves into our penises in order to supercharge our boners.

You know... just some casual male bonding.



When the people at GAINSWave reached out to me and asked if I wanted to try out their new penis-boosting technology,...
A penis massage (aka “lingham” massage, in tantric lingo) is a structured process with emotional and physical techniques designed to deliver a deeply healing and pleasurable experience.
Just like a regular massage in a spa, penis massage is a form of therapy. But the benefits are far more profound than physical pleasure and relaxing muscles.
When done properly, with intention and the right perspective, penis massage can become a transcendental psychological and spiritual healing ceremony.
If you’re not familiar with tantra , or sexual therapy, I realize that that all might sound a little over the top. But if it does, I’m glad. Because that means – if you truly follow through with this – you’re about to have your mind(s) blown open to a whole new dimension of sex and intimacy.
The ritual of a penis massage is meant to bring healing, pleasure, and connection for both the giver and receiver – within themselves and between each other.
The point is not ejaculation and orgasm. In fact, it doesn’t even matter if the man has an erection (though he will almost every time.)
The average assumption of what this will look like is basically a kind of slow-motion hand-job, where someone strokes, rubs, and touches their partner’s cock slowly and sensually. On a strictly visual level, and according to our Western sexual conditioning, that’s how part of this process this might appear.
But that’s a key reason why tantric traditions gave different names to the genitals: so that our brains could begin to create a more sacred and meaningful relationship to them, and unlock a new level of mental, physical, and spiritual benefits in the sexual experience.
What really holds a penis massage together is feeling an element of the sacred. Sacredness is a feeling of intention, honour, the special, the mystical, and divine. This is something that’s completely missing in the common modern attitude toward the body, and especially toward sex.
This shows in everything from our pornography to the basic labels we use for sex and sex parts. It all carries a hollow, carnal tone; serving the egotistical purposes of gratification, ownership, submission and domination.
Yes, it’s totally okay and amazing to explore those sides of sex and fully express yourself. But if you exclusively stay on that level forever, you’re missing out on an insanely powerful part of the picture. A penis massage is a vehicle you can use to take your man to that far-too-seldom seen place.
To prime and create this element of the sacred, you’ll begin by honouring and connecting with each other before you even get to any physical touch (which we’ll cover in a moment.) But before you even start, there are some important things you (the giver) need to be mentally equipped with…
To deliver the maximum potential power that the forthcoming penis massage can have, it’s important to acknowledge that the mindset of the giver is the single most important part of the entire equation. It will set the tone of the entire session and heavily influence how deep the man’s experience goes.
It will inform the nuance of every touch, breath, and the subtle energetic messages he can’t fully perceive. Everything you do is communicating something.
You don’t have to believe in chakras and quantum theory, or hum while visualizing colourful swirls of light (though those things can be part of some forms of penis massage). The essential approach the giver should have can be summarized by three letters…
The sincere energy of tender, loving care is basically all you need to hold in your heart, mind, and body. Throughout the penis massage, you can even imagine yourself sending loving feelings and thoughts into his genitals. He will feel it through everything you do.
This is an extremely rare energy for a man to receive toward his penis, which is why it is so deeply healing. Very few men have ever received sacred, focused attention on this part of their body.
In his world, his cock, and his sexuality, are usually regarded with as much care as a fast-food takeout window (ultimately, just a means to a superficial end). Look no further than the euphemism “beat your meat” to understand how most guys relate with their genitals.
That’s because it’s how we’ve been conditioned to relate to them. But when someone enters the picture and approaches his genitals with TLC, it short-circuits his brain in the best possible way. The pattern is interrupted. Suddenly he’s in an energetic exchange and dynamic he’s probably never experienced before.
He is also relieved of all pressure and duty to perform, which is usually stitched into every moment of his sexual experience.
With this loving energy, penis massage can be highly therapeutic and powerfully healing – especially if he has any sexual trauma , or a history of abuse, or struggles with erectile dysfunction .
Because the essential message of the act and the intention is saying, “You are safe, you are loved, your penis and sexuality are sacred. I honour you.”
Another reason why it’s so therapeutic is because of how much the male identity is wrapped up in his cock. He is highly self-conscious about the penis itself and what it symbolizes, which is his manhood.
