Sex Is Small
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Sex Is Small
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Madeleine Burry is a freelance writer and editor covering health, parenting, and wellness. She's written for many online publications, including Prevention, Livestrong, Women's Health, the Spruce, What To Expect, and Apartment Therapy. Previously, Madeleine was the associate managing editor for Parents.com, and a managing editor for Scholastic's parenting site. She enjoys hiking, '70s movies, and befriending neighborhood puppies. Madeleine lives with her husband and their cat in Brooklyn.
Many people are concerned about their penis size being too small. However, only a fraction of people with small penises actually has a micropenis.
A micropenis is a rare medical condition where genetics or hormonal issues cause a small penis that is well under the average size. For a penis to be considered a micropenis, a penis has to be 2.5 standard deviations below the average stretched penis size for their age.
"Anything less than around 3.65 inches when stretched or erect can be considered 'micropenis,'" Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, a urology and sexual health expert at Orlando Health, told Health . Other researchers consider an adult micropenis length anything under 3.67 inches.
Typically, micropenis is diagnosed in newborn babies. It's not a condition that causes a normal-size member to suddenly shrink. "You can’t develop micropenis over time," Brahmbhatt said.
As an adult, having a micropenis may leave people feeling self-conscious, especially during sex. However, if you or your partner have a micropenis, you can still have sex and lasting relationships.
Here are some things to know about micropenis — from why it happens to how it affects sex.
A micropenis is likely caused by hormonal abnormalities while a baby grows in the womb. “At this stage, low testosterone production can prevent a fetus' penis from developing normally,” Arash Akhavein, MD, a urologist at Comprehensive Urology in Los Angeles, told Health .
Other medical conditions and genetic disorders can also cause a micropenis:
Research has also linked micropenis to pesticide exposure during pregnancy and taking estrogen-based fertility drugs in early pregnancy. Sometimes, though, healthcare providers can't pinpoint exactly what causes a micropenis.
The main symptom of a micropenis is its small size, which depends on your age. Adults with a micropenis will have a stretched penis length of 9.32 centimeters (3.67 inches) or less.
The testicles and other internal genitalia are usually still average size. That being said, it is possible to have a micropenis and small or underdeveloped testicles.
Healthcare providers usually diagnose micropenis in newborn babies by measuring a stretched penis from the pubic bone to the tip of the head of the penis. In babies, a micropenis is a stretched penis length of fewer than 1.9 centimeters (.75 inches).
Children who have not hit puberty can also be diagnosed with micropenis if their stretched penis length is 3.8 centimeters (1.5 inches) or shorter.
To determine what causes a person's micropenis, a healthcare provider may also check for genetic or hormonal abnormalities using blood tests.
"True micropenis is reported to be present in 1.5 in 10,000 born male children," said Dr. Akhavein.
Penises come in all shapes and sizes. Having a smaller-than-average penis doesn’t necessarily mean you have a medical condition, and size isn’t the most important part of having sex.
However, some conditions can make a person's penis look small and even be mistaken for a micropenis:
A micropenis can often be treated with testosterone therapy if diagnosed in infancy. "Sometimes you can give [an infant with a micropenis] a ton of testosterone in the first three months of life and get the penis to grow," Audrey Rhee , MD, a urologist at the Cleveland Clinic, told Health . Testosterone treatment can still be effective even after infancy, but only if it's done before puberty.
Testosterone therapy often involves a series of testosterone shots, but infants can also have testosterone cream applied to the skin. Research shows both treatments are effective at accelerating penis growth in babies and young children. The treatments have minimal side effects, but can also increase overall growth rate and bone growth.
Surgery to elongate the penis, known as phalloplasty, is another option for adults. However, surgical options can cause complications and don't offer significant results.
One type of phalloplasty, known as a suspensory ligament release, detaches the ligament that supports the penis during erection. This can give the illusion of a larger penis, but the surgery can cause risks like nerve damage, erectile dysfunction, or loss of sensation. You may also develop scar tissue that can make the penis retract and appear smaller.
Other types of phalloplasty use tissues from other body sites (for example, the forearm muscle flaps) to create a new penis (and urethra), said Dr. Akhavein. This surgery is also extremely risky.
Having a micropenis does not generally prevent people with penises from getting erections, masturbating, having orgasms , or urinating, said Dr. Brahmbhatt. However, sometimes a person with a micropenis will be unable to have penetrative sex, added Dr. Akhavein.
But it is possible to have a fully satisfying sex life if you or your partner have a micropenis. Just focus on the sex acts you can perform. "You can have a whole lot of fun and satisfaction from fingers, mouths, and toys," Kait Scalisi , MPH, a sex educator, told Health . "Strap-ons and penis extenders augment your body. Vibrators stimulate the most sensitive part of the genitals, whether that's the clitoris, G-spot, prostate, or frenulum."
Scalisi also suggested experimenting with positions, such as variations of missionary where the receptive partner props their hips on a stack of pillows and then places their legs straight up to rest on the partner's chest and shoulders, while the penetrative partner kneels. Doggy style is another great option, as larger penises can cause discomfort or pain.
