Sex In The Morning
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Sex In The Morning
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Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.
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It can give you the energy you need to tackle the day ahead.
We tend to think of sex as something that only happens at night, and granted, that's when numerous studies and surveys have found that people are most likely to get it on. (There's a reason we say we "slept with someone," and why nobody's out here saying, "Baby, I can last all afternoon.")
But even if you typically have sex at night, there are some real benefits to having sex in the morning that extend beyond "sex feels good, so let’s do it as much as humanly possible." If you’ve never hooked up before heading to work—or when you both wake up on the weekend—you might be missing out on various positive effects, including reduced stress and heightened productivity.
Want to learn more about the benefits of morning sex? We combed through a bunch of research and spoke to Maria Sophocles , M.D., FACOG, NCMP, a board-certified OB/GYN and the medical director of Women’s Healthcare of Princeton. Here's what you should know.
A recent study commissioned by Mattress Advisor (probably not the most scientific study ever conducted) surveyed 1,000 people who were in relationships and living with their partners. Sixty-three percent of women reported never having morning sex, compared to only 37% of men. (Gay and bi men were more likely to have sex in the morning, which partially explains the discrepant number between genders.)
In the study, more than half of the men—53%—said a morning romp made them more productive during the day. Makes sense, given that sex has been shown to boost your happiness at work . The number was slightly lower for women, with only 45% reporting being more productive. Of note, only 7% of men and 12% of women said morning sex made them less productive. (The rest reported that morning sex doesn’t make them any more or less productive.)
Guys on Reddit agreed. On a thread that asked men why they preferred morning sex, one user said, "It gets me out of bed…I feel like I can totally tackle the day and be productive if I get laid.” Another man replied: “You've awakened from sleep rested. You have a gorgeous woman next to you. Your natural testosterone levels are high. What better way to start your day?” He continued, “In contrast, at night you're tired and stressed and may look forward to rest and to unwind more so than work up a sweat and pleasing another person between the sheets.”
More on those higher testosterone levels shortly!
“Sex provides a release of endorphins, and we all know that endorphins are a feel-good hormone that creates feelings of relaxation and staves off anxiety and depression,” Sophocles says. “Those are big pluses for starting the day off on the right foot.”
Sex also releases oxytocin, a stress-relieving hormone that makes you feel more relaxed—not to mention more connected to your partner. (Oxytocin is also known as the "love hormone.") Sophocles says many of her patients report that morning sex "provides a real sense of closeness to their partner."
Sex feels better when you're super in the mood, right? Well, the morning is when your testosterone levels are highest , which means your sex drive is higher. (Higher T levels are why sex feels phenomenal after a workout , too.)
In a similar vein, cisgender guys often wake up with morning wood , which means morning sex can feel like a much-needed release.
It's possible that you might want to do it the morning after you read this, but your partner isn't in the mood; after all, mismatched sex drives are very common in relationships. Then there’s the issue of timing; you may typically have compatible sex drives, but one of you isn’t a morning person.
See if you and your partner can find a compromise—that's what relationships are all about, right? Split your sex sessions between morning and evening, so both parties get to capitalize on their respective "peak horniness" periods. You could also save your morning romps for the weekends when you don't have to wake up as early and nobody's stressed about getting to work on time.
If this issue is that your partner feels “gross” in the morning or is insecure about their morning breath or bed head, Sophocles suggests creating a “morning sex basket” that you keep by your bed.
“You can keep stuff in there that will help you feel fresh and in the mood—think about things like mouthwash or mints, face wipes, some gentle genital wipes to get that sweatiness from sleep off your parts,” she says. Sophocles adds that some vulva-owners wake up with vaginal dryness, so throw a bottle of lube in there, too.
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'I set my alarm for an unspontaneous 6.30am'
Thanks to less frequent commutes, getting down before you get up is, for many, no longer out of the question. So, can you score a new level of closeness from this type of daily grind?
Here, Molly Procter*, a working mum-of-three from Sussex, tries out having morning sex every day, for a week.
As a committed night owl, the idea of morning sex has never appealed to me. Things don’t normally heat up with my husband Jack until the evening, and I need as much time in bed in the mornings as I can get.
