Sex In A Shower

Sex In A Shower

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Plus, the best toys to elevate your experience
Sure, having sex in bed is fun, but have you ever tried adding water into the mix? If your love life needs a shake up or you simply feel like turning up the heat, beckoning your partner into the shower is a sure-fire way to get the juices flowing.
‘There’s a sense of urgency [to having sex] in the shower that you simply can’t get from your mattress,’ says Julia Margo from Hot Octopuss . 'And there’s something naturally sexy about cascading water. Plus, how often do you get to see the person you fancy getting naked and wet in a steamy little room?'
That said, anything involving water is a risky game and could easily result in a slipped disc. Keep scrolling for expert tips on how to (safely) make the most of your bath time fun.
Even if you have a big enough shower to accommodate aqua aerobics, it's still worth getting started in the bathroom and taking it to the bedroom for the main event. ‘Avoid the temptation to go straight for the end goal,’ says Michael Charmin , relationship coach and author of Amplify Your Orgasm . ‘Rather, play!'
Use the tools at your disposal and get soaped up as part of foreplay. Not only is soap an excellent massage lubricant, you'll get clean in the process.' Focus on finding out about your partner’s body responses,' suggests Charmin. 'Lather each other with water and soap – first the front, then the back. Take your time and stay present in the moment, enjoying each step. It shouldn’t be all about penetration and orgasm.’
Watch out for water-based hurdles. With standing positions, slipping or falling are always going to be a risk when you’re wet, so get prepared. ‘Invest in a non-slip shower mat to avoid any injurious mishaps,’ advises Charming.
They might have a similar consistency, but water, body fluids and lubrication were not created equal, so once you've finished with the soap, grab the lube . If you shirk on the latter you’re going to struggle with friction and may have to abort your sex mission. So, invest in a good quality lube and apply it liberally before, during and after you hit the water. Read our lowdown on the best lubes to find the one that fits.
There are tons of watertight gadgets on the market designed with shower sex in mind. But cock rings are particularly effective if you're pushed for space. They're designed to stimulate the clit during penetrative sex, so, if you're having sex with someone with a penis, you can slip one onto their member to minimise watery thrusting. We're big fans of this Vibrating Waterproof Cock Ring , or treat your lover to a Pulse Duo for hands-free orgasms underwater.
Once you hit the shower, safety is essential in more ways than one. ‘Condoms can break easily due to water, so always put the condom on when the penis is dry,’ advises Charmin. ‘Oil-based lubricants and even chlorine and other additives present in water can break condoms, so be mindful of that.’
If you struggle to achieve penetrative sex in the shower, don't lose hope. Water can be chafing at the best of times. Instead focus on touching each other under the shower stream. Try this Aqua Pleasure Water Clitoral Stimulator to set the pace. Or pop this classic Happy Rabbit Vibe into your shopping cart for waterproof orgasmic bliss. Rub and stroke one another until you're ready to bubble over, then take it to the bedroom (or the bath mat if you're in a rush) for the grand finale.
While a cold shower is probably not on the agenda, be mindful of water temperature. ‘Hot is good when it comes to sex, but if you get too hot in the shower your muscles can go lax, making you less stable in your positions,’ says Margo. ‘So, while you’re dialling up the heat, remember to keep the actual temperature a little cooler.’
Dropping to your knees beneath the shower stream to orally pleasure your lover might seem like a good idea in the moment, but choking on a face full of running water could kill the mood. Experiment with different positions until you find the one that fits. ‘It goes without saying that you shouldn’t end up in a position that feels great for your partner but feels scary for you,’ says Margo.
Into double penetration, anal sex, pegging, or simply flying solo? A Shower Stud is a waterproof vibrating dildo that comes with a suction cup base. Simply stick it to the shower wall to really get the party started.
Sex is supposed to be messy! So, don’t let a few slippery stumbles sabotage your shower session. ‘There will be slip-ups and fall-downs, there will be positions that you just can’t make work, and there will be times when water goes up your nose and you have to ugly-cough to get it out,’ says Margo. ‘Experimenting to find your shower sex sweet spot is all part of the fun.’
The following sexual positions are suited to water or work well in tight spaces.
For this position, bend over so there’s a 90-degree angle at your hips. 'You can stabilise yourself by pressing your hands into the wall while your partner penetrates you from behind,' says Margo. 'They’ll also get a nice warm back massage from the shower water while they’re behind you.'
Try pressing yourself against the shower wall. 'The edge of the bathtub is perfect for putting a foot on, giving your partner easy access for hand sex,' suggests Margo.
While it's a risky game, doggy style can work really well in the bathroom. Just make sure you both have a firm footing and no one's face is stuck under the shower stream.
With a bit of planning you can still enjoy oral sex in the shower. 'Fold up a towel and put it below your knees for this one,' says Margo. 'Your partner will stand opposite the shower head while you kneel in front of them and give him or her oral sex. The warm shower water will be a treat for your back while you do this. A shower stool can be used to ease up pressure on the knees.'