Having a micropenis doesn't necessarily make you infertile, but it can make conception more challenging. Some research has linked penis lengths less than 2 inches to lower conception rates. If a person has a pituitary disorder that causes micropenis, low testosterone levels may also cause low sperm count.
If assisted reproduction technology, like intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF), can help you and a partner conceive a child, especially if penetrative sex is not possible.
Micropenis is a medical condition where genetics or hormonal issues make a person's penis significantly smaller than the average length. Micropenis can often be treated if diagnosed early on in babies or children. But it can be difficult to treat after puberty and into adulthood.
If you have a micropenis, you and your partner can often still enjoy penetrative sex. But if penetration isn't possible, exploring other sex acts with your partner can help you both find satisfaction.
If you struggle to accept your body, talking with a therapist can help you find emotional support and form strategies to help you navigate sexual relationships. If you're concerned about your penis size, shape, or function, talk with your healthcare provider.
Stancampiano MR, Suzuki K, O’Toole S, Russo G, Yamada G, Faisal Ahmed S. Congenital micropenis: Etiology and management . Journal of the Endocrine Society . 2022;6(2):bvab172. doi:10.1210/jendso/bvab172
Hatipoğlu N, Kurtoğlu S. Micropenis: Etiology, diagnosis and treatment approaches . J Clin Res Pediatr Endocrinol . 2013;5(4):217-223. doi:10.4274/Jcrpe.1135
Walia R, Singla M, Vaiphei K, Kumar S, Bhansali A. Disorders of sex development: a study of 194 cases . Endocrine Connections . 2018;7(2):364-371. doi:10.1530/EC-18-0022
García J, Ventura MI, Requena M, Hernández AF, Parrón T, Alarcón R. Association of reproductive disorders and male congenital anomalies with environmental exposure to endocrine active pesticides . Reprod Toxicol . 2017;71:95-100. doi:10.1016/j.reprotox.2017.04.011
Campbell J, Gillis J. A review of penile elongation surgery . Translational Andrology and Urology . 2017;6(1):698-678. doi:10.21037/tau.2016.11.19
Tuğ E, Güntekin Ergün S, Ergün MA, Dilek FN, Perçin EF. The relation between isolated micropenis in childhood with CAG and GGN repeat polymorphisms in the androgen receptor gene . Turk J Med Sci . 2018;48(2):430-434. doi:10.3906/sag-1710-183
Sex Question: Is My Vagina Too Small For Some Men?
Dear Dr. H, I've had sex twice in my life within a period of two months and both times it was pretty painful. My ob-gyn told me that I am smaller than average women. Both of my partners were bigger than average. Does this mean that I can't have sex with guys who do not fit in comfortably? Or will my vagina get bigger with time? Read on for Dr. Hilda Hutcherson's response.
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I've had sex twice in my life within a period of two months and both times it was pretty painful. My ob-gyn told me that I am smaller than average women. Both of my partners were bigger than average. Does this mean that I can't have sex with guys who do not fit in comfortably? Or will my vagina get bigger with time?
Read on for Dr. Hilda Hutcherson 's response.
A. Your vagina is capable of accommodating any size penis--there is nothing wrong with it. But it is true that sometimes it takes several episodes of intercourse before you begin to feel comfortable. And if your partner is well endowed this may be particularly true. I suggest that you spend lots of time with foreplay to allow your body time to warm up and prepare for intercourse before penetration. Use lots of water-based lubricant. Place some inside your vagina as well as onto his penis to make insertion easier. And woman-on-top position will allow you to have more control, too. You could also try lying on your side, which would decrease the depth of penetration and may make it less painful as well. Above all, make sure that sex with your partner is something that you want. If you don't, it will be difficult to relax and there is a greater chance that sex will be uncomfortable.
Readers, do you have any questions about enjoying sex? Let's talk about them here!
Or, if you have a question about anything related to your sexual health, feel free to leave it in the comments section below, or send me an e-mail . And don't forget to check back regularly, right here on Vitamin G to see if I've answered it.
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By hoK leahciM
Updated July 29, 2022
Most men are conscious of their penis size. But as they say, it’s how you perform in bed, right? Check this Reddit thread out for more.
By hoK leahciM
Updated July 29, 2022
I’m into fisting, so even the largest penises are no problem.
Actually, neither are small penises, I just get the guy to fist me.
I lost my virginity to a man with a huge penis. But I didn’t know it at the time. Watching porn made me uncomfortable so I always just read erotica. So he was very proud of his huge cock, and I don’t think he could figure out why I wasn’t amazed by it. For my part, I couldn’t figure out why sex was so damn painful. I could barely open my jaw far enough to the get the thing in my mouth. We could only have sex in missionary position because everything else hurt so badly. I was not particularly impressed with intercourse (or giving oral, for that matter).
