Sex Kids Is
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Sex Kids Is
Raising Kids
Better Parenting
Parenting Teenagers
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Teens date. Sometimes whether you're ready for it or not. And if you're not, what comes next can be downright terrifying: Kissing. Hugging. Holding hands. More revealing clothing.
The signs your child may be having sex are not hard to spot. But knowing how to handle the situation is anything but easy. If you're afraid your teen is having sex, here's my advice: You cannot leave this situation to chance.
It's best to bring up the issue of premature and premarital sex , and voice your concerns. Talk of your hopes and dreams for your child's future. Explain that physical and emotional issues related to sex—and this includes the possibility of a baby—could alter future plans. If you're reluctant to bring up the topic, find someone who will. This person could be a family friend, counselor, or trusted relative.
To forbid your child to have sex or deny them contraception is naive. To think that you can watch your child and their romantic partner at all times is unrealistic. Teens are very skilled in finding a way to satisfy their sexual urges. Telling a sexually interested or active teenager to not engage in sexual activity is like shoveling sand against the adolescent tide. Once a child goes through puberty, their body is equipped to procreate, and it's difficult to reverse their interest in sex once puberty takes hold.
Besides being risky physically (because of sexually transmitted diseases and the concern of pregnancy), an intimate sexual relationship is often beyond the emotional wherewithal of most teens. Most teens don't consider this when they are out to satisfy their sexual drive. You must also prepare and protect your teenager from the burden of the emotions related to a sexual relationship.
Today the attitude of many parents of teens is a "don't ask, don't tell" approach. If parents don't see signs, then it's out of the parent's mind. Such an approach is irresponsible. Every parent needs to address sexuality issues with his or her teen. And if you are seeing signs, there is no way you can let the situation alone.
Despite the need to open up a dialogue with your child about their clothes and public displays of affection, it's important to let them know that you love them no matter what. It's not easy, particularly because your child might scoff or blow up at you. Bear up nevertheless. Proceed with love and determination to make your points regardless of how you fear your child will respond.
When it comes to talking to kids about sex, parents simply can't provide too many resources. And since teens today are famously Web-savvy , sharing these sexual health Web sites with them is a nonthreatening way to let them safely explore sex stats and articles on their own.
But why should teens read about sex topics by themselves? "With the media portraying sexuality more and more, with teens at younger ages having sex, and with all of the sexual 'trends' being explored, teens need viable information," says Susan Falcone, National Board Certified teacher and Family Studies department chair at Loch Raven High School in Baltimore, Maryland.
Falcone says that the "garden of misinformation" (i.e., "I heard that that...") is still the only source for many teens.
"I've been teaching sex education for 37 years and I have seen only a modicum of progress in their knowledge, while their experiences have widened well beyond their parents'. They are still embarrassed to talk about sex with their parents and parents are still embarrassed to approach the topic with their teens," Falcone says. "More and more, schools are being restricted as to what is deemed 'appropriate' to discuss in sex education classes."
Many of the following sites are sex-positive — they don't promote abstinence as the only option for teens, but rather discuss how to make responsible choices regarding sex. Visit these sites as a parent, approve the content, then share them with your child:
The teen outreach site of Planned Parenthood Federation of America offers diagrams, Q&As, and articles about sex, pregnancy, relationships, and what happens to teen bodies. The voice of the site is that of a wise teen friend, making it approachable for the middle- and high-school set.
Reproductive health professionals answer girls' questions in live chat rooms during scheduled appearances.
An interactive, easy-to-understand animated movie about the menstrual cycle with links to articles on what to do about missed periods, surviving menstrual discomfort, and more.
I Wanna Know is the teen division of the American Social Health Association, a nongovernmental-funded group that works across the country to distribute information about sexually transmitted diseases. Bulleted information gives teens a quick look at specific sexual health considerations and STDs.
A listing of questions to ask tattoo artists or body piercers to ensure an STD-free experience.
A specific area concerning emotional changes during puberty and infrequently discussed topic!
