Sex Incest Dad And Daughter
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"The sexual intensity was nothing like I'd ever felt before. It was like being loved by a parent you never had, and the partner you always wanted, at once."
Note: The following article contains reference to sexual misconduct that some readers may find distressing.
Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) seems to be a real topic of discussion at the moment, with numerous stories of long-lost family members who reunited only to discover an intense sexual attraction, being bandied about all over the place.
And another one has emerged today, in the form of an interview by Jezebel. In an initial first-hand piece published by the site, a woman called Natasha described her experience of GSA. Meeting her father aged 19, she ended up engaging in a sexual relationship with him, all the while struggling with the countering emotions of self-loathing and disgust.
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Natasha didn't grow up with her father, explaining that he actually left while her mum was pregnant. But she says her mother's following relationship with a woman didn't leave an unfilled hole for a male authority figure.
"My mom's long-term partner was a patriarchal butch lesbian, so I already had a 'father figure' in my immediate family," she said.
But because her mum's partner, whom she split with when Natasha was 19, had been emotionally abusive, she set about tracking down her father.
"I was desperate for anything else. So when I found my dad, it didn't matter that he was a man, it just mattered that he was a parent," she recollected.
After Googling her father's name, she managed to track him down as living in Jamaica, and says he was "thrilled" at her getting in touch. When Natasha first met her father, she describes being "taken with him, but in a nonsexual way," until a year later when she recalls feeling sexually attracted to him, and during the following year she and her father had oral sex "four or five times over the course of a few days."
Discussing her intimate relationship with her father, Natasha labelled it "crazy", but not necessarily in a bad way.
But the progression of their sexual experience only stopped because her father took control. "I had tried to have unprotected intercourse with him, which I had never done before in my life," she said, "and he stopped me and said, 'We can't, I'm your father'."
While this made Natasha believe her father was trying to protect her at the time, years later she thinks of his actions as "terrifying".
Following that trip to Jamaica - which had been her third - Natasha felt so disgusted at herself that she entered into therapy and stopped seeing her father. Although he was in contact with her at the beginning of her counselling sessions, she soon began to feel angry at the situation and stopped answering his calls.
"He wound up sending me an email eventually, apologizing," Natasha recalled. "It wasn't a particularly long or insightful message. It was just, 'I'm really sorry for what happened.' Too little, too late."
If you are upset by anything you have read and would like support, reach out to ISAS (incest and sexual abuse survivors).
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Forum rules
You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum. If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread.
Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums.
Thank you for your cooperation.
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by struggling621 » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:52 pm
My Dad sexually abused me when I was a child. There were many times when he would kiss my neck. I remember one time he drugged me, kissed my neck, performed oral sex on me, bent me over the bed, tied my hands behind my back, inserted a vibrator into my butt, video taped it, and told me he was going to make a lot of money and I wasn't going to get any of it. I became unconscious after that so he may have done more but I don't remember it. My mother heard me scream when he performed oral sex on me and banged on the door. He let her in, she grabbed his arm and said "you, you" in a shaking voice. He told her to leave the room, she did, and then he did the rest of the stuff to me. I believe she listened to him because he had verbally and physically abused her for over thirteen years and that messed her up in the head. My dad also whored me out to other men one time. All of this happened when I was around 8 years old.
I've been in denial about it most of my life (I had a couple flash backs but then went back into denial). When I came out about my sister molesting me my dad said "you're mad at her but you're fine with me" and gave a sick, twisted laugh. He then said "your entire body was shaking". I went into denial immediately. My mother once spoke with me about it and she said it was ok because he paid for me and my siblings to get braces (my mother basically whored me out to my dad and my dad whored me out to others). My mother's now in denial about it.
