Sex Is Magic

Sex Is Magic
By Jasmine Gomez Published: Jan 27, 2021
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Jasmine Gomez Associate Commerce Editor
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It's like creating a vision board, but hotter.
If you've ever wished on a shooting star, or spent hours cutting photos out of magazines to design your vision board, then you know all about trying to shift energy to try to chase after what you want.
Sex magic isn't all that different. As a ritual, it involves setting an intention and performing a sexual act to try and achieve it. The act can be rooted only in sensuality, a masturbation sesh , or a romp with your partner.
Keep in mind, though, you're not going to read a spell from a book or do a bunch of unfamiliar movements like you might have seen in films. Instead, it involves practicing a bit of mindfulness. Isabella Frappier , a sexual activist and pleasure mentor, and co-host of the Sex Magic Podcast , says sex magic has been practiced for way longer than has been documented in non-western practices.
Frappier says there are anecdotal stories of women trying to manifest their sexual energies to do things like aid the growth of struggling crops. "There are long-held traditions of women placing their vulvas on rising dough, and then baking it to gift to a crush as a love spell. There are even stories of women flashing their vulvas to struggling crops to help them grow," explains Frappier.
These days, sex magic has reached a certain level of popularity in the West, but Frappier says it's been practiced for hundreds, if not thousands of years. However, there is no official definition of sex magic. Instead, the practice is very personalized.
Frappier says it's all about energy. "Magic is inherent within sex. They are both about energy. Sex magic is learning how to harness your own sexual power. It activates an intuitive part of yourself."
Ahead, Frappier takes you through everything you should know about practicing sex magic rituals.
The word "magic" may drum up images of spells and the stuff appearing before you by just chanting a few words, but that isn't how sex magic works.
Sex magic is using your sexual energy to set your intentions and manifest your desires, whether that's financial abundance, meeting career goals, finding a new living situation, or deepening a relationship with a partner. Frappier adds every practitioner of sex magic will have their own definition of it, but in her opinion, it requires a few things: consent, connection, and pleasure. "When we combine these, sex magic means being able to shift your consciousness to connection and pleasure, with consent of course."
Sex magic can involve different kinds of activity, from masturbation to a kiss. But in order to practice it, you need to be present, says Frappier. That might mean being mindful of your environment, your partner(s) if you’re involving others, your mood, the lunar cycle, or your internal cycles, and most importantly, your intention.
Because there's no real science to sex magic (sorry), it's all about feeling good and harnessing your energy towards your intention. Think of it like throwing a coin into a fountain and making a wish.
Frappier says the simplest way to practice it is to set an intention before sex on your own or with a partner: "Ask yourself, 'What are my intentions for this experience?'" And go into the activity with that goal in mind.
Anything, really. Frappier says the only limit is your own imagination. You can try to manifest more money into your life, a deeper connection with another person, or any kind of personal healing you desire, and you don't necessarily have to orgasm to be able to do it. "It’s true that orgasms are a moment of powerful energetic release, one that you can harness. But, there are all different realms of pleasure, and they are all powerful," says Frappier.
In fact, the outcome may be better if you remove the pressure. "Adding the pressure of 'having to have' an orgasm to do sex magic can make it more challenging for vulva-bodied people to achieve them," says Frappier. As long you set your intention, from there, just do you.
Though you can use materials like crystals and essential oils , if you don't have them, don't worry. Supplies like these can elevate your experience, but they aren't necessary. What is essential are the four steps that will allow you to create your own sex magic ritual, says Frappier, and they can be as brief or as you want them to be.
First, reflect on your intention, whether it's becoming more comfortable with your body , developing new friendships, getting a raise, or anything else you desire.
Next, cleanse your energy. Do this by taking deep breaths, or burn cinnamon sticks, rosemary, lavender, cedar, sage, or palo santo and smudge the smoke around your space.
Then, gather your materials. That can be sex toys, scented candles, flowers, or whatever else you're comfortable with. You may also want to change the sheets of your bed to a color associated with the energy you're chasing. "For example, if you’re doing a financial abundance spell, green or gold is very appropriate," Frappier says.
Your next step should include a few moments to ground yourself. "I like to do some deep breath work, while imagining rainbow light flowing down from the cosmos, filling my body, and flowing down into the earth. Rooted, but flowing," says Frappier. She also suggests some eye gazing with your partner as an easy way to get your energies in sync, or if you're solo, some eye-gazing with yourself in the mirror.
Finally, you're ready to perform the ritual, which will be unique to you and whatever your intentions or desires are. Remember: your ritual doesn't have to end in an orgasm. When you feel the energy naturally starting to wind down or when you’ve fully explored your intentions for that session, says Frappier, you might consider the session over. Once you're done, take the time you need to come down from the experience. Some ways you can do that include snuggling under soft blankets or journaling, adds Frappier.