Sex has consequences — that's the message of the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy , a nonprofit organization. The group aims to "improve the well-being of children, youth, and families by reducing teen pregnancy" by using in- and after-school programs to delay teens' first sexual experiences. The site has separate areas for parents, professionals, and even religious leaders, covering a wide base of adults who influence tweens and teens.
Searchable city and county birth data help parents see what role teen pregnancy plays in their communities.
Downloadable audio and video clips of TV shows, public service announcements, and mini-movies with safe-sex and abstinence-related topics.
Written in accessible language for teen readers, GirlsHealth is sponsored by the National Women's Health Information Center of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office on Women's Health. Teens can safely click around the "Body" and "Relationships" sections to read about their physical development, first periods, first sexual relationships, and STDs.
A specific area that discusses how parents can broach the topic of puberty and sex with their teens.
The "Free Stuff!" area lets girls download girl-positive Instant Messenger icons, computer desktop wallpaper, and calendars.
It's Your Sex Life is an offshoot of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, a nonprofit group dedicated to educating the public about major healthcare issues that face our country. It's Your Sex Life calls itself "Your Guide to Safe & Responsible Sex," and offers teens articles and fact sheets on pregnancy and contraception, HIV and STDs, and communicating effectively with their sex partners.
An interactive quiz that informs teens about recognizing STDs and taking their effects seriously.
A specific area focused on talking with partners about sex — including different real-life (not corny textbook) scenarios and how teens could react to them.
A sounding board for young adults embracing their sexuality, Scarleteen contains articles on menstruation, self-exams, contraception, relationships (gay and straight), and anatomy. Scarleteen also invites teens to "Ask a Sexpert" their most embarrassing questions or talk on chat boards about topics such as "Sexual Ethics and Politics" and "Body & Soul."
A very fresh, honest approach to what's happening to their bodies during puberty , and very candid posting boards where they can connect with other teens.
Sex, Etc. is a major collection of articles by and for teens on topics ranging from deciding whether to have sex to teen parenting to body image to abortion. (The site and accompanying print newsletter are the products of the National Teen-to-Teen Sexuality Education Project, which was developed by the Network for Family Life Education at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey.) Polls, chat boards, and a sex glossary make this a candid place for teens to talk with other teens about sex and sexuality issues.
Consistent monitoring by the Network for Family Life Education, and periodic studies regarding the success of Sex, Etc.
Interested teens — especially those with strong opinions on sexuality — are invited to apply for staff writer positions for this digital magazine.
This is the teen-focused Web site of the Coalition for Positive Sexuality , a nonprofit organization that encourages teens to demand honest sex education from their parents and educators. The group's "Just Say Yes" campaign encourages teens to look at sex as a positive experience when done responsibly. It also offers fact sheets on topics such as "What's Safe Sex," "What's Birth Control," and "What If I'm Gay?"
The "Just Say Yes" campaign is translated into Spanish.
A very inclusive approach to discussing sexuality. Much of the site discusses respecting different attitudes toward straight, gay, and bisexual teens and adults.
A peer-to-peer advocacy group for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning tweens and teens, YouthResource is committed to providing young visitors facts about the GLBTQ community and the health issues affecting those in it. The site has an extensive network of Peer Educators -- youth ages 13-24 from across the country — who answer individual and frequently asked questions by visitors.
An advocacy section where visitors can sign petitions for federal program funding read about GLBTQ-related internships and read about local and national events.
Specific communities tailored to members' interests or backgrounds — Youth of Color, Deaf Queer Youth, questioning youth -- where members can speak out about GLBTQ issues.
Over 30 years ago, one mother joined her son at a gay rights parade in New York City. Soon, she organized a support group for the families of other parade attendees in a local church basement, and today Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is hundreds of thousands of members strong. The site is a comprehensive resource for individuals looking to come out and seek the support of their families; it includes a local chapter finder, coming-out stories, and a local and national initiative listing.
A weekly e-mail newsletter that delivers up-to-the-minute happenings across the country that specifically affect GLBTQ individuals.