My mom and dad lived together and I had to move home because I'm in college and other reasons. I was in denial when I moved home so it wasn't an issue but then I remembered and it was extremely stressful for me. One night I was hot so I took my clothes off when I was sleeping. He must have heard me because I woke in the middle of the night and he was standing over me staring at my boobs. I told my sister he molested me as a child and she told my mom who told my dad. My family thinks I'm insane, hallucinated it, or and am an evil person for making up terrible lies. I'm not schizophrenic or anything. I've been to therapists and have had PTSD, anxiety, and depression. My dad called me and confessed he did it because he said he doesn't want me to think I'm crazy. My dad left the house because my parents want me to feel safe but will return after I graduate college (because I said I won't be able to deal with this and graduate at the same time). He still comes home randomly and unannounced and I feel too scared to leave my room.
I do not feel safe around him because he sounded so sick when he laughed about my body shaking and because he drugged me in the past so I'm scared he will drug me again. I'm not ready to heal from this I just really want my own apartment so I can get away from my family. I applied for a job an hour away from where I live and have plans to get an apartment with friend but that probably won't happen for a few months and my dad will move back next month. I need to get out of this house ASAP because the situation is driving me nuts. I have anxiety attacks and chest pain. My mom wants me to go to a therapist but I won't because I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone, and regardless of any privacy rules I've seen how information slips out of people when they're drunk and think they can trust someone. I'm planning on just sucking it up and dealing with it like how I have my entire life until I can get my own apartment.
I will not talk to anyone in my family about it because I can't stand how they imply they think I'm insane and make this stuff up. They said it didn't happen because I said they were around it and they don't remember it but that's because they're in denial. I told my mom what my dad gives head like and she cried and said he won't come back but now she's in denial again. My sister thinks I'm making this up and that I just know what my dad gives head like because one of my dad's ex girlfriends told me (that never happened). I'm fine with sucking it up until I move but fear that how my dad knows I came out and no one believes me will tell my dad he can do it and get away with it again. He drugged me in the past and I'm scared he'll drug and rape me again. I don't know what to do about this. I would report it to the police but I don't have any way of proving it so it'd probably make a big mess and then nothing would happen (just like with my family). I wish my sister never told my mom because now it's in the open but nothing's changed.
by whybother » Tue Jun 26, 2012 2:46 am
struggling621
Welcome to the forums,
If you family won't believe you, stop telling them. Tell the police, or a councillor instead. They will most definately take you seriously.
I would be very surprised if neither the police or councillor did not know of a safe haven where you could reside for a short while.
As for what people may say if/ when the knowledge of your abuse leaks out, I have to ask. Which is more important, your safety or people's opinion of your family ?
And if leaking your abuse saves one other child from going through the same, please don't be ashamed.
Instead scream...... LOOK AT WHAT I SURVIVED !
How can we, members, help ?
Allergic to affection
and don't believe in love
by WiseMonkey » Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:13 am
Hi struggling621,
After what you have been through your well-being should be your priority. I'd highly encourage you to see a counselor/therapist, who can help you deal with your struggle and validate your suffering. If it's too much for you to report your father/perpetrator to the police, then postpone it until you feel emotionally strong enough to do that. I understand that those cases are often difficult or virtually impossible to prove, and that's why the police often ends the investigation soon after starting it because of the lack of evidence and don't arrest the perpetrator. This usually adds to victims' trauma and is too much for them to deal with. So I do understand what makes you feel reluctant to report what happened to you to the authorities. But therapy is a different story. I can't imagine any therapist being not supportive of you when they hear your story. So, again, I think, seeing a professional is the first thing that I'd recommend you to do, and, of course, keep talking here.
WM
"Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."-Martin Luther King, Jr.
http://therapyconsumerguide.com/
by struggling621 » Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:42 am
Thank you for your support and believing me. I am going to go to the doctor to try and get anxiety medication because I'm concerned about the chest pain I've been experiencing. I will go to a therapist eventually but right now it's hard enough for me to finish my school work, graduate, and look for a job. Once I get settled into a new job and new apar
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