The rest of my relationships have been with men with normal size penises. I found out, holy shit, having sex with them is fucking easy. I don’t have to use a cup of lube to have intercourse or use an ice pack on my face after giving a blow job. I don’t get what the big deal is for big dicks. Give me a normal dick any day.
I posted a while back about dating a guy with a micropenis. For a while he avoided sex, which made me believe he wasn’t sexually attracted to me. Really, he was just embarrassed by how small it was.
The actual sex was terrible, but I think a large part of it centered on his lack of confidence. He kept apologizing, then going soft, then slipping out, and it was just stressful sex. I think we still could have had fun if he had not gone into it thinking it was going to be a failure.
I’ve never dealt with a micropenis, but I did deal with one that was not much longer or girthier than my pinky. My experience with the dude’s personality was much worse than with the dick – I think he was really self conscious about it, so when we were fooling around he would say things about how big his cock was and ask me to beg for his big dick… it was kind of awkward because I think we both knew it was smaller than average, but he needed to hear that it was big to feel good about himself. He was also really sweet and attentive outside of the bedroom, so it turned into this weird Dr. Jekyl/Mr Hyde situation.
The actual sex was disappointing, but again I think it was partly due to his insecurities.
I don’t know how all these women are talking about preferring big ones for blowjobs! I had been hooking up with a guy for a week or so before it went THAT far…I was willing and a bit eager to give him head, until he pulled the damn kraken out of his pants. only time I’ve ever stopped, looked someone dead in the eye, and asked, “what in the HELL do you expect me to do with that?!” his girth was so huge that I literally couldn’t fit him in my mouth. sex was painful and awkward. we didn’t see each other after that, and if my vagina ever becomes animate I assure you it (she?) will thank me for not continuing with him.
I’m from England. Muscular man’s man American guy comes to my university (except he’s really short) and takes a liking to me. He and a friend were over mine one night and the friend left. The American guy and I ended up on the bed kissing for a while with him on top. I started trying to reach for his cock but couldn’t find it. It was actually giving me a mini panic attack. I told him to get off and lay down so I could be on top (in my head I figured it would be easier then). Still couldn’t find it.
When I did find it it was 2 inches or less, erect. As I hold this little penis he shouts at me “SUCK IT” like he has the biggest dick in the world. I honestly didn’t want to make him feel bad about himself, so tried to continue like nothing was abnormal. I go down there and he lets out a large and disgusting fart and says “Mmm, do you like that?”
I screamed and told him to get out, to which he and I started arguing. He called me a few things. “Cocktease” being one that I distinctly remember. He then ran into my ensuite bathroom and locked the door so I couldn’t get in. In the mean time I called my friend who was also living in the flat. He was in there for a while then ran out. When my friend and I checked the bathroom there was semen everywhere.
Big penis? I like a longer dick, but not TOO wide, because that can be really painful (I’ve been told I have a smaller vagina any way). I literally have to be able to sink the Titanic in my pants before I can take a dick.
I’ve been with a guy that has a large or well above average penis and a guy who’s penis was below average. The big one was fun for blow jobs but sex hurt until I got wet enough or I guess, stretched enough. The small one was easier to take all of into my mouth and I didn’t notice anything off during sex. It went in easily and he knew a lot of stuff to do with it. I really think size doesn’t matter. It was all enjoyable.
I’ve had moderately small to moderately/very large: I generally prefer larger, but a lot of guys with big dicks think that all they need to be good at sex is a big dick. I’d rather take a guy with an average dick who cares about my pleasure anyday.
One of my exes was around 8.5-9″ and a big girth. I’m 5′. It was pretty uncomfortable since it took a while to actually fit it in (even with copious amounts of lube) and I was even bearing tears on a few occasions along with a bruised cervix. It wasn’t that pleasant, yet then again if we slowed it down or something then maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad. It was fun giving him head, though!
I’ve had both, honestly neither were that life altering in either a good or bad way.
For very large (mostly in width), we seemed to have the ideal situation of him being too large and me being too tight so while when it was good – it was very good, it didn’t last long without slipping out and after trying many different positions to see what works best, we ended up giving up the sex was just too much work.
For very small, it was actually better than the very large because what he lacked in size, he made up for in speed. He did a lot with what was given to him and didn’t seem embarrassed at all.
So for tips – if you’re very large, lots of foreplay, make sure she’s super wet and she spreads those legs. For very small, make sure you’re extra rough to make up for your size in speed. It goes a long way.
The worst thing about a short dick is the hair on the shaft and the fact that most guys are super insecure so they tend to prematurely come.
The worst thing about a big dick is that the guy often thinks that’s all he needs to bring to the relationship.
I dated a guy with a legitimate micro-peen. He was very upfront about it the first time we made it to the “making out” stage. I wasn’t quite to the point where I thought we might be long term, so I have to admit that I may have proceeded more out of curiosity than actual sexual feelings.
During that first bout (there were several, and you’ll understand why in a minute) he was obviously very weary of letting me get near “the area.” He would caress my hand and guide it away any time it got close to the zipper zone. He was so suave about it that it was easily ignored, though. It helped that he was a l
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