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“Psst. Grog. That shit never works. Must show her you can hunt or make fire or something.”
“Well, your STD panel came back. Turns out what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas.”
Downloading personal items on the company laptop.
“Wow… I didn’t know there was an app for that.”
“Huh. I just got this sudden, uncontrollable urge to invent spoken language.”
“You are hereby awarded full custody, as well as sole ownership of the house, including that bedroom nightstand I really like.”
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By Steve Foxe & the Paste Comics Crew | February 14, 2019 | 11:30am
This is Explicitly NSFW and Contains Imagery That Your Parents Probably Won’t Want You to Look at Ever , So If It Gets You Fired/Grounded, We Warned You. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Also, you don’t have déjà vu —this article first appeared in 2017, and we’re bringing it back for the holiday. Hope your refractory period has passed.
The comic medium has a special advantage in depicting the myriad layers of human intimacy. Unlike prose, artists can shape and exaggerate the contours of the human body for visceral interpretations. Unlike film, illustration can assume a fantasy and objectivity that the human gaze wouldn’t afford two human actors. European erotica pioneers like Milo Manara, Guido Crepax and Jean-Claude Forest fully embraced that fact throughout the ‘70s and ‘80s, but American mainstream publishers have been slightly more reticent to dive down the rabbit hole. Credit to the underground comix scene bolstered by Robert Crumb and anthologies like Tits & Clits , not to mention slightly more…direct works like Reed Waller and Kate Worley’s Omaha The Cat Dancer for breaking down the boundaries of sexual expression in sequential art.
But damn if the last 15 years of comics haven’t ushered a new comics sex revolution, elevated past the cis male perception to address gay, lesbian and trans perspectives. A dozen features alone could dissect the work of C. Spike Trotman’s Smut Puddler anthologies, Erika Moen’s Oh Joy Sex Toy or Collen Coover and Paul Tobin’s Small Favors . A strong argument could be made that no medium has made bigger strides to democratize eroticism in all of its sticky forms. It’s love, it’s connection, it’s lust and the eternal dance of biology seeped through ink and passion.
The list above analyzes comics’ high-water marks, the biggest, boldest moments (with a few indie gems) that proved how versatile and progressive comics can be when they dive under the covers.
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Updated June 14, 2019 6.6k votes 2.5k voters 179.9k views
Vote up the sex scenes that took you by surprise.
The Green Goblin Pumpkin Bombs Gwen Stacy
Aunt May's A Widow In The Streets And A Freak In The Sheets
Colossus' Savage Savage Land Three Way
No matter how long you’ve been reading funny books, it always takes you by surprise to find sex in comics. Even if you’re not a square comic books are the one place you never think of as containing explicit sex scenes, but there’s a lot more of them out there than you would guess. Like a whole lot more. As much as you think you can relegate surprising comics hookups to indie fare like Black Hole or Blankets , there’s actually a lot of sex being had in mainstream titles. Indeed, there was a lot of weird comics sex happening in the '80s for some reason (that reason is 100% Alan Moore). If you’re having trouble thinking of any comic book sex scenes then make sure your parents are out of the room because it’s about to get steamy all up in your computer.
More so than any other medium, comic books are able to convey a multitude of emotions with their sex scenes. Whether they’re trying to bring two characters together in a meaningful way, have something silly happen, or just show a couple of impossibly built, Spandex-clad characters blow (heh) off some steam – comics can accomplish all of those things, and occasionally all of them at the same time. The comic book sex scenes that you’re about to see range from emotionless bang sesh’s penned by Frank Miller to some of the most pathos filled panels that have ever been created. Just try to keep it in your pants while you read along.
Well, this is just a big bowl of yikes. Sins Past , from 2004, is one of those story arcs that makes you wish you could forget the whole thing happened. For some reason, writer J. Michael Straczynski thought it would be great if he revealed that Gwen Stacy had cheated on Peter Parker with the Green Goblin (Norman Osborn). Not only did that crazy train leave the station, but she was also pregnant with twins who grew up to fight Spider-Man.
Anyway, the nightmare of a sex scene comes after MJ tearfully recounts how Gwen swore her to secrecy and that she only found out because she overheard Stacy and Osborn arguing about the custody of the children while they were taking care of Harry after he "overdosed on LSD."
Believe it or not, it's really hard to explain a Dr. Strange storyline from the '70s in which he and Clea (his helper/lover/wife/daughter of Dormammu) travel back to 1775 and she ends up having sex with Ben Franklin. Basically, the two of them travel back in time to study the history of the occult and wind up bumping into Franklin. Cool. Fine. No big deal.
But while Strange is off doing Dr. Strange stuff, Franklin puts the moves on Clea and they bone. That happens. When Dr. Strange returns, Franklin says that he's now engaged to Clea - which would be crazy if not for the very next piece of information - it's not actually Ben Franklin that boned his paramour. It's really Strange's nemesis Stygryo, who was pretending to be Franklin to mess with Clea. Can't wait for that storyline to make it into Dr. Strange 2: Everyone Gets Their Money Back .
In Amazing Spider-Man #592 Peter Parker has just returned from an alternate dimension where he was helping the Fantastic Four do something sciencey. Let's say they were fighting King Nebulon. Unfortunately, a few hours in an alternate dimension equals two months in Parker's world, so he's a little out of the loop when it comes to his Aunt's lovelife.
After learning that J. Jonah Jameson has been elected Mayor of New York City, Spidey kicks his do-goodery into overdrive to drive the newspaper magnate crazy, but the moment he decides to take a break at Aunt May's and grab a shower he discovers his sweet Auntie getting dirty with Jameson's father. It looks like both Parkers are trying to stick it to a Jameson and get stuck by one, respectively.
After crash landing in the Savage Land , the X-Men run into a whole heap of new experiences. Notably, Colossus loses his virginity to two pink women with mohawks. Bruh.
In a comic that's mostly Wolverine fighting Sauron while Storm lies around in a bikini, the last thing the readers expect is for a pair of Savage Land babes to deflower a young Russian metal man.
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