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11We updated this article in November 2022 to add more information about each featured product, based on extensive research done by our team.
Finding the best lesbian sex toys isn’t all that different from finding the right sex toys for, well, anyone. All it takes a little time, research, and some pleasurable practice.
“Whether gay, straight, bi, married or single, vibrators absolutely top the list of orgasm toys for women,” says sex therapist and author Gloria Brame , Ph.D. “There is no real difference in the types of sex toys used by singles or couples, lesbians or heterosexuals. If they want their woman to enjoy the unique pleasures of direct tingly madness to their clit, it’s going to be a vibrating toy.”
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom can feel intimidating, but Brame says using them can bring new dimensions of pleasure. Not only does it help keep sex lively, but it also helps build intimacy. “You can be a sensual explorer of you and your partner’s capacities for erotic satisfaction,” says Brame. “The bottom line is that the more a couple communicates positively about sex, the better the sex becomes for them. You could even say that toys are a path to greater intimacy.”
But sex toys aren’t just good for couples—they’re good for solo pleasure, too. “Masturbation is often the most direct route to pleasure and orgasm, as you know your body best,” says Jess O’Reilly , Ph.D., host of the podcast Sex With Dr. Jess. According to O’Reilly, masturbating can help increase self-esteem, lower stress levels, improve circulation to the pelvis, and enhance rest and relaxation. It also increases the likelihood of orgasm, whether alone or with a partner
“Most of us learn to orgasm through self-pleasure and accepting the fact that orgasm is an experience as opposed to something a lover can ‘give you’ can work wonders for your sexual response,” explains O’Reilly.
Meet the Experts: Gloria Brame, Ph.D., sex therapist and author. Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., host of the podcast Sex With Dr. Jess.
With the help of experts and reviewers, we’ve curated a list of top sex toys made with lesbians, queer people, and non-binary people in mind.
This list of expert-recommended sex toys—including vibrators, dildos, and strap-ons—were made with lesbians, queer folks, and non-binary people in mind.
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Luis G. Rendon/The Daily Beast/InstagramPolice arrived at the home of the four University of Idaho students who were slain on Sunday to discover their lifeless bodies still in bed, where the local coroner said it’s “likely” the friends were slaughtered while they slept just hours earlier.Latah County Coroner Cathy Mabbutt dished the shocking detail on Thursday in a late-night interview on NewsNation’s Banfield, where she also revealed each victim was stabbed multiple times.Prior to Mabbutt’s com
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The manner of deaths of four Idaho college students killed Sunday were officially ruled homicides — nearly five days after they were found slaughtered near campus, the coroner said.
Idaho police said the roommates of the four University of Idaho students killed last weekend on Nov. 13 are not suspects in the case.
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This is what is known so far about the grisly murders of four University of Idaho students, who were found stabbed to death in an off-campus home Sunday, according to police.
by Kristina Marusic Published: Mar 9, 2016
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Jillian Michaels’ dreamy proposal to her longtime girlfriend Heidi Rhoades on last night’s episode of Just Jillian made the nation swoon (well, we swooned, at least).
Here, 7 other famous lesbian couples whose mutual respect and admiration, and dedication to each other, remind us every day that true love conquers all.
These two talented, wickedly-funny blondes have been together since 2004, and got hitched in 2008. In 2007, Ellen told The Advocate , "I could say the same thing I've said in every relationship: I'm happy. But there's happiness and there's love, and then there's completion. It doesn't take away from any of the relationships that I've had, 'cause I've had amazing relationships. ...But I feel like I found my perfect fit."
When comedian Wanda Sykes spontaneously came out during a speech about LGBT equality in 2008, she not only came out as gay, but also as married—she’d secretly tied the knot with her French girlfriend Alex Niedbalski (who took Wanda’s last name) a month earlier in California. The couple are loving parents to a pair of 5-year-old twins named Lucas and Olivia.
Lauren Morelli, the head writer of Orange Is the New Black , realized—with some alarm —that she was a lesbian through the process of writing of the show. She divorced her husband amicably in 2014 and started dating Samira Wiley, who plays Poussey on the show. The pair have been being adorable all over Instagram and making each other happy every since.
This couple’s heartwarming story gave a beautifully happy ending to comedian Tig Notaro’s recent Netflix documentary about beating cancer. After months of trying to start a family, the pair is now excitedly expecting twins they’ve nicknamed “Itsy and Bitsy.”
Ellen Page’s beautiful coming out speech last year was as inspirational as it was heartwarming. She told Entertainment Tonight that her relationship with surfer/artist Samantha Thomas is “So special. So far, that’s not something I’ve experienced in my life, to get to love someone openly, to hold someone’s hand walking down the street. And it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. And I’m just very lucky to have someone in my life as special as her.”
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The Sex and the City star was engaged to her long-time girlfriend, education activist Christine Marioni, for three years while the pair waited for New York State to legalize same-sex marriage. They finally got hitched in 2012.