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Isadora Baum is a freelance writer, certified health coach, and author of 5-Minute Energy .

Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, and culture. He was formerly the digital associate editor at OUT Magazine and currently has a queer cannabis column, Puff Puff YASS, at Civilized.

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Ah, shower sex. It looks great in movies, but in real life, it can be slippery, dangerous, uncomfortable, and all-around hard to actually pull off. Still, if you and your partner have a strong desire to move from the bedroom to the bathroom, there are ways to make it happen. You can figure out how to do shower sex the right way, where you both can happily get off.
We’re here to help. We’ve provided the best sex tips for doing it in the shower, so you can make your next attempt at shower sex hot as hell—and we don't just mean the water temperature.
Here, real men who love having sex in the shower share their shower sex advice and pro tips for making it smooth, orgasmic, and completely doable.
“Even if she’s incredibly turned on and already wet, the additional water can kinda mess with that. It’s just too much water. That’s why you want to use silicone-lube while in the shower. Water-based lubes will wash away immediately. But silicone is thicker, more likely to stay, and can help when you actually penetrate.” —Joe*
“If you have a bench in the shower, use it, because it gives balance and makes you more stable so you don’t slip and fall in the shower. Plus, you can do more moves when using the bench—like you can do reverse cowgirl [or] just her on top, [or] doggy, and she can hold the bench.” —Ryan*
“You need friction when you have sex, and when you have all that water sloshing around your dick and her vagina, you can’t actually get that friction. So I usually position myself that the water is coming down on my back or my girlfriend’s [back]. This also helps with not getting water in either of our faces, which is a real mood killer.” — Simon*
“Sometimes my GF will bring toys into the shower with us, like different vibrators and rings and stuff for more sensations there. The vibrating with the shower head is another thing you can do instead of toys for her.” —Devin
Tip: Make sure your toys are waterproof before you take them in the shower.
“I was having shower sex with my girlfriend for the first time and we wanted to do really intense stuff like in a bedroom—but DON’T, because it’s really different and not safe. Like, don’t do things where you hold her up, [or] stuff where no one is hanging onto a bench or wall or something stable on the floor of the tub. We ended up slipping—no one got [seriously] hurt, which was lucky, but it wasn’t good and left a bruise on her butt!” —Dave*
“Shower sex can be hot and steamy and you get a good whole view of naked bodies, so take it in! When I have shower sex, I look around everywhere and feel like a lucky, lucky man for having this girl with me.” —John
“[It's] not the time to go rough and do more kinky stuff . Save that for the bed where you have more stability and can move around more freely without worrying about falling and breaking all your bones!” —Seth*
“Shower sex can be a good way to have sex when it’s that time, and it doesn’t leave blood everywhere or on our bodies, which is nice.” —Gabe*
“Just because you started in the shower doesn’t mean you have to finish there. My girlfriend and I do more foreplay in the shower, like I finger her and stuff. We makeout. She jacks me off. But when we actually start getting to fucking, we quickly dry ourselves off and head to the bedroom.” —Stephen*
*Some names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on sensitive topics.

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Maressa Brown is a journalist and astrologer who's a regular lifestyle contributor and resident astrologer for InStyle. She has nearly two decades of professional experience writing, reporting, and editing lifestyle content for a variety of digital and print consumer-facing publications including Parents, Shape, Astrology.com, and more. She is currently based in Los Angeles and completing her first title with Artisan Books to be published in early 2023.

