Sex In A Victorian Dress

Sex In A Victorian Dress
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The popular image of the Victorians is one of buttoned up social manners and table legs covered in cloths (in case the menfolk became overexcited).
But there was far more lurking under the surface of Victorian society than the history books would have you think.
For a culture that was so strong on ‘good morals’, the Victorians were very interested in what people got up to in private.
Here are just a few things you should know about sex during the era.
Victorian attempts to quash sexual urges were in some ways simply practical.
Syphilis was seemingly everywhere in the mid 1800s – not only was it disfiguring, it could affect your mental health and also be passed down to your children (and there was no cure).
Although condoms did exist, they weren’t encouraged as they would be today.
Back then, STIs were often seen as ‘punishment’ for loose morals .
The Goodyear factory began producing rubber condoms in 1855 , but most were still made from animal intestine, which was prone to tearing.
Given that solo sex is generally safe sex, you’d think the Victorians would be all for it.
But the array of devices designed to prevent the dreaded ‘nocturnal emissions’ (aka ‘ spermatorrhoea ’) is quite mind-boggling.
Treatment of female masturbation could be even more severe.
Isaac Baker-Brown, a former president of the Medical Society of London believed clitoridectomy to be a sure-fire way of removing women’s sexual urges.
Known as ‘the great social evil’, prostitution was rife in Victorian cities (and achieved terrible notoriety in London with the attacks by Jack the Ripper in 1888).
According to Workhouse Tales by Lesley Hulonce:
Poor women in the nineteenth century had few career options and most were unpleasant.
Some women used their only saleable commodity to avoid starvation and many women became prostitutes because of alcoholism or despair.
Some women actively chose prostitution as a profession and later went on to marry and lead ‘normal’ lives.
Prime Minister Gladstone was renowned for his attempts to ‘save’ prostitutes, although his motives were questioned by his parliamentary colleague Henry Labouchere.
In The Worm In The Bud , Ronald Pearsall wrote:
Gladstone manages to combine his missionary meddling with a keen appreciation of a pretty face.
He has never been known to rescue any of our East End whores, nor for that matter is it easy to contemplate his rescuing any ugly woman.
Sex toys in the form of carved dildos have been around since the dawn of time, but in the 19th century sexuality began to be medicalised.
Hysteria – what these days would be described as sexual frustration – was seen as a genuine affliction that women needed curing of.
It’s unlikely that doctors manually satisfied their female patients, as often claimed, but some interesting vibrators certainly existed.
Some Victorian women were also lucky enough to own a handcrafted ‘ladies companion’, such as this one recently auctioned in Ireland .
It is often said that the Victorians were so prudish that even table legs could be found offensive – all those long hard lengths and sexy curves, how shocking.
Disappointingly, this is almost certainly untrue – the myth is likely to have started when a joke was played on English traveller Frederick Marryat during a visit to America in 1837.
Historian Tony Perrottet wrote in The Smart Set :
Marryat visited a seminary for young ladies in Niagara Falls, where he was astonished to discover the piano legs sheathed in ‘modest little trousers’.
These covers, a local guide confided, were necessary to preserve the ‘utmost purity of ideas’ amongst the impressionable young girls.
On another occasion, a Yankee girl told Marryat that even saying the word leg was considered too risque in America; ‘limb’ was preferred at a pinch.
Captain Marryat dutifully recorded these factoids in A Diary In America.
There are no other records of this conservative New York habit; possibly the piano legs were really covered at the seminary to keep off dust.
Prank or not, Marryat’s tale, recounted in his book Diary In America , was quite probably believed and acted upon by smart households back in Britain who didn’t want to appear to be behind the times.
The outwardly dour monarch was obsessively in love with her consort, Albert, and wrote this diary entry about their wedding night:
It was a gratifying and bewildering experience. I never, never spent such an evening.
His excessive love and affection gave me feelings of heavenly love and happiness.
He clasped me in his arms and we kissed each other again and again.
In contrast to the general beliefs of the time, Victoria was overwhelmingly in favour of physical affection, so long as it was between her and her beloved Albert.