A thorough frequently asked questions area that gives honest advice to queries like: "Is there something wrong with being gay?" "Can gay people have families?" "Why do people come out?"
Jan Faull, MEd, is a veteran parent educator and the author of two parenting books, Mommy, I Have to Go Potty and Unplugging Power Struggles . She writes a biweekly parenting advice column for HealthyKids.com and a weekly parenting advice column in The Seattle Times newspaper. Jan Faull is the mother of three grown children and lives in the Seattle area.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
^ Jump up to: a b Shaw, J (2000). "Child on child sexual abuse: Psychological perspectives". Child Abuse & Neglect . 24 (12): 1591–1600. doi : 10.1016/S0145-2134(00)00212-X . PMID 11197037 .
^ Jump up to: a b c Loseke, Donileen R.; Gelles, Richard J.; Cavanaugh, Mary M. (2005). Current Controversies on Family Violence . Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications Inc. ISBN 978-0-7619-2106-6 .
^ Jump up to: a b John V. Caffaroa; Allison Conn-Caffaro (July–August 2005). "Treating sibling abuse families". Aggression and Violent Behavior . 10 (5): 604–623. doi : 10.1016/j.avb.2004.12.001 .
^ Jump up to: a b c Carlson, Bonnie E.; MacIol, Katherine; Schneider, Joanne (2006). "Sibling Incest: Reports from Forty-One Survivors". Journal of Child Sexual Abuse . 15 (4): 19–34. doi : 10.1300/J070v15n04_02 . PMID 17200052 . S2CID 20799279 .
^ Jump up to: a b Drew Pinsky, MD and Ted Stryker (November 5, 2007) "Loveline" Archived July 14, 2011, at the Wayback Machine (audio interview, 0:38:45-0:40:31). lovelineshow.com . Retrieved November 15, 2007.
^ Jump up to: a b Bromberg, Daniel S.; Johnson, Blair T. (2001). "Sexual interest in children, child sexual abuse, and psychological sequelae for children". Psychology in the Schools . 38 (4): 343–355. doi : 10.1002/pits.1023 .
^ Jump up to: a b Gray, A; Pithers, WD; Busconi, A; Houchens, P (1999). "Developmental and etiological characteristics of children with sexual behavior problems: Treatment implications". Child Abuse & Neglect . 23 (6): 601–21. doi : 10.1016/S0145-2134(99)00027-7 . PMID 10391518 .
^ Jump up to: a b Gray, Alison; Busconi, Aida; Houchens, Paul; Pithers, William D. (1997). "Children with sexual behavior problems and their caregivers: Demographics, functioning, and clinical patterns". Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment . 9 (4): 267–290. doi : 10.1007/BF02674853 .
^ Marshall, W.L. (1997). Pedophilia: Psychopathology and theory. In D. R. Laws &W. O’Donohue (Eds.), Sexual deviance: Theory, assessment, and treatment (pp. 152–174). New York: Guilford.
^ Wieckowski, Edward; Hartsoe, Peggy; Mayer, Arthur; Shortz, Joianne (1998). "Deviant Sexual Behavior in Children and Young Adolescents: Frequency and Patterns". Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment . 10 (4): 293–303. doi : 10.1023/A:1022194021593 .
^ "Do Children Sexually Abuse Other Children? Preventing Sexual Abuse Among Children and Youth" Archived 2017-09-02 at the Wayback Machine , "Stop It Now!", 2007
^ Jump up to: a b Craig, Elaine (2020-08-17). "Child's Play or Sexual Abuse? Reviewing the Efficacy of the Justice Framework in Dealing with Child on Child Sexual Abuse in the United Kingdom" . Journal of Child Sexual Abuse . 29 (6): 734–748. doi : 10.1080/10538712.2020.1719448 . ISSN 1053-8712 . PMID 32286188 . S2CID 215758238 .
^ Jane M. Rudd; Sharon D. Herzbergerb (September 1999). "Brother-sister incest—father-daughter incest: a comparison of characteristics and consequences". Child Abuse & Neglect . 23 (9): 915–928. doi : 10.1016/S0145-2134(99)00058-7 . PMID 10505905 .