But between having three kids and a busy job, action – or lack thereof –in the bedroom has become a bit predictable. In a bid to reignite our once-roaring flame of desire, I set myself a challenge: I wanted us to have sex each morning for a week.
While this goal has roots in relationship-strengthening, the benefits don’t stop there. Sex at any hour is very good for you, with research linking it with an improved immune system and memory, among other things. But get down to it before dawn (okay, before the end of the Today programme) and the benefits keep on coming.
Engaging in pleasurable activities early taps into brain pathways that reduce levels of cortisol, setting you up for the day ahead. Plus, it’s when bodies – both male and female – are naturally primed for sex.
One study, published in the The Journal Of Sexual Medicine, linked men speaking AM testosterone levels with boosted erection strength. For women, oestrogen levels are at their highest then, too – meaning increased libido and genital sensitivity.
On Sunday night, I set my alarm for an unspontaneous 6.30am. After waking, I wore jack with some stroking that led, pleasingly, to intercourse – although our post-sex sense of serenity was cut short when I heard the kids spilling cereal.
'Our post-sex sense of serenity was cut short'
The following morning was similarly successful; I usually need lots of foreplay, but while I thought time not being on our side (to-do lists don’t do themselves and all that) would add to my stress, it actually had the opposite effect.
But our early success didn’t last. I stayed up late on Tuesday evening preparing for a big work meeting and, when I woke at 6.30am, I felt exhausted – and about as interested in intercourse doing a stand-up set. But I returned home to find that Jack had arranged for his mum to take the kids.
We ordered takeaway, watched Netflix and had great sex, and our impromptu date night was a welcome reminder of why I set myself this challenge in the first place: to feel closer to Jack. With hindsight, setting a daily sex target was a lofty one in the context of our busy lives. But it did help us to become more intentional and goal-driven with our sex life.
'Setting a daily sex target was a lofty one'
On Friday, our daughter had a nightmare and spent most of the night in our bed. But, on Saturday, we did something we never do: after dropping our kids at their various sports clubs, we sacked off the household chores and went back to bed.
Now that we know we can find the time to have sex several times a week, it’s giving us something to aim for: not for the sake of meeting metrics, but for the sake of staying connected.
Rather than becoming just another chore – as I feared it might – sex became something to look forward to; and it genuinely made us feel more connected during a week when our minds might otherwise have been elsewhere.
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
Contributing Sex & Relationships Editor
Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.
Wendie Trubow is a functional medicine gynecologist with almost 10 years of training in the field. She received her M.D. from Tufts University.
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Many people tend to imagine their best sex happening late at night in a dark and romantic environment. But there are some scientific reasons morning sex might be better than night sex—at least for some people.
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There's no one best time of day to have sex that applies to everyone. Compared to night sex, morning sex is better for some people and worse for others. But physiologically speaking, it might be generally better to have sex in the morning because many people's bodies have higher levels of testosterone and estrogen, two hormones that influence sexual desire , at the start of the day. That means you may be more in the mood and potentially able to have more satisfying sex in the morning.
"You might just have an easier time getting aroused in the morning than you do at night, thanks to your hormones," AASECT-certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, M.A. , tells mbg .
Testosterone levels in men replenish overnight and thus tend to be at their highest in the morning and at their lowest at night. "Their hormonal pattern follows the circadian rhythm," Alisa Vitti, hormone expert, founder of The FLO Living Hormone Center , and author of In the Flo , tells mbg. "While they sleep, they make all of their testosterone for the next day, and they have the highest blood serum concentration of that hormone upon waking, in addition to the boost of cortisol they get. The combination is very motivating for activities of the physical nature, whether that be sex or a workout."
Testosterone plays a key role in sexual functioning for men, helping with both getting erections and feeling motivated to have sex. For those with penises, Zimmerman says the elevated testosterone levels in the morning can thus give you an increased libido, improved arousal, and a better erection.
