Sex Foursome

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Jill Hamilton
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.

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If you and your partner are planning on hooking up with another couple or are looking at a more general four-person group sex situation, you’re going to need some really great foursome sex positions that are a) super hot for everyone involved, b) actually doable, and c) don’t leave anyone sitting alone on the sidelines. (Unless they’re a voyeur , then that’s perfect.)
But before anyone starts getting naked, here are some ways to make it a great experience for everyone.
“Folks who are already partners should talk and agree on your boundaries, means of communication while you're in the thick of it (What if you need to stop? How will you communicate about that?), and desires,” says Carol Queen, PhD , staff sexologist at Good Vibrations and curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. “Then, do a version of this with all four of you before getting to it! Make sure safer sex strategies, health questions, and dearly-wished-for fantasies are on the table beforehand and that you can, you know, talk to these people you're about to f*ck!” She also recommends taking a look at the book Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams.
“Check in with one another regularly. A simple ‘Does this feel good?’ can be a good start,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD , resident sexologist at Astroglide . “Some other options for what to say: ‘Do you want more of this?’ ‘You good?’ ‘Show me how.’”
Have a bunch of safe sex supplies on hand (condoms, dental dams, finger condoms) for body parts and toys. “Make sure you change out your barriers every time you get involved with a different person. Do not use a barrier more than once a person,” says Marla Renee Stewart, MA , sexpert for Lovers .
“In the end, what’s important is to enjoy the experience. If you’re not enjoying it at all, don’t keep going just to please your partner or the rest of the group. This is a situation in which you have to absolutely be selfish and decide for yourself,” says Nina Nguyen , a sex and LGBTQ+ expert, speaker, and cofounder of Fraulila.de , a German LGBTQ+ sex and relationships platform.
Got all that? Okay, now you can get naked. Here are some foursome sex positions to try out.
If one, or both, or either of the couples aren’t sure they’re comfortable touching the other couple, opt for a mirrored position, says Nguyen. “Try the classic doggy position, with the two receivers facing each other, very close together, and the two penetrating people also facing each other. The receivers also have the opportunity to exchange passionate kisses if they wish.” Bonus: Everyone gets to see what’s going on.
Make one (lucky) person the center of attention. They get penetrated with a penis or dildo, while giving oral sex to a third person, and stimulating the fourth with hands or a sex toy, says Nguyen.
Want all the attention (and body parts) on you, without also having to split your attention between receiving and giving? Suggest the 3-on-1. “One person lies in the middle and the other three pleasure their body from head to toe using their hands, lips, tongues, toys, chests, genitals and more!” suggests O’Reilly. You can arm everyone with finger vibes for exploring every part.
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If you’re all new to group sex and don’t really know where to start, get the party going with a game. One couple instructs the other as to what they should do. If everyone’s super new and awkward, go ahead and start with kissing, then ask them to lick a nipple, then give oral. From there, you can just freeform it and start doing what they’re doing, switch off so they’re telling you what to do, or, if you’ve agreed to mix couples, instruct the other couple to start doing something to you.
If you’re feeling competitive, mount up and have side-by-side sex in cowgirl position . (Reverse cowgirl works too!) “If you want to make a game of this and actually race, ride until someone orgasms. Losers finish each other off with oral or keep racing until all have had an orgasm,” says Courtney R. Padjen, PhD , LAMFT, and owner, director, and sex and relationships therapist at the Centre for Sexual Wellness .
Indulge a mega cuckholding fantasy (when someone gets off by watching someone have sex with their partner) by having two people have sex with one person while their partner (the designated cuck) gets to watch. “Optional to switch off who watches,” says Padjen. Try a double penetration scenario with one person lying on their side getting penetrated from the front and the back.
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To get right to it, everyone gets on all fours in a straight line. “All four kneel to provide pleasure from behind. This might involve reaching around to stroke and fondle, or it might involve penetration with a penis or strap-on. The choice is yours! Just be sure to rotate so the caboose gets their fair share!” says O’Reilly. When you get close to the station, so to speak, a powerful vibe is great for any vulvas involved.
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If all four of you have vulvas, “that’s perfect for power play,” says Ruby Payne , sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky . “Have one saddle up and go reverse cowgirl on a strap-on. The cowgirl can stimulate the third with finger and palm action, and the fourth can lower themselves onto the third to receive orgasm-inducing oral.” Got that? No? ‘S okay. “It sounds complex, but just let yourself go and find your perfect position in the moment.”
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