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Home » Our Mission » Research » Same-Sex Couples
In separate lines of research, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman have observed the strength and resilience of same-sex couples, even in the midst of the cultural and social stresses to which same-sex couples are uniquely vulnerable. These couples — like all couples — need and deserve tailored, research-based support when they are in distress.
Together, the Gottmans have a commitment to assuring that gay and lesbian couples have resources to help strengthen and support their relationships. Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman made a key contribution to research on daughters of lesbians: her work showed that daughters with lesbian moms do just as well as those raised by straight moms. Dr. John Gottman conducted the first longitudinal study of its kind of gay and lesbian relationships using multiple methods and measures. He was able to assess the emotional strengths and weaknesses of the relationships and to learn what makes these relationships more or less stable.
Dr. Gottman and his colleagues conducted a twelve-year study of same-sex couples to learn what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail. The research demonstrates that all couple types—straight or gay—have many of the same problems and the same paths to staying happy together. But research has shown that there are also some qualities of strength (like humor and the ability to calm down during a fight) that are especially key to same-sex couples.
Read more about this research in the “Journal of Homosexuality” here .
Using state-of-the-art methods while studying 21 gay and 21 lesbian couples, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Robert Levenson have learned what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail.
One key result: Overall, relationship satisfaction and quality are about the same across all couple types (straight, gay, lesbian) that Dr. Gottman has studied. This result supports prior research by Lawrence Kurdek and Pepper Schwartz: They find that gay and lesbian relationships are comparable to straight relationships in many ways.
“Gay and lesbian couples, like straight couples, deal with everyday ups-and-downs of close relationships,” Dr. Gottman observes. “We know that these ups-and-downs may occur in a social context of isolation from family, workplace prejudice, and other social barriers that are unique to gay and lesbian couples.” The research uncovered differences, however, that suggest that workshops tailored to gay and lesbian couples can have a strong impact on relationships.
Read the full article, titled “Observing Gay, Lesbian and heterosexual Couples’ Relationships – Mathematical modeling of conflict interactions,” in the Journal of Homosexuality here .
Gay/lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict. Compared to straight couples, gay and lesbian couples use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement, and partners are more positive in how they receive it. Gay and lesbian couples are also more likely to remain positive after a disagreement. “When it comes to emotions, we think these couples may operate with very different principles than straight couples. Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian relationships,” explains Gottman.
Gay/lesbian couples use fewer controlling, hostile emotional tactics. Gottman and Levenson also discovered that gay and lesbian partners display less belligerence, domineering, and fear with each other than straight couples do. “The difference on these ‘control’ related emotions suggests that fairness and power-sharing between the partners is more important and more common in gay and lesbian relationships than in straight ones,” Gottman explained.
In a fight, gay and lesbian couples take it less personally. In straight couples, it is easier to hurt a partner with a negative comment than to make one’s partner feel good with a positive comment. This appears to be reversed in gay and lesbian couples. Gay and lesbian partners’ positive comments have more impact on feeling good, while their negative comments are less likely to produce hurt feelings. “This trend suggests that gay and lesbian partners have a tendency to accept some degree of negativity without taking it personally,” observes Gottman.
Unhappy gay and lesbian couples tend to show low levels of “physiological arousal.” This is just the reverse for straight couples. For straights, physiological arousal signifies ongoing aggravation. The ongoing aroused state—including elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, and jitteriness—means partners have trouble calming down in the face of conflict. For gay and lesbian couples this lower level of arousal shows that they are able to soothe one another.
In September of 2017, Certified Gottman Therapist Salvatore Garanzini and Alapaki Yee , MFT, along with Drs. John and Julie Gottman, published the results of the first outcome research study on couples therapy with gay and lesbian couples in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. The results proved that Gottman Method Couples Therapy is incredibly effective as an evidence-based therapy for gay and lesbian couples. Working with couples at the Gay Couples Institute, Yee and Garanzini discovered that gay and lesbian couples who received Gottman Method Couples Therapy improved over twice as much as most couples. Most couples therapy outcome studies show that couples tend to improve half a standard deviation, or 0.5. However, couples who took part in the study at the Gay Couples Institute improved approximately 1.2 standard deviations. These results happened with nearly half the number of sessions that is typical for heterosexual couples. This outcome study is the first of its kind, and all of the authors are proud to display the strengths of gay and lesbian relationships to the scientific community, given the current worldwide political climate toward same-sex relationships.
In a fight, lesbians show more anger, humor, excitement, and interest than conflicting gay men. This suggests that lesbians are more emotionally expressive—positively and negatively—than gay men. This result may be the effect of having two women in a relationship. Both have been raised in a society where expressiveness is more acceptable for women than for men, and it shows up in their relationships.
Gay men need to be especially careful to avoid negativity in conflict. When it comes to repair, gay couples differ from straight and lesbian couples. If the initiator of conflict in a gay relationship becomes too negative, his partner is not able to repair as effectively as lesbian or straight partners. “This suggests that gay men may need extra help to offset the impact of negative emotions that inevitably come along when couples fight,” explains Gottman.
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