Similarly, estrogen is associated with female sexual desire , and those hormones also tend to be higher in the morning, according to Zimmerman. Furthermore, morning wood isn't just for penises—people with vulvas also experience increases in blood flow to the vagina during REM sleep , as well as vaginal swelling and lubrication . That means they may be as likely to wake up with their bodies already primed for sex. And more blood flow to the clitoris and lubrication around the vagina can mean more sensitivity and pleasure.
Women with menstrual cycles don't follow the circadian rhythm, Vitti points out—their bodies and hormonal patterns follow a roughly monthly infradian rhythm , aka their menstrual cycle. This infradian rhythm "impacts their sex drive, their resting cortisol levels, and mood—all of which play a role in sexual readiness and interest," she explains. That means time of day matters less for these women—it's more about what time of the month it is.
People with menstrual cycles will be more interested in sex in the first half of their cycle (the follicular and ovulatory phases), Vitti explains, when resting levels of cortisol and metabolism are lower (offering more stable mood) and levels of estrogen and testosterone are increasing (boosting sexual desire). During this time, "you'll be interested in this any time of the day, as this hormonal pattern is consistent for many days and is not on a 24-hour timer," Vitti points out. "It will really just depend on when you feel relaxed and unburdened enough of your mental to-do list to get in your body to enjoy the experience."
In the second half of the cycle (the luteal and menstrual phases), the body has higher resting levels of cortisol and decreasing levels of estrogen and testosterone, according to Vitti. This can increase anxiety and lower sexual desire.
"However, you also have the introduction of progesterone, which is a very relaxing hormone, and so if you are hormonally balanced (aka no PMS) this can be a phase of time when sex and experiencing foreplay is extra pleasurable," she explains. "Finally, due to the increase in volume of the uterus during the menstrual week, the internal pressure on your genital organs can make you interested in sex and for it to be very pleasurable."
Another reason morning sex can potentially be better than sex at night? Energy. You're right at the start of your day and at the start of your energy tank, meaning you might be more alert and able to engage in sex.
"The benefit of having sex in the morning is that it might be easier to be present and focus on what's happening in the moment," AASECT-certified sex therapist Lauren Fogel Mersy, PsyD , tells mbg. "When we're tired, we might be more easily distracted."
Many people get to the end of the day feeling exhausted and perhaps touched out, meaning they're not wanting any more touch or stimulation. It may take more effort to get back into the right mindset to engage in sex. "Many people leave sex to the end of the day when they have nothing left in the tank," Zimmerman notes. "That exhaustion and fatigue can lead to neglect and avoidance in your sex life. Having sex in the morning allows you to tap into a fresh fuel tank."
Fogel Mersy also notes that end-of-day sex may be less conducive to creativity, compared to morning sex: "Having a bit more energy or feeling more rested might also lead to trying different things together versus maybe falling into habits or routine when we feel more tired."
There are also many other reasons some people might prefer to have sex at night instead of having sex in the morning. Mornings can feel like a hectic time for many people, when your mind gets flooded thinking about all the things that need to get done that day and when there tends to be a lot of rushing to get out the door. Stress can make it harder to get aroused , so if your mornings tend to be stressful, they may not be the best time to be trying to squeeze in a romp in the sack.
Evenings, on the other hand, may be when you've completed all your tasks for the day and feel more able to relax, which might make it easier to enjoy sex.
Some people may also be more self-conscious having sex in the morning because there's more light, less makeup, and potentially bad breath and body odors. Poor body image can actually hurt sexual functioning , including making it harder to get aroused, get wet, and have orgasms. So if you tend to get really in your head about how your partner perceives you during sex, and having sex in the morning exacerbates that, morning sex may not necessarily be as beneficial.
The best time of day to have sex will vary from person to person and from couple to couple. While elevated hormones might make sex better in the morning for many (particularly men), people with menstrual cycles are much more influenced by time of month than time of day. Moreover, psychological factors like stress and self-consciousness can also come into play and offset some of the benefits of morning sex.
Morning sex is definitely worth exploring if it suits you—the boost of chemicals like oxytocin and dopamine released during sex can help you start your day feeling good, and it can help if you're looking for an extra kick in your erections. But otherwise, you're not missing too much if you prefer to bonk it out after the sun goes
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