You can even follow that up with some appreciation, says Frappier. "You can thank the universe for lending you its divine energy. Then, you can visualize your energy gently returning to within your heart space. It can be helpful to imagine any excess energy flowing down your spine and back into the ground, both nourishing and expressing gratitude to the earth."
Your ritual is now complete. If this sounds like something you want to experience, but you don't know where to start, here are some examples of sex magic rituals from Frappier.
This ritual can be used to manifest more money into your life, whether it's a raise or financial freedom.
"Decorate yourself and your space in as much green and gold as possible. Get some cash out from the bank (sterilize it), and lay it on your bed with yellow rose petals. Light a candle. Set up a mirror so you can make eye contact with yourself. Light some candles, dress in a way that maybe you feel luxuriously sexy, and begin self-pleasuring (or partnered sex if you prefer).
Visualize a golden genital of your choice floating above you. It’s filled with all the financial abundance you’d ever need. Imagine how it would feel to make love to it. When it orgasms, it fills your body and energy up with an infinite amount of $100 bills. Pick a mantra to repeat such as 'I love money because I love myself,' 'I am money,' 'I am magnetic to money, money is magnetic to me,' or something more personal to you. If you orgasm, try and make eye contact with yourself in the mirror and shout your mantra out loud. When you’re finished, blow out your candle and say 'and so it is.' Then, remember to ground yourself afterward."
You can use this ritual to heal from something negative or to create space for something that will improve your life, like becoming more confident in sex.
"Choose some duality by holding both something you’d like to release, as well as new energy or aspect you’d like to embrace. Next, craft a mantra for it. For example, if you want to release some negative self-beliefs and embrace feeling more confident during sex, a beautiful mantra for that could be, 'I allow all sexual shame to melt away, and I fully embrace my sensuality.' Next, set the mood. Light some candles, play some atmospheric music or relax with a bath or a self-massage with some scented oils first. This is time for you, so really indulge in it, and choose what works best for you. Then, it’s time to masturbate (or have partnered sex if you prefer)."
Frappier adds that some people are able to hold their mantra in their head during the build-up, but some aren’t. If you have difficulty doing this, she recommends writing your mantra down on a piece of paper, and placing it on your chest.
Remember to take this advice with a grain of salt. At the end of day, your sex magic ritual will be unique and individual, so only do whatever feels comfortable.
Jasmine Gomez is the Associate Commerce Editor at Women’s Health and covers health, fitness, sex, culture and cool products. She enjoys karaoke and dining out more than she cares to admit.
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Sex Magic: How to use your sexual energy for manifestation
You will become more clear about what you really want by taking time to vividly imagine what it would be like to have a lived, 5-senses experience of your desired reality You will quickly realize if you have any major internal conflicts around that desire, by asking yourself if it aligns with your idea of Highest Good You will be giving yourself lots of self-pleasure, which has all kinds of amazing health benefits in and of itself, and by definition, feels really good!
Potential Game-Changing, Mind-Blowing, World-Rocking Benefits
You'll harness and channel your sexual energy to become a high-vibration electromagnetic match for whatever you want in life You'll develop an embodied understanding that your sexuality -- your life force and your ecstasy -- is a bridge between your organic, finite human experience and the boundless, infinite potentiality of Source / The Universe / Divine Consciousness / God / etc.
Sex Magic improves communication & alignment between different parts of the brain
Sex Magic uses visualization to shift your subconscious identity
Sex Magic associates your desire with pleasure and aliveness
Sex Magic changes your electromagnetic "signature"
The Role of "Divine Desire" in Manifestation
Sex Magic creates alignment between different parts of your brain by activating your primal/limbic brain (with connected breath) while you visualize a desired future with your cortical brain Sex Magic raises the vibration of your energy field by moving breath and energy along a central channel in your body, passing through -- and being refined by -- each of the other chakras along the way Sex Magic has the potential to induce the secretion of metabolites from the pineal gland and generate "3rd eye orgasms" as frequencies from beyond the visible light field are received into your brain (for more on this, read Dispenza's book, Becoming Supernatural ) Sex Magic focuses your mind on a clearly defined desire that you can feel good about, because it aligns with your idea of the "Highest Good" Sex Magic uses elements of manifestation emphasized in other manifestation texts, such as desire CLARITY, CONSISTENCY, VISUALIZATION, and generating lots of POSITIVE EMOTION associated with the desire Sex Magic is consistent with many other philosophies of manifestation, which center on the idea that our desires are essentially the desires of God, wanting to be revealed through us, and experienced through us. Divine Intelligence / Source / Consciousness will therefore provide us with whatever we desire, so long as we desire it with enough clarity, persistence, and gratitude to not give up on it before it arrives.
If you've made it this far, I bet you are!
I created a Sex Magic audio to guide you through this powerful practice -- yours FREE! Just enter your info below so I know where to send it.
