Sex Guys Love
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Sex Guys Love
5 Guys Confess the Thing They Love MOST About Sex
As I mentioned yesterday, one of the most elucidating experiences of being your boy blogger has been learning how different sex is for everyone . With this in mind, as well as the fact that my dude friends are almost rid of my annoying questions, I thought I'd let them go out with a bang. I asked them the question that not only underscores the above point, but might give you readers a glimpse into what many women really want to hear: what is the thing you love about sex the most? Look away shy readers, I told the guys not to hold back.
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As I mentioned yesterday , one of the most elucidating experiences of being your boy blogger has been learning how different sex is for everyone . With this in mind, as well as the fact that my dude friends are almost rid of my annoying questions, I thought I'd let them go out with a bang. I asked them the question that not only underscores the above point, but might give you readers a glimpse into what many women really want to hear: what is the thing you love about sex the most? Look away shy readers, I told the guys not to hold back.
"I love it when I first enter her. Enter her.' That sounds so weird. Whatever. When my penis first goes inside her. That is the very best moment of sex for me. It's like This is really happening'. The feeling for me is unmatched, but it's also about her facial expressions, and noises. I makes me so turned on that this is as big a deal for her as it is for me."
"That's easy. When I'm going down on her and she comes. There is something magical in that moment. Actually, it's the moment right before, when she's about to lose it, and she's making all kinds of ungodly noises, and her hips are bucking, and I almost have to hold her ass in place to keep doing what I'm doing. I love that. Puts a huge smile one my face and a giant boner in my pants."
--Terrence, 25, bartender/guitarist
"I'm all about the anticipation. I like it right before anything crazy physical happens. I like her in her underwear, or maybe naked. That's the best moment for me. There's a world of sensuous possibility in front of us. Literally, everything and anything can happen."
"I like the blowjob. Not gonna lie. I like it for all the reason every guy likes it, but it's also super hot for me that she's in control. I like confident women, and I love the idea that she's doing this because she wants to, and that she has all the power at the moment."
"When we're having anal sex and it goes all the way in for the first time. It's a crazy good feeling. My wife loves it too. It feels so good for both of us, but it's also kind of extreme, and involved, and dominating, and naughty, so there's this sensation, even after all these years, of Oh my god, are we really doing this?' Oh, just because I never have to do this again, I'll add another: when we're having normal sex and I'm getting close and she gently puts a finger (just one!) in my anus. Oh my lord. It's Christmas and my birthday all at once, but you know, in my butt."
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Key points
Sex is a craving for men; yet, a negative occurrence like having a fight with their partner can spoil the feeling.
The moment their partner gets turned on is often the moment men describe as most sexually satisfying.
For men, sexual connection is often necessary to feel safe enough for emotional vulnerability.
This post is in response to
How Women Really Think About Sex
By Laurie J Watson PhD, LMFT, LPC
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Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
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Autism
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Relationships
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Trending Topics
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted August 12, 2017
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
Over my career as a sex therapist, I have had the opportunity to sit with thousands of men as they've discussed their sexual feelings, sex lives, and fantasies . Obviously, I don’t know what it feels like to be a man, but I have had the honor of listening to the male perspective on sexual relationships. And while every man is different, of course, there are some common themes:
While women’s desire for sex may be prompted by their mind, memory , or emotional feelings of connection, for men desire is physical. Men have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their bodies, pushing and driving them toward sexual expression. Erections spring at the slightest provocation in young men. And for an adult man, seeing his wife or partner coming out of the shower naked causes his body to react. It is hard to overestimate the way his body chemistry directs his mind’s psychology toward the sexual.
Yes, he wants to be full. But his craving for sex is like a craving for chocolates: Each sexual episode holds the exquisite possibility of a surprise-filled confection — maybe creamy smooth, or buttery rich, perhaps a little raw and bittersweet, or silky sweet. His mind is captivated by the thought of an opportunity to feel delighted and surprised. A day is hardly complete without dessert. Yet, the context of the relationship — for instance, a fight with his wife — can still spoil his appetite .
Sexuality infuses a man’s intimate relationships with potential and excitement. The hormonal energy gives him the drive and aggression to pursue his life’s purpose and work and to pursue his partner. He pushes through daily monotony, tantalized by the fantasy of a sexual reward at the end of a hard day.
It’s life's most thrilling adventure. His body is a great pleasure machine that he’d like to enjoy at full throttle. Since orgasm is usually reliable and easy, a variety of sexual acts, positions, and rhythms seem to be a fantastic way to explore and elevate his gratification. Every flirtation , smile, innuendo, shapely figure, or sexual image, whether fantasized or real, is a hit on the male brain. His brainwaves spike with elation just at the hint of something or someone reminding him of sex.
The moment his partner gets turned on is often the moment men describe as most sexually satisfying. It’s baffling to men when they are called selfish because of their preference for sexual connection. In their hearts, there is an expectation of mutual, exquisite bodily pleasure. He often concocts and fantasizes about how to make it better for her, begging for information about her erotic desires, just so he can improve as a lover.