^ Brown, Janelle C., Ph.D. (September, 2004). " Child-on-child sexual abuse: An investigation of behavioral and emotional sequelae ," University of Pennsylvania, p. 1539.
^ Arata, Catalina M. (2006). "Child Sexual Abuse and Sexual Re-victimization". Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice . 9 (2): 135–164. doi : 10.1093/clipsy.9.2.135 .
Child-on-child sexual abuse is a form of child sexual abuse in which a prepubescent child is sexually abused by one or more other children or adolescents , and in which no adult is directly involved. While this includes when one of the children uses physical force, threats, trickery or emotional manipulation to elicit cooperation, it also can include non-coercive situations where the initiator proposes or starts a sexual act that the victim does not understand the nature of and simply goes along with, not comprehending its implications or what the consequences might be. [1]
Child-on-child sexual abuse is differentiated from normative sexual play or anatomical curiosity and exploration (e.g. " playing doctor ") because child-on-child sexual abuse is an overt and deliberate action directed at sexual stimulation , including orgasm . [2] When sexual abuse is perpetrated by one sibling upon another, it is known as " inter-sibling abuse ". [3] When victims of inter-sibling child-on-child sexual abuse grow up, they often have distorted recall of the act, such as thinking it was consensual or that they were the initiator. [4]
In the case of child-on-child sexual abuse, young children who have not matured sexually are incapable of knowing about specific sex acts without an external source. [5] [6] [7] Consequently, children who initiate or solicit overtly sexual acts with other children most often have been sexually victimized by an adult beforehand, [5] [6] [8] or by another child who was in turn abused by an adult. [9] [10] More than half have been victimized by two or more perpetrators. [7] In some instances, the perpetrating child was exposed to pornography or repeatedly witnessed sexual activity of adults at a very young age, and this can also be considered a form of child sexual abuse . [8]
In many cases, a child or adolescent may have no intent to cause any harm to another child, and they act merely on a passing impulse. However, this act may still result in harm to the other child and is a form of child-on-child sexual abuse. [11] Furthermore, children who had experienced an unwanted sexual approach may not understand that this act was crime against themselves. [12]
Child-on-child sexual abuse frequently goes unreported because it is not widely known about by the public, [2] and often occurs outside of adults' direct supervision. Even if known by adults, it is sometimes dismissed as harmless by those who do not understand the implications. [2] In particular, inter-sibling abuse is under-reported relative to the reporting rates for parent–child sexual abuse, [3] and disclosure of the incest by the victim during childhood is rare. [4]
Children who were sexually victimized by other minors , including inter-sibling abuse, show largely the same problems as children victimized by adults, including anxiety disorders , depression , substance abuse , suicide , eating disorders , post traumatic stress disorder , sleep disorders and difficulty trusting peers in the context of relationships. [1] [13] The victim often thinks that the act was normal, including thinking they were the initiator or that they went through the act voluntarily. [4]
Major factors that affect the severity of symptoms include the use of force or coercion, the frequency of the abuse, and the invasiveness of the act. [14] An increased risk of victimization later in life has also been reported. [15]
The term minor sex offenders may be used for children under 18 years old that have initiated any non-consensual sexual activity with another person. This population may be viewed as a younger version of sexual perpetrators and may be assessed as part of a same group, when they represent a significant heterogenous group. For example, these children tend to exhibit different motivations for their actions than adult sexual offenders and they tend to respond more favorably to treatment. [12]
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Issues related to sexuality of US adolescents
Further information: Adolescent sexuality
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For a comprehensive list of ages state-by-state, see Ages of consent in the United States § State laws .
^ Although STD has been the term used the longest (for sexually transmitted disease), the preferred term now is STI , for sexually transmitted infection, reflecting the fact that it is possible to become infected but not display any symptoms
^ UNICEF (2001). "Teenage Births in Rich Nations" (PDF) . Retrieved October 9, 2012 .
^ "Abou
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