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Library of 30+ Embodiment Practices
In short, Sex Magic is a manifestation practice involving the following five steps:
You'll have a chance to get the full step-by-step audio guide for free at the end of the post , but for now, here's a PDF that sums up the basic components of the practice and outlines the names and locations of each of the seven chakras.
Sex Magic, when practiced consistently, can be incredibly transformative, whether you buy into the "magic" part or not.
There have not been (to my knowledge) any randomized controlled studies on Sex Magic providing evidence that Sex Magic is effective. There is not any known formula outlining how consistently it needs to be practiced in order to yield results, or how long it generally takes before the thing you desire becomes manifest in your life. None of that has been formally studied.
What we DO have is anecdotal evidence, such as the Sex Magic Success Story included in this post.
So as you read on, be aware that these are theories about how and why Sex Magic could work and has worked for people. While I personally believe that it works, I would never make any guarantees or impose those beliefs on anyone else.
Perhaps someday there will be more scientific research and long-term studies on the effects of different manifestation methods. (The clinical researcher in me would gobble that shit UP, and the mystic in me is hoping no one ever actually tries to quantify the efficacy of manifestation.)
For now, I'm hoping that the following theories can help us all wrap out heads around how channeling our sexual energy for manifestation might actually work, and inspire you to try it out for yourself.
Sex Magic affects the brain in 3 different ways:
The brain is really bad at being able to distinguish thought from reality. That's why, when you have thoughts about failing a test, or a loved one dying, or getting married to the love of your life, you will actually feel the emotions of anxiety, sadness, and joy (respectively) in your body.
Consider also what happens in our bodies when we think about something that turns us on sexually -- doesn't your body respond, physiologically? The mind is powerful! Beyond a doubt, your thoughts affect your body at a minimum, and they potentially affect your physical reality on a much wider scale as well.
The mind's ability to influence the body even contributes to motor skill building. In the book The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force , there are several examples of people using mental practice (ie. their imagination) to restore lost motor skills, practice complex piano pieces, and create other incredible results.
This works because what you experience in your imagination is registered by your brain the same way as something occurring in the "real world."
So, when you visualize yourself having something you want during Sex Magic, your mind starts to see you as the type of person who actually has that thing. And over time, your subconscious will get to work making that imagined experience your actual reality.
According to the book Psychocybernetics , your subconscious is a powerful creative mechanism that is always working to bridge the gap between your identity and your reality. Here's how it works:
One thing to note, of course, is that if you also have lots of thoughts that you are a relationship screw-up, that you don't deserve love, that it's never going to happen for you, that there's no good ones left out there, that no one wants to commit or have something meaningful, etc., those will be processed by your brain and subconscious in the same pattern.
So you might do Sex Magic regularly for an entire year, but if you're telling yourself in between practices that you suck and you feel unworthy of love and you aren't doing anything to improve your embodied sense of worthiness to thrive in life and love, then your subconscious is going to be getting all kinds of mixed messages about who you actually are, and not know what direction to steer you in.
I don't mean to put pressure on you to be sunny-positive-Polyanna about yourself 24/7. That's not the thing here.
The art of it, from what I can tell, is allowing yourself to feel worthy and ready for the things you desire even if you also feel like a lazy POS, a total mess, a deeply insecure person, an ugly person, a burden, a fuck-up, etc.
Or, you could lean into those feelings in a different way. You can learn to "get off" on all that shadowy self-criticism also, so that even your repeating patterns of toxic relationships and money scarcity can become desire fulfillment in a cosmically kinky way.
In fact, Carolyn Elliott, PhD has written an entire (brilliant) book , Existential Kink , teaching you exactly how to do this! And this leads us to the next theory...
One of my take-aways from Existential Kink was if we find ourselves in repeating patterns of things we consciously DO NOT WANT, it may indicate that a part of us "gets off" on that thing. For example, a part of us may take a kinky pleasure in the grind of being a struggling entrepreneur, the grit and creativity of getting by on less money than other people, the thrills of dating unavailable people, the challenge of proving our worthiness, value, and attractiveness to other people over and over again...
If you pay attention, you may notice that these "unhealthy" or "toxic" patterns and identities actually generate more intense sensations of excitement and aliveness in your body...
...especially when you compare them to what you feel when you think of actually having a secure relationship, financial stability, or true comfort in your own skin.
When you think about those healthy desires, you probably feel good and peaceful, perhaps a sense of relief.
But do they turn you on ? Does your heart beat faster? Does your body buzz? Can you feel energy move? Does your heart or pussy tingle?
If not, it's time to ask yourself if that thing you say you want IS what you want, or if it's just the thing you feel comfortable or justified wanting... the responsible, admirable, ethical, or status-boosting next step.
Your subconscious will generally deliver the thing that turns you on -- even in a shadowy, kinky, self-sabotaging way -- so this is a very important question to be asking yourself.
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