Sexual release makes men feel like they are finally home. After the world’s hurts and challenges, sex embodies love and care and provides soothing and support. While he may be accused of “only wanting sex,” most men want and feel a much more emotional connection than a simple bodily release. Making love literally creates a deep feeling of attachment to his partner and spurs relational generosity , faith, and optimism . Being desired by his partner can be the single most reassuring part of his relationship.
While most women may wish for an emotional connection before having a physical connection, for men sexual connection is often necessary to feel safe enough for emotional vulnerability. Ultimately, male sexual drive in a relationship is a gift — it’s another path toward love.
Facebook image: Cookie Studio/Shutterstock
Laurie Watson is an AASECT certified sex therapist and the podcast host of FOREPLAY - Radio Sex Therapy on iTunes. She lectures at Duke and UNC’s medical schools and can be reached at AwakeningsCenter.org.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.
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Men, whom many women have been taught would rather have sex than breathe oxygen, do have preferences when it comes to positions. And get this: Many even favor quality over quantity. Don't believe us? These men came forward to reveal their favorite sex moves — and most proved tamer than you might imagine.
"I like to take it slow, with a lot of oral from both sides. Heavy amounts of kissing, heavy petting. Both excessively sucking on random parts of the body, slow tongue movements across random body parts, etc. Generally, the licking progresses into sucking, but a few early sucks never hurt anyone." — Michael F., 25, San Diego, California
"I really like it when we're on our sides, facing each other, because it's intimate but we can also be aggressive. We can look at each other while we're f*cking, but this position also lets us both have control over the speed and intensity and my thrusting. My girlfriend tells me there's something about sideways sex that targets her clit in the right way — it doesn't hurt that she comes a lot quicker this way." — James P . , 35, Brooklyn, New York
"I don't have the biggest penis in the world, but the position that makes me feel like I'm breaking my girlfriend (in a good way) is when she's on her back and I throw her ankles over my shoulder and penetrate her. It makes penetration feel deeper for us both , especially if her butt is hanging a little bit off the bed." — John J ., 29, Phoenix, Arizona
"I like it when she straddles my penis as I'm sitting in a chair or on the couch. I can see and touch everything, including her breasts and clit. I know a lot of guys like reverse cowgirl and it's hot to see a girl's ass and everything, but I always feel like it bends my penis to the point where it might break." — Peter C., 31, Asheville, North Carolina
" Doggy , all the way. I'm an ass man so, for me, there's nothing better than watching her ass come straight at me. My current girlfriend isn't into anal sex , which is fine, but doggy makes me feel like we're having anal, but better: there's no chance I'll wind up with an strange 'surprise' on my penis when we're finished." — Brian S., 27, Richmond, Virginia
"Cowgirl is better than reverse cowgirl and doggy because parts of her body bounce, I can touch and feel every part of her body, and I get to see her face and her reactions. You can't underestimate how hot that is." — P aul B., 37, New York, New York
"Anything in front of a mirror — literally — anything in front of a mirror is 100,000 times better than without a mirror. Watching my girlfriend give me a blow job on her knees in front of a mirror is the hottest thing I've ever seen, but so is looking over and watching her ride me. Mirrors give us a chance to go where our eyes can't and it's the closest analog to both acting in and watching a dirty movie ." — Andrew A., 37, New York, New York
"69 can be amazing — but only if you're around the same height. My wife seems to feel less self conscious about getting oral when I'm down on her at the same time, so she really lets loose and reciprocates by deep throating and going harder sucking at my penis. All in all, it's a win." — Tom F., 41
"My girlfriend and I like it when she's submissive so the move that always gets me is her laying flat on her belly and me on top of her from behind. It feels more intimate than doggy because I can wrap my hands around her breasts or rub her clit at the same time. I also like being able to cover her body with mine and holding her hands down. It always feels like my penis is as deep inside of her as possible in this position." — Stefan, 31, Hawthorne, New Jersey
"It doesn't matter what position we're in because all positions have pros and cons (mostly pros!), but when my girlfriend starts to tell me about this fantasy she has where she comes home and finds her best friend giving me a blowjob and then joins in, I have to stop myself from having an orgasm in seconds. She describes every detail and looks me in the eye while she's doing it — it just makes me want to thrust harder or do whatever I have to do to make her come. It took her a long time to add her friend into the fantasy (she used to leave out the person's identity), but I told her men are visual and instead of being intimidated by that, she went with it. And that makes her and the sex even hotter." — Justin R., 29, Raleigh, North Carolina
"This is going to make me sound lame, but sometimes there's nothing better than good, old-fashioned missionary sex . I get to be in complete control over the tempo and rhythm, I can slide my hands under my wife's ass and it feels like I have her entire body in my hands. I think a lot of women underestimate how much some guys like to kiss them and rub up against their breasts and bodies when we're having sex — and missionary is intimate enough to allow that." —Thoma
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