So, even the thought of receiving a penis massage can bring up fear and anxiety for him at first. He’s so used to being engaged and using it. It will be foreign for him to just receive.
It will challenge any issues he may have with shame and worthiness. But he has the opportunity to sit back and allow, and melt through it all. He has to let it go and surrender into a state of vulnerability, where he can feel accepted and loved.
Prepare for the possibility that he might have a spontaneous emotional release. Some women have been surprised to see their man, who rarely tends to cry , suddenly burst into tears. If he does, bring your hands back to the “home position” that I will explain in a moment.
Cuddle him and/or hold his heart for a few moments and ask if you can continue. Ideally, you will, which will help the healing process. But he may need a bit of a break.
This is all for you. Just let go and communicate.
There is nothing you have to do besides say what you like and when to slow down.
There is no pressure to achieve or maintain an erection.
There is no pressure to have an orgasm.
There is no pressure to make sure your partner is having a good time and/or isn’t bored.
It can be weird at first. But just watch your mind and continue to imagine yourself melting and sinking.
Let yourself go and relax into the experience. Stay in your body and focus on every little physical sensation. The temperature in the air. Each little stroke. The subtle ripples of pleasure up your abdomen and down your legs.
Don’t rush this. You don’t have to have an orgasm. In fact, it might be best if you don’t have one. Because our brains are so wired to link any touching of the penis with the gratification of ejaculation. Stopping short of that will keep the focus on the healing touch and receiving your partner’s loving attention.
That said, if you do cum, it will likely be incredible. But the main message is: climax is not the point of a penis massage.
Communicate. When something feels amazing – say so. When you’re getting really close to ejaculation – have your partner slow down and back off with the intensity of the stimulation.
Also, it’s perfectly normal for intense emotions to arise. Sadness is the most common. Do your best not to clamp down on these emotions when they start bubbling up. These are very old trapped pockets of emotion that have been waiting to be flushed out for years. The release of these emotions is all part of the penis massage’s therapeutic magic and shouldn’t be avoided. Allow yourself to emote, cry, or whatever might want to happen.
The rest you’ll just have to feel for yourself!
Before you begin the first stage of connecting, you’ll want to set up the space with care. Controlling the environment is a powerful way to build the deeper emotional tone you’re looking for.
A lot of people will even go as far as renting (or borrowing, if you can) a massage table to set up in their home for the night. It’s definitely not necessary, but it’s an amazing gesture that adds to the feeling of being honoured, as well as the overall ambience.
As the giver, make sure you also have cushions for your knees, or butt, or pull a chair up to the edge of the bed, so you can feel comfortable and present too. Wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. You don’t have to be sitting there naked in sexy lingerie, unless that’s what you’d love to do.
Coconut oil is your number one go-to as your massage oil. Bonus points for warming it up a bit before you use it!
Intentionally connecting with each other will take this experience far deeper than regular massage.
You’ll want to begin by sitting across from each other comfortably (either cross legged on the bed, the floor, or sitting in chairs) and try the following:
For total relaxation, the best practice is to give a full body massage before jumping straight into the penis massage. But depending on his comfort level, whether or not you’ve done this before, and how skilled he is with dropping into a present state, you might be fine with getting right to it.
Begin by inviting him to lay face down. Take at least 10-15 minutes to slowly massage his back, neck, arms, hands, glutes, thighs, calves, and feet. Get your communication sparked here by checking in on the pressure and having him tell you what he likes. This will be crucial in the next stage.
If you feel a little unsure about how to give body massage – don’t worry. You don’t have to pretend that you’re a registered massage therapist. Just hold that energy of TLC and let your body naturally do the rest. You could look up a few how-to videos if you really want to.
Once he feels dropped into his body, have him slowly turn over and spend another 10-15 minutes massaging his chest, thighs, and belly.
Spend a little focus on his inner thighs up to either side of his penis. This will promote blood flow and pelvic relaxation, which intensifies the experience.
At this point, he will have fully switched gears from the day and be ready to receive the next step of the proper penis massage.
Now, take a moment to really be present with his genitals. Give them your full, loving attention . Verbalize three things that you adore about them. It could be the size, shape, colour, hair, scent, taste, or anything else that you love about them.