There are certainly many reasons people generally have sex in bed. It's comfortable, and it's the most convenient way to follow up your romp with snuggling or sleep. But sticking to the same ol' routine for too long can result in a snoozefest. Thankfully, taking your routine out of the bedroom could make for even more pleasure — and, in the case of shower sex, a seriously steamy time.

"Shower sex can be pretty hot and passionate, movie-like even sometimes," says Zhana Vrangalova , Ph.D., New York University professor of Human Sexuality and a sexpert for LELO. "It shows raw desire for each other and brings a level of novelty in a relationship, providing a nice break from the routine of the bedroom as most people's go-to location for sex. Seeing each other naked and wet can be quite arousing too, and the hot water can feel soothing and relaxing."

Jess O'Reilly, Ph.D., Astroglide 's Resident Sexologist, agrees, adding, "Any change of location can heighten awareness and sensitivity. And the texture and temperature of the water can awaken nerve endings across the entire body to promote full-body sensations of pleasure."

As sexy as that might sound, it's natural to find yourself feeling intimidated about how to have shower sex comfortably. Here, expert-approved tips and shower sex positions to get it on while soaping up.

One of your biggest concerns about shower sex could very well be losing your balance, slipping, and falling — something that can happen to even the most limber of us even when you're not trying to get it on in a narrow, wet space.

"It's not always as smooth as in the movies, it certainly has its challenges," says Vrangalova. "People can slip and fall, the number of positions is more limited, water is not a lubricant so penetration can be uncomfortable and painful, soap can get into your mouth, etc. That said, with some prep and care, all of these potential drawbacks can be minimized or worked around, so it's really worth taking a shot."

To maximize your chances of minimizing these bumps in the road, O'Reilly as well as Amy Baldwin, sex educator, sex and relationship coach, and co-host of the Shameless Sex Podcast and Kristine D'Angelo , a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach, offer a few simple dos and don'ts.

This is an option that works well for anyone who's just beginning to dip their toe into shower play, as it can be easier to switch up your position in the moment and to find a more comfortable position.

"If you're giving oral to a person with a penis, have them stand with their back against the wall and get down on your knees," suggests O'Reilly. "If you're under the flow of water, make sure you have space to breathe."

You might also sit on the edge of a bathtub facing your standing partner, says D'Angelo. "This gives you the perfect height to give them oral pleasure," she notes.

And if you're receiving oral as a person with a vagina , stand upright and place one foot up on the side of the tub or on a shower stool, says O'Reilly. "Have your partner sit or kneel beneath you," she notes.

If your shower has a tub, you can take advantage of it by having the penetrating partner lie down in the tub while the receiving partner hops on top, says D'Angelo. "While the water rains down, you can either face your partner or away," she notes.

This can be made even more comfortable if you have a seat-shelf or bench in the shower, says Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist with SexualAlpha . "While pumping up and down, play with your clit or nipples or guide your partner's hands on your erogenous zones for added pleasure," she notes.

This is an "amazing" move that might also appeal especially to beginners, says D'Angelo. "You can do this standing facing each other or with one person seated and your partner standing over you," she notes. "It's fun to watch your partner touch themselves."

And if you want to bust out a toy, Moore recommends considering the LELO Gigi 2 G-spot vibrator . "The flattened tip hits the G-spot well," she notes. "It also doubles as a clitoral massager when you hold it upside down."

Vrangalova says this is the most common shower sex position and one of her favorites. The receiving partner faces the shower wall with their hands pressed against it while the other then penetrates from behind with their penis, toys, or fingers.

She adds that this position is also great for rimming (aka analingus), which some people might avoid elsewhere due to cleanliness concerns but might be more up for trying in the shower.

Turn the previously mentioned position around, and you have this one, which is basically missionary standing up. Vrangalova advises the receiving partner to lift one leg — or place it on a footstool, shower chair, or bench seat — so the other can then enter while facing them.

Although it might get passed off as vanilla , this is the second most common shower sex position, according to Vrangalova, which is no surprise because having sex face-to-face boosts intimacy and allows for lots of kissing and touching.

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