Indeed, some have gone so far as to describe her as a nymphomaniac, wearing out her husband with her eagerness.
Victoria commissioned artist Franz Xaver Winterhalter to paint her portrait in a manner, which was seen as alarmingly intimate for the time.
Now known as ‘ The Secret Picture ’, this portrait was an early equivalent of sending sexy phone pics.
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Or maybe he did? No one can be sure.
There are many tales of men having a ‘dressing ring’ fitted in order to keep themselves tucked away in fashionably tight trousers.
Dressing rings certainly existed – they are the reason old-fashioned tailors would ask which way a gentleman ‘dressed’ when fitting him for trousers – but only became known as a ‘Prince Albert’ in the 1970’s, courtesy of Doug Malloy’s inventive pamphlet, Body Piercing in Brief .
The future Edward VII, known as Bertie to his family, was so debauched in his behaviour that his father, Prince Albert, reported informed him , ‘I knew that you were thoughtless and weak – but I could not think you depraved’.
Albert left his sickbed to visit Bertie after hearing tales of his consorting with actress Nellie Clifden while at camp with the Grenadier Guards in the Curragh, Ireland.
During the trip, Albert caught a chill, which may have hastened his death – the official cause of death was typhoid, but Victoria blamed Bertie for causing him stress.
She later said of her errant son , ‘I never can, or shall, look at him without a shudder.’
Victoria would no doubt have been all the more appalled had she been aware of some of Bertie’s other activities.
Not only did he continue to dally with women even after his marriage to Princess Alexandra (to the extent that a box was set aside for his mistresses at his coronation), he was renowned for commissioning a chair specifically for his sexual encounters, which he kept at his favourite brothel, Le Chabanais.
The Autobiography Of A Flea was an anonymous erotic novel first published in 1887 (its author was later named as London lawyer Stanislas de Rhodes).
The story is told from the point of view of a flea who witnesses the seduction and exploitation of a beautiful young girl called Bella.
Holywell Street in central London was described by The Times newspaper at the time as ‘the the most vile street in the civilised world’ and was a centre for pornography long before Soho developed its own reputation.
The Obscene Publications Act of 1857 was intended to drive out this illegal trade but it simply drove it further underground, with booksellers working under fake names to avoid detection.
Of a typical day on Holywell Street, there would have been swarms of men — sometimes women too — hovering outside certain shop windows and occasionally vanishing inside to sink their teeth into the forbidden fruit of Victorian London.
Suggestive title pages and obscene engravings in the window were indicative of a pornographic presence within.
A mid-century Daily Telegraph article decried members of the weaker sex ‘furtively peeping in at these sin-crammed shop windows, timorously gloating over suggestive title-pages, guiltily bending over engravings as vile in execution as they are in subject’.
My favourite Victorian comment on sex is from one Elspeth Marr, aka Aunt Epp .
There appears to be some debate as to whether she even existed, but with opinions like this, I for one hope she did.
In Aunt Epp’s Guide For Life, she wrote:
Sex is like bread. What would life be without it? A dull business indeed.

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Published September 15, 2014 12:00AM (EDT)

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This article originally appeared on AlterNet .
Dispensing inaccurate and terrible sex advice is a notion that’s as American as Kellogg’s cornflakes (which was invented to thwart masturbation, as we will soon discuss). From the idea that “trotting a horse” prevented pregnancy to the belief that wind patterns during conception affected your offspring’s temperament, the Victorian Era’s tracts, texts, and common wisdoms were rife with laughable gender roles and sexual expectations. Below are some of our favorite tidbits on “conjugal passions.”
In 2012, Missouri Senate candidate and Republican Todd Akin told a television station that women can’t get pregnant from “legitimate rape” because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” We wonder if Akin got this absurd notion from brushing up on medical tracts from the ‘50s -- the 1850s, that is. French physiologist Eugene Becklard, M.D., wrote a sex book for the masses, with a title as hard to swallow as the advice itself. “ Becklard’s Physiology : Physiological mysteries and revelations in love, courtship and marriage: an infallible guide-book for married and single persons, in matters of the utmost importance to the human race.”