For example, you could say, “I love how soft the skin is on the head of your penis,” or, “I adore the size and shape of your penis. It is the most beautiful penis I have ever seen and I love it just as much as I love you.”

Many men have had negative experiences in their sexual history related to how other people interacted with their genitals, so this step should NOT be skipped. There is a lot of healing potential here for the receiver. Take your time and really mean whatever you say.
Next, get set up in the “home position”. Place a flat palm of one hand over his genitals and the other hand over his heart. Remain here for at least a full minute, while syncing up your breaths, and encouraging him to breathe deeply into the bottom of his belly. Come back here any time he needs a break, and when you end the massage.

In earlier years of masturbation and/or casual sex with partners where there wasn’t a sense of loving connection, many men disconnected their genitals from their heart. Making ample time to be in the home position allows him to start to re-build the bridge between his heart and his genitals (which benefits him as an individual, and it also benefits your sex life, assuming you are in sexual relationship with each other).

It also feels deeply comforting and nurturing, which inspires a sense of safety and vulnerability leading into the penis massage.
Now you’re ready for the main event…
First, explain to him that you’re going to work with an arousal scale from 1 to 10. Have him tell you when he’s at an 8 or 9 (close to climax/ejaculation) so you can back off and keep the session going. It might also be worthwhile to remind him that him telling you that he’s at an 8 or 9 and needs you to back off is completely welcome, as many men (who have primarily lived a life of ‘sex as performance’ in their minds) may feel a small sense of failure if they need to tell you to slow down.
Remind him that this penis massage is about him and his pleasure. Invite him to ask for anything he needs to feel more comfortable, and to let you know which of the touches feel good, so you can spend more time with them.
Calibrate. As you go, you’re going to keep close attention on his breath and subtle body movements, and read how he’s feeling and responding. But be sure to check in often as well. Ask how he feels and where he’s at on the 1 to 10 scale. When you transition to using a new move, check in to see how he likes it.
The penis is remarkably tough, in terms of the pressure it can handle, which surprises most women. Always err on the side of gentle, but ask about the pressure to see if he wants more. Some spots will be very sensitive. Other areas will be able to handle all your finger strength.
(One caveat here: a lot of guys are used to maximum pressure and speed, in order to race to orgasm. He might not be used to slower, softer touch, and how pleasure can build up over a few minutes, even when he doesn’t feel it right away. So keep note not to go hard all the time. Most of the time it should be SLOW and more on the gentler side of the spectrum.)
To give you both an idea of what kind of timeline to expect, the actual penis massage itself should take about 30 minutes.
Use the following moves in the order I’m laying them out. Take it nice and easy. Once in a while, speed up briefly to emphasize some pleasure. But again, this is not about racing towards a climax (or necessarily bringing him to a climax at all). It’s about healing touch.
By the way, you have permission to improvise. Not all of these techniques might be home runs for him. Or they might be on another day. Follow your intuition. Keep checking in and being patient. 
Overall, really take your time. Let this be as meditative for you as it is for him. Be present to every sensation and stroke.
Begin by warming up some oil between your palms. At his side, with your fingers pointed toward his feet, place one hand at his testes and draw it up the length of his penis, followed by the other hand. Repeat this motion, overlapping your hands and applying the oil.

As always, keep your attention and intention in your hands, and be really present with what you’re doing. You don’t want to just slather on some oil haphazardly. The mindfulness element of this process can not be overstated.

Once he’s well lubricated, you can begin using the following techniques…

Moving from the whole body massage into the penis massage, a good way to start is with the bridge of integration.
Sitting between his legs (or facing his genitals directly if you are standing up), take your open hand and slide it from the base of his testicles, over his penis, over his stomach, and then move your hand over his chest around the nipples, and then back down the side of the body. Almost as if you’re doing a capital letter ‘P’ over the left side of his body with your right hand, and mirrored capital P on the right side of his body with your left hand. Alternate your hands as you go, so that one hand is always in contact with his body, if not both.


Use your thumbs to massage right beneath his testicles, on his ‘perineum’ – the space between his testicles and his anus. Many men carry a lot of pent up tension in this spot, so he will likely be able to tolerate (and enjoy) a good amount of firm pressure here.
As always, go slowly, take your time with this step, and check in with him as to how the pressure feels.
As an alternate (or additional move), you can use the knuckles of your closed fist to massage into the perineum. Either pressing in and holding there, acupressure style, or pressing in and ‘vibrating’ your fist into the perineum will work.

Using your thumb and index finger, form a gentle circle around his testes with one hand and give them a gentle tug downward while the other hand wraps around the shaft and slowly smothers excess oil from the base to the tip.
Make it a gentle intro and really take your time with this move. Let your penis-stroking hand go extra slowly, especially in the beginning. This move simultaneously feels relaxing and pleasurable.
(Note: every man is different when it comes to any sort of testicle massage/testicle play. So it’s generally a good practice to a) start very gently, and b) check in with him to make sure that the amount of gentle pressure is okay/enjoyable for him. If not, no worries! Just avoid any testicle massage or testicle-enveloping/ring-forming positions)
Because this is such an unconventional way for his penis to be touched, this move helps break up his expectations and create a more therapeutic tone.
There’s a thick ligament that runs down the underside of his penis – from the tip deep into the pelvis near the anus. You can find the full length of it two ways. If you’re placed between his legs, gently take your thumbs on either side of the ligament at the base of his penis, and trace it downward toward the anus.
If you’re at his side (due to a massage table, or otherwise) using your thumbs will be awkward to try and reach the deeper spot, so you can use your index fingers instead.
Once you
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