In the book, Becklard states: “The mouth of the uterus, be it known, is very narrow, so narrow in fact, that the fecundating principle would not enter it, but that it craves it, and inhales it by real suction — a proof, by the way, that a rape can never be productive of real offspring.”
The uterus: storing fetuses and sucking out rape since 1850!
Becklard also believed that, when trying to conceive, the child would turn out more like whoever had the best orgasm. “[T]he party whose temperament predominates in the child was in the highest state of orgasm at the period of intercourse.”
3. Dancing and horse trotting to thwart pregnancy
If one is trying not to beget a child, Becklard advised that, immediately after the conjugal act has occurred, “dancing about the room before repose, for a few minutes, might probably have that effect.” This is, of course, contrary to logic (and to the plot of Dirty Dancing, which is where we get all of our sex advice).
But if you really don’t want to get knocked up, “trotting a horse briskly over a rough road on the following day would ensure it.” He also noted that “strong victuals” and “spirits that promote thirst” are also “great enemies to reproduction.”
4. Masturbation will stunt your growth and make you crazy
“Solitary practices,” as masturbation was called (also the “solitary vice” and “onanism”) were discouraged because “they arrest the growth of stature” and “stop the growth of the organs, and the development of the various functions … and produce an artificial ripeness which must soon wither and dry up.”
But doctor, will I also become impotent? “Indeed, the confirmed onanist becomes incapable of consummating the rights of marriage.”
5. Prevent the “solitary vice” by eating bland foods
J.H. Kellogg, of Kellogg’s Cornflakes, created his famously bland food brand in order to help stave off masturbation in men. According to The Victorian Guide to Sex: Desire and Deviance in the 19th Century by Fern Riddell, Kellogg believed a tasteless diet quelled sexual appetites, and that the following should be avoided: mustard, pepper, rich gravy, beer, wine, cider and tobacco.
6. Need more tips on masturbation prevention?
Aside from eating cornflakes, another book titled Sexual Health: A Plain and Practical Guide for the People on All Matters Concerning the Organs of Reproduction in Both Sexes and All Ages by Henry Hanchett , encouraged parents “to run their children around throughout the day in wild play so the children would be too tired to masturbate before bed.” Female children weren’t much of a concern, as they were believed to have a “low, almost nonexistent sex drive, so only truly deranged females would succumb to the temptations of masturbation.”
Hanchett, despite succumbing to the common beliefs over masturbation’s evils, was one of the more progressive advice givers of his day. For instance, he believed people should have access to sexual knowledge and that we shouldn’t have bodily shame. “[I]t is no shame to have organs which can house and nurture a budding human life,” he wrote. But he also advised women not to get carried away, as “flirtatious women cause men to visit brothels for ‘relief,’ which only adds to the spread of disease.”
8. If you can’t come at the same instant as your partner, you are a failure
One of the few “ rights ” granted to Victorian wives was the ability to refuse sex if their husband could not achieve “mutual adjustment,” that is “the orgasm of the woman and the ejaculation of semen of the man in the same instant.”
9. Have sex with your husband as little as possible
But really, you should seldom be boning your husband, at least according to Ruth Smythers , who authored “INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God” in 1894.
Smythers writes that brides should: “GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.”
To aid in this feat, Smythers recommends: “Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches [which] are among the wife's best friends in this matter.” If that doesn’t work, “Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.”
10. “Commence seduction” in complete darkness
“Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness,” added Smythers. Is this for modesty reasons?
“When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access.”
When he asks you about the random bear traps you’ve placed on the bed, feign surprise, then accuse him of masturbating in his youth as the reason he can’t consummate the marriage.
Men, too, were advised to have sex in the dark, but only so they wouldn’t have to look at their “ugly” wives, according to Aristotle’s Masterpiece , which was, as you can probably guess, neither a masterpiece nor written by Aristotle: “[I]f she is ugly, the advice is: do it in the dark.”
11. Does your husband want to kiss you? Plan your escape
Here’s good ol’ Ruth again: “If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet.”
That’s all well and good in the moment, Ruth, but how can I get my husband to stop wanting sex for the rest of our lives